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Motherhoodwinked - An Infertility Memoir
Born in 1981, shortly after the first IVF baby, Anne-Marie Scully grew up in a world where infertility is a problem everyone assumes can be fixed.
Named for the frustration Anne-Marie felt when realizing that becoming a mother was not a given and that IVF was not a guaranteed 'Plan B', Motherhoodwinked documents the pain and the shame of life as an infertile woman.
But Motherhoodwinked is more than just another trying to conceive memoir, it is an important social commentary on the impact infertility has on the lives of those going through it and how the modern digital age has both helped and hindered the journey.
With heartbreaking honesty Anne-Marie takes us on a journey from her initial optimism and excitement at finally trying for a baby and fulfilling her lifelong dream to become a mother, through to her increasingly complex pregnancy plan, her experiments with holistic therapies, the NaPro program and finally her experience with ICSI and IVF.
Sometimes sad, sometimes laugh out loud funny Motherhoodwinked offers both couples going through infertility and their support networks coping skills for how to survive this lonely journey, that actually affects one in six couples.
Named for the frustration Anne-Marie felt when realizing that becoming a mother was not a given and that IVF was not a guaranteed 'Plan B', Motherhoodwinked documents the pain and the shame of life as an infertile woman.
But Motherhoodwinked is more than just another trying to conceive memoir, it is an important social commentary on the impact infertility has on the lives of those going through it and how the modern digital age has both helped and hindered the journey.
With heartbreaking honesty Anne-Marie takes us on a journey from her initial optimism and excitement at finally trying for a baby and fulfilling her lifelong dream to become a mother, through to her increasingly complex pregnancy plan, her experiments with holistic therapies, the NaPro program and finally her experience with ICSI and IVF.
Sometimes sad, sometimes laugh out loud funny Motherhoodwinked offers both couples going through infertility and their support networks coping skills for how to survive this lonely journey, that actually affects one in six couples.
- GenresMemoir
144 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 6, 2013
1 person is currently reading
110 people want to read
About the author
Anne-Marie Scully
3 books14 followersAnne-Marie Scully is an Irish author and founder of digital publishing company Orchard Wall Publishing.
Motherhoodwinked, her first book, is a memoir documenting her struggle with infertility and IVF. Named for the frustration Anne-Marie felt at finding out that having a baby was not a given, as she had been led to believe since she was a child, Motherhoodwinked documents the pain and the shame of life as an infertile woman.
Anne-Marie holds a BA in English literature from Trinity College Dublin and worked for almost eight years in the online marketing sector of Google before leaving to set up her own company in 2012.
She lives with her husband Micheal in Dublin, Ireland and is still hoping to add motherhood to her biography at some stage in the future.
Motherhoodwinked, her first book, is a memoir documenting her struggle with infertility and IVF. Named for the frustration Anne-Marie felt at finding out that having a baby was not a given, as she had been led to believe since she was a child, Motherhoodwinked documents the pain and the shame of life as an infertile woman.
Anne-Marie holds a BA in English literature from Trinity College Dublin and worked for almost eight years in the online marketing sector of Google before leaving to set up her own company in 2012.
She lives with her husband Micheal in Dublin, Ireland and is still hoping to add motherhood to her biography at some stage in the future.
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
March 14, 2018
This book resonates deeply with me as I too have had infertility issues. Not for two years, but eleven. It was my goal to get married and have children. I wanted four. At first I wanted all girls, but later I knew I really wanted all boys. I came up with names for my hoped-for children, I thought of designs for their nurseries so that their room would grow with them as they grew and changed over the years. I've had countless dreams about giving birth to and raising a child. Sometimes they were bad dreams where I forgot that I had a child and didn't take care of it and it was taken from me. I had good dreams where the child was beautiful and full of laughter.
I've been through so much in this great journey to get pregnant that after four years I gave up. Surgeries, pills, you name it. People say the most insensitive things in hopes of comforting me, yet more-so it feels that I am being brushed off. I have learned not to tell people how I really feel about it, mainly because society doesn't know how to deal with such feelings. I am constantly told I could adopt, or that I am still young and to keep trying, or that it happens when you stop trying. I've been told to buy a new car, or a house, because that is when it happened for them. I've been told "it'll happen when you least expect it to." Trust me, none of those things worked for me and now I feel irrationally upset when people say them.
I've suffered one single event that can embarrassingly be passed off as a chemical pregnancy.
Honestly, I feel betrayed by my body.
I took loads of pregnancy tests in the beginning. I've only done one in the past five years.
I have come to the point in my life where I hope I don't get pregnant now. The grief and pain have been too much of a struggle (and it is easier to think this way) over the years, and I reached a fork in the road where either I continue to let it consume me or I embrace my lack of motherhood and live my life as I should have to begin with.
It is still difficult for me to be around kids, to watch commercials with kids in them (especially newborns), to watch youtube videos or AFV if kids are in them. I can't look at baby clothes without feeling extremely jealous of the person I am purchasing them for. I get hysterical visiting a new mother in the hospital and bawl my eyes out before going in. None of that has improved for me, but at least now I can cope with it better (at least in public).
I have a wonderful husband who is understanding and kind and who swears that kids are not a deal breaker for him. I have had moments I've resented him for not eating right, or not doing all in his power to make sure his side is upheld, although I did and still try to do. But they are only moments, and I know that I could not get through any of this without him.
In the end, I find solace in knowing that I am not alone.
Thank you for your book. I hope it was therapeutic for you. I wish you all the best in your endeavors and I hope the white rabbit remains a symbol of love and hope for you and your husband. :)
Edited March 13, 2018: It seems motherhood was not for me as I had cancer rapidly forming in my uterus and had a hysterectomy last year. Indeed, a hormonal imbalance did contribute toward this issue. While no one has told me so, I have deduced via much research that soy in its various forms was detrimental in my situation. By saying so, I hope this helps others. xx (Original read and review date: Nov. 3, 2014)
I've been through so much in this great journey to get pregnant that after four years I gave up. Surgeries, pills, you name it. People say the most insensitive things in hopes of comforting me, yet more-so it feels that I am being brushed off. I have learned not to tell people how I really feel about it, mainly because society doesn't know how to deal with such feelings. I am constantly told I could adopt, or that I am still young and to keep trying, or that it happens when you stop trying. I've been told to buy a new car, or a house, because that is when it happened for them. I've been told "it'll happen when you least expect it to." Trust me, none of those things worked for me and now I feel irrationally upset when people say them.
I've suffered one single event that can embarrassingly be passed off as a chemical pregnancy.
Honestly, I feel betrayed by my body.
I took loads of pregnancy tests in the beginning. I've only done one in the past five years.
I have come to the point in my life where I hope I don't get pregnant now. The grief and pain have been too much of a struggle (and it is easier to think this way) over the years, and I reached a fork in the road where either I continue to let it consume me or I embrace my lack of motherhood and live my life as I should have to begin with.
It is still difficult for me to be around kids, to watch commercials with kids in them (especially newborns), to watch youtube videos or AFV if kids are in them. I can't look at baby clothes without feeling extremely jealous of the person I am purchasing them for. I get hysterical visiting a new mother in the hospital and bawl my eyes out before going in. None of that has improved for me, but at least now I can cope with it better (at least in public).
I have a wonderful husband who is understanding and kind and who swears that kids are not a deal breaker for him. I have had moments I've resented him for not eating right, or not doing all in his power to make sure his side is upheld, although I did and still try to do. But they are only moments, and I know that I could not get through any of this without him.
In the end, I find solace in knowing that I am not alone.
Thank you for your book. I hope it was therapeutic for you. I wish you all the best in your endeavors and I hope the white rabbit remains a symbol of love and hope for you and your husband. :)
Edited March 13, 2018: It seems motherhood was not for me as I had cancer rapidly forming in my uterus and had a hysterectomy last year. Indeed, a hormonal imbalance did contribute toward this issue. While no one has told me so, I have deduced via much research that soy in its various forms was detrimental in my situation. By saying so, I hope this helps others. xx (Original read and review date: Nov. 3, 2014)
February 5, 2015
This isn't an easy read solely because of the subject matter, but it is well written, informative and goes through all the feelings (even the ones that make you feel terrible) you experience if you can't conceive. The author was very honest and I found it impossible not to have empathy with what she was going through - her circumstances are different from my own, but the feelings, the despair, the self-loathing when you realise that you might never be able to have a child is kinda universal, I think.
I was looking for something that would let me know some of the things I feel are normal, and this was it and for that, I'm grateful.
I was looking for something that would let me know some of the things I feel are normal, and this was it and for that, I'm grateful.
April 5, 2014
This book had me hooked. As someone who has gone through the same feelings and situations as Ms. Scully, I was unable to put down a book that so wholeheartedly captured my feelings. It finally felt like I had a friend, an ally, in the process. There were a few times I actually had to put the book down for fear of starting to cry, but I would always pick it back up again. I think the emotions I felt reading her book are a testament to how well she told her story.
I wish I could thank her personally for writing this. It's made me feel less alone during this process.
I wish I could thank her personally for writing this. It's made me feel less alone during this process.
December 31, 2014
What I needed right now
This book is exactly what I needed right now. My husband and I have been trying for a while with no success or results and we know that we cannot afford the plethora of options out there. I needed to know that others have struggled with infertility and my feelings towards friends and family are normal. Thank you Anne-Marie Scully. I highly recommend this book if you are struggling with infertility or childlessness.
This book is exactly what I needed right now. My husband and I have been trying for a while with no success or results and we know that we cannot afford the plethora of options out there. I needed to know that others have struggled with infertility and my feelings towards friends and family are normal. Thank you Anne-Marie Scully. I highly recommend this book if you are struggling with infertility or childlessness.
January 26, 2020
An amazing book
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. A hidden treasure for those struggling with fertility or curious on the difficulties couples may face with fertility. I would highly recommend this book. Thank you!
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. A hidden treasure for those struggling with fertility or curious on the difficulties couples may face with fertility. I would highly recommend this book. Thank you!
January 1, 2024
This made my fertility journey seem less lonely. To know there are others going thru and feeling the same things you feel helps in a way.
February 18, 2015
I loved every word. Some were heartbreaking, but I love that it's such a real encounter of what infertile couples go through. It was like all of my thoughts and feelings were written down.
September 10, 2015
Though I enjoyed the story oresented, I could not really connect with the narrator. She seemed removed and distant.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews