My Time: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life

by Abigail Trafford

Kids grown? Mortgage paid? Career topping out? What now? In My Time , best-selling author Abigail Trafford answers the questions more and more 50somethings are asking themselves.Thanks to the longevity revolution of recent decades, today's 55-75-year-olds are living and working longer and healthier than ever before. This generation is the first to experience the period of personal renaissance in between middle and old age--what Trafford calls "My Time." Defining this period as a whole new developmental stage in the life cycle, Trafford skillfully guides readers through the obstacles of "My Time" and offers them the opportunity to take full advantage of the bonus decades.With the same wit, compassion, and vivid storytelling that made Crazy Time one of the best-loved books ever written on the subject of divorce, Trafford blends personal stories with expert opinions and the latest research on adult development. From the doctor who gave up his practice to write books to the widowed mother of three who reinvented herself as a successful photographer, true tales of crisis and triumph sparkle on every page of this inspiring and insightful book.Like Gail Sheehy's Passages , My Time is certain to profoundly affect the journey through our adult years.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help

304 pages, Hardcover

First published December 15, 2003

Reviews

[Jeanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! There were stories of hope and rebirth. It was the exactly right book for the time in my life.

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book bears contemplation as one reads it.

The point of the book is for people (fifty, plus) to realize, understand and appreciate that traditional perspectives and mores on aging are now antiquated, as people on average, live longer, and the mores that were ascribed to those who age (not valuable; cannot contribute to society) are becoming obsolete. Moreover, on an individual level, sadly (or conveniently) relationships by the time one ages, change: spouses die, leave, couples sadly, practically (or conveniently) divorce, or separate and/or the children are grown and have left the nest.

The thrust of the book therefore, is, “What does one (really want to) do then?” Trafford marks these as the “jolt.” My Time points out that as one ages, there are also opportunities to find and/or rediscover what one (really) wants to do with the time one has left. Is there honest contemplation as one reviews one’s life that suggests what the passion and/or path of life has made evident that can point one to(ward) one’s purpose/legacy in life? Is there a hobby one wants to reacquaint one with, or discover? Is there a cause one wants to finally be able to devote time to? Is there a dream deferred in raising a family and chasing a career that one can finally bring to realization? Are there people in one’s past that one wants to reacquaint oneself with?

Of course, to pursue these things, one still has to have the resources (and not just financial) to engage what one can/wants to do with the rest of one’s life. Nevertheless, part of the exercise in this book is for one to have to courage to honestly look, do some research, and ask, with the courage to act. A little serendipity insofar as being open to what one wants/needs does not hurt, nor is out of the question. Yet, the point here is to be(come) open to what one can, and wants to do with the courage and drive to see it through. However, in one’s contemplation one also has to be honest and aware of other people’s preferences, inclinations and sadly, ulterior motives. However, Trafford points out that one’s life experience by that time should sufficiently be able to weed out what can be either an asset or detriment to one’s life.

The book is written with these points in mind, and very easy to read. I had to read it in stages though it is a short book because again, the point of the book IS to honestly contemplate what one wants to do with the rest of one’s life, not to race through the book. So, it’s time to give some deep thought as to what is there, and what can become.

[Erin Mclachlan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked that this book talks about the time between when you retire and die as the second adolescence. I'm still a ways off from retirement but fun to think what the next chapter will bring. Also, never too early to start planning new adventures. I'd say good for the 60+ set.

[Memphis · Rating 3 out of 5]

good thoughts on how to check-in with yourself and ways to think about your next decade or three.

[Joel Justiss · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book discusses the issues and opportunities faced by people in their 50s, 60s and 70s. Trafford argues that these years are similar in some ways to adolescence, but with a larger base and greater freedom. With examples from many interviews, she identifies ways in which people find new purpose in life and deepen their relationships during this period.

25 Teenagers and people in their 60s both struggle with how to be your own person and how to stay connected.
35 Writing is a process, not a product. So is your life.
36 Death is a huge barrier to satisfying your curiosity.
161 A legacy is a gift. It has its own destiny. In the face of mortality, you have to give up control and put your faith in the future.

[Vickie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Anyone under the age of about 50 won't care two whits for this book, and that's as it should be. I normally eschew self-help books aggressively, but I happened on to this one when I really needed it, and it turned out to be very, very helpful. Great stories about smart women.

[Laurie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book really spoke to me as someone over 50 and recently retired. Gave me a new perspective on the possibilities for the rest of my time on earth, and an understanding that what I've been going through in redefining myself is perfectly normal and natural

[Jeannie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very interesting information about the years between middle age and old age.

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must read for 50 +

[Yvonne Carter · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't know what it is with self-help books.