101 Secrets for Your Twenties

by Paul Angone

Every twenty-something needs a little black book of secrets. Our twenties are filled with confusion, terrible jobs, anticipation, disappointment, cubicles, break-ups, transition, quarter-life crisis, loneliness, post-college what the heck, moderate success sandwiched in-between complete failure, and we need a worn, weathered guide stashed somewhere close by to help shed some light on this defining decade.

This is that book.

Expanded from the blog post, "21 Secrets for Your 20s" that spread like Internet wildfire with nearly a million readers in 190 countries, 101 Secrets for Your Twenties will encourage, inspire, prompt a plethora of LOLs, and kick-start your life forward with its witty, honest, and hilarious wisdom-stuffed-pearls to help you rock life in your twenties.

"Wow, may I just say how freakishly applicable these "secrets" are to my life in my 20s?"
@ABsport19

"I haven't laughed all day, until I read this. Hysterical & brilliant truth...So thankful for @PaulAngone"
@kenin312

"Probably some of the best pieces of advice for 20-somethings ever. I especially love 5Flol"
@Emilyann54

"I wish I had this list when I was in my 20s...I hope more people in their 20s, feeling all alone can read this."
Reader, AllGroanUp.com

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Personal Development, Humor, Psychology, Audiobook, Personal Growth

208 pages, Paperback

First published June 24, 2013

About the author

Paul Angone is about bringing truth, hope, and hilarity for anyone going through "Groan Up" life .

Paul's newest book is "Listen to Your Day: The Life-Changing Practicer of Paying Attention", which Publisher's Weekly gave a positive review, writing "Angone’s encouraging attitude is infectious. Readers will appreciate this solid, down-to-earth entry.”

Paul is also the best-selling author of the books "101 Questions You Need to Ask in Your Twenties," "101 Secrets For Your Twenties", "25 Lies Twentysomethings Need to Stop Believing", having sold over 150,000 books and counting!

Paul is also the creator of AllGroanUp.com -- a place for those asking "what now?", which has received millions of visitors from over 190 countries. He is also a sought-after Millennial speaker and organizational consultant.

Paul is married with four kids and lives in Denver, CO. Find him at AllGroanUp.com, PaulAngone.com, and find him on Instagram and Twitter @PaulAngone

Reviews

[Yuri Cunha · Rating 2 out of 5]

Way too focused on a heterosexual, religious, and business-oriented type of life. Needless to say, a person like me who doesn't fit any of these categories was often more irritated than comforted/stimulated by these advices. Still, if you're a person like that, this book might be good for you. Also helps if you are from the US, as some of the things he says are not like that in other cultures/places. I should know.

[Joanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book from a Goodreads giveaway.

I wish I could have given this book 2.5 stars, because my feelings about it were smack dab in the middle of the road. It started off well. Angone was funny, and his advice didn't seem preachy. Until he brought in God and Him and He. Then it did seem preachy.

There were many points that I really liked. We're people, not age groups. Work to keep your friends- they're pretty damn important. Break ups suck, but that's where those friends come in handy. Don't settle for a shitty job. Go for the one you want. (Not direct quotations...as should be obvious from the lack of quotation marks.)

But every once in a while it got a little to Christian for me. Usually this doesn't bother me, but in this book it did. The advice that centered around religion felt like it was meant only for Christians, and some other religions were stuck in there to even things out. Also, there were some moments where I was completely thrown off because I was reading something humorous, and then God happened, and then it was serious. All in the same paragraph.

And the punctuation. My God the punctuation (ha!). I know the "mistakes" were made on purpose to emphasize certain points. But for me, the Periods. After. Every. Word. didn't make a point. They were annoying. Sometimes, instead of periods, Angone, would, use, commas. If you're going to use a punctuation mark to emphasize points, please keep it consistent throughout the book.

Now that I have rambled on and on about what I didn't like, I will mention that I did find the majority of the 101 secrets insightful, funny, and even comforting (I'm not alone!!!).

I do plan on passing this book along to a friend. With a little. Heads. Up.

[Savannah · Rating 1 out of 5]

Funny at some parts. This can only relate to a certain crowd. One thats heterosexual, religious & business oriented. Overall it focused on your basic average white male. Sometimes white female but mostly white male. Seeing as I don’t relate to any of that it was a difficult read. I definitely wouldn’t suggest to any of my friends. I’m gonna give it a 1 star just because I can’t give 1.5 but it’s definitely not worth 2. One of the best things about it was that it was a quick read. I’d love if it was more inclusive. A good takeaway is that we are not alone everyone is struggling in their 20s.

[Saiesha · Rating 2 out of 5]

Was funny in some places, but overly focused on the "average American white male/sometimes female". This wasn't a book for me for obvious reasons (Sapphic, South african Indian) and I wouldn't suggest it to any of my brown queer friends.

[Mathew · Rating 1 out of 5]

Garbage. Written in that painful self-help tone that characterises all blatant cash-grab mini ebooks. Every "secret" is the kind of wisdom you get from memes in your newsfeed. None of it is actionable advice, most of it is junk horoscope-like anecdotes like "if you do x thing you are probably in your twenties" that every person ever can relate to. Can't get past tip 40 without chundering. Refund please.

[Niki · Rating 1 out of 5]

UPDATE December 2019: I disliked this enough to decide to bump the rating down to just 1 star after all.

Actual rating: 1,5 star, but since my 1-stars are mostly reserved for DNFs or books I came REALLY close to DNFing, and 101 Secrets did make me chuckle at times, it's gonna get a 2, but only because I'm being nice.

This was such a blatant moneygrab, despite the author claiming, at several points in the book, that he really DID have something to say with this book. No, though, he didn't. There are literally NO "secrets", or actually anything personal except for a few stories (but we'll get to that) in the book. Most of it is self-help cliches like "Don't count down the days, make the days count!!!" The only thing missing was a "Hang in there!" kitten poster, to complete the look.

Second of all, there were waaaaayy too many (straight) marriage chapters, or parenthood chapters, or even Christian God chapters (even though the author tries to be discreet about it in the beginning, and only alludes to "faith", he later on begins full-o preachy "God wants you to write your life *with* Him, etc etc"; I'm not joking- that's secret 71, "God wants writing partners"), for me to relate. Every time God specifically was mentioned, my eyes were rolling back my head. I did NOT sign up for this, Paul Angone!!

Oh, and those personal stories I mentioned earlier? Most of those had to do with God and the church and faith. Yeah.

I don't think I completely wasted my time with this, but.... I kind of did.

[Kelly Scanlon · Rating 1 out of 5]

Way too inconsistent with punctuation. And normally, italicized or boldfaced words and phrases are meant to add emphasis, but in this book nearly every single paragraph is given some special treatment, and it looks silly. Some of the ways the author tries to inject humor I to his "secrets" is often far-fetched and draw out to the point where it just isn't funny. He also gets a bit preachy from time to time, and assumes that all of his readers have some battle with or understanding of the Christian faith. Angone also totally neglects recommending that we use our twenties to learn about those that think differently from us, and try to understand where they're coming from.

[Brooke Averick · Rating 4 out of 5]

Would definitely recommend this to any of my friends who are in the midst of their post-grad quarter life crisis. The only reason it’s not getting 5 stars is because it was oddly religious at some points which I found to be distracting and unnecessary.

[محمدعلی کرمی · Rating 2 out of 5]

نکته اول اینکه واقعا نمیشه اسمش رو گذاشت 101 راز، چون اکثر بخش هاش در کل آموزنده نیستن و صرفا مثل نصیحت های یک پدر و یا همچین چیزی به نظر میرسن. البته برخی نکاتی که داره خوبن و میتونن و برای افراد کمک کننده باشن.
.
نکته دوم هم اینکه تمرکز زیادی روی بیزنس و کار داره اکثر بخش های کتاب و مخاطب اصلی کتاب افراد مذهبی هستن و اگر غیر مذهبی باشید مطمئنا خوشتون نمیاد.
در کل بد نیست برای اینکه دو سه تا چیز یاد بگیریم و تو زندگی ازشون استفاده کنیم.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you’re feeling a little lost in your twenties (and let’s face it…who’s not?), I’d encourage you to pick up a copy of 101 Secrets for Your Twenties.

Because Paul Angone tells it like it is in an easy-to-read, almost blog-like format. The book is broken into 101 chapters, some as short as one paragraph, others as long as three to four pages. Each chapter is a secret; a little life-lesson on how to get through your twenties.

From chapters on how to make friends in your twenties (harder than it sounds!) to the perils of dating (ugh) to adjusting our personal timelines (note to self: do this), Paul shares his wisdom in a matter-of-fact yet gentle big brother-esque way.

My only small complaint about the book is that at times, it became a little too religious for my taste and sometimes those references felt a little unnatural and out of place to me.

Overall, I flew through the book, highlighting favorite passages along the way to read again later. Highly recommend!

[Allie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed the quick – read format of this book. And I liked some of the items listed within. However, this book felt a little bit preachy to me. It seems to pre-suppose that the following things are necessary to a happy life:

• Dating/Romance
• Faith in God
• Lots of job changes

I personally think that a happy and meaningful life can be lived without all of those things. Ultimately, there is no one formula that fits everyone. It’s up to each of us to figure out what works best in our lives, which may not be the suggested or “normal” route.

[Shanu · Rating 2 out of 5]

-applies to one specific kind of people
-entertaining
-it still feels nice to know we're not "alone" and that people go through the same worries as us

[kylajaclyn · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well, I would have never been interested in this book if I would have known it was structured just to tell you the secrets, not really being an actual book.

That said, there's not much here you aren't going to learn on your own in your 20s. And, to be honest, we have to learn all this ourselves and, often, navigate alone. I feel this book is better for people in their early 20s rather than late 20s, like me.

I didn't appreciate all the cubicle and God talk. First off, there are, as Old Golly said, "as many ways to live as there are people in this world, and each one deserves a closer look." So many magazines and books focus on cubicle jobs. Well, I don't want a cubicle job. There are tons of jobs out there. In a book like this, you should acknowledge that. Also, I'm agnostic. Angone clearly has an agenda faith-wise; he believes it's important and everyone should have some type of faith. Great, except, I don't, and I'm not required to. And this book isn't advertised as faith-based, but it should be, because then I wouldn't have been so quick to read it. It's fine to talk about your faith and acknowledge other faiths, other higher powers (such as Demi Lovato did in her book), but to not even include all types of readers with all types of faiths into your writing... That sucks. I would have liked some nod that what he believes is not necessarily what all the rest of us believe. There was an even an unsettling secret about defeating the Liar. I thought this would be the voices inside of us that tell us we are no good... I guess that is what they are, but to him it's Satan. Well. I'll be on my way now...

[Riley Fuller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun book to start the new year as someone almost in his mid-twenties!

[Jaymie Shook · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was standing among the trees, unable to see the forest. You see, I was a twentysomething, but I didn’t realize that being a twentysomething was really a thing.

Then at work we published a book by Christin Taylor (christintaylor.com, @ShipwreckedinLA) called Shipwrecked in L.A., and as I read it, I recognized myself. Christin did lots of research on the developmental stage between your teens and your thirties, and she recognized that at some point in this stage, everyone goes through a shipwreck – a.k.a. a quarter-life crisis. She illustrates her own shipwreck, wherein she left everything she knew here in Indiana to follow her film-making dream in L.A. (except her husband; she did take him!)

In the course of researching to publicize Shipwrecked in L.A., I came across a blog called All Groan Up and found another kindred spirit, Paul Angone (allgroanup.com, @PaulAngone).

Paul’s site displayed and discussed many of the issues Christin brought up in her book and many of the issues I was dealing with in my own life, such as employment in your twenties, deciding what kind of adult you want to be, and finding the kind of people you want to be with. I so identified with what Paul said that when he posted about his upcoming book, 101 Secrets For Your Twenties, I knew I had to read it.

I’m so glad Paul picked me to receive a review copy of the book! So many of the secrets stood out to me:

6: Life will never feel like it’s supposed to.

Right? Besides the fact that the media has taught us all to expect fantasies in our real lives, we’re all different. Why would we expect to our lives and our feelings to happen like anyone else’s?

13: If you grew up going to church, at some point in your 20s you might stop going to church. If you grew up with faith as a central part of your life, at some point in your 20s, faith might move to the outskirts of town next to the trailer park and three-legged squirrel refuge.

We went to a fantastic church when I was little. In high school and college, however, I lapsed. Without someone to make me get up, it was so easy to stay in bed. When my husband and I had our first child, though, I turned that attitude around. I wanted my son to have the same comfort I’d always gotten from church.

21: “The key to success in your 20s is comparing yourself to everyone, every day. Then let that anxiety and fear propel you to work harder, faster, and with more motivation.” – Guy who had a nervous breakdown at 33

I think everyone in the Facebook generation has compared him or herself to that high school classmate with 3 adorable kids when he or she doesn’t even have a significant other. I know I feel like a failure when I see high school classmates – younger than me! – with super cool jobs at jawdropping salaries.

90: Marriage in your 20s can feel like playing “House”.

90 is my ultimate favorite because yes, it totally does. I still feel like my parents are the adults and I am not mature enough to be a parent, let alone an adult.

The best part about 101 Secrets For Your Twenties is relating to Paul’s observations and realizing you’re not going through this crazy stage alone. Most everyone feels the same insecurities I do, apparently, which is really good to know. I recommend reading this to anyone aged 16 to 36!

[Shannon Reilly · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a twenty-something currently living with her parents and working a part time job after getting a masters degree, I found this book extremely relatable. I am also certain that I am officially having a quarter life crisis (Secret #28 - If at some point in your 20s you feel like you are six years old again...). I recommend this book to all twenty-somethings, if for nothing else, but to realize that you are not alone.

[Grant McConnaughey · Rating 2 out of 5]

Angone's overuse of similes, randomly bold/italicized phrases, and weird punctuation make this book very difficult to read. I think you can get all you need from this book by skimming the titles of the 101 secrets in the table of contents. The rest of the book is random metaphors that the author uses for comedic effect, usually without much success. Read "Adulting" by Kelly Williams Brown instead.

[George · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book, because I am going through the same exact life situation as Paul when he was describing his life in the beginning of the book. I wish more of the secrets would go into detail, but I enjoyed the book none the less. Everyday I feel a little less and less lost in my 20s. still haven't found my way, but I feel as though in my heart I'm heading towards the right direction.

[R-mig · Rating 1 out of 5]

I get what the others are saying about the book being too focused on a religious and heterosexual lifestyle. But my problem with the book was way bigger than that. It felt like the book was written in a forced way. As if the author didn't want to write it yet, someone still made him? It was extremely tedious and monotonous.

[Melissa Goetz · Rating 1 out of 5]

The author talked about religion and God more than was necessary. and I didn't glean any real secrets. True, I'm not in my 20's anymore, but even if I was I don't think this book would have helped me.

[An Awkward Human · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honestly? I didn't get why this book has so many negative reviews. Did you expect it to give you all the answers in one sitting? Then maybe you didn't read this book thoroughly (especially the last advice)

I think all the "secrets" were factual, honest and helpful. Must read for all 19 year olds.

[Molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my word, so good! Insightful, funny, clever, and encouraging. I laughed, I cried, I wondered if Paul Angone had somehow managed to read my mind. All in all a fabulous read and totally worth it.

[Victoria · Rating 3 out of 5]

Most of the secrets are ok, definitely could’ve done without all the stuff about God and faith, handful of impactful facts

[Suzanne Fletcher · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5🌟 rounded up!

#49 “Attending weddings in your 20s is like going to high school prom over and over and over again.”

#22 “The grass is always GREENER on the other side, until you get there and realize it’s because of all the MANURE.”

I originally bought this book when I was 19, a sophomore in college. I also gave a copy to my roomie Andrea when she turned 20.

I remember when I turned 20 in April 2014, I was super depressed for two solid days…And the twenties have certainly been the hardest decade of my life yet, AND it’s also been amazing.

I feel like I’ve learned more than ever, and I’ve been so grateful to experience so many things with full intensity - from tremendous grief to deep love, and just about everything in between. I almost can’t believe all the things I’ve already experienced. I can’t imagine what the future holds, but I am so excited!!

Next month I turn 29, and I finally read this book!
I had read bits of it over the last DECADE (feels crazy to say, haha) but finally sat down to gradually read it all through last fall up until now.

I really enjoyed it, and I appreciate the advice. This would be a great read for a group of friends or book club.

Angone’s writing is snappy and simplistic, and he has some funny metaphors throughout. I really appreciate his Christian perspective! He also has some solid advice about dating and marriage, and some serious bits, too.

I think I relate to all this on a deeper level reading it now in my late 20s. I’m going to aim to read it gradually again within the next year before I turn 30.

Some of my biggest takeaways (and I feel like I continue to bits of this advice many places lately, so I suppose it’s all coming to me for a reason) include:
- Life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% of how you choose to respond to it.
- You’re never as alone as you feel.
- Nobody really has everything figured out.
- Little choices today create our tomorrows.
- Failing is a part of succeeding.
- Ask for help when you need it!!!
- A majority of things in life are never worth us dwelling on.

...And so much more. I enjoyed it a lot, and do plan to revisit it. Many of the “secrets” could also apply in many parts of life, over time, regardless of your age. I think most people could find something helpful or encouraging from his book, regardless of whether or not you're a Christian in a business field.

Book 14 of 2023 ✔️ 📚📚📚📚📕📕

[Cris · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not a self-help person (or even a non-fiction one at that), but I picked this book up during a time of extreme change from school-to-work, and it was generally pretty good. Keep in mind that my metre for good self-help isn't developed, but it was nice to have another person confirm that the things you're feeling aren't as isolating as they seem. This book doesn't necessarily offer solutions, and I respect that -- it's more-or-less just the point of view of someone who's been there and has lived to tell the tale. It felt very much like listening to an older sibling tell you it ain't that serious -- not quite as removed from this period of your life like your parents, but wiser about these things than you are right now.

If you're into self-help and light reads that help motivate you and encourage you to remember that you're not alone, I recommend picking this one up. Keep in mind, though, that it does tend to get quite preachy in terms of religion. I pretty much ignored any sections that were God-centric (as I'm not religious), but it wasn't particularly a deal-breaker for me -- I got what the book was trying to do.

Anyway, yeah -- it was decent. Do with that what you will!

[dannie · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5⭐️

*cries in late 20s*

i am right in the middle of the road with this book. It didn’t tell me anything i haven’t heard in some way shape or form elsewhere, it was nice to have it all plainly laid out in front of me in book form

there is a big emphasis on faith, but that is not something i am interested in. however i did appreciate how he acknowledged that faith is something that comes and goes throughout your life, not some sort of magic thing that will suddenly give you all the answers.

this book also has a very western view on work, specifically the dead end cubicle desk job you hate. and this specifically is a very modern phenomenon. this doesn’t seem to be a universal experience everywhere either

the overall theme of “you’re not alone, we are all figuring this out” was quite nice to have that reaffirmed. as well as the importance of failing and being able to pick yourself back up again.

we are all in this together

[Julia Rantamaula · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book because it handled serious issues with humour. It contains good advice for the twentysomething that grew up in a christian environment and maybe even is a believer themselves. People of other backgrounds can have use and enjoyment of this book as well but should keep in mind that the author can only share from his own experience.

For example, some references were very american and I’m not so I did not understand them. But since the author is a white, christian, american male, this was expected.

[Stella Buckner · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best and most needed books I've ever read. I would definitely recommend for recent graduates whether undergrad or graduate. Touches on Religion so especially good for those either disconnected/questioning their spirituality and need to know how to navigate faith as they age. Get this book now!!!

[Ramona · Rating 1 out of 5]

Do you want to read a book about cliche quotes and outdated millennial references? Well this is the book for you. It's a 200 paged booked saying; you do you, don't be afraid, chase it, and quit while you're ahead (20something and semi thriving). If you're someone who needs these affirmations then go for it, if not pass.

["How Do You Pronounce That?" · Rating 3 out of 5]

Meh.

Thats about it. Nothing was groundbreaking or life altering. If anything, it was concerning to hear about how gray hairs and back pain show up in your 20s. This book seems simultaneously half-baked and overcooked - kind of like a hot-pocket straight out the microwave.

One thing that I did appreciate was the orientation of the book around faith. Of course, this faith is the kind that you'd hear in a Christian pop-song and on a motivational coaster - not my speed. Although it was cheesy at some points, it was nice to see a religious angle on self-help without any of the "manifesting" bullcrap that is dominating the scene right now. If you're a Catholic, like myself, you might find yourself rolling your eyes at some of Angone's remarks.

In all, this book got tedious. There were some pretty good points, but most seemed like they were being repeated over and over again.

If you're in need of some pretty basic, common-sense life-advice, this is 100% the book for you. If you want something more secular, keep looking. If you want something more unique, keep looking.

2.5/5