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341 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1587
Why, if [the damned] could be given the hope of dipping water day by day from the sea at the sea shore until the sea were dry, then that would be a redemption. Or if there were a sandheap as high as Heaven from which a bird coming every other year might bear away but one little grain at a time, and they would be saved after the whole heap were consumed, then that would be a hope. But God will never take any thought of them. They will lie in Hell like unto the bones of the dead...There will come a time when the mountains will collapse, and when all the stones at the bottom of the sea are dry, and all the raindrops have washed the earth away. It is possible to conceive of an elephant or a camel entering into a needle's eye, or of counting all the raindrops. But there is no conceiving of a time for hope in Hell.That is some pretty fire-and-brimstone shit right there, man. Plus: Phantom Tollbooth reference! Balls!
The hour of consummation arrived. The nobleman disrobed and went out to cast his water. It was then that Mephistophelis did use his art, for when the man came in and leapt into Sabina's arms to enjoy the fruits of love, when they hoisted their shirts and squeezed close together, it was all to no avail. The good lady, seeing that he did not want on and was hesitating, did reach out herself for the tool, wishing to help him, but she could achieve naught, and the night wore on in mere grasping, wriggling, and squeezing. This did cause the lady to grieve and to think on her previous husband whom she thought to be dead, for he had rightly known how to tousle her.That's some Boccaccio shit if I ever read it, man.
Jew, I have no money. I can raise no money. But this I will do. From my body I will amputate a member, be it arm or leg, and give it to thee in pawn - but it must be returned so soon as I am in money again.The setting is different, but there's no way this isn't the birth of Shakespeare's pound of flesh.
The parlor was full of blood. Brain clave unto the walls where the Fiend had dashed him from one to the other. Here lay his eyes. here a few teeth...When they came out to the dung heap, here they found his corpse. It was monstrous to behold, for head and limbs were still twitching.There's some proper gore, dude! Nice!