Imaginary Beings

by DorianStray

How to find happiness when you see yourself as emotionally crippled, hellishly lonely and trapped in something you can't name.

Genres: M M Romance, Romance, Contemporary

Unknown Binding

First published September 3, 2011

About the author

Historically, some time ago, the likes of me died tragic lonely deaths in grisly insane asylums. Lunatic poets, things in their heads more real - and so much more interesting - than the world around them. And no one truly understood.

That's the darkly romantic view. In cynical reality, I'm twenty-something, a student (although I have yet to discover the actual point of my studies), a bit of a freak and rather proud of it (whenever being a bit of a freak doesn't mean having to seek medical attention), a passionate writer, a sworn theatre/movie/music/arts/culture enthusiast. A weirdly clueless perfectionist (I never know when a minor failure drives me crazy and when I just laugh my head off at it). An introverted awkward moron, really. Far too ambitious and starry-eyed and thirsting for brilliant things. Stupid and soppy. Self-ironic, but only when it can't disturb my blissful self-pity.

Of course, I can also be the sun-shiniest of people. Overjoyed when I find a perfect tin box of biscuits (seriously, it had Scottish Terriers on it!) or eat pizza or see a tight-rope walker or hear a fantastic song I've never heard before or a duck quacks at me at the park or something just clicks in my head and I know the exact words to describe something. I can go around sighing and swooning because everything is just so beautiful. Or I can sit in my flat sobbing like an idiot because nothing is beautiful at all. Sometimes I'm balanced and together, too.

Reviews

[Rosalinda *KRASNORADA*]

I can't rate this book, I just can't.

I loved some parts of the story, specially the first half but I didn't really understand Dolph towards the end and he got on my nerves sooooo many times, specially during the last 5 chapters.

I loved the writing style and the premise of the book is great, I understand why so many readers love this one but for some reason Dolph's internal dialogue (I say this with all due respect) was too much for me. I know there are lots of Dolphs in real life and I appreciate they don't have it easy so please don't hate me.

I must say I didn't get Tristan when I started the book. However the author made me change my mind because one of the best things about this book is definitely him. I wish there were more Tristans in real life.

Also, the funny parts were hilarious! I love the author's sense of humour 🤓

[Irina Elena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jesus fucking Christ. This was – intense, gorgeous, painful, real.
To be honest, I could use the whole slew of adjectives we use in reviews to describe a really good read, but I'm just going to say that this one hit a little bit harder, dug a little bit deeper, cut a little bit more sharply.
I could also pick the story apart and praise the writing for its sheer beauty, smooth descriptiveness and ability to convey the protagonist's feelings so very tangibly, the author for their choice of setting, which includes people and places and jobs and situations and the theatre and sidewalks and fairy gardens and Christmas dinners and New Years' parties, the cast – yes, directly them, because I swear to God they exist – for their sharply drawn personalities and colourful ways and meanness and magic; but it's kind of useless, isn't it, because it's all been said before, by me and by others, about all sorts of books. Instead I'll say that this book is about a lot of things, but if I had to choose two of them – no, I can't pick one – I'd say it's about love (the good and the bad) and coming to terms with yourself (the good and the bad).
I could say that I read all 100,000 words and change in one day, but it's not like I haven't done that before.
I could say that I told my grandma to shut the fuck up for a damn second, I'm trying to read – but it's not like I haven't done that before. (I am a horrible, horrible person.)
What could maybe, leave an impression on you, is the fact that I cried – and I've only cried while reading seven books in my entire life (the last three HP books, TFiOS, Please Ignore Vera Dietz, This Is All and Kaleidoscope – a sterek fanfic couldn't not be in the list – which are essentially books where people die. And nobody even dies here, so there's that).
- I've been a weepy mess lately, and I don't know if it's because I'm on my period or because I've been reading powerful and heartbreaking and stupidly beautiful stories, but in a weird way it feels kinda good -
And I also laughed, smiled (euphorically and giddily and sweetly and sadly and bitterly) and cursed and just sat there clutching my ereader in a death grip and squinting with a knot in my throat, desperately trying to keep from screaming at the people around me because they didn't get what I was going through with Dolph.

So I finished this, and then I wrote this review, and then I went and watched three fucking episodes of Rizzoli & Isles because I couldn't take it and had to escape from it – the weight of all this emotion, the pain and the joy.
Next time, I'm going to finish it at four in the morning and spend the first hours of pink-grey light when people are barely starting to stir gorging myself on biscuits and milk (which this time I did while reading because I needed physical comfort) and being emo and lonely and depressed, and maybe I'm going to get what Dolph got for being emo and lonely and depressed. Okay, now I'm just being a bitch.

Gwen – “a metric ton of angst” sounds about right. Thank you.

[Lori · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my....I have no words. I adored every word.Thank you Suki Fleet for recommending this story, it was as amazing as you said. Review previously at BMBR.

So - no cover image, no proper blurb? What the flippety fiddely's going on here? I'll tell you what, this is not an actual published (in the conventional or ebook sense) novel, it's a novel written at fiction press. Which means it is 100% absolutely free. This was recommended to me by Suki Fleet and I have to say it is better than many of the novels I've bought and read this year.

Although it has an HEA the content isn't always the happiest - it's emotional...emotionally quite dark in places, yet I loved every word. There was something very familiar, almost nostalgic about this. When I thought about it I felt it had echoes of mid-nineties, British indy films. I'm not thinking of any one specifically, just that general feeling and vibe those films had.

In this book we follow Dolph, both in the present and flashbacks to his life four years prior to the current day. It's basically a love story. A proper, grab-your-heart-and-don't-let-go, love story. Or to be more accurate, how did I fuck things up story. It's about Dolph's conscience and guilt and those freaking crappy decisions we all make. The ones that make sense to nobody but you when you're a teen with an inferiority complex and little self worth. It makes Dolph sound like a drip - oh, but he isn't. He was witty and sharp and a fantastic actor. At times I wanted to slap him...but only because I can remember feeling that way at eighteen. Who these days is really brave enough to write about proper self doubt? The kind that the character really and truly believes? The kind that isn't just there for lip service? DorienStray does. Dolph and Tristan are two of my favourite ever characters now. I honestly love them.

All the characters are fantastic in this. The setting is fantastic. The writing is fantastic. The flashbacks...yep, they're fantastic. It teases you with information. Drip feeds you it. A bit here, a bit there, pulls you into the story, makes you care about the characters more than you want to. Drip. Drip. Drip. Keep reading because you can't put the bloody thing down even if it is nearly getting up time.

There are flaws, the odd grammatical error - I assure you I didn't care at all. I'm quite sure I loved the story enough to have overlooked pretty much anything, the ones that were there felt relatively minor to me. It didn't interrupt the story arc or characterisation. I have no idea of the author's actual identity, but I really, really hope she/he has gone on to have a writing career, because otherwise it is a huge waste of talent - in my very humble opinion. Do yourself a favour and delve into this story - you have nothing to lose, it is free.

[Mónica BQ · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's 4:07 am. I have to get up for work in a couple of hours. That should tell you how devastatingly good this was.

Thank you Suki Fleet for the recommendation.

[Suki Fleet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another of my all time favorites. I read this on fictionpress as it was being published and it is just such an amazing rollercoaster of emotions. I cried, I smiled, I loved the characters. I wish I could buy it as an actual paperback book so it could sit proudly on my bookshelf.

A very, very affecting love story, and one I cannot recommend enough!

Suki Fleet

[Trix · Rating 3 out of 5]

So... hard rating. I'll settle for 3 stars overall.

I understand Dolph’s pain. I understand I was meant to feel his anguish, understand his crippling fear and accept that breaking up with Tristan was the only solution. Because Dolph was too scared to disrespect his parents and because separating himself from the love of his life was the most tragic thing that could happen to him, which would in turn feed his fears and predisposition... a never ending cycle or cause and effect. But I was too rational. I knew his decision had been the wrong one, so I couldn’t sympathise with his feelings of loss and hurt. He brought it on himself. It was punishment. It angered me even more that Tristan suffered because of it also. I understood Dolph's condition but I couldn't accept it as excuse and justification for everything he did. He was guilty for half the shit that happened between him and Tristan. And he should have pushed himself to try a bit harder and see what could come of their relationship. I've had those weak moments myself but at one point, you decide to pick yourself up, you decide to risk it, you decide to brave it out and see if your worst fears will to come to pass or not. The fact that it took Dolph 5 years... and countless attempts from Tristan to patch things up... angered me. I failed to see what in Dolph made everything worth while.

Another thing that made this difficult to enjoy and hard to relate to the emotions was the writing style. It wasn't just that, at times, this butted heads with what I would have done. But that I had to re-read a paragraph a couple of times before I could grasp the meaning behind the words. It took all my concentration to translate the feelings behind entire passages that seem to make no sense, to have no beginning or end, just strings of words.

So overall... where I was able to resonate with the feelings behind the words, they were quite powerful and moving. And I commiserated with Dolph and Tristan over their almost star crossed destiny. And I was relieved at the sudden change that allowed for the happily ever after. But outside that, I felt like a spectator, calmly and dispassionately watching in at the drama of a couple.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to Antonella for her recommendation. The author seems to have stopped writing, or could be writing under another pen name. There's so much talent here, and I would love to see this story re-edited and professionally published. I can see how the editing could be painful — there are so many beautiful passages — but an artful scalpel could take this to a higher level, and it's already quite high. Yes, this is an ansgt-fest. And despite wanting to slap some sense into Dolph on more than one occasion, I couldn't help but wish the best for him and for Tristan. Both MCs and their friends are lovingly drawn and engaging. Their young-artist college days are beautifully described. Not even Dolph's chronic bouts of self-doubt, or his skewed interpretations of the past, can fully diminish the joy he and Tristan found in their friendship, and in each other. Dolph takes a very long time getting to genuine self-realization, but that's kind of the point. I'm also wishing the best for the author, who appears to have gone on to other things.

[Borderstar · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars

This was... wow pretty intense. Some of this was hard to read, as it came a bit close to personal experience with anxiety and depression - it makes me wonder whether the author may have some personal experience here too to be able to write some of this? It seemed very real to me at times. So I enjoyed it in a rather depressing way - although never fear, there is a HEA eventually!

There are quite a lot of time jumps backwards and forwards and even when we are reading about Dolph & Tristan when they meet and have a relationship, you can't feel happy and fully enjoy it as you have a dark shadow in the back of your mind as you know that something went horribly wrong...but it is unfolded really slowly over the course of the book to add to the tension.

I did shout at my ereader numerous times that Dolph needed to get his head out of his arse, but at the same time I could sympathise with what he was going through. I did love the characters, and couldn't help but love Tristan having seen him through Dolph's eyes - the setting was great too.

This is definitely not a light read, so I had to be in the mood to read this or would have been too much dark emotion, too much angst. But I did enjoy this and would look for more by this author.

[Antonella · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great story, if you don't mind angst. I liked the writing and the setting. I wonder why it hasn't been read by more people: it is superior to many published books I bought. Also the flashbacks are well done and reveal slowly the past.

I wonder what is the author doing now. She/He is really talented, but apparently didn't finish her/his other two fics, so I won't even start them.

[Jade · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing. I'm kind of surprised more people haven't read this.