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Out In The Army: My Life As A Gay Soldier

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Out in the Army follows the extraordinary career journey of James Wharton, one of the first ‘out’ soldiers in the armed forces as he becomes a man, joins the Army and learns to deal with his sexuality in a sometimes hostile environment prior to coming to terms with it and, in turn, helping the army itself come to terms with homosexuality. Wharton’s experiences in the army form the bedrock to this astonishing tale, from serving in Southern Iraq and with Prince Harry in Canada, to being hospitalized in a homophobic beating, to helping at the 7/7 bombings and serving at the Royal Wedding. His story is told right up until the point where he leaves the army in 2013 after a ten year commitment. The Army is certainly a different place now to when James signed up and there’s no question that he’s helped change opinions and make life easier for gay service people in the future. James was the first openly gay person to appear on the front cover of Soldier magazine, the British Army’s official publication. By being one of the first highly visible ‘out’ soldier James has helped the armed services to begin to address its institutionalized homophobia.

304 pages, Hardcover

First published June 11, 2013

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James Wharton

2 books13 followers

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews
Profile Image for Martin Belcher.
482 reviews36 followers
July 14, 2013
James Wharton's memoir of his life in the British Army, coming out and his subsequent experiences as a gay soldier makes for an absolutely riveting read. From first experiences of being 'different' growing up in a small town in north Wales to joining the Blues & Royals regiment and being stationed in central London and taking part in regular royal duties such as the state opening of parliament, trooping the colour and a royal wedding. Seeing the the Queen at first hand and meeting the Prime Minister at no 10! Wharton takes us on a no holds barred journey of discovery, not only of his own sexuality but of the consequences of coming out amongst the British Army, still seen as one of the most homophobic of institutions. After some initial bullying and homophobia, Wharton finds the army and his regiment accepting of his sexuality in a way he could never have imagined. He details some very scary moments whilst on tour in Iraq and some laugh out loud moments on exercise in Canada working along side none other than Lieutenant Wales (Prince Harry to you and me). He finally enters into a civil partnership with the love of his life Thom and uses his new found media popularity to campaign in schools against homophobic bullying.

I absolutely loved this book, I smiled, laughed, got angry and filled up with emotions. Just like myself and thousands of other gay men & women, I can understand the journey Wharton has taken and the homophobia that you have to combat in your life, luckily this is getting less and I guess we are extremely lucky to live in Great Britain one of the most free and tolerant countries in the world. I highly recommend this book whatever your sexuality, it is a memoir of a vivid and rich experience and James Wharton should be extremely proud of himself. Wonderful.
Profile Image for David.
16 reviews3 followers
January 18, 2014
I found this book to be a great read even though the army or the royal family are not subjects that I am usually interested in. The first half of the book was great, I actually enjoyed the raw, honest and even naive style of writing and found the story of Wharton's coming out really gripping. However the second half of the book lost it for me. It once again highlighted the pointless destruction of war. Wharton described the Iraqi's he was fighting as the 'bad guys' which considering we invaded THEIR country on false pretences and killed scores of innocent civilians, I think might be missing the point slightly. Also his overly sycophantic love for Prince Harry was a little hard to stomach at times. However, despite the immature feel of the book, and the sometimes overinflated sense of importance in some areas of his activism, I enjoyed learning about a different section of society and think the story really adds to the debate surrounding sexual minorities. Being a gay soldier is definitely the definition of being brave!
Profile Image for C.L. McCartney.
Author 2 books37 followers
September 28, 2017
A surprisingly disarming book, compelling largely due to its frankness. There's nothing wildly groundbreaking here; James Wharton was an ordinary boy from a deprived Welsh community, who joined the army (which must in and of itself be a story that has occurred thousands of times over). The twist, of course, is that James Wharton was gay, and one of the first openly gay soldiers in the era after it was authorised.

This isn't an autobiography of deep, incisive observation, indeed there's an almost breathless naivety to the writing. He falls in love as an ordinary boy in his teens, and writes about it as an ordinary boy in his teens. Time and again I felt like what I was reading almost ought to feel banal, but the frankness and simplicity of the narrative - Wharton's willingness to wear his heart on his sleeve - makes it frequently moving. There's a passage whilst Wharton is in Iraq that describes an almost school boy-esque series of flirtations with a gay American soldier (closeted at the time due to "DADT"), that is made simply heartbreaking by the way in which the simple ordinariness of the human interaction slams headfirst into bigoted government policy.

My real complaint is just that I think he needed a bit more prompting from his editor. Certain passages - normally those involving preparation for military parades - are described in loving detail, but more often than not, there's an utter lack of specifics that creates a pervasive sense of vagueness throughout the text. Otherwise interesting sections (scouting in Iraq, for example, or night time wargames in Canada...) are rendered bizarrely unevocative as a result of dry prose, and there's a curious sense of anonymisation. When Wharton flies to Canada, the lack of entertainment on the military plane meant that he read "a book" from cover to cover during the flight. When he marries his civil partner "a national newspaper" bought the rights to the photographs. It's not that I expect any of these details were very interesting in and of themselves, but having that repeated throughout an entire book, makes the whole feel a bit bland.
Profile Image for Kath Middleton.
Author 23 books158 followers
November 8, 2014
This is the story of James Wharton who spent ten years in the army, only leaving recently to do some work for Stonewall. He was determined that his time in the services should be ‘authentic’ by which he meant that he should be there as himself – a gay man. He only came upon one serious homophobic episode, a horrific beating with an iron bar. His mates seemed to take his sexuality in their stride and it gives hope for the younger generation. He was a member of the Household Cavalry and took part in many state occasions. He was also posted to Basra and sadly lost colleagues there. Eventually, on training in Canada, he spent a month as gunner in Prince Harry’s tank and has evidently a great deal of respect and fondness for the prince.

The book taught me a great deal about the day-to-day operations of the army, particularly the Household Cavalry. It was told in a conversational, colloquial style which felt like someone telling his adventures to a friend. Whether you are gay or not, a member of the forces or not, this book has things to tell you. I enjoyed it a lot.
Profile Image for John Anthony.
937 reviews162 followers
June 18, 2015
3.5

An interesting read. A bit wooden in places and some of the syrupy stuff about the Royal family wasn't entirely to my taste, not that I've anything against them; HRH Harry in particular, seems a likeable, sensible and worthwhile human being as portrayed here.
Profile Image for Jonathan.
994 reviews53 followers
October 31, 2014
James Wharton came out while still a teenager, serving as a soldier in the Household Cavalry Mounted Regiment. Anyone familiar with the sight of the Blues and Royals in London, parading on their horses with their dark blue tunics and red plumed helmets, will be aware of the tradition and formality of this role, and it was naturally met with some trepidation when he realised most everyone in his regiment was aware of his sexuality.

This was ten years ago, when the British Army had only recently been told that they were no longer able to sack soldiers for being gay, so few officers had experience of dealing with this in a positive way. Certain experiences aside, James had a lot of support from the army while coming out, especially from his own circle of friends, something any gay person is grateful for, and as with some people, there was more tension involved with some of his family.

This is a great, important book, if only because it involves the story of a gay man honestly telling his story while working in a job that few people would associate with a gay man. It shows, if anyone needs a hint (and I expect some still do) that a person's sexuality has little to do with their ability to do any job, and indeed as James points out later in the book, by coming out and not being vilified in the army for it, he felt more able to perform better in the difficult and tense situation of being on the front line in Iraq.

This is more than a military memoir, or indeed a coming out story; it has great humour and many emotional moments. As Paul Gambaccini is quoted as saying at the beginning '...he brings you to the verge of tears not only when you expect him to but when you don't'.

James has now left the army,(hence being able to write this book),but not before having a full career, in combat in Iraq, helping to train other soldiers, appearing on ceremonial duty during the Trooping Of The Colour and the Royal Wedding. There are also some wonderful exchanges with Prince Harry while training in Canada. When Harry tells James that he and his brother have been told that they are gay icons, James tells him that he doesn't think he is. Well I think this book seals his fate as just that.
Profile Image for Rosemary.
2,184 reviews101 followers
September 11, 2013
James Wharton was the poster boy for the British Army's new gay-friendly policy in the 2000s, appearing on the cover of Soldier magazine, going to Pride in uniform as soon as it was allowed and getting involved in recruitment. In the end it sounds like he wanted to continue to be "the gay soldier" while his commanding officers thought they'd made their point and wanted to drop it, but this is an interesting account of how attitudes were changing at that time, though it's not the story of the average gay soldier by any means.

At the same time he had a career in the Household Cavalry that makes an interesting story in itself, including guard duty at Buckingham Palace, a tour of duty in Iraq, manoeuvres in Canada with Prince Harry and being on duty for the royal wedding in 2011. He makes the most of the royal connection, plays it to death in fact, but you can't really blame him for that since he must have seen it as a big selling point for his book.

The writing style is not very polished - it reads as if he's written it himself rather than having a ghost writer, which both adds and detracts in different ways. He's very careful not to offend anybody, to the point of making it sickly sweet at times (surviving family members are all wonderful, officers are fair and supportive, ex-boyfriends are beautiful and never at fault, etc etc). So it does have its faults but definitely worth reading if you're interested in this kind of life experience.
Profile Image for Undomiel Books.
1,262 reviews27 followers
March 7, 2021
I really enjoyed their memoir, and thought it was very insightful. Wharton's writing style is not obnoxious like many memoirs are, and he told everything in a very gripping way.

The first half however I wasn't so sure of the book, as it seemed to be split between chapters of his experience as a soldier, and his experiences of dating as a gay man back home, but never really combined the two. For the most part he was fortunate enough to be out in the army, and no one gave him much grief, which is lovely to know, but also meant that in the first 150 pages, his sexuality had little relevance to his experiences, which was not how the book was advertised.

However after that point it was really nice to see how these things played in to one another, and all his work he has done since then!
Profile Image for meri.
968 reviews33 followers
April 15, 2018
If a book can make me cry it's usually running towards a 5-star-review. If on top of that I tear up several times it's a no-brainer. This book had me crying, laughing and believing in a better tomorrow - not just for British Army's soldiers but all of us.

James Wharton's Out in the army is an excellent book. It starts from Wharton's early years and many events throughout are described very carefully but it never gets boring. As a non-Brit I had no idea how the army in Great Britain works so this was also a very educational read. As an admirer of the Royal family I was also pleased to learn about them and their traditions a little.

Wharton's experiences in the army as a soldier and as a gay man were positive as a whole. For some part of the book I was like "can it all be this good?" but towards the end more things about old habits and attitudes unfolded. I love the utterly british language this book, the straightforwardness of any issue and the hopeful undertone. I also admire Wharton for coming out at such a fragile age and stage of life - personally at 17 I had very little idea of what or who I was sexuality wise. I look up to people who find out early and feel brave enough to act upon their sexuality.

Out in the army made me want to change things even more I did before. With someone like Wharton (whose later work I've read about inspired by this book) as a leader, hopefully the future will be better for every gay person, also those in the army.

Read this book. You won't regret it.
76 reviews2 followers
January 9, 2014
I wouldn't normally choose to read an autobiography of a soldier. I've never been comfortable with the blokes' world of beer, football, women and cars; none of which interest me greatly. But Out in the Army was heavily discounted on Amazon and in the blurb there were some positive comments from people Like Stephen Fry. So I gave it a go. I am glad I did.

James Wharton comes out as gay after joining the army at the age of 16. It charts his acceptance by his comrades and superiors and it follows his army career from training to coming under fire in Iraq and guarding the Queen at state occasions.

Wharton's simple story telling and his apparent honesty makes for a strong, emotional autobiography. There are times when I wanted to weep. He is tough on himself, forgiving of his enemies and understanding of bigots who, at times, make his life hell.

Above all, this book demonstrates that being gay is just one aspect of a person. Their sexuality should not matter when it comes to employment. A job does not a define a man and vice versa.

The other important point is that we all perform better when allowed to be open and honest about who we really are.

For me, it was another reminder that equalities legislation is vital in a civilised society. Without it, attitudes will be very slow to change indeed.

This is a story of a brave man who stands up for his principals on the battlefield and in his life.
24 reviews2 followers
January 8, 2014
James Wharton's story of being gay in the army was a very interesting read. In simple, straight forward prose, James recalled his experiences in the army and the impact of being gay. First of all, thank you James, for serving your country. You should be very proud of your achievements as a soldier. Being gay while serving could have been disastrous both personally and professionally. However, it seems your self belief and strength, and a little luck to be surrounded by what seem amazingly accepting guys, got you through. Good on you! Your book is very amusing and I particularly found the tales of life in the army very interesting!

I hope it helps many others in the forces who are having difficulty with their sexuality. Lets look to the future when being gay isn't an issue in any job but in the meantime, I think you book is an important step in that direction.
Profile Image for Martijn Hartman-maatman.
332 reviews11 followers
June 19, 2014
I love love love this book !!! This man is definitely my new hero. Being gay is hard enough, but gay in the British Army is even harder. And yet James pulls it of, making friends along the way, great adventures along the way and even meeting Prince Harry in real life.

And of course finding the love of his life Thom, and they live happily ever after.

Everyone should read this book, it is GREAT !!!!
Profile Image for Rachel Palmer.
26 reviews2 followers
February 4, 2015
How to describe my feelings on this is rather difficult. I found it an amazing read and could relate easily to his youth and difficulty with his sexuality because only being a few years younger it was similar in some ways. But I laughed and cried through this book. It was real and so very truthful it took me less then 24hrs to read and I'm so glad I did.

I'm glad he found a new passion once he filled everything he needed to from the army. I hope and wish him all best.
Profile Image for Richard Beaven.
16 reviews1 follower
July 10, 2013
Inspiration story about James and his army and personal life as a gay man. Funny, tear jerking and real! Great book
Profile Image for Gavin Stephenson-Jackman.
1,644 reviews
December 30, 2020
"The significance of her card changed my life. I was prouder at that moment than I have ever been and I thought, if an 85-year-old lady can change her mind on sexuality, there’s no excuse for the rest of the world." There's no denying the changes that have occurred in the military in the recent past and acknowledgement that there's still a long way to go. James has given us an insight into those changes and emphasised the need to be able to live authenticity. As a Canadian I can't help but draw comparisons and I'm amazed that it took the British military establishment so long. There's an eight year time gap between when Canadian Armed Forces allowed openly LGBTQ individuals to serve and when British forces caught up in 2000. The first same-sex military wedding in Canada occurred in 2005, some six years before his Civil Union in 2011. Military culture has always been resistant to change and it will still be many years before these changes will normal but thanks to a brave few things are getting better.
Profile Image for Ernest.
1,124 reviews12 followers
August 23, 2019
The world of military service is one that I have no experience or frame of reference of, and Wharton gives a clear account of his journey within it and of his particular experience during it. The role of Lieutenant Wales (Prince Harry) during one moment was overemphasised by the media at the time of (what I know realise was) the book’s release, and while a noteworthy for both individuals in my eyes, the book is much more than that incident. Wharton tells his story candidly and without omitting embarrassing moments, and there are moments of both surprising tenderness and personal triumphs and accomplishments.
5 reviews
March 31, 2018
A wonderful read and very eye opening to how things used to be in the army (I'm hoping things have changed at least). I found the sections about his personal life and relationships to be a joy to read, and hearing about prince Harry was a fantastic and unexpected touch. My only small gripe was a few chapters did drag on a bit and there were a few spelling mistakes that took me out of the story, one in particular made laugh out loud in a good way.
Overall a very good read. I'd give it a 4.5 if the ratings would let me.
Profile Image for Louis.
234 reviews5 followers
January 18, 2019
This was a real page turner, with the author sharing his experiences of being gay and coming out, and the army and fellow soldiers responded to him. I also enjoyed learning more about the Household Cavalry and of course about his work with Prince Harry.
1 review
February 14, 2021
Great book and really interesting about a soldiers incite into life as a gay soldier
Profile Image for JOSEPH OLIVER.
110 reviews26 followers
January 15, 2014
I don't think I have ever read either a biography of autobiography of any soldier - excluding Mustafa Kemal Ataturk.I always thought the bravado and constant mentioning of guns, bombs and tanks would be rather off-putting. It's because this one is fairly ground breaking that I decided to take a chance. And I'm very glad I did.

He carefully entwines his personal life with his life in the army - both in the UK and in combat. If you begin to tire of one you suddenly find that you are moving on to the other. It is sort of candid but the reader has to bear in mind that nearly all of his colleagues are very much alive and his superiors still in the army so the legal department of the publishers would hardly allow him to speak his mind freely. Generally he is quite polite about all of them. Maybe he just omitted the ones he couldn't say anything nice about.

Some have criticised his name dropping of Prince Harry but it is difficult to ignore some one so high profile working along side you. Was he to pretend the Prince wasn't there? Also it is his life story and it must have been quite exciting. Hardly something he could pretend didn't happen. And it takes up hardly any of the book anyway.One chapter and that was one month in his life on a training mission in Canada with Prince Harry as his second in command.He was stuck in a tank for days with him so not easy to ignore.

It is quite eye opening to see how uninterested most of his fellow soldiers were about his sexuality. I liked the bit where they painted 'Killer Queen' onto his tank to cheer him up. It's a readable book and it will give you a better insight into the day to day life of being a soldier in a modern army. It's not glamour and glitz anyway.

On a negative note he does rather make a mountain out of a molehill and you really think that some aspects of army life revolved around him. I suppose from the outside looking in he was just one of hundreds of soldiers guarding the Queen but to him it was intensely personal. It is his life story so he is entitled to say how he feels. If you come from a Republic you may find these little vignettes a bit embarrassing. I found the story of having to buy Prince Harry's birthday cake a trifle over the top. It was just a cake.
Profile Image for Sarah.
840 reviews
July 10, 2016
I was really looking forward to this book as it’s a subject that interests me greatly and I have known many men in the military. However I was disappointed, but I’m not sure whether it is entirely the books fault so please don’t let my review put you off. I think what it came down to was, although the subject was interesting, James is a soldier and not a writer and that really showed. I think perhaps in this instance his ambition overtook his ability. I also let something he said at the end irk me and that perhaps unfairly prejudiced me against this book. He categorised the Army’s top brass who had grown tired of him constantly attending many swanky award ceremonies and meeting celebrities as, ‘tired, bitter old men who were jealous and did not have the courage to come out in their day and so they slinked out of the closet long after it was safe.’ Which I think is grossly unfair considering that coming out of the closet in their day would have resulted in incarceration or a dishonourable discharge or both. I got the impression that the fame went to his head a bit and that put me off. The old adage no one likes a show off rang true in this case. And for all his talk of his struggles to come out there was one instance in this book of a homophobic attack which I am not in any way condoning but every other unpleasantness was caused not by him being gay and out but by him sleeping with lots of other soldiers who were in the closet and then telling their fellow soldiers about it. It seemed to me that the vast majority of his fellow soldiers were very accepting of him and more fascinated than uncomfortable or repulsed. Essentially I just didn’t like him very much as a person and that coloured my view of this book.
Profile Image for Robert Butler.
94 reviews
December 15, 2013
I enjoyed the first 80% of this book as it gave me an insight into the life of a (gay) soldier. We see the reasons for him joining up, we find out about the pressures of being on parade and follow him into active service overseas. I wasn't aware of the connection to Prince Harry when I bought the book and it's fair to say that this is only a very small fraction of the book as a whole (so don't worry if you aren't a fan of the Royal family). I did find the last 20% of the book a little less gripping when James comes home from active service and decides to tell young people what it like to be gay in the army.

I would recommend this book to others - and as a fellow gay man I understand a lot of the feelings and frustrations that he experienced. There is plenty more to this story than simply being gay, but don't read this story if you don't want to read about this.
683 reviews6 followers
January 29, 2016
This is an honest account of what it was like joining the army as a gay man but it is not an exclusively 'gay' view. Many of the chapters and details would be the same regardless of race, gender or sexualtiy and I felt that was important. Of course it was interesting to note the differences. Things you might not think of as barriers are explained.
Wharton is clearly a supporter of the British Army but he recognises their faults. His own promotional work is having a major impact on the way they operate and he clearly has high hopes of the service in the future.
I found some of his writing about 'his one true love' to be too sacharine sweet for my taste. I guess I'm just too cynical for that sort of thing.
Profile Image for Patricia Taylor.
10 reviews10 followers
August 6, 2013
This book gave me an insight into the Army's attitude to homosexuals from a sufferer's first hand experience. Well written, it also gives an account of Prince Harry's attitude (which I would have expected but nice to have it confirmed - good lad) I think everyone should read this - everyone!! I cried, got scared at times but realised there are some good people in this world - I wis James and Thom a long and very happy life :-)
Profile Image for Henry.
472 reviews16 followers
January 15, 2014
James sounds a really nice bloke. What I couldn't get my head around was why anyone would want to join the army! Also

the memoir lacked drama - James worries about coming out, comes out straight colleagues support him, James worries about coming out, comes out straight family support him, James worries about coming out, comes out straight Royal supports him.

I can't with homophobia upon someone but ...nothing ever happened!

Too. Much procedural button polishing for me

4 reviews
March 17, 2016
A tale of two persons

Firstly, Wharton writes honestly. It takes some strength of character to lay bare in print your behaviours and attitudes. Sometimes shocking, sometimes brutal, always open. Wharton finds himself rubbing against the traditional structures of the army as he struggles to find himself, his role, and his purpose in life. What he lacks in literary finesse, he makes up for in drama and personal narrative. An inspiring and unfinished story.
Profile Image for Emily.
129 reviews25 followers
July 5, 2015
As someone with close ties to the military, it was interesting to see two sides to the army I haven't seen before: the inner workings of the household cavalry, and also the state of affairs regarding equality in the army. Really insightful read told in a very personal manner, this should be a must read for all serving personnel
Profile Image for Dom Clarke.
2 reviews
June 26, 2013
I really enjoyed this book. The author tells his story in a brutally honest way; and there is no sense of Wharton being hard-done-by. Simply put, 'Out in the Army' is a fascinating story, well told.

Highly recommended.
Profile Image for Peter Merrigan.
Author 6 books11 followers
September 24, 2013
Absolutely loved this book. Extremely informative on the life of a gay soldier just after the British Army allowed gays to serve openly. Makes me want to be an activist!
Profile Image for John Cross.
10 reviews
September 15, 2013
Unexpectedly fascinating. Just to journey alongside this guy and his growing up and coming out in the army and in life. A but sycophantic about royalty but a great read
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