The charm and quirkiness the author was going for was so forced things just came out as ridiculous. Bailey is busting out into song and dancing around, and swirling into new outfits and spouting out weird phrases that no one outside of the Deep South would have ever heard of. The craziness really hit me though when Bailey is on a scooter with Dee, Nick’s aunt, which didn’t even have to happen. There was no reason for two women to be riding together on a scooter, and it was just so stupid. Bailey sees a police officer she knew in her human life, and so she juts her chin out to alter her appearance. “It was an effort to keep my chin out as I talked, and it added an odd cadence to my words.” I’m not sure if that was supposed to be funny or what, but I’m picturing this idiot with her chin stuck out and let me tell you, the image is nowhere near funny. It’s hideous.
Bailey was so vain and spent the entire novel changing outfits and admiring how good she looked. If you want me to like your character you might not want to make her so conceited and full of herself. I can’t stand people like that. She was so vain the way she said she knew she looked good, and her hips were perfect. Even though she was defending them when Dee said something about them, it was still vain and unlikable. I can’t believe she had her character say she was perfect. And every time she changed outfits, it wasn’t enough to just say it, no, she had to describe in minute detail the colors of each article, the kind of fabric it was, the brand, how it all added up to make her look just gorgeous. I was so freakin sick of having to sit there and hear about what she was wearing. I don’t give two craps about the outfit someone is wearing. What a waste of ink. And there was also this recurring theme of redheads. Everyone would describe her as a redhead or make a comment like “I’m not going to be seen with a redhead” and it was insulting and annoying, and I’m not even a redhead.
Bailey didn’t make the right decisions, and it’s so difficult to be on the journey of a character you don’t agree with, and be with them when they’re doing things that are just wrong. Jan, the town slut, comes over thinking she’s going to get with Nick. Jan has a husband, but that only encourages her to sleep around because her husband drinks and is without a job. Nick apparently led her on, the manner of which was never clear, and she wants to get with him. Brian, her jealous husband, comes after Nick and is really angry. So Bailey, ever the helpful emissary, and boy was I sick of hearing that word, steps in and convinces Brian that Jan was only trying to make him jealous by pretending to like Nick. I hated that and that’s when I was convinced that I would never like Bailey. She let that whore get off easy and let a married man go home with a cheating, good for nothing wife. Cheating is absolutely deplorable and unforgivable and I can’t believe Bailey covered it up. That was so wrong of her to do. She could have gone with the truth and said the person you should be mad at is your lousy wife, and that Nick didn’t do anything. Instead she lies and glosses over it like cheating should be kept a secret.
The ghost concept was a total letdown. There were no unique abilities to being a ghost, no benefits or interesting things, and I love ghosts and mysteries, so it’s pretty hard to ruin a ghost for me, but this author managed it with flying colors. At first Bailey can’t “pop” anywhere, or whatever choice phrase the offer favored. She acts like a little baby about it, too, practically whining to Dee and Nick that she’s stuck where she is, and acting like she couldn’t go anywhere just because she couldn’t instantly transport herself there. Bailey fell victim to being thrown in a pond, had to ride around on a scooter to get anywhere, and even had to eat and drink as if she was a human. Why be a ghost if you’re going to have to do everything that a human does, practically? The only difference was that she could make herself invisible, and when she got that ability back, the story didn’t get better. In fact, it got worse. She’d go into the police station and the officers would see notebooks in midair as Bailey held them, and the chalk writing message by an unseen person. And I kept waiting and hoping that Cobb and Price would get to see her. Her identity is mentioned once, and I wanted so badly for them to see her, but it never happened. The author had Cobb shake his head and say really inane things like “must’ve wrong that down earlier,” or “must’ve not gotten enough sleep” and other ridiculously stupid statements that just explained it away with no qualms. How disappointing. It was interesting when Bailey said her and Price found each other way too attractive, the story would’ve been better if Bailey hadn’t been a dead married woman with kids, and had just been a live human being.
There’s one scene where Bailey is at the library or somewhere, and gets the death certificate of a possible lead, and she knows she can’t just float it up and out of the room, because there’s people around and that would be impossible to explain. So she resorts to folding it into a paper airplane and dodging a fat woman who is running and diving after it. Bailey barely makes it away, and the lady actually ripped a corner of the document off. I mean, really. What the freak is happening here? I read, dumbfounded, at the many shenanigans this total idiot went through.
I had hoped for some romance in here, and the story on the inside cover is so not what I was expecting. I hate when authors mislead readers and I feel so cheated out of the story I was promised. Nick was a loser—there’s really no other word for it. I tried not to feel that way, I really did. But he’s a grown man wearing bummy, ripped, oversized clothes on a skinny frame, who makes video games where clever spiders, Phidipuses, outsmart people or some such nonsense, and he sticks up for spiders in a way that was creepy and just plain weird.
The terminology and phrases the author used were strange and just clashed with the stories and the characters. The things they said were out of character and it seemed so forced, like the author was trying to be creative or funny, and everyone knows when you’re trying too hard you just fail. It was not natural at all. And not only did she use “colorful” sayings, she used them again and again and again. If she said it once she said it a dozen times. You can’t repeat yourself at all in a book, because readers have very fresh memories, and I for one get tired of hearing the same sayings, phrases, descriptions and ideas expressed over and over again. I get sick of it real fast, and it takes away from the writing, like all she could come up with were a few ideas and then just recycled them from the inability to come up with alternatives.
Here are some examples of the almost offputting wording choices. And note the abundant use of similes absolutely grated on my nerves.
“they’re on me like june bugs.”
“more moola than a mogul and tight as a tick.”
“full lips curved lower than a downward parabola.”
“the doorbell made my head feel like a gigged catfish.” This was on page89. Then, “the scooter jumped like a gigged catfish.” This second sentence was on page 97. I couldn’t believe the author used the same scenario so shortly after just using it. You can’t get stuck on phrases you happen to know, because chances are people living in another area really can’t relate at all, and you especially don’t use them so close together, then it just means nothing when you’re throwing out one phrase for many different occasions.
“He barges in and asks for Cole with a look on his face that would scare a sumo wrestler. Cole’s not there and Nick paces around like a caged lion.”
“Practically everybody in town has heard you’re hunting for Cole Clanton like a sheriff after a horse thief."
“The word was slapped down like a knight’s truncheon on a Viking’s helmet.”
“His cell phone rang. Although, to be accurate, the summons wasn’t a ring. Rather, quarter notes on the backbeat of a snare drum played with brushes. An ordinary ring should be good enough for anyone. I have never found making oneself seem special an attractive quality.”
Here’s one of her highhanded opinions. This isn’t Bailey Ruth speaking; this is Caroyln Hart imparting one of her lofty ideals through her character. This is an example of the unnaturalness of the characters, they say things when there’s really no reason for them to say them. I’m assuming the author thought this little gem up when in the proximity of an innocent person personalizing their own ringtone. And fyi, that doesn’t mean they think they’re important, so I’d discard that high notion right now. It means they want to hear a tune they like instead of an annoying programmed ringtone, or they want to easily identify when their phone is ringing versus the phone of the person next to them. If everyone had the same ringtone it would be hard to distinguish which phone was ringing, now wouldn’t it? And I have never found hypocrisy an attractive quality; I find it downright ironic that someone that says “I have perfect hips” and “I knew I looked good” would accuse someone of thinking they’re special because of a freakin ringtone.
The author spent the whole time referencing what I’m guessing were TV shows and movies from her heyday, and as a 21 year old I had absolutely no idea who she was talking about. I was just lost a good deal of the time Bailey was making these random connections.
There was some nonsense about Siamese cats, that kept translating as Siamese princesses. I can’t even remember all of the times she made a dumb connection to Dee and herself acting like Siamese princesses. How utterly strange. The same things were retired over and over. Dee looked elegant, disdainful, aristocratic, and her voice was acerbic. Bailey, and I had extreme difficulty remembering her name throughout the entire course of the novel, what with her multiple identity changes and all, was always quoting her Mama. “As Mama always said,” “It’s like Mama always said,” “Mama was always saying.” Jeeze, how irritating. What grown woman quotes their Mama all the time, for every single situation that life possibly has to offer?
Wiggins only popped in when the author I guess realized that he should. That, too, was forced. He would say “Ladies, roof.” And they would float to the roof of whatever building they happened to be at, and then this mysterious train materialized and they heard the woo-woo-woo of it running over the tracks—the author’s words, not mine—and then Bailey would go all psychologically manipulative on him, and he would relent, and the train would fade away. They so easily sent him away, each and every time. Idk how many times that happened, but I was sorely sick of it. Wiggins was supposed to be a stern official figure, I’m sure, but he was an easily manipulated, mild shell of a guy and came off so vague as a character I couldn’t even visualize him. Make that the same for every character in this book, and every scene. This is one of the most difficult times I’ve had trying to envision what was happening and what the characters looked like. That’s complete failure on the author’s part when that happens.