Caution: Witch in Progress

by Lynne North

Gertie Grimthorpe is born into a society of witches and grows up in Vile Vale, but there is something very wrong with her... she is beautiful and couldn't be nasty if she tried.
When she finds out that she is to attend a private academy for magical children, Gertie hopes to find her witchy way in the world.
With a moat monster suffering from stomach ache, a short-sighted owl familiar and mishaps galore, Gertie’s adventures are hilarious and heartwarming.
Join Gertie as she struggles with growing up (and longing to grow her first wart), learning magic and working out how to deal with a grumpy enchanted umbrella, named Bat.

221 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2008

About the author

I am a children’s author who lives in the north west of England and took early retirement from my job as a data analyst for one of the local Health Authorities in order to dedicate myself to my writing. I have been a prolific reader all my life, and for many years have spent most of my free time writing. As well as being educated up to degree level, I have completed courses and received diplomas from ‘The Writing School Ltd’ and ‘The Academy of Children’s Writers’.My aim in life has always been to write, and I have had a sideline of freelance writing for more years than I like to admit to having lived. This has mainly involved published articles in such magazines as ‘Prediction’. I have also completed two children’s novels, ‘Caution: Witch in Progress’ and ‘Zac’s Destiny.’ ‘Caution: Witch in Progress’ was published by Ghostly Publishing in 2013 and launched at Earl’s Court Book Fair. It is available in paperback and on kindle on Amazon worldwide. Zac’s Destiny is also available on Kindle.
I released something completely different on Kindle in 2014, a compilation of 13 macabre Twist in the Tale short stories, titled ‘Unlucky For Some’ and definitely NOT for children! If you enjoy scary, check it out!
A very different children’s humorous fantasy, ‘Be Careful What You Wish For’, was released by Crimson Cloak Publishing on St Patrick’s Day 2016.
Are you a fan of Role-Play gamebooks? I have written two of those too. ‘The Chalice of Jupiter’ and ‘Pirate’s Peril’. Can you survive? Why not check them out…
In 2019 I also released a companion guide to Caution: Witch in Progress. ‘Gertie’s Guide to Nature’s Cures’ is both an educational and fun book for children, introducing them to the amazing cures and remedies available in nature! Well worth a look.
I am currently working on 12 illustrated zodiac books aimed at children, and a fantasy novel for young adults titled ‘Dimensions’.

Reviews

[Renee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Meet Gerthrude (“Gertie”) Grimthorpe. Gerthrude comes from a long line of witches, but she is not your typical witch. She doesn’t have a hooked nose nor does she have a wart or pointy teeth; in fact, she is pink-skinned, blond, and blue-eyed with straight, flat, white teeth . She is not particularly adept at casting spells (e.g., creating Bat, a talking umbrella with a bat head and setting fire to the neighbor’s barn) and even her “familiar” (Owl, her witch’s “pet”) is clumsy. In essence, she is very much not like a witch at all.

In a desperate attempt to change the course of her destiny (as a failed witch), Gertie’s mother enrolls her in a witch’s Academy where she will be trained to improve her “witch skills” including “The Voice”, “The Point”, levitation, and herbology, among others. Gertie becomes the favorite of all the teachers (who all have interesting names like Miss Hemlock, Mr. Mort, Miss Fiendish, Mr. Wolfsbane, etc.) She also befriends the rather rotund outcast, Bertha Bobbit as well as the moat monster and charms her way into everyone’s heart; all that is, except her nemesis, the young warlock Fang who experiences several difficulties as he attends the Academy alongside Gertie.

I really enjoyed reading this funny and quirky story. The author, Lynne North, has spent a great deal of time creating a witch culture setting where everything is precisely the opposite of what we see as beautiful or desirable in our world. For example, witches are expected to have yellow skin, a hooked nose, and a wart – anything else is ghastly. Even the expressions are different: instead of “goodness knows why not”, the phrase used in the story is “badness knows why not”. There are all kinds of play on words throughout the story that are good for a chuckle. The author does a great job of immersing the reader into this witch world – it was lots of fun!

Gertie was a really great character that I think would be a good role model for tween girls. She knows she is different from all of the other witches, but she forges forward staying true to herself. She even befriends the biggest outcast at the school and accepts Bertha for who she is also. One word about Bertha though. Bertha is a very large girl who engages in stereotypical “fat” behaviour (e.g., eats LARGE amounts of food, is sleepy, is lazy, has no friends, etc.) I felt that the characters’ reactions to Bertha were over-the-top rude (e.g., calling her “fatso”); this was particularly the case for the things that Bat and the grandmother say about Bertha. It was actually making me uncomfortable to read some of the passages. I would be worried that children would read those passages and think they were funny but not necessarily “wrong”.

One final word about the writing itself. On the one hand, I think tweens will gobble this story right up. There are so many interesting and fun parts to this story and I found myself laughing out loud many times. On the other hand, I felt that there were parts of the story that didn’t really add to the overall plotline and probably could have been cut to help the story flow a bit better. I felt that there were a few side tracks (e.g., the birthday party) that were unnecessary and were instead distracting. Now, that’s just my adult linear thinking speaking. I suspect children wouldn’t notice!

My bottom line:

Overall, I found this middle grade fantasy adventure to be a fun read. The central character, Gertie, is absolutely endearing, there are many interesting and quirky scenes throughout the book, and there is a surprising climax at the end where Gertie’s nemesis gets his just desserts. I did take issue with some of the stereotypes of “the fat girl” in the story, and felt that there were some scenes which could have been cut, but I would recommend this book to tween girls in particular who love reading fantasy adventures. My daughter in particular LOVES reading about witches! Ages 8+

*** This book was provided to us free-of-charge by the author in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed are my own. ***

[Joood Hooligan · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have young daughters, I recommend this book to them. The main character, Gertie is one of a kind! I throughly enjoyed reading it, even if I'm a bit older than the target audience. The characters are memorable and the story is delightful - with just the right amount of intrigue. Definitely something I will be suggesting to the mothers of young readers.

[Denna · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Gertie Gets it Right (eventually)" is a children's humorous fantasy aimed for eight years old and upward. It is one of those fun, entertaining reads that all ages can enjoy. I bought this book for my ten-year-old niece, but found myself caught up from the very first chapter. Don't pick up this page turner unless you're ready to have a good time. It's guaranteed to bring a smile to your face and quite probably more than a chuckle or two, as well.

Gertie Grimthorpe is a young witch who is born from a long line of witches. Unfortunately, she hasn't really got the hang of it yet. Being born blonde-haired and blue-eyed, with not a wart to be seen anywhere, is not easy for a witch. Try as she might, Gertie finds her best efforts in trying to cast spells all seem to fall flat. She does manage to give her bat-headed umbrella the ability to talk, but wishes she hadn't when all he does is complain and insult people. Throw in an owl for a familiar who is unfortunately short-sighted and a Moat Monster with a flatulence problem and you find loads of fun that will keep you and your child entertained for hours.

Follow Gertie as she is sent to The Academy to improve her spell casting abilities. Meet her new friend Bertha Bobbit, a big girl with a matching appetite, and the weirdest array of witch's familiars possible. Not to mention a demon. I know you'll enjoy this as much as I did.

[Denna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I originally picked up this fun, amusing story as a birthday present for my ten-year-old niece, but I made the mistake of reading the first pages when it was delivered and had to go out to buy my own copy so I could finish the story. It has made great reading for the grandkids when they come for a visit.

Gertie Grimthorpe comes from a long line of witches, but unfortunately she’s never really fit in the witch community. She doesn’t look like all the other witches, and all the characteristics the community associates with them, hooked noses, pointed chin, and not such pleasant personalities. Gertie is beautiful and a genuinely nice person. But Gertie wants to fit in, even hoping she’ll soon grow her first wart. Her mother decides she might get things moving along if she sends her daughter to a school for witches, hoping she’ll at least learn how to concoct a simple spell without having it backfire.

Lynne North did a great job, the story fun, this quirky cast of characters easy to picture as we follow Gertie in her quest to become a ‘real’ witch. Several places had me laughing out loud. For any of those with tweens, you can’t go wrong with this one, and even for those who are a little older (or a lot, like me), and still embrace the child that lives inside you, I guarantee a fun journey.

[Ian · Rating 5 out of 5]

A real fun read for the children. Explaining why it is important to use the correct amount of bat spit and the first lesson for Gertie, how to give someone a wart is only the beginning of this humorous book, entertaining for any age.
Enjoyable for the whole family, it currently has pride of place on my daughters bookshelf.
Also the wonderful cover design wraps around to the rear of the book. Looks really cool, great design.