Conditions of a Heart

by Bethany Mangle

For fans of Talia Hibbert and Lynn Painter comes a funny and unflinchingly honest story about a teen who must come to terms with her disability and what it means for her identity, her love life, and her future.

Brynn Kwan is desperate for her high school persona to be real. That Brynn is head of the yearbook committee, the favorite for prom queen, and definitely not crumbling from a secret disability that’s rapidly wearing her down. If no one knows the truth about her condition, Brynn doesn’t have to worry about the pitying looks or accusations of being a faker that already destroyed her childhood friendships. She’s even willing to let go of her four-year relationship with her first love, Oliver, rather than reveal that a necessary surgery was the reason she ignored his existence for the entire summer.

But after Brynn tries to break up a fight at a pep rally and winds up barred from all her clubs and senior prom, she has nothing left to prop up her illusion of being just like everyone else. During a week-long suspension from school, she realizes that she doesn’t quite recognize the face in the mirror—and it’s not because of her black eye from the fight. With a healthy sister who simply doesn’t understand and a confused ex-boyfriend who won’t just take a hint and go away like a normal human being , Brynn begins to wonder if it’s possible to reinvent her world by being the person she thought no one wanted: herself.

Genres: Romance, Young Adult, Disability, Contemporary, Fiction, Young Adult Contemporary, Realistic Fiction

352 pages, Hardcover

First published February 20, 2024

About the author

Bethany Mangle is the author of the young adult contemporary novels PREPPED and ALL THE RIGHT REASONS. Her third book, CONDITIONS OF A HEART, is forthcoming in February 2024. When she isn’t writing, she enjoys spoiling her dog, playing video games, and spending time with her unbearably nerdy husband. She moves too much to put a location in her bio ever again.

Bethany is represented by Jennifer Wills and Nicole Resciniti of The Seymour Agency.

Note:
I don't add readers as friends on Goodreads because of Amazon's policy on reviews. Please follow me instead. I'm also active on Twitter and Instagram @bethanymangle. Thanks for your understanding!

Reviews

[Spiri Skye · Rating 5 out of 5]

balled my eyes out several times thanks so much!!! All jokes aside(and this was funny as fuck through the tears) if you have a chronic illness this book makes you feel SEEN.

[Sydney | sydneys.books · Rating 4 out of 5]

“We’re all fighting our own demons, except that some people get a magic wand and some of us get a stick.”

Brynn Kwan has hypermobile EDS, MCAS, and POTS, but she’s been keeping her illnesses a secret from everyone in her life to maintain a curated image. She has a lot of self-acceptance to come to terms with, especially because her able-bodied sister is a star athlete at their school. And Bethany Mangle doesn't shy away from just how difficult finding that self-love can be.

TW: discussions of COVID-19 pandemic, physical violence, internalized ableism

Mangle has EDS herself, and POTS and MCAS are like cousins of EDS. If you have one you likely have one of the others, if not both. My sister has MCAS and EDS and I have POTS.

It was a bit obvious at times that the author seems to only have EDS. At one point Brynn goes up to a free sample and just eats a cracker like no big deal and then seemingly has no consequences from that with her body later? Girl. If you have MCAS you have to see a list of every ingredient, and eating something like that—especially since it likely has gluten and soy in it—is like asking for a multiple-day flare-up.

POTS also doesn't come up very often. That's okay, because EDS also needs representation! But now I want to write a book with MCAS rep specifically to capture that more accurately to most peoples' experiences.

While Brynn was diagnosed at age 9, I didn’t start receiving diagnoses for my chronic illnesses until I was in college, mostly because they weren’t triggered until I became an adult. But the acceptance process is necessary regardless of your age when you’re diagnosed.

My life looks different than I thought it would be. I had to get accommodations at school. I faint way more than I thought I would, especially because I don’t have a fainting couch or live in the 1800s. (If I had a nickel for every time I've almost fainted at school or doctors offices, I'd have a shit ton of nickels.) Walking up stairs is akin to running a marathon with how much it hurts my body. I can’t eat a lot of foods without moderate to severe consequences.

This book is going to be so relatable for anyone who is also a spoonie, or zebra, or disabled/chronically ill. Brynn goes through a LOT, but she has a wonderfully supportive family & her dad is also chronically ill. There's a scene where Brynn has a complete meltdown about Life™️ and Living In It™️, and I'm pretty sure every one of us with a disability has had one of those meltdowns in recent memory, too.

Brynn's disability is visible, since she needs to wear braces sometimes, and she knows her future is going to include more mobility aids, like what her father needs. He uses crutches, leg braces, and a wheelchair on page. I loved their relationship SO MUCH, and was so glad to see that someone else in her household understood what Brynn was going through. Her relationship with her sister was also very relatable. It felt a bit like seeing my own family, except no one in my family is able-bodied lmao. I also loved the cat cafe and her cousin, but no spoilers!!

My biggest reason for docking a star is because of the romance. I wish Oliver wasn't on the cover, because this book isn't about him, even a little bit. He doesn't have much of a character, and a lot of their relationship happened before the story starts. This is technically a second chance romance, but it's not developed enough for me to broadcast that as a plot point.

Apparently, Brynn and Oliver were together for three years and suddenly broke it off. They get assigned together for a school project and then we suddenly learn Brynn has been in love with him the whole time? What? It felt like it came out of nowhere. I can see why Mangle included him and I do think it was great to balance out the heavier coming of age plotline, but I needed way more from that plot and a bit less of the repetitive rehashing of the pandemic.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book and can't wait to recommend it to the masses. CONDITIONS OF A HEART is definitely one to pick up if you want to learn more about EDS, especially hEDS.

Rep: Korean American main character with EDS, MCAS, & POTS; pansexual side character in a wlw relationship; Dominican American side character; Vietnamese side character

[akacya ❦ · Rating 4 out of 5]

2024 reads: 276/250

buddy read with my em!

brynn kwan lives a double life: at high school, she’s head of the yearbook committee and top pick for prom queen. nobody knows about her disabilities, though. brynn’s had enough bad experiences with sharing her disabilities with people to be sure that nobody would see her for herself if she shared that side of her. when she’s suspended from school for a week, she begins to reflect on her life and how she wants to live it to its full potential.

i loved brynn so much! her internal communication was so charming and funny. she frequently has internal conversations with different parts of her body, which i found pretty funny. she was dealing with a lot, though, so of course, she did have some more negative internal communication, which is perfectly okay and, in my opinion, handled well. overall, this was a great YA coming-of-age book, and i highly recommend it!

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This #ownvoices YA book about living with an invisible disability and chronic pain was INCREDIBLE!! I've read a few books with hypermobile Ehlers Danlos rep but this is definitely a standout! Brynn Kwan is a scholarship student at a private school and a pep rally altercation sees her unfairly suspended for a week and kicked out of all her senior year activities.

Taking this as just one more sign that she should start living her life on her own terms while she can, Brynn decides to drop out of school altogether. Luckily her parents, sister and cousin help her realize there are some things worth fighting for and while her life might not be like everyone else's she can still make the best of it.

I especially loved the way Brynn has internal conversations with the parts of her body giving her pain - it was so realistic and painted a vivid picture of what it's like to live with EDS (and POTS) - two rare genetic conditions she inherited from her father.

The second chance romance with her ex boyfriend Oliver was another highlight for me as was the David and Goliath fight Brynn takes on with the school board that sided with the boy whose parents use money to excuse his bad behavior.

Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early digital copy of this book in exchange for my honest review! I highly recommend this for fans of authors like Talia Hibbert, Melissa See and Jules Machias.

⚠️TW: ableism, discussions about life during COVID

[Tara · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars
rep: POTS, hEDS
This book hit so hard. Like, I am not one to cry during books I think there’s literally one book that has made me cry, but this one genuinely brought tears to my eyes. Number one if you have a chronic illness of any kind this is a must read.
The first thing I’m gonna talk about in this review is the chronic illness rep because as somebody that has the exact same conditions as the main character, this book felt so real. Genuinely some of the scenes I was reading felt like flashbacks to my life, I have never felt myself so much in a main character. The pain, the discussion of insurance struggles, issues with medical care, the fear of having to come out to classmates about being disabled, wow. Honestly left me speechless, Bethany Mangle wrote those scenes with so much love and care but also left them feeling raw and true.
Brynn’s relationship with her dad was honestly probably one of my favorite relationships throughout the book. I also feel like I have a super similar connection with my dad, because of the conditions we have. The experience, Brynn and her dad shared and understanding they have each other was truly beautiful. They were also super funny just the way they discussed things you could tell how easily they understood each other, and their humor and personality was so similar. It was honestly so fun.
In contrast, I think the relationship between Brynn, her mom and sister was also represented really well. It can be really difficult for people close to you that don’t have chronic illnesses to know what to do or how to help. I think this book did a really good job of showcasing honestly everything that comes with having a chronic illness.
Onto the actual story of the book I thought it was super cute. I feel like it was very fast-paced, storm the kingdom, found family kind’ve vibes and it features a cat cafe- I loved it. I also loved the small relationship aspected and how that played a role into everything. I definitely think it was more focused on Brynn’s self identity though honestly, even if you don’t have a chronic illness, I think anybody would find something to relate to in Brynn’s story
Overall this was an absolutely beautiful story that truly touched my heart, definitely a new favorite disability read and just a favorite YA overall. I highly recommend this book, honestly I think all ages would enjoy- though high schoolers would definitely be able to relate to this book in current time.

*Thank you so much Bethany Mangle, NetGalley and team for sending me and e-ARC copy of this book. All opinions and thoughts above are 100% my own*

[kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5* Conditions of a Heart is the special kind of book that has the power to make people feel seen. Whether that’s because they relate to Brynn’s conditions or experience living with a chronic illness, or people who feel as though they too have to hide a part of themselves to appear ‘palatable’ to the outside world, or get treated the way they want to be. It’s empowering, moving, infuriating, sweet and gentle and one I couldn’t recommend more highly. It also features a cat cafe, which I feel is important to highlight.

TW: discussions of ableism

[AK · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars. 5 million stars. Every star in the universe. This is one of those books you finish and wonder if you've ever read a book this good before.

I want to just put a GIF of Captain Holt saying, "Pain," and end my review there, but this book deserves so much more so I'm going to try to put all my feelings on paper (screen?).

This book resonated with me on another and put so many feelings into words. I loved how the book sets up situations to build empathy in its readers. Even if you can't relate to the core of Brynn's feelings, the author makes it easy for people to understand why she's frustrated, why she's tired, and why things are just HARD. It was a phenomenal break down of both her emotions, her relationships, and her disabilities and needs.

If you have a disability, invisible or otherwise, I feel like you'd be able to relate so well to Brynn. From her pushing herself through pain, to her negotiating with her body to just do-one-more-thing-dang-it, to her feeling trapped beneath the weight of everyone's hovering and the idea that being chronically ill is pitiable and unimaginable. I loved that the author canonically included COVID-19 into the story to truly show that the world left us behind. Brynn feels so much throughout the story and Conditions of a Heart is truly a masterclass in turning feelings into words. I sobbed so much, yet also laughed a lot. Sometimes both at the same time which had be choking on my joy, which felt apt for this book.

I want to also shoutout the familial relationships that were addressed throughout the story, the idea that we need to be more than our disabilities to ourselves, but also to our family. The conversations they have are so important and I loved that it showed that growth is messy and full of errors and missteps, but putting in the effort shows that you're listening and learning. This made me so happy, and it was definitely a highlight of the story.

I also loved the end. While we get a nice HEA for Brynn, there are still things left open-ended. I think this worked well because it was truly showing that there's always more work to be done as people with disabilities continue to fight to be heard, seen, and respected. It was realistic and didn't try to paint the world with rose-coloured lenses.

In the end, I have so many feelings around this book, and so much love for Bethany Mangle and the characters she created. Please just read it and scream unintelligibly at me as you do!

Note: As an aside, as I feel like it's more of an editing issue than a writer issue - the final copy I read had some typos (words missing, weird turned around words), as well as inconsistencies (the whole issue with her car kept confusing me, her eating whatever off the street with her problems was weird, along with her other disabilities (POTS and MCAS) kind of not appearing after the initial couple mentions), which didn't ruin the book for me (obviously), but did make me question the editor for a sec. So this isn't the perfect book, but it's also perfect, so read it.

Rep: MC with hEDS, MCAS, and POTS, father with hEDS

TW: violence, injury detail, medical content, discussions around ableism and classism; mentions racism, panphobia, biphobia

Plot: 5/5
Characters: 5/5
World Building: 5/5
Writing: 4.5/5
Pacing: 5/5
Overall: 5/5

Finished copy gifted via Colored Pages Book Tours by Simon Teen in exchange for an honest review.

[Anniek · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book truly does have a lot of potential, and there's a lot of things I enjoyed, or even loved about it. But after DNFing All the Right Reasons and struggling to finish this, I think it's safe to say I struggle with this author's writing. I loved the disability rep, and the honest conversations surrounding disability. I loved the romance, which was very sweet and I could tell they genuinely loved each other deeply. I liked the writing a lot less, but I particularly struggled following the main character's motivations and emotions. There was something that felt off about them - her motivations or (lack of) emotions often came on very suddenly, and the way they were written didn't feel well-paced.

[Em theglitterybookworm_ · Rating 4 out of 5]

this (trying to get diagnosed with) h-EDS girly loved the h-EDS girly in this book uwu

[Lexi Rachelle Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5⭐️

This was one of the best written books with chronic illness and disability I’ve ever read. It was incredibly real and at times heartbreaking. I do wish we could’ve seen more of Brynn’s friends and Oliver though!

[Ella Colligan · Rating 2 out of 5]

1.5/5 this book was underwhelming, i had high hopes for this book but honestly even the love story was disappointing.

[Paige (pagebypaigebooks) · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I’m all the things I’ve had to become.”

I'd like to thank Simon & Schuster for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!

I've also posted this review on Instagram and my blog.

Instagram Post

Blog Post

Content Warnings: chronic illness, medical content, ableism

Brynn was an amazing main character to read about. Bethany's writing style immediately immerses you into the story and its characters. I felt very connected to Brynn and was rooting for her throughout her journey. My favourite aspect of this book was the relationships. I loved reading about how Brynn's connection to her family and friends grew and developed throughout the course of the story. I especially liked reading about Brynn and her dad. They have such a strong connection, which is so heartwarming. The plot was well-paced and fit the tone of the book perfectly. However, I would have liked for the ending to be a bit more drawn out. While this book does focus on serious topics, it's also filled with humour that made me smile, like Brynn's sarcasm! And the romance was adorable!

[Anya Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

the disability rep in this was brilliant!! I loved seeing a character with 3 of my own health conditions (hEDS, POTS and MCAS). This book really nailed the grief that comes with having life long chronic health conditions that will impact your quality of life.

[Shannon Miz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Conditions of a Heart is such a lovely book with a lot of great disability representation, and how hard it can be to navigate all that comes with being a young person while also having a disability. Brynn is trying to pretend her condition doesn't exist when we first meet her. She is trying to put forth the perfect persona, and wants no one to know that she has Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, or how significant a part of her life it is. It makes sense, too, because we find out very early in the book that the last person that Brynn opened up to treated her horribly, and as such, she doesn't want to open herself up to that kind of hurt again.

Obviously, there is a lot at play in this story. Not only is Brynn's health a major focus, but there is quite a bit of injustice at her school that she has to deal with. She is also trying to navigate friendships, and future plans, and all the normal junk that comes with growing up. She ended things with her boyfriend rather than explain to him why she needed surgery, and when she ends up suspended from school and having difficulties with her illness, she decides to just bail on school altogether.

Her dad, who also has EDS, has such a strong bond with Brynn, and even though it is clear that her mom and sister love her, they simply can't relate. Brynn has also kept all her friends at arm's length, so it is great to see how those relationships all transform and evolve over the course of the story, just like Brynn does. Also, a lot of fabulous commentary on how messed up the health"care" system is, and the kind of treatment that folks with chronic illness have to face- even from the doctors who are supposed to care for them, and extra especially for female patients.

Bottom Line: A lovely and heartfelt book with great rep for chronic illness, as well as wonderfully developed characters, messages, and relationships.

You can find the full review and all the fancy and/or randomness that accompanies it at It Starts at Midnight

[Natalie ☆ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5⭐️
Rep: EDS, POTS
Thank you so much to the author for sending me an ARC!

I loved this one! I saw someone else on bookstagram reading this and I’m so grateful that the author ended up reaching out to me about an ARC. As someone with POTS and other chronic illnesses like Brynn, this book hit hard. I think the rep was done so well-I can’t speak on EDS, but anyone who’s chronically ill could relate to this, especially young people as Brynn is a senior.

Rep aside, this was a funny and cute contemporary romance! Brynn is such a real and funny character and I really loved her. Her experiences with being disabled/chronically ill were so real and I really related. Her dad uses a wheelchair and has EDS too-I loved their relationship!
So many great conversations about being disabled/chronically ill, using mobility aids, etc.
Overall, I loved this one! I’m so glad I got the opportunity to read this early and this is definitely a new disability fav.

[rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

i was on the fence about this one. i was glad to read about book with a disabled MC since we don’t see that represented a lot and i’m actually writing a short story with a disabled MC as well. this definitely helped in preparing for that project and it opened my eyes to how easy it is to take my own health for granted.

while i can’t relate to brynn’s daily health struggles, seeing a character have meltdowns and wonder what she wants from life definitely hit close to home. however, i was kinda over it by the end. the last 20% became cringey (especially the dialogue) and there was a lot of loose ends that didn’t get addressed. i felt conflicted on the way brynn chose to act out, like lashing out at her family, which i guess was the point? some of it was warranted, but other times i just felt she was being a tad too “woe is me.”

bonus points for oliver and brynn’s dad though, they were so cute.

[Juniper Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is probably the funniest book I have ever read!!

However, I did think that this was a debut novel because the writing style is a little clunky. Some metaphors didn’t really make sense, and the author has a tendency to write sentences that were way too long.

I also wasn’t a fan of the ending, since SPOILERS!!! We go to a preliminary hearing about overturning the kids’ punishments and then… well that’s it. We don’t hear about if Brynn remains suspended from fun things because she gets back together with Oliver and well, THE END EVERYONE.

I’m kind of annoyed cause that was the Whole Point of the book too.

[USOM · Rating 5 out of 5]

(Disclaimer: I received this book from the publisher. This has not impacted my review which is unbiased and honest.)

Conditions of a Heart is heartfelt and tender. It's a book that examines disability and illness in a 'post' COVID world especially for teens. It's a book that explores the ways our outlook changes. The images and treatments of others and how it impacts how we see ourselves. Brynn's story explores how those who are disabled, chronically ill, or vulnerable to sickness have, in many ways, been left behind by society's desire to rush back to 'normal'. This quote I think sums it up so perfectly, "afraid for us, afraid of us, and afraid to become us".

How there are some who just want to forget, to move 'past it', but for many their worlds have been changed and they can never go back. This new 'normal' is still dangerous. It also examines the ways doctors are not knowledgeable enough about Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and how they don't listen to patients. Conditions of a Heart is, in many ways, about Brynn exploring her own perception of herself, her future, and her life approach. With good days and bad days, with the feeling she can't count on her body, does she just ran towards the end of the tunnel trying to outrun the bad days?

[Rai · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Contemporary Teen Romance" is not a genre that I normally read, but I genuinely enjoyed this book. I thought the writing style was engaging, and I liked the humour even though the story deals with difficult topics and emotions. I feel like with YA there's sometimes a tendency for it to sound like it's talking down to teenagers or making light of their problems. I didn't get that feeling with this book, even at the times when the characters' ages really did define their actions (like Brynn's fights with her sister). I liked the element of the romance being with her ex who she's still so in love with. The obstacle between them is her own ability to be open about herself, and I enjoyed that there was the opportunity for that growth. As someone with a chronic illness I can relate to Brynn's sense of grief and hopelessness, but I really enjoyed her character growth as well when she starts to reconsider what her future might look like. I'm really glad I picked this book up because I enjoyed it from beginning to end!

[Erika · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was cute. I couldn’t find myself relating to much so it was a little harder to read, but it was interesting to learn about the condition Brynn had. It was more of a self love book than a romance between Brynn and Oliver, and I both loved and disliked that. I wish we got more romance between Oliver and Brynn. This book was recommended to me by a friend, and I’m glad I read it because it was a very sweet, yet eye opening book. You never really know what someone is truly going through and this book really showcased that. I couldn’t relate but I could sympathize with anyone dealing with it. Solid 4/5. ◡̈

[Amandaa178 · Rating 5 out of 5]

+5/5⭐

[K · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such accurate representation to the point where I cried at some points because it was so realistic.

[Luna ꪆৎ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 ⭐

“You just don’t get it!” I exclaim, my shoulders rising as I lean my head back, expelling each breath in angry snorts. “Get what?” “I. Don’t. Want. To. Live. Like. This. Anymore.”

this book portrayed the grief of missing out because you have a (chronic) illness perfect. as someone who hasn't been able to do "normal" teenage stuff I relate to Brynn so much. she just want to be normal

"I have the unfortunate habit of crying when I’m angry, but this is beyond tears, beyond the stinging in my hands. I stare with unfocused eyes at absolutely nothing, the whine of the lights blending with the soft hum of the refrigerator. I draw in just enough air for six words, seven syllables. “Maybe I should just drop out.” There. I said it."

I laughed out loud when I read this. In this book are so many creative insults. And yes I am going to use them in real life.
a ‘self-righteous, unmutated bitch.’

[Dedra ~ A Book Wanderer · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 glowing stars!

Conditions of a Heart by Bethany Mangle is not only a story about living with a chronic illness, it’s also a story about accepting and loving yourself and your family. Beautifully written, the author’s own experience growing up with a disability reverberated throughout the pages.

Brynn Kwan wants nothing more than to be ordinary. She desperately wants to be like her peers, a regular teenage girl. But Brynn inherited Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and POTS from her father, conditions she’s been hiding since she moved to a new school after being bullied for her disability when she was younger.

At the start of her senior year in high school, she can see the finish line, but when she steps in to stop a fight at school, the world she’s created begins to crumble around her.

I couldn’t help but feel for Brynn, that life has dealt her such an unfair twist, and then punched her when she was already down. The range of emotions and reactions Brynn goes through in the book because of her condition and because of how she is unfairly treated felt authentic, a result of Mangle’s own familiarity.

Reading Brynn’s journey from the lowest of lows to find her inner strength was a rewarding reminder to look at those around us with more patience and understanding because we truly don’t know what everyone else may be going through.

Not only is Brynn an enigmatic character, but so are all the side characters. Especially Brynn’s father who is living with the same condition, and Brynn’s mother and sister on the opposite side, loving people living with EDS. Mangle succeeded in showing that each side has its own set of struggles, heartbreaks, and triumphs.

Mangle also gives the reader some romance. It never felt like it was added in, it felt organic to the story. Not only has Brynn been hiding her disability from her peers, but from her long-term boyfriend Oliver, as well. When it became impossible to hide, she broke up with him, fearing he would only pity her. The romance isn’t the entire focus of the book, but I appreciated what it added to the story. And even though we don’t spend a ton of time with Oliver, he still leaves quite an impression.

Conditions of a Heart has it all: authentic characters, well-timed humor, and an irresistible emotional pull. I highly recommend this one and look forward to more from Bethany Mangle!

Thank you to Books Forward for providing me with an advance copy.

#popsugarreadingchallenge24 (prompt #2 - A bildungsroman or coming-of-age story)

Check out my reviews and playlists at A Book Wanderer

[Brittany]

disclaimer: I don’t really give starred reviews. I hope my reviews provide enough information to let you know if a book is for you or not. Find me here: https://linktr.ee/bookishmillennial

Wow, I adored this contemporary young adult coming-of-age story about Brynn Kwan, who gets suspended from her elite private high school academy after being accused of bullying/participating in a physical altercation (when, surprise surprise, it was actually the other way around, but cishet men simply get to be believed in society, so this felt true to my lived experience too sadly). She is viscerally enraged by this, and the misunderstanding she has been simmering in finally explodes, and she sends her school an email claiming she is dropping out. Brynn visits her cousin Tori's cat cafe named Beany Beans in Central City, contemplates her current situation, and shares how unseen and unheard she feels by everyone. Brynn hasn't told anyone besides her family about her seemingly invisible disabilities, which has also contributed to this distance and inability to fully authentically connect. Her best friend Fran, and her ex Oliver are people she wishes knew, as it could provide more context to her current rage, but Brynn is simply exhausted.

This book was everything I adore about contemporary YA. We had a main character who fumbled through their discovery and exploration of self, along with an aching sadness of feeling deeply misunderstood. The dynamics between Brynn and her sister Eliza, her dad (who had hEDS!), and her mom were so rough to read, but such a masterful way to illustrate the already-complicated teenager-parent and teenager x sibling relationships. Brynn believed her mom would have fought the school harder if it had been her super productive athlete sister Eliza who had been suspended instead, and damn, that's a heavy sadness to carry as a young adult. I feel like most families recognize or at least joke that parents might have favorite kids, but it isn't fun to feel that way. We all want to feel chosen and supported; Brynn desperately wanted someone to for once come to her defense, rather than the constant self-advocacy someone must actively pursue because of their invisible illness.

The way the doctors dismissed and and made light of Brynn's health was so infuriating, and also triggering. I had only been going to different doctors for about a year and a half until I finally just gave up, and decided that I should just accept feeling resigned to not knowing what is happening to my body, because so many doctors dismissed my concerns. A doctor flippantly says to Brynn, "Ah, the thing a lot of young girls are self-diagnosing themselves with on TikTok, right?" or something like that. I didn't highlight it but it was to that sentiment, and all I saw was red. This was one moment, but it was likely representative of the decade that Brynn experienced going to doctors, and explaining her symptoms and her disability, only to be trivialized or sneered at.

There were so many moments where I got upset with Fran, Oliver, Eliza, and Brynn's mom especially. I kept yelling at the book, "This is not about you! Brynn is trying to share how fucking hard this is for her! Why are you centering yourself?!" However, I do think it rings true to reality, where people do sometimes have to process big news, or have to voice how something impacts them, and I can't fully be mad at that. It's very human, and that's what I appreciated about the way BM wrote all of these characters. They were all so incredibly human in the ways they were a bit messy, selfish, impulsive, reactive, defensive, and conflicted.

There is a bit of a romantic subplot, and while I think Brynn can do better (I'm a hater, I'm sorry!), I appreciate young love for what it is. BM provided illuminating commentary on how folks discussed (and still discuss) COVID-19, and how this idea of "going back to normal" is essentially leaving behind so many disabled folks. The hybrid modes and ways the world became a bit more accessible during our hyper-vigilance of the peak of COVID-19. It inadvertently opened doors for disabled folks, but as we embarrassingly attempt to return "back to normal," we're losing that. It's important that we continue to advocate for a more accessible world, as disabled folks deserve to have the same level of access to it as non-disabled folks. It's really as simple as that.

Final eclectic ADHD-brain-spurred thoughts:
-Fuck wealthy people who think they can just use money to get whatever they want. Like really, I continue to be so unimpressed by anyone who is rich while the unhoused community only grows in the U.S.
-I need a spinoff book and possibly tv show of Tori and her cat cafe. Tori made me audibly giggle - standout side character imho
-The body parts talking to Brynn in her inner dialogue were so clever and so goofy, I loved it!
-I cried during the big blowout screaming fight between Brynn and her family, because nothing is more vulnerable, more raw, and braver than screaming to be heard, to be paid attention to, to be taken seriously. Anger is an indication of a pain that isn't recognized, and Brynn was in so much pain, not just physically. To be angry without abandon is to posit your pain front and center, and that hurt me for Brynn and her family too. It was so real though *cries*

representation:
Korean American disabled main character with hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, mast cell activation syndrome, and postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS)
side characters: pansexual, Dominican American, Vietnamese, sapphic

see content warnings below & take care while reading <3

Content Warnings
Graphic: Chronic illness, Medical content, and Ableism
Moderate: Pandemic/Epidemic, Injury/Injury detail, Violence, Bullying, Racism, and Biphobia

[lizzy &#x1faf6;(lorenhalesgirl) · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75🌟

“We’re all fighting our own demons, except that some people get a magic wand and some of us get a stick.”

I truly did enjoy reading this book. I loved the disability representation and the conversations surrounding what it’s like living with a chronic illness. Also liked the internal conversations Brynn had with the parts of her body. It was both informative and funny. I found the romance to be alright for me. It was sweet and cute at times but also extremely frustrating. I feel like we didn’t get that many interactions of her friends so their characters lacked depth. I would have loved for that to be developed more. Overall, I liked the writing style and pacing of this book. Definitely worth the read!

[Trigger Warning Database]

Trigger & Content Warnings

Ableism discussed
Chronic illness (Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, mast cell activation syndrome, and POTS)
COVID-19 pandemic mentioned

[Nicole Austin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Netgalley and Margaret K. McElderry Books for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!

"Conditions of a Heart" by Bethany Mangle is a powerful and emotionally resonant young adult novel that addresses the challenges of living with chronic illness while exploring themes of identity, vulnerability, and self-acceptance. Brynn Kwan, the MC, grapples with her conditions, navigating the complexities of high school life while concealing her chronic pain from friends, including her ex-boyfriend Oliver.

Before getting into this review, I just wanted to point out how gorgeous the cover is, and I think it perfectly represents the book. Once the book is officially published, I will definitely be buying a physical edition to put on my bookshelf.

The representation of chronic illness in the book, I felt, was very authentic and relatable. Mangle was able to create a careful and compassionate portrayal of the conditions. I really like how we were able to get Brynn’s perspective as well as her father’s in relation to Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. The experiences of dealing with medical care issues (especially in a post-COVID-19 world), and the fear of disclosure are portrayed with love and care, leaving you with a raw and true understanding of Brynn's journey. I felt so connected to Brynn and supported her throughout the novel as she came to terms with who she is as a person and who she wants to be in the future while living with these chronic conditions.

The relationships in the novel receive were extremely well-developed and realistic, especially Brynn's connection to her father as they were able to share experiences and understand one another, which I found to be beautiful and heartwarming, especially when this relationship added a layer of humor and personality to the narrative. I love how the dad was a metal rocker and how he loves Pokémon; he felt like such a “dad” when he related Brynn to the Pokémon Gengar. The portrayal of Brynn's relationships with her mother and sister, two people in her close family who don’t have the same conditions, and their struggles in understanding and supporting her, also felt very realistic, especially her sister’s actions and thoughts as the younger sister feeling pressured into taking care of her older sister.

I also really enjoyed the humor throughout, which injected light into a serious subject matter. Brynn's inner monologue provided a balance between seriousness and humor, especially with her abundant sarcasm. The exploration of identity and vulnerability takes center stage, with the book focusing on Brynn's journey to be true to herself and allow others into her life.

As a cat person, I also really liked the inclusion of a cat cafe for a few scenes, especially the descriptions of the cats and their actions (like all of them puking when they were displeased). While romance is present, Mangle made sure to prioritize Brynn's self-identity journey.

I think this novel would do extremely well being incorporated in high school English classrooms as the book offers valuable representation for those with chronic illnesses and encourages all readers to reflect on issues of ableism. "Conditions of a Heart" is a beautifully written and emotionally charged YA novel that tackles important themes with grace and authenticity, and I definitely highly recommend this book.

[Steph (starrysteph) · Rating 4 out of 5]

WOW did this make me feel seen.

Conditions of a Heart follows Brynn, who hides her chronic illnesses (EDS, POTS, MCAS) from the world. Her life looks sweet & ordinary from the outside - she’s popular, she has friends, she gets decent grades - but in truth she’s gritting her teeth and keeping everyone at a distance.

After a punch from a privileged douchebag leads to Brynn’s suspension from all senior life, she goes on a bit of a doom spiral and has to figure out what she really wants for herself. And her dream life may or may not include her ex-boyfriend, Oliver…

The disabled teenage perspective was absolutely perfect: vulnerable, honest, and funny. (If you’re chronically ill, you’ve got to have a great sense of humor. You’ve just GOT to.) The medical gaslighting and snide doctors were groan-inducing and deeply relatable, and Brynn’s paperwork reminded me of the FAQ binder I had started to put together as a teen to just stop engaging at whatever new specialist I was forced to see next.

The father-daughter relationship here was spectacular and also made me realize I haven’t read a lot of books with disabled main characters that also have disabled parents. Their banter and quips were the best, and he was also so kind and looked out for Brynn in ways that her mom couldn’t always comprehend or relate to.

All of the family dynamics were interesting, but I wish there was more time spent healing Brynn’s relationship with her other two (able-bodied) family members. They often serve as (mild) antagonists who misunderstand Brynn’s needs, but both have shining moments towards the end and are genuinely trying. I just wish we had gotten to see more explicit conversations and gotten a little more insight into their lives and struggles.

The romance was a little silly to me because Oliver talks like that most theatre kid to EVER theatre kid - it made me giggle, but I’m genuinely not sure if a young reader would have fun with it as well or just cringe. Also since they’re on the outs at the start of the book and we don’t get much insight into their previous relationship, the arc isn’t as satisfying as Brynn’s overall personal growth journey (and her journey with her family and letting her existing best friends into her life).

There’s a bit of brief yet impactful discussion about how the world moved on swiftly post-pandemic (in the world of this book, COVID-19 was completely eradicated), but didn’t stop to consider who was included and who was promised safety. And how thoughtless side comments can have lasting, hurtful impacts.

Overall, a beautiful read.

CW: ableism, medical content, chronic illness, pandemic, classism, homophobia, bullying, grief, racism (brief mention - Brynn is Korean American and is reflecting on racist COVID-19 remarks)

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(I received a free copy of this book; this is my honest review.)

[Marybeth (Marybee.books) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you so much, Bethany Mangle, Simon Teen, and Colored Pages Book Tours for sending me a copy for tour! 🥰🫶
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I’ve made it a personal goal to read more books featuring disabled MCs as someone who is disabled (chronic migraines, autism, anxiety, depression, & OCD tendencies) themselves, I think it's very important for disabled stories and voices to be uplifted! So, I was happy to hear about Conditions of a Heart. Our MC, Brynn has hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, mast cell activation syndrome, and POTS. This story follows part of her senior year as she is struggling with an unfair suspension and her chronic illnesses. This story takes place over a short amount of time and it allows us to spend a lot of time with Brynn and I really appreciated it. I feel like I really know Brynn. As someone with a chronic condition, there were several times I related to Brynn and the things she goes through. I think this makes this book a wonderful contemporary read for any disabled reader, not just those with EDS, MCAS or POTS. One thing unique about this book is that it takes place during a post (cured) COVID-19 world. I don't think I’ve read anything that mentions COVID so it was a little weird at first, but honestly, it made the book feel even more real/relatable. This book features a second-chance romance, so if you like that trope, this book has it, and I think it's done well! This book makes me want to read more second-chance romances now! 😊 There wasn’t as much romance as I expected, but I kind of liked that. This book focuses on Brynn and how she views herself and her future. We get to see her mourn a future she wants and knows she can't have. We see her overcome this and grow throughout the book. Another thing I liked is the inclusion of a side sapphic relationship which Brynn is friends with both! Overall, I really enjoyed this one and can see myself coming back to it in the future. I am definitely going to be reading more from Bethany Mangle in the future. ☺️🫶
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🌈Rep: Korean American MC with hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, mast cell activation syndrome, and POTS, pansexual SC in a sapphic relationship, Dominican American SC, Vietnamese SC
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Conditions of a Heart, by Bethany Mangle, is out NOW!