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319 pages, ebook
First published April 29, 2014
Ninety percent of their sentences begin with “My boyfriend.”This book is a teenaged boy's wet dream, in which girls are predictably stupid, in a school where every single girl is desperate for a boyfriend because of a low male-to-female ratio.
“My boyfriend has the most adorable golden retriever.”
“My boyfriend is taking his driving test next week, and he’s been practicing like a maniac.”
The girls humor me with smiles, then continue their deep conversation. It’s a biological compulsion.
It asks whether a work of fiction features at least two women who talk to each other about something other than a man.This book would almost completely fail that test.

...boys, shoes or our classmates.This book:
I’m just speeding up the inevitable.This book has a pretty cool premise. Becca is a "Break Up Artist." She doesn't believe in love. She hates love. She thinks love only leads to heartbreak and is completely jaded against the idea of love. She thinks that love = weak.
That kid was born to play football, and he knows it. The only thing stopping him is right between that girl’s legs. Excuse my language.”First of all, Becca's not completely neutral in this. She hates Huxley because they were BFFs before Huxley spurned her for another group of friends.
We used to be friends.It's a personal vendetta. It is morally questionable at best, and there's no such thing as neutrality anymore. There's no BIG BAD NO GOOD BOYFRIEND scenario. Steve and Huxley are in love, and completely devoted to each other.
I have to vanquish the evil queen.
“Remember the part at the end, when Harry says to Sally, ‘When you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start now’? That’s how I feel about you. Not the ‘rest of my life’ part. But you are the girl I’ve been searching for. You’re so different and interesting. This may sound crazy, but I can see myself falling in love with you.”P.S. THE GUY? HE'S HER FRIEND'S BOYFRIEND. Get the fuck out of here.
Having a significant other will put any student at Ashland High School on the social radar, and chances are if you’re in a relationship, someone else is talking about it.My god, there must have been something wrong with my high school. We had a school size of around 2000, whereas "Ashland High School" has a student body of 1500, but that's where the similarities end. For one thing everyone cares about relationships in this book. It seems like that's what all the girls talk about. Who gives a fuck about academics, it's about RELATIONSHIPS, DATING, BOYS! And man, the boys have SUCH an advantage.
Ashland High has an overabundance of girls. It’s a sixty-five, thirty-five split. This gives guys a huge advantage. They can be fat, lazy and pimply and still get to be choosy. Finding a suitable guy to date is a study in Darwinism. Survival of the hottest. The options dwindle with each year.And with so few guys available, surely, EVERY SINGLE GIRL MUST WANT A GUY, RIGHT? I mean, my high school was so different. There were people (me! My best friend! My other best friends! Half the fucking school!) who didn't even date in high school. I mean, what the hell?! I mean, it's high school. Who's giving a crap about classes, AP tests, extracurricular activities, sports, volunteering anyway. Clearly high school is all about having a boyfriend or girlfriend. And in such a big school, eeeeeeeveryone knows who's dating who. I mean, they have dating dossiers to keep track of relationship statuses. Everyone gossips. Everyone knows each other's business. My fucking god. Every time a couple breaks up, they make front page news.
His break-up with Bethann was felt throughout the AP hallway, where they had a mini fan club.Mini fan club! For a couple! Are you fucking kidding me?!
One of the biggest joys coupled girls have is giving their single friends dating advice. Just because they lucked out—and it’s luck, nothing more—they believe that makes them dating experts. I’m sure it’s one of the reasons Val worked so hard to land a boyfriend. She’s always wanted to be on the other side of this conversation.They will give up their vegetarianism for a boy.
“Aren’t you a vegetarian?” I ask her.The Shallow Bitches:
“I was, but I’m getting back into red meat.” She rubs Ezra’s thigh. He grabs her fingers and squeezes.
“I need a boy.”Give me a fucking break. All the girls in this school talk about are "boys, shoes, and classmates." Really? I'm sorry, I am female. I know a lot of females. I went to high school. I went to college. Neither me nor my friends ever had entire conversations revolving around nothing but shoes or boys. And I had a friend who was obsessed with Nikes! She collected them, but she never talked about them! We had classes. Family. Friends. We had hobbies. We had funny stories to tell. We laughed together. Rarely did relationship issues ever surface in our conversations. The girls in this book, whether they're book-smart or "slutty" cheerleaders, discuss boys and relationships incessantly. They all want boyfriends. They all keep abreast of who's dating who. They love romance movies with sad endings because they're silly, contradictory girls.
I can’t tell if she wants Ezra, or just a boyfriend. Someone to give her an oversize, inconvenient teddy bear. Val may not know the answer either. Vulnerability and desperation flicker in her eyes.
Why do none of the movies girls at my school love have happy endings? One half of the couple either dies or moves away. But they can’t get enough of those films. Titanic, Shakespeare in Love, Atonement, The Notebook, A Walk to Remember, every other Nicholas Sparks film known to man.They looooooooove Romeo and Juliet, none of them think that it's a silly, shallow love story like the STRONG ANTI-LOVE Becca.
“But there was love at the core. There was something spiritual, some subconscious connection that was pulling them together. It wasn’t logic. You don’t go through all of this for someone you think is so-so.”All the girls are sheep, easily led around by a Queen Bee. Except for the main character. All the girls are cruel, secretly sadistic at heart, wishing for the downfall of a friend.
Ms. Hardwick hops off her desk, happy to have control of her classroom again. “Let’s put it to a class vote. Who thinks Romeo and Juliet were not in love?”
None of them raise their hands.
I always thought girls at Ashland adored Huxley, but I guess she’s like any celebrity. They’re eager to see her fall.Except for the main character. And speaking of...
“Ezra, do you even know what a one-night stand is? Victoria only felt one thing inside her that night, and it wasn’t love.”Oh, I'm sorry. Is there a way a girl is supposed to talk? Meet Becca. Special, special Becca. Becca, who is portrayed to be the only normal fucking person in a school full of idiots. Becca who actually talks like normal people, not like "a girl" and gets attention for it, in comparison to all the other girls, who talk about boys and shoes and are reeking of desperation.
He nods, taken aback by a girl not talking like a girl for a second.
“I kissed Ezra, Val’s boyfriend.”Because it's true. Becca, who portrays her own sister as a pathetic, weakling who's comatose for her lost love. Becca, who maintains her integrity throughout the book...by falling for a creep.
“Are you going to be one of those girls who happily ditches her friends for a guy?”
That leaves a bruise.
“He sounds like a creep,” she says.Becca, who's the biggest hypocritical fucking tool in the world.
“No, he’s a good guy.”
“He’s dating your best friend and openly pursuing you. I don’t have a dictionary on hand, but I’d say that’s a creep.”
“It’s not like that. You don’t understand.” I picture the way Ezra acted with me, so delicate and sweet. He didn’t have a secret agenda.
"My best friend is pushing me away. You don't know what that's like."
I do. I want to tell her. My eyes wander to the floor and the pair of golden ballet slippers next to my desk. It's like a hole through your heart that can never be filled. A part of you that is missing forever.
"People always spout those ridiculous sayings about love. 'You can't control love' or 'they're meant to be.' I think that can also apply to friends."
~Thank you Harlequin Australia for sending me this copy!~
I may not be an angel in all this, but I’m certainly not the bad guy either. If you can’t handle my line of work, then go read the latest bodice ripper. I’ll leave you with this: How many lives have been ruined because of love?Breaking people up for Becca is no big deal. It only takes a few adjustments here, a few scandals there, and viola! Job well done. She knows it is an unhealthy thing yet people (mostly jealous best friends) still pays her to do the job. They think that with their friend hooking up with their boyfriends, they are already forgotten. They are disappearing. And Becca, being a victim of the same thing, understands how hard it feels.
“So, you want me to do this?”After her childhood best friend, Huxley, abandoned her for a popular guy and went on to the path of popularity without her, Becca was devastated. It made her despise the L-word even more. Now, completely living in opposite directions and barely giving any acknowledgements to each other, Becca receives a phone call to break Huxley’s relationship with her boyfriend, Steve. The school’s most famous perfect couple. The JFK and Jackie O in training. The homecoming king and queen. Breaking relationships is no big deal for her, right? Yet, she finds this mission a tumultuous one, considering she has to wiggle herself back into her ex-best friend’s life again.
Calista squeezes a fresh set of tears from her eyes. I instinctively reach for the Kleenex box on my desk, forgetting we’re on Skype. “My best friend is pushing me away. You don’t know what it’s like.”
I do, I want to tell her. […]It’s like a hole through your heart that can never be filled.
Becca is actually a hard character to sum up. There were definitely parts of her personality that I sincerely enjoyed. Other times, I kind of wanted to jump inside this book so I could shout at her. I thought her work as the Break-Up Artist was a little pointless. She came across as a little bitter, jaded and miserable at being single because of it, the exact thing she protested she wasn't. But when she comes out with comments like, 'You don't know what it's like being single in this school.', it does make it look like it is about that. She started out as a very witty character, she had a brilliant personality. Unfortunately, she began to grate on me over time and she got to be a little too annoying.