Cracked, Not Broken: Surviving and Thriving After a Suicide Attempt

by Kevin Hines, Daniel J. Dr. Reidenberg (Foreword)

The Golden Gate Bridge is one of the most recognizable structures to define a modern city. Yet, for author Kevin Hines the bridge is not merely a marker of a place or a time. Instead, the bridge marks the beginning of his remarkable story. At 19 years old, Kevin attempted to take his own life by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge - a distance which took four seconds to fall. Recently diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, Kevin had begun to hear voices telling him he had to die, and days before his attempt, he began to believe them.

The fall would break his body, but not his spirit. His story chronicles the extraordinary will of the author to live mentally well in the face of his mental illness: bipolar disorder with psychotic features. With each mental breakdown, however, the author’s desire to live mentally well-- and to be a mental health advocate-- pulls him from the depths of his condition. Kevin’s story is a remarkable testament to the strength of the human spirit and a reminder to us to love the life we have. His story also reminds us that living mentally well takes time, endurance, hard work, and support. With these disciplines in place, those living with even very difficult diagnoses can achieve better lives for themselves and those who help to support and care for them.

Genres: Nonfiction, Mental Health, Memoir, Biography, Psychology, Self Help, Audiobook

200 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2013

Reviews

[Janet · Rating 3 out of 5]

A life story that is not so well written or edited, but that needs to be told. Mental illness (bipolar disorder)drove this young man to jump from the Golden Gate Bridge. He survived but the illness still haunted him, and will for the rest of this life. His push to help others understand his disease and advocate for wellness is important work. Bravo to Kevin. May he reach millions.

[Bookteafull (Danny) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rating this book was difficult for me because I had already seen Kevin Hines give a speech and had seen his movie Suicide the Ripple Effect thanks to my mental health internship site.

Hines is an exceptional speaker. He knows how to pull in an audience and make a room full of grown people cry - that being said; his writing, eh, isn't, umm, the best. But even that realization isn't the sole reason I rated this book as low as I did. That goes entirely to the fact that the majority of this book read like a carbon copy of his speech and movie.

When I read a book, any book, I look for novelty. Had I read this before seeing his speech or movie, I genuinely think I would have rated it higher. Then again, the only reason I picked this up was because of his speech...

I do recommend people read this for better insight into depression, suicidal ideation, suicide, and bipolar disorder - especially if you live in California and near the Golden Gate Bridge. This is one of the few books I've read on mental illness that gets it's information correct without coming across as textbook reading. Hines's personal reflection on why he committed suicide and his struggles to obtain a stabilized mental health truly put this target population, their determination to do well, and their constant internal battle against the mood disorder into perspective.

In the meanwhile, for those who may need it - here are some hotline numbers:

[Jessica · Rating 2 out of 5]

We'll just say I finished it. This could have been a really good book because it's such an incredible story, but it was just really poorly written. I hate to be critical, but I wish the author would have let a professional writer tell the story for him. That being said, the editors did a really poor job.

[Annette · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book touched my heart. Once I opened the cover I could not put down. I saved the best to read early the next morning which was chapter 15 ~ A Decade of Change. I can relate how God can turn a situation around that was meant to kill you but instead you survived and now you are able to give others hope for their situation. This book encouraged me to NEVER GIVE UP on my dream of being a public speaker - I also was saved from the demise of death by suicide not once but three times and I know I am not here to keep my story to myself. I am currently writing my book and it will be published in six months. I have let go of my fear of "what others will think about me" and I will make it happen in 2016. Because it is not about me but about "A life that can be restored to JOY" Thanks Kevin ~ I truly enjoyed this book!

[Sylwia · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF in chapter 1.

[Craig Carignan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great story.

[Tori · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is difficult to read because of the subject and his pain. It needed more proofreading, and I wouldn't give the writing itself the 4 stars. I think this is a really important message to get out though and I am grateful the author decided to share his story both as a speaker and with this book. It is rare for all of us to get to hear from someone who survived an attempt off the Golden Gate Bridge and I appreciated what he shared about what led him to that point and what might have stopped him.

[Alyssa Petti · Rating 5 out of 5]

If Kevin Hines reads this, thank you. Thank you for sharing your experiences to everyone. As someone who lives with the day to day suicidal ideation; I make the best out of everything I can. After my attempt, almost a year ago, made me realize my purpose in life and I needed to fight everything in my power to stay alive. This book re-inspired me and my purpose in life, especially wanting to be a clinical psychologist. In general, this book is truly amazing and YOU HAVE TO READ IT!

[Nadya · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought the story was thought provoking and showed a bit of what mental illness can mean to families and friends. However, the poor editing was just too much to get over. Last I checked it was Care Bear not Care Bare, and dad not dadl.

[Sara · Rating 2 out of 5]

Incredible story. Some great advice at the end, and throughout. But the book needed serious editing and basic proofreading.

[Jillian · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a very easy read. Every line was able to get you hooked in to the next one. I gave it 3 stars simply because of some of the language in this book. It wasnt totally bad-like every line, it was sporadic, I just personally prefer a cleaner read in the books I choose and didnt finish the read because of that. What I got from it, is that He did however give a clear and precise indication of a person dealing with Mental Illnesses. As a survivor myself, of someone living with Bi Polar Disorder, and having 2 psychotic episodes, I can definately relate with some of the emotions of Kevin and I know when your in that place it feels unbearable. Its amazing that he later became a mental health advocate and is sharing his experience with others. So many people need hope and his personal experiences will help him encourage others. Im glad he has a faith system and pray that God will continue to use him deeper in his testimony of overcoming suicide and mental illness.

[Amy Renkel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book very much. Kevin spoke at my children's school and his story is inspiring. I worked in the mental health field for awhile and am well aware that Bipolar disorder is very difficult to endure. His experiences, thoughts and views are so clear and make it easier to relate to those struggling with this disorder as well as anyone struggling with any mental health issues. He says, "people stared but did not intervene. They may have wondered but never asked, adhering to the old adage "It's not my problem." Or, "it's none of my business." That really struck me! We need to look out for one another!

[Mesa Weidle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kevin has been able to thrive. Being vulnerable about his challenges which can help so many lives! Love the work he is doing and that he has found a purpose after not feeling like he had one. Powerful! ❤️

[Hope Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a heartbreaking, but amazing story!

[Jessica Thompson · Rating 3 out of 5]

“Good journey to you and yours. Stay here. Stay well. Stay alive: I promise that I will do exactly the same” (Hines 166).

[Rachel Wall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent on audio. Kevin is an inspiration.

[Jay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kevin's story is absolutely amazing. This is a must read!

[Josephine Sorrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

At age 19, first time author, Kevin Hines nearly became one of the more than 2,000 people who have jumped to their deaths from the Golden Gate Bridge since it was built in 1937. Instead he became the 26th person known to have survived the 220-foot fall. Due to this, he found a reason for living after years of suffering with little help for his “bipolar disorder 1 with psychotic features.”

Hines a now well-known mental-health advocate, presents a vivid and moving memoir of how he descended into mental breakdown, fought to overcome his demons with the help of family and medical experts, and has made it his “life’s work to educate people all over this great country, and around the globe, to prevent suicide and understand mental illness.” Hines, in harrowingly detail, describes his extreme paranoia, deep depressions, manic highs, hallucinations, and panic attacks. On the other hand, he delivers a heartfelt message to other people who have undergone—or are undergoing—similar mental-health problems

[Lori Zavada · Rating 4 out of 5]

I ordered and read this book when I learned that the author is coming to our city to speak at the local university. He will be here Nov. 18. His story is quite amazing, lucky at best. He survived a leap from the Golden Gate Bridge in a suicide attempt. He now travels, speaks and writes to reach others to help prevent suicide and inspire hope in though he lives with a severe mental illness. Hines' story is compelling and I recommend the read. You have to commend someone for stepping up and reaching out when he/she has big challenges to deal with.

[Alysia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I applaud Kevin Hines for continuing to tell his story and promote awareness of not only suicide, but of mental illness in general. What he survived is unfathomable. That said, I do wish the book would have been edited a little better. At times, it was difficult to follow Kevin’s thought patterns as he told his story. I do hope that his story will continue to inspire and educate people about these issues. I’m glad I read this book.

[Veronica Foley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fantastic book. Kevin has an incredibly inspirational story to tell. He helps with the coping process of losing someone and helps guide you to what you should do if you've ever thought about suicide. He talks about how he still has struggles and gets the help he needs. I am so glad he fought so hard to live after he attempted to take his life. This has quickly become one of my new favorite books. I found myself looking forward to reading it and not wanting to stop.

[Marisa Bovey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kevin Hines has a brave soul and is very honest about his struggle with his mental health. I heard him speak recently at a conference and I found this book to be an enlightening addition to his story.

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely stunning.

[Conni Harness · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent read. Adding to the growing momentum to remove the stigma of mental illness!

[Susan Burke · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's hard to rate a book about a subject as devastating and personal as suicide or suicide attempts. Therefore, I will be brief in my review. This young man is a miracle and his story needs to be read, told and heard. It is not everyday that someone jumps from the "Golden Gate Bridge" and lives to tell about it and his recovery. He is not cured, but his has chosen a path of enlightenment and healing thru faith and self-discovery, one in which all of us can benefit from hearing. Kevin is doing great things with his life today, a wonderful wife, who supports him, but does not coddle him. Who loves him, but loves him enough to allow him to find himself thru a process and a painful journey. At nineteen, Kevin had heard enough voices, felt enough pain, been bullied by the worst kids and raised by the two most irresponsible people imaginable. Two little boys, left alone in a ramshackle apartment fed coca cola and Koolaid, malnourished and abandoned; one would live the other would not. My heart felt the pain and sadness, my brain could not fathom his life. Bi-polar is a real and present danger. Depression is a palpable sickness in today's world. How do we learn more, how do we help others, how do we accept that not everyone was born to be happy and some would hear voices, telling them they are not worthy of living. Kevin inspired me to want to learn more about depression and bipolar disorder as I know some who may be suffering, it is my job to understand the signs and hopefully be a guiding light, rather then one who snuffs off the sickest among us. A good read, a good recommend for anyone who is struggling with mental illness, depression and other manic behaviors.

[Hannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have two reviews of this book.

From a content perspective, this book is awesome and IMPORTANT and I give it 5 stars! I would highly recommend it to anyone whose brain is at odds with living, but especially those who are newly diagnosed with a mental health disorder, or people who are just starting to realize how a mental health disorder has been affecting their life. Hines is honest as fuck and I appreciate the hell out of that. This book isn't a "I survived my suicide attempt and got help and lived happily ever after" story. It's about the reality of living with a chronic illness, where sometimes things go downhill again and therapies that used to work don't work anymore for no reason and you end up back at the bottom and you hate that because you promised last time would be the last time but now it's not. And that sounds awful, but there's so much hope in that. We need role models like Hines to show that surviving and thriving is possible again and again--that there is a way to go on when your happily ever doesn't last forever--that getting well and being well are an ongoing process. What Hines is doing in this book (and in his life) is awesome. I love it.

Okay, next review. From a literary standpoint, I give this book 3 stars. It lacked nuance, and at times Hines seemed to be almost rambling. I can kind of give that a pass as reflecting the nature of mental illness in the text...but I think a stronger organizational structure and some additional editing to tighten up the writing would have made it a more compelling read.

[Kelsie Cortez · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love to read books where I learn about something new. Especially if that “something new” is something serious for members of society. Suicide rates have gone up in the United States as well as other parts of the world (Ireland, the U.K., etc). This story is about a young man who tried to kill himself by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge, which has the most suicide attempts worldwide. Thankfully, he survived, but not without a long road of recovery ahead of him. I learned about suicide, bipolar disorder, and other mental illnesses that people around the world have that we might not know about. This is why we should always be willing to lend an ear, a hand, or a smile because we never know what someone is going through. The only thing I wish was that it was better edited. Other than that, very good personal story.

[Lynne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read #1 of 2020 📚 Kevin's memoir chronicles his experience living with bipolar 1 disorder and surviving a suicide attempt jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. Kevin has been an inspirational motivational speaker and advocate in the field of suicide prevention and mental health care for almost two decades.
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So much of his experience and mentality resonated with me as a person who has loved those suffering from suicidal thoughts, bipolar disorder, and addiction (and in some cases, all three). Having lost my sister-in-law to suicide over ten years ago, I identify with the way Kevin embraces public service and action as a means of healing and grace. Thank you, @kevinhinesstory, for sharing your vulnerability with such strength and directness. You embolden me to be the same in my classroom, and help my students trust their voices -- and lives -- are ALWAYS worth our love.

[Teresa · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a tough book to rate! Kevin Hines is, without a doubt, an amazing man with an amazing story to tell. This being the case, I don't hold him to the same standard to which I would hold a true professional writer. However, the publisher didn't do him any favors by not arranging for a ghost writer, co-author, or at least a good editor. I listened to the audiobook, which Hines reads himself, and I was very surprised with the result, considering that he IS a professional public speaker, and an articulate one at that. Again, I don't think he was given good guidance in the reading, so it is full of awkward word groupings and pauses at odd times. But the power of Hines' story and his heartfelt descriptions of his experiences and his particular type of mental illness are fascinating and educational. The world is blessed to have him out there helping people to BE HERE TOMORROW.

[Sarah Standen · Rating 4 out of 5]

After hearing Kevin Hines’ story years ago, I knew I had to read his book. Cracked, Not Broken is a raw, honest, and inspiring account of his journey from surviving a suicide attempt to learning how to truly live and thrive. Kevin’s vulnerability in sharing both his struggles and his ongoing healing process opened my eyes and helped me better understand the complex realities of mental health and suicide. What stood out most to me was Kevin’s message of hope—how life, even in its most painful moments, is still worth fighting for. His words are a reminder that recovery is not linear, but it is possible, and that compassion—for ourselves and others—can make a world of difference. This book is both heart-wrenching and uplifting, and I highly recommend it to anyone wanting to gain insight into mental health and the resilience of the human spirit.