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Tell My Sons: A Father's Last Letters
At the pinnacle of a soaring career in the U.S. Army, Lt. Col. Mark M. Weber was tapped to serve in a high-profile job within the Afghan Parliament as a military advisor. Weeks later, a routine physical revealed stage IV intestinal cancer in the thirty-eight-year-old father of three. Over the next two years, he would fight a desperate battle he wasn’t trained for, with his wife and boys as his reluctant but willing fighting force.
When Weber realized that he was not going to survive this final tour of combat, he began to write a letter to his boys, so that as they grew up without him, they would know what his life-and-death story had taught him—about courage and fear, challenge and comfort, words and actions, pride and humility, seriousness and humor, and viewing life as a never-ending search for new ideas and inspiration.
This book is that letter. And it’s not just for his sons. It’s for everyone who can use the best advice a dying hero has to offer. Weber’s stories illustrate that in the end, you become what you are through the causes to which you attach yourself—and that you’ve made your own along the way. Through his example, he teaches how to live an ordinary life in an extraordinary way.
When Weber realized that he was not going to survive this final tour of combat, he began to write a letter to his boys, so that as they grew up without him, they would know what his life-and-death story had taught him—about courage and fear, challenge and comfort, words and actions, pride and humility, seriousness and humor, and viewing life as a never-ending search for new ideas and inspiration.
This book is that letter. And it’s not just for his sons. It’s for everyone who can use the best advice a dying hero has to offer. Weber’s stories illustrate that in the end, you become what you are through the causes to which you attach yourself—and that you’ve made your own along the way. Through his example, he teaches how to live an ordinary life in an extraordinary way.
212 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2012
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December 14, 2012I've known the author since we met on the first day of ROTC, and we shared a lot of experiences together through graduation, so I am biased. Mark Weber has such an indomitable personality, infectious charisma and enthusiasm that put me at such utter disbelief that he has Stage IV cancer. Parts of this book floored me. But this is not the first time Mark has faced adversity, though all through the years he made his stellar Army career look like it came easily. Part of me really hates this book because it is an attempt to say goodbye while he can, and seeing him go just does not make sense. I'm waiting for him to turn this around, and not just carry on, but win, just like he has ever since I met him.
Revision1: Why you should read this book: It's not just a story of courage in the face of adversity or an inspirational homily, and it's certainly not a self-promotional autobiography. Mark gives a bare knuckled assessment of his life, setbacks as well as victories, and tries to pass along some sense of it all to his sons. It's almost impossible to overstate his career success in the Army, yet he lays out the full story with remarkable candor. He makes clear he doesn't have all the answers, but that we should keep trying to find them every day.
Revision1: Why you should read this book: It's not just a story of courage in the face of adversity or an inspirational homily, and it's certainly not a self-promotional autobiography. Mark gives a bare knuckled assessment of his life, setbacks as well as victories, and tries to pass along some sense of it all to his sons. It's almost impossible to overstate his career success in the Army, yet he lays out the full story with remarkable candor. He makes clear he doesn't have all the answers, but that we should keep trying to find them every day.
September 20, 2020
Finally finished #400
What an challenging book. It touched me and my journey at many levels.
First, he was a Lt Colonel with a distinguished career--I was as well. Next. He suffered a difficult journey with cancer. I currently have Leukemia.
So, this was a very difficult time reading this.
Maybe I will write more later.
What an challenging book. It touched me and my journey at many levels.
First, he was a Lt Colonel with a distinguished career--I was as well. Next. He suffered a difficult journey with cancer. I currently have Leukemia.
So, this was a very difficult time reading this.
Maybe I will write more later.
February 19, 2013
I am not an avid reader. I very seldom buy a book, I have read "Tell My Sons" twice and listened to the audio version the same amount of times, if you really want to reach deep into your emotions, listen to the audio book read by Mark himself, the book takes on an entire different meaning when you hear his heartfelt emotions as he reads. I came to know of Mask Weber about six months ago and have attended many of his presentations and book signing events. I have watched many you tube videos with him on them. I have bought eight of his books passed them on as gifts. I have talked to Mark and we have e-mailed back and forth on several things. I consider him a friend. He is the most remarkable man I have ever met in my lifetime.
His message of perseverance, personal courage, humility and the occasional middle finger is inspiring for everyone young and old to never give up against even the most insurmountable oods. Marks says: Don't complain about what you don't have, what are you going to do with what you do have? If you need to, take a knee, but you can't stay there you must get up and continue the mission.
This is a life altering book. Mark is honest, open a sharing with personal stories of adversity throughout is life and how through humility, perspective and personal courage be became a better man, leader, teacher, father and husband because of it. The book will make you laugh out loud and the next paragraph you will be crying. I praise Lt Col Weber for deciding to share these nine very personal letters that were written for his sons and grandchildren. In know his inspirations have changed countless lives throughout the world in a positive manner.
If you only purchase one book in a lifetime it should be "Tell My Sons"
His message of perseverance, personal courage, humility and the occasional middle finger is inspiring for everyone young and old to never give up against even the most insurmountable oods. Marks says: Don't complain about what you don't have, what are you going to do with what you do have? If you need to, take a knee, but you can't stay there you must get up and continue the mission.
This is a life altering book. Mark is honest, open a sharing with personal stories of adversity throughout is life and how through humility, perspective and personal courage be became a better man, leader, teacher, father and husband because of it. The book will make you laugh out loud and the next paragraph you will be crying. I praise Lt Col Weber for deciding to share these nine very personal letters that were written for his sons and grandchildren. In know his inspirations have changed countless lives throughout the world in a positive manner.
If you only purchase one book in a lifetime it should be "Tell My Sons"
January 28, 2013
I like nonfiction books - This book is gutsy and real beyond anything I have read. Mark Weber is a military officer and he is military through and through. Nothing is sugar coated. You will find yourself in these pages - not in the specifics but someplace in the humanity we all live. I read this before I go and see him speak at Minnesota State University- Mankato because I wanted to get the most from his life lessons. If you know you are dying, you have perspectives beyond those most of us experience. He is a man of faith but this is not a book about faith. He is a good father and this is about that. He is a devoted husband and this is about that. But mostly it is about living your life up to your ideals and values, knowing full well that you don't have time to relive your choices. That he is a remarkable man is part of the draw but he is doing what most of us can do and don't because discipline is not part of our make up like it is in the military. I come away with a feeling of sadness at his inability have the fairy tale ending but also with the feeling that he has milked every last experience (that he wants) that is humanly possible from his life. We all become dust and fade from even our family memories with time so what is our purpose? We all must stop and ask the tough questions if we want to live life to the fullest. ~Lance
September 9, 2016
This was an autobiography written by a dying father. He was military, had a family and a supportive wife and finds out he has cancer before the age of 40. I thought this book would be letters to his boys and wife, but it really was more autobiography and less letters to his family, but still contained life lessons. This is not eloquently written and I don't think it was meant to be. It really came across as 'honest from the heart'. It was such a sad story about his struggle in battling cancer at its worst. He handled it with honor and wanted those around him to do the same.
June 28, 2013
It's an inspirational story and Lt. Col Weber is an inspirational man.
I'm not really sure this can be billed as letters to his family. I expected some deep level of familiarity as if it was written to a loved one, but I didn't really get that. It was a little...factual...and there was obviously information on here that was just written for us. It kind of fell in between on the emotional delivery.
That said, it's an inspirational story and Lt. Col Weber is an inspirational man
I'm not really sure this can be billed as letters to his family. I expected some deep level of familiarity as if it was written to a loved one, but I didn't really get that. It was a little...factual...and there was obviously information on here that was just written for us. It kind of fell in between on the emotional delivery.
That said, it's an inspirational story and Lt. Col Weber is an inspirational man
August 21, 2023
This is an absolutely beautiful book. A father/husband’s emotional letter telling his family how he feels while struggling with cancer. This book made me laugh and cry at the same time. I highly recommend reading this amazing story!!!
July 6, 2013
Lt. col. Weber has terminal cancer, and he decides to write a book for his children. He talks with candor about his life, his cancer, his ambition, and his philosophy of conduct in life. It is a story of resilience in the face of difficulties, which Weber thinks should not be avoided, but rather faced, and if possible with humour. The images in the book will remain with one for quite some time, particularly the frankensteinish open wound, persistent after surgery, with which the man tries to live a normal life, in a display of grit hardly seen before in non-fiction.
We all like stories, and most of them are along the same old structure: hero faces hardships, but perseveres, and maybe with the help of some allies, eventually wins, and in the process develops. And the first part of Weber's life as glimpsed through the reports in the book might look like that. But the focus of the book is on the continuation of that story: hero is surely about to go down, and the only thing that he can do is to go down with dignity. Just like the quartet in the Titanic movie who play while the ship is sinking.
The story forced me to look again at my life, with a newfound appreciation. Life is a miracle that we are all given and we should cherish while it lasts ... because miracles don't last forever.
We all like stories, and most of them are along the same old structure: hero faces hardships, but perseveres, and maybe with the help of some allies, eventually wins, and in the process develops. And the first part of Weber's life as glimpsed through the reports in the book might look like that. But the focus of the book is on the continuation of that story: hero is surely about to go down, and the only thing that he can do is to go down with dignity. Just like the quartet in the Titanic movie who play while the ship is sinking.
The story forced me to look again at my life, with a newfound appreciation. Life is a miracle that we are all given and we should cherish while it lasts ... because miracles don't last forever.
June 21, 2013
Mark Weber had GIST (gastro intestinal stromal tumor), the same cancer my husband has.
Mark joined the online support groups for GIST and that is how I "met" him.
A few months ago he announced his book, Tell My Sons onthe support groups and how to purchase it. I admit I purchased it mainly to help support his family. He had a wife and three young children. I would read it someday. When I heard of Mark Weber's death, I decided that someday would be today.
His book was full of candor and humor as well as reflection.
Mark is a very talented writer.
Mark joined the online support groups for GIST and that is how I "met" him.
A few months ago he announced his book, Tell My Sons onthe support groups and how to purchase it. I admit I purchased it mainly to help support his family. He had a wife and three young children. I would read it someday. When I heard of Mark Weber's death, I decided that someday would be today.
His book was full of candor and humor as well as reflection.
Mark is a very talented writer.
January 19, 2013
A year ago, I would not have been able to read this book due to my own "perspectives" being radically changed. Today I find it to be a way for me to help heal, a way to reconnect and empathize with others who have experienced chaos. The book made me feel hope and a sense of purpose that had been missing for awhile. I went to listen to Mark speak at the Hastings Library and found him to be genuine and moving. If ever given the chance to hear him speak, do not hesitate.
March 15, 2023
This was an interesting pick. I chose it because it’s a non fiction/true story written by a man who is dying of cancer and is leaving all his stories and wisdom and experience behind for his family. He was a soldier so there were a lot of stories of that, family memories, and alot shared talking directly to his family. Mark was very honest and open and it was a neat experience to read something so intimate. I almost felt like I shouldn’t be reading it because it’s for his sons but it was special and I loved it.
June 20, 2013
When faced with impending death, how does one respond? Lt. Col. Mark Weber faces his by writing a book to his three sons on how to face this journey called life. Using excerpts from a1962 speech from General MacArthur as chapter titles, he uses his personal experiences to outline life lessons for his son. A beautifully written inspirational book that will make you laugh, cry and be challenged. Lt. Col. Weber died last week but his legacy to his sons and others should carry on.
August 10, 2013
I'm not huge into nonfiction books, but I couldn't seem to put this one down. If you like sad stories with a bit of humor, and amazing accomplishments, I highly recommend this book. It's written beautifully, and I thoroughly enjoyed that it was directed to his sons, and only them. I would strongly encourage everyone to read this book, if not for fun, then just for the message that it sends of love, pride, and a devoted commitment to friends, family, and work. Outstanding!
February 25, 2013
Good book that makes you think about what is important in the world. It is very much in line with The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. Contains relections of his personal life in the military complete with struggles to help drive points home. Good moral lessons. It does reflect life in the military and is probably not designed for students. PG-13.
March 18, 2017
If you are in desperate need of an emotional kick to the guts, this is the book to give it to you. I recommend every father read this book, and anyone else as well. Finishing it on a plane was a real treat as I cried next to a stranger
January 20, 2013
Absolutely inspiring and amazing. This man has so much humility and yet is SO strong and seems to take all of his "Buford's" in stride. I can't imagine being so strong and yet so gracious.....
December 9, 2012
A heartfelt book about a Minnesota soldier that is dying and what he wants to pass down to his son's. It is a book we can all learn a lesson from.
January 22, 2014
Good on so many levels...
October 2, 2019
I thought this book would be actual letters a dying parent would write to his children. Not the case with this one.
September 7, 2019
Lt. Col. Weber’s stories are full or courage, humor, pain, sadness, and hope! What a wonderful gift to his son’s and family... and an inspiration for all of us.
November 8, 2023
I listened to the audiobook and while it is a sad story and will make you cry many of the stories Mark shares will make you laugh hysterically.
I highly recommend this book.
I highly recommend this book.
January 1, 2023
I mean how do you give a bad review to a book like this? A man pouring his heart and soul, trying desperately to create something his boys can fall back on, go to, and lean on in the future as they grow up without their Dad. My only complaint was I felt like it turned into a “I was an extremely high regarded soldier…just listen and I’ll tell you” story. And he wasted no time in diving right into how important the Army is to him, his service, his standing, how highly regarded he was and how nothing came before any of it. Let me say right away I appreciate men like him and their commitment to our country. We have them to thank every single day for all we take for granted. And I praise how committed he truly was. I was just expecting a little more heart, humility, and more talk of what his boys should expect as their lives progressed. There was some, don’t be mistaken, and the man literally broke down at times especially when talking about his wife. I just selfishly wish that maybe 50% of the military talk was dedicated instead to life advice, talk of love, and what his boys should look for as their years are lived without him. So sad. As a Dad of 4 I can’t even bring myself to entertain the subject. Ugh. My stomach churns just thinking about how harrowing this must have been for him, his little boys, and especially his wonderful wife. All in all a great story from a very competent, well-spoken, and likable man. May God be with you and yours Mark Weber. My heart goes out to you and your family. Peace be with you all.
August 12, 2017
4.5 but I'm going to round up for this one.
Tell My Sons is a bit of an open-letter/memoir of Lt Colonel Mark Weber who at the age of 38 seems to be living a pretty good life. Loving wife, three sons, and a rapidly advancing military career. That is until he's diagnosed with cancer and is forced to come to grips with his own mortality.
I should come right out and say that I enjoyed this book in the MP3 format and thus had the books read to me by the author. For several hours I enjoyed Mr Weber tell tales of his youth, his early military career, and of his family. In there, he weaves encouragement and life lessons to his three sons he knows he will be leaving behind in a very open way. In stead of dictating to his sons what they should do, he instead encourages them to decide things for themselves and hopes that leads lives in which they will "laugh until they cry, and cry until they laugh." With Mark's death threatening to find him at any moment, it's all very bittersweet.
My only complaint with the book is some of the stuff seems irrelevant. Perhaps if I was one of his sons that would be different. Since the book is read by the author there are times when emotion begins to overwhelm him, and I found myself choking up as well. All in all it was a very enjoyable experience.
After finishing the book, a quick Google search that Lt Colonel Weber has since passed away at the tragically young age of 41.
Tell My Sons is a bit of an open-letter/memoir of Lt Colonel Mark Weber who at the age of 38 seems to be living a pretty good life. Loving wife, three sons, and a rapidly advancing military career. That is until he's diagnosed with cancer and is forced to come to grips with his own mortality.
I should come right out and say that I enjoyed this book in the MP3 format and thus had the books read to me by the author. For several hours I enjoyed Mr Weber tell tales of his youth, his early military career, and of his family. In there, he weaves encouragement and life lessons to his three sons he knows he will be leaving behind in a very open way. In stead of dictating to his sons what they should do, he instead encourages them to decide things for themselves and hopes that leads lives in which they will "laugh until they cry, and cry until they laugh." With Mark's death threatening to find him at any moment, it's all very bittersweet.
My only complaint with the book is some of the stuff seems irrelevant. Perhaps if I was one of his sons that would be different. Since the book is read by the author there are times when emotion begins to overwhelm him, and I found myself choking up as well. All in all it was a very enjoyable experience.
After finishing the book, a quick Google search that Lt Colonel Weber has since passed away at the tragically young age of 41.
June 26, 2017
After reading When breath becomes air, I found this other story of a highly promising professional that ends up diagnosed with terminal cancer at a tender age. In this case, it's the story of a distinguished member of the military who leaves behind a book of stories, advice and memories for his sons.
Sure, the book is not very structures and occasionally becomes a bit braggy and preachy, but I think this makes it so good. It's just what I feel a non-professional writer would write. After all, what do you write when you only have a few months left?
The book is very genuine - at times it's gross, at times it's hilarious, at times it's brutally honest. After all, this is what life with terminal cancer seems to be. The author takes the time to reevaluate his life choices, career, marriage and parenting style and leaves behind a few pieces of advice to his sons. It never gets overly cheesy or sad, but maintains a sense of dignity and acceptance I probably would not have.
Sure, the book is not very structures and occasionally becomes a bit braggy and preachy, but I think this makes it so good. It's just what I feel a non-professional writer would write. After all, what do you write when you only have a few months left?
The book is very genuine - at times it's gross, at times it's hilarious, at times it's brutally honest. After all, this is what life with terminal cancer seems to be. The author takes the time to reevaluate his life choices, career, marriage and parenting style and leaves behind a few pieces of advice to his sons. It never gets overly cheesy or sad, but maintains a sense of dignity and acceptance I probably would not have.
July 11, 2024
4.75 stars. Would have been 5 stars if I had actually shed tears.
My great-grandson is 15-1/2 years old and is in Junior Reserve Officers Training Corp. It has made such a life changing impact on him, and I am grateful he has found a place where he believes he belongs. His intention at this point is to go straight from high school into the military. Maybe not right now, but sometime before he graduates I hope he will read this book. I am going to encourage him strongly to do so.
Lt. Col. Weber’s account of his entire experience of life as a kid, a teenager, an adult, a husband, father and military officer coming up through the ranks is truly an inspiring story. He not only describes his successes but also his failures in all aspects of his journey.
Most of all his struggle with the devil enemy named “Cancer” is a testimony to the resilience and power of our human existence. As an oncology RN, I know from observation that cancer will either make you or break you. Mark Weber’s testimony of faith, strength, firm values and perseverance in the face of adversities and successes should inspire us all to look outside ourselves for the best life we can live.
May God bless Lt. Col. Weber’s family and impart to them a measure of his wisdom and courage. Amen
My great-grandson is 15-1/2 years old and is in Junior Reserve Officers Training Corp. It has made such a life changing impact on him, and I am grateful he has found a place where he believes he belongs. His intention at this point is to go straight from high school into the military. Maybe not right now, but sometime before he graduates I hope he will read this book. I am going to encourage him strongly to do so.
Lt. Col. Weber’s account of his entire experience of life as a kid, a teenager, an adult, a husband, father and military officer coming up through the ranks is truly an inspiring story. He not only describes his successes but also his failures in all aspects of his journey.
Most of all his struggle with the devil enemy named “Cancer” is a testimony to the resilience and power of our human existence. As an oncology RN, I know from observation that cancer will either make you or break you. Mark Weber’s testimony of faith, strength, firm values and perseverance in the face of adversities and successes should inspire us all to look outside ourselves for the best life we can live.
May God bless Lt. Col. Weber’s family and impart to them a measure of his wisdom and courage. Amen
April 11, 2019
This is amongst the finest books I have encountered. I had the audiobook so Mark Weber was narrating. It had me engaged from the beginning and its affect on me will be with me forever. Such a raw, emotional, honest account of how he came to write the book in the first place. I don't want to give anything away, but this book has had a profound affect on me and hopefully will help me be a better person and see things in a different way. His advice and guidance for his sons is quite extraordinary through his own life experiences and his own integrity, morals and values.
If you can fit it in, please try and experience the audio book - his narrative is full of emotion and makes this story so unbelievably humbling.
Favourite quotes:
To be proud and unbending in honest failure but humble and gentle in success.
To seek out and experience a vigor of the emotions, a freshness of the deep springs of lift, an appetite of adventure over love of ease.
To seek a temper of the will, a quality of the imagination and to exercise a temperamental predominance of courage over timidity.
To be modest so that you will appreciate the open mind of true wisdom, the meekness of true strength.
If you can fit it in, please try and experience the audio book - his narrative is full of emotion and makes this story so unbelievably humbling.
Favourite quotes:
To be proud and unbending in honest failure but humble and gentle in success.
To seek out and experience a vigor of the emotions, a freshness of the deep springs of lift, an appetite of adventure over love of ease.
To seek a temper of the will, a quality of the imagination and to exercise a temperamental predominance of courage over timidity.
To be modest so that you will appreciate the open mind of true wisdom, the meekness of true strength.
July 3, 2017
A fitting read for both Father's Day and Fourth of July, this book is a poignant glimpse into one man's battle with cancer and how it was a metaphor for daily living. The book started as a memento for his three sons and a way to preserve his memory since he was diagnosed with Stage 4 gastrointestinal cancer at the peak of his military career.
What I loved most about the book was that the book didn't dwell on the cancer but it was a very introspective look at life lessons learned as a child, the military, the power and influence of family and winning the race of a well lived life, even it was short. Eerily enough, the prologue is written by Robin Williams, who applauded living with dignity in the face of insurmountable health issues.
Lt. Col. Mark Weber was instantly likable, humble, principled and hard-working. He has packed more into a short 41 year life than most ever will. A great and inspiring read.
What I loved most about the book was that the book didn't dwell on the cancer but it was a very introspective look at life lessons learned as a child, the military, the power and influence of family and winning the race of a well lived life, even it was short. Eerily enough, the prologue is written by Robin Williams, who applauded living with dignity in the face of insurmountable health issues.
Lt. Col. Mark Weber was instantly likable, humble, principled and hard-working. He has packed more into a short 41 year life than most ever will. A great and inspiring read.
January 23, 2024
In the vein of “The Last Lecture” by Pausch in “Tell My Sons” Lt Col Weber condenses his life lessons, stories and pure love he wants to share with his three sons into the little time he has left to share with them. Beyond that he shares helping his wife through the events of his life to the bitter end and the rock she always was for him. Being an army spouse can not be easy and his wife owed it.
Weber was a life long soldier who always knew and accepted the end could come in action on the battlefield but he was forced to embrace his eminente demise due to cancer. Rather than caving in on himself and wondering why him he took cancer on head on and focused on how to help his loved ones through the inevitable end and life they would have to follow. I found myself nodding in agreement, laughing and getting emotional reading through the brave sharing of a man living his fullest life with purpose, passion and compassion.
Weber was a life long soldier who always knew and accepted the end could come in action on the battlefield but he was forced to embrace his eminente demise due to cancer. Rather than caving in on himself and wondering why him he took cancer on head on and focused on how to help his loved ones through the inevitable end and life they would have to follow. I found myself nodding in agreement, laughing and getting emotional reading through the brave sharing of a man living his fullest life with purpose, passion and compassion.
June 23, 2024
I have read many books, fiction and nonfiction, about living with cancer and going through the roller coaster that patients, caregivers and loved ones experience. I am one of them, so I believe I read these books with a different perspective and understanding than those who are blessed for not having ever experienced it up close. To me, anyone who has to battle a terminal disease is a hero. But I am always in awe about the indomitable courage, discipline and strength of character that cancer authors (or their caregivers) must have to not only share their experiences facing death, but actually finishing their stories while confronting so much. Mark Weber exemplified such a hero, for his military service, of course, but especially for writing such a gift of life, love, family, faith, integrity and service to his sons and wife. A gift extended to all of us, as readers, who can gain from his honest and profound outlook on life and death.
July 13, 2019
A father with young children and a promising promotion within his Army career is diagnosed with terminal cancer. He's kept journals throughout his adulthood and decides to use them as a basis for writing letters to his children as a sort of goodbye.
I wanted to like this one better than I did. The premise was good, in a sad sort of way. But he flips back and forth between the present and the past and I was confused too often. He also spends a lot of time detailing his work in the Army, most of which wasn't that interesting to me. I would have liked to read more about family and less about the Army.
Regardless, I know that his loss is huge for his family and friends and I wish them all the best going forward. He was a good man, a good father and a good husband by all accounts and I hope his kids enjoy their dad's last letters.
I wanted to like this one better than I did. The premise was good, in a sad sort of way. But he flips back and forth between the present and the past and I was confused too often. He also spends a lot of time detailing his work in the Army, most of which wasn't that interesting to me. I would have liked to read more about family and less about the Army.
Regardless, I know that his loss is huge for his family and friends and I wish them all the best going forward. He was a good man, a good father and a good husband by all accounts and I hope his kids enjoy their dad's last letters.
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