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It's Hard for Me to Live with Me: A Memoir
A powerful memoir from the University of Kentucky basketball legend, NBA veteran, and social media influencer about his recovery from addiction.
He is considered by many the greatest basketball player ever produced by the hoops-crazy state of Kentucky. In two years at the University of Kentucky, he scored over 1,000 points, led the Wildcats to a Sweet Sixteen appearance and was nicknamed “King Rex.” The first player ever drafted by the Charlotte Hornets, he spent twelve seasons in the NBA, dazzling in dunk contests and sinking one of the most memorable buzzer-beaters in league history. But by the end of his career, Rex Chapman was harboring a destructive secret.
Years before America’s opioid crisis would become national news, Chapman developed a dependency on Vicodin and Oxycontin, ultimately ingesting fifty painkillers a day. In addition, he developed a severe gambling addiction, once nearly losing $400,000 at a Las Vegas blackjack table. All this would cost him his family as well as most of the $40 million fortune he’d made in basketball, leaving him to live in his car and shoplift to support his addictions. Only when he was arrested—and his mugshot made national news—did he finally commit to getting clean.
In It’s Hard for Me to Live With Me, Chapman—who has amassed millions of social media followers for his relatable and uplifting posts—tells the story of his addiction and recovery in unflinching detail. With equal frankness, he describes his history with depression; the racism he witnessed growing up and how that shaped his outspokenness on matters of social justice; and his complex and volatile relationship with his father, also a former professional basketball player. Cowritten with New York Times bestselling author Seth Davis, Chapman’s memoir is an equally devastating and inspiring story about the human struggle for self-acceptance.
He is considered by many the greatest basketball player ever produced by the hoops-crazy state of Kentucky. In two years at the University of Kentucky, he scored over 1,000 points, led the Wildcats to a Sweet Sixteen appearance and was nicknamed “King Rex.” The first player ever drafted by the Charlotte Hornets, he spent twelve seasons in the NBA, dazzling in dunk contests and sinking one of the most memorable buzzer-beaters in league history. But by the end of his career, Rex Chapman was harboring a destructive secret.
Years before America’s opioid crisis would become national news, Chapman developed a dependency on Vicodin and Oxycontin, ultimately ingesting fifty painkillers a day. In addition, he developed a severe gambling addiction, once nearly losing $400,000 at a Las Vegas blackjack table. All this would cost him his family as well as most of the $40 million fortune he’d made in basketball, leaving him to live in his car and shoplift to support his addictions. Only when he was arrested—and his mugshot made national news—did he finally commit to getting clean.
In It’s Hard for Me to Live With Me, Chapman—who has amassed millions of social media followers for his relatable and uplifting posts—tells the story of his addiction and recovery in unflinching detail. With equal frankness, he describes his history with depression; the racism he witnessed growing up and how that shaped his outspokenness on matters of social justice; and his complex and volatile relationship with his father, also a former professional basketball player. Cowritten with New York Times bestselling author Seth Davis, Chapman’s memoir is an equally devastating and inspiring story about the human struggle for self-acceptance.
271 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 27, 2024
119 people are currently reading
994 people want to read
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November 26, 2024
It’s Hard for Me to Live with Me is a memoir by Rex Chapman, a former NBA player and college basketball star at Kentucky.
Considering my love of basketball, I’m pretty surprised how little I knew about Rex Chapman before reading this. I enjoyed hearing his story — Rex grew up in Kentucky, a state full of racial tension, and was not immune to receiving frequent unsolicited comments about dating a Black woman. Rex played college basketball at Kentucky before moving on to the NBA. He was drafted by the Charlotte Hornets in 1988 then played for a few other teams, though he was plagued by various injuries throughout his professional basketball career.
Rex became addicted to opioids, initially prescribed to ease the pain of an injury, which impacted his personal life, as a husband and a dad to 4 children. He became addicted to gambling too, and details his challenges in overcoming both addictions, spending time in rehab, and getting his life back on track.
I appreciated Rex’s honesty and accountability in sharing his story and am glad he’s in a position now to do so. Rex narrates the audiobook of It’s Hard for Me to Live with Me and I enjoyed listening to it.
Considering my love of basketball, I’m pretty surprised how little I knew about Rex Chapman before reading this. I enjoyed hearing his story — Rex grew up in Kentucky, a state full of racial tension, and was not immune to receiving frequent unsolicited comments about dating a Black woman. Rex played college basketball at Kentucky before moving on to the NBA. He was drafted by the Charlotte Hornets in 1988 then played for a few other teams, though he was plagued by various injuries throughout his professional basketball career.
Rex became addicted to opioids, initially prescribed to ease the pain of an injury, which impacted his personal life, as a husband and a dad to 4 children. He became addicted to gambling too, and details his challenges in overcoming both addictions, spending time in rehab, and getting his life back on track.
I appreciated Rex’s honesty and accountability in sharing his story and am glad he’s in a position now to do so. Rex narrates the audiobook of It’s Hard for Me to Live with Me and I enjoyed listening to it.
February 28, 2024
This book is an intimate look at a remarkable athlete, his successes and his life-altering battle with substance abuse. Rex Chapman, one of the greatest and best-liked basketball players in college and NBA history, has written an unvarnished and raw account of his struggles with addiction and gambling, and how he emerged from those to reclaim his life.
For basketball fans, the book is a must read. It takes us inside the very highest levels of the sport, and, with unvarnished and blunt language, offers unqiue and entertaining insights. For anyone struggling with addiction or has a loved one doing so, the book is a potential lifeline. Chapman's journey from the top of his world to the dark, lonely bottom and back out is told with honesty, intelligence and humanity.
I found this book hard to put down, and it feels like it will also be hard to forget.
For basketball fans, the book is a must read. It takes us inside the very highest levels of the sport, and, with unvarnished and blunt language, offers unqiue and entertaining insights. For anyone struggling with addiction or has a loved one doing so, the book is a potential lifeline. Chapman's journey from the top of his world to the dark, lonely bottom and back out is told with honesty, intelligence and humanity.
I found this book hard to put down, and it feels like it will also be hard to forget.
March 7, 2024
Did I just fall in love with Rex Chapman?
I had no idea Rex Chapman was almost a Louisville Cardinal! How I wonder what Chapman's life would be like now if he wasn't lured by the legendary Wildcat Lodge and was coached in college by Denny Crum. I was a freshman in high school when Chapman was at UK. What a walk down memory lane, hearing how Jimmy V and Dean Smith recruited him (perhaps my favorite era of college basketball). Getting a bit more of a behind the scenes with UK donors and Eddy Sutton was also interesting. Hearing him reference Center City Condos, 3’s, Keeneland, and Two Keys ...Lexington memories.
As a devoted University of Louisville fan (which means I am crazy invested and moderately psychotic about this rivalry) I pretty much loath everything associated with BBN. One reason is because I have always been painfully aware of the overt racism at UK. That Chapman was pressured not to date black women (WTF), probably the love of his life, haunts him and is one of my biggest issues with the school and its supporters. When guys who are black play for BBN I can’t believe they are willing (and want to) wear the colors of such a racist fan base. Not all fans by any means (and often folks who were never even students) but folks, a CRAZY amount of the fan base is insanely racist! This has always blown my mind. And then I see Jay Z at games and I am shaking my head. Rex standing up to that kind of pressure, takes enormous guts. I don’t think you can understand it if you haven’t grown up in that insane basketball culture.
It wasn't a bit surprising to hear donors were lining the players pockets, providing cars, etc. NCAA violations were rampant throughout any basketball powerhouse in the 90s. There is a reason there is a saying among Kentucky players, "taking a pay cut to play in the NBA". This was life growing up in Kentucky and let me tell you, basketball is big business. The minute I moved to the state in second grade my education began. Everyone watches basketball.
Shut up! Chapman was Steph Curry's babysitter! "Little did we know, the best player in the car was sitting in the baby seat". We walk to games at The Chase Center. He was just pulling on my heart strings at this point.
Though the basketball was what sucked me into Chapman's story, the real meat is in documenting his momentous downfall (that had shades of Demon Copperhead) a la opioids and horse racing. It doesn’t get more Kentucky than that. The mother of Chapman’s kids, Chapman’s ex wife, Bridgette, deserves some sort of medal! He is I am sure, grateful but that woman is a saint for keeping things afloat while his life was in shambles. Bridgette raised 5 kids not 4. Kentucky has been greatly affected by the opioid epidemic and Chapman has dedicated his second act to helping those who are on the front lines of this battle. I am thankful he was open about both how he became addicted, his ADHD, and his legal marijuana use. It’s a damn shame Kentucky has not legalized marijuana for a million reasons. Chapman was also transparent about the disparity of justice in the legal system depending on race. I saw this time and again growing up.
All and all, this was seriously one of my most enjoyable reads in a long time which I guess tells you I am still a Kentucky (Louisville 😜) girl at heart.
I had no idea Rex Chapman was almost a Louisville Cardinal! How I wonder what Chapman's life would be like now if he wasn't lured by the legendary Wildcat Lodge and was coached in college by Denny Crum. I was a freshman in high school when Chapman was at UK. What a walk down memory lane, hearing how Jimmy V and Dean Smith recruited him (perhaps my favorite era of college basketball). Getting a bit more of a behind the scenes with UK donors and Eddy Sutton was also interesting. Hearing him reference Center City Condos, 3’s, Keeneland, and Two Keys ...Lexington memories.
As a devoted University of Louisville fan (which means I am crazy invested and moderately psychotic about this rivalry) I pretty much loath everything associated with BBN. One reason is because I have always been painfully aware of the overt racism at UK. That Chapman was pressured not to date black women (WTF), probably the love of his life, haunts him and is one of my biggest issues with the school and its supporters. When guys who are black play for BBN I can’t believe they are willing (and want to) wear the colors of such a racist fan base. Not all fans by any means (and often folks who were never even students) but folks, a CRAZY amount of the fan base is insanely racist! This has always blown my mind. And then I see Jay Z at games and I am shaking my head. Rex standing up to that kind of pressure, takes enormous guts. I don’t think you can understand it if you haven’t grown up in that insane basketball culture.
It wasn't a bit surprising to hear donors were lining the players pockets, providing cars, etc. NCAA violations were rampant throughout any basketball powerhouse in the 90s. There is a reason there is a saying among Kentucky players, "taking a pay cut to play in the NBA". This was life growing up in Kentucky and let me tell you, basketball is big business. The minute I moved to the state in second grade my education began. Everyone watches basketball.
Shut up! Chapman was Steph Curry's babysitter! "Little did we know, the best player in the car was sitting in the baby seat". We walk to games at The Chase Center. He was just pulling on my heart strings at this point.
Though the basketball was what sucked me into Chapman's story, the real meat is in documenting his momentous downfall (that had shades of Demon Copperhead) a la opioids and horse racing. It doesn’t get more Kentucky than that. The mother of Chapman’s kids, Chapman’s ex wife, Bridgette, deserves some sort of medal! He is I am sure, grateful but that woman is a saint for keeping things afloat while his life was in shambles. Bridgette raised 5 kids not 4. Kentucky has been greatly affected by the opioid epidemic and Chapman has dedicated his second act to helping those who are on the front lines of this battle. I am thankful he was open about both how he became addicted, his ADHD, and his legal marijuana use. It’s a damn shame Kentucky has not legalized marijuana for a million reasons. Chapman was also transparent about the disparity of justice in the legal system depending on race. I saw this time and again growing up.
All and all, this was seriously one of my most enjoyable reads in a long time which I guess tells you I am still a Kentucky (Louisville 😜) girl at heart.
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April 27, 2024This is probably a must-read for Kentucky basketball fans. Very interesting look inside the Sutton era, plus some great Cal and Pitino stories and the story behind the famous “Cal to the Lakers” tweet.
Chapman tells his own story with honesty and humility.
Chapman tells his own story with honesty and humility.
May 26, 2024
This is a book that Kentucky fans will both love and hate. The guy is a total mess. It seems like the book was released this year as another media attempt to talk about the evils of Donald Trump. For a guy who blew through 40 millions dollars, was a terrible father, husband and drug addict it is weird that the book finishes with him casting stones and lauding Joe Biden. It’s a hard read to see someone who is so narcissistic talk about other narcissists . It’s interesting in some areas and terrible in others . He has landed on his feet despite all of his issues. I’m not sure he ever really accepts his problems began and end with himself. Lot of people get run over in his quest for self discovery.
March 28, 2024
Despite being a few years younger than Rex, I don't remember when he played basketball, but then again, didn't really pay attention to that. I first found Rex on Twitter, was around when he blew up over the dolphin block or charge tweet. Since then through his tweets, I've learned a lot about him, both good and bad and he is still one of the best follows. When I heard he had a book coming out, I wanted to check it out, even convinced my library to get the audio book.
I liked how frank Rex is in the book, but that doesn't surprise me. Often trolls on Twitter will think they have him in some big gotcha moment and post his mug shot at him and he right away says, yep that is/was me. I did that and now I'm better, have moved on.
It was interesting to see how Rex moved through the basketball world, from a kid, to college, to the Pro's to working in the office of Pro's and then nothing. Interesting to see where he ran into problems and how those problems made him make other choices that maybe weren't good at the time, to hitting rock bottom and getting out of that. Overall Rex seems happy now, something that has seemed to illude him for a long time, so that is good, I hope he can stay there.
I liked how frank Rex is in the book, but that doesn't surprise me. Often trolls on Twitter will think they have him in some big gotcha moment and post his mug shot at him and he right away says, yep that is/was me. I did that and now I'm better, have moved on.
It was interesting to see how Rex moved through the basketball world, from a kid, to college, to the Pro's to working in the office of Pro's and then nothing. Interesting to see where he ran into problems and how those problems made him make other choices that maybe weren't good at the time, to hitting rock bottom and getting out of that. Overall Rex seems happy now, something that has seemed to illude him for a long time, so that is good, I hope he can stay there.
April 1, 2024
Although the writing of this was not great, it was definitely a page turner (obviously, since I read in one day). As a grown woman who has spent her entire life following Kentucky basketball, some of this was even hard to read. At any rate, Rex Chapman is brutally honest about all the choices that led him to ultimately being an opioid addict. He did not shy away from the illegal activities that were done for his benefit, but he also took major responsibility for his actions. This was in no way a blame game.
One of the pieces I especially appreciated was one of his many demons that haunted him was how he had not used his platform to speak out against the systemic racism he saw at every level of his career, mostly in higher ups wanting him to hide his relationship with his black girlfriend. His turning point happened during the pandemic. He stated, “Like so many Americans, I sit at home, quarantining from the virus, watching it unfold with disgust (re: George Floyd’s murder and subsequent protests). The difference is have a platform now. I am a former professional athlete and a social media influencer, whatever that means. All my life, I have chickened out because I was afraid of losing everything But as the Bob Dylan lyric goes, "When you got nothin, yo got nothin' to lose." It is time to make myself heard” (Chapman 230).
Ultimately, this memoir explores how a boy from Owensboro, Kentucky gets a chance at his dreams. He plays for UK, is a star, and has a very successful NBA career. This creates a life of excess that just promotes his addictive personality as he strives for more with women, drugs, and gambling. It’s a heartfelt tribute at times to those that were so supportive of him even in his darkest times. Chapman ended up a survivor and he did not lose his family and friends.
One of the pieces I especially appreciated was one of his many demons that haunted him was how he had not used his platform to speak out against the systemic racism he saw at every level of his career, mostly in higher ups wanting him to hide his relationship with his black girlfriend. His turning point happened during the pandemic. He stated, “Like so many Americans, I sit at home, quarantining from the virus, watching it unfold with disgust (re: George Floyd’s murder and subsequent protests). The difference is have a platform now. I am a former professional athlete and a social media influencer, whatever that means. All my life, I have chickened out because I was afraid of losing everything But as the Bob Dylan lyric goes, "When you got nothin, yo got nothin' to lose." It is time to make myself heard” (Chapman 230).
Ultimately, this memoir explores how a boy from Owensboro, Kentucky gets a chance at his dreams. He plays for UK, is a star, and has a very successful NBA career. This creates a life of excess that just promotes his addictive personality as he strives for more with women, drugs, and gambling. It’s a heartfelt tribute at times to those that were so supportive of him even in his darkest times. Chapman ended up a survivor and he did not lose his family and friends.
June 20, 2024
I was a freshman with Chapman & had heard all of the stories surrounding him and the UK program. I always swore Casey was the scapegoat—seems like I’m not the only one who believes that.
I loved this memoir—I’ve followed Chapman’s career and I love that he has overcome so many adversities.
This book candidly describes his journey. The book is written in a conversational style—jumps abruptly at times but that reflects the mind of Rex Chapman.
A great book for basketball fans and Kentucky fans especially. Also, a book that shows the goodness of people and the importance of second chances and redemption.
I loved this memoir—I’ve followed Chapman’s career and I love that he has overcome so many adversities.
This book candidly describes his journey. The book is written in a conversational style—jumps abruptly at times but that reflects the mind of Rex Chapman.
A great book for basketball fans and Kentucky fans especially. Also, a book that shows the goodness of people and the importance of second chances and redemption.
December 11, 2024
I like memoirs but don’t understand sports, lots of names referenced that were prob impressive
March 7, 2024
I wasn't a big Rex Chapman fan when he played at Kentucky and in the NBA. Yet, i was a good ball player. It was sad to read about choices he made throughout his life and how it affect him personally and those he loved. It positive to see him working to right his choices and his desire to be a good father and person. I didn't care much for his political views. I don't think those are particularly important or needed in the book. Anyway, I enjoyed the book.
March 4, 2024
I came to Rex Chapman through his happy twitter feed, which I very much appreciated throughout the pandemic, and so I knew his story, at least in broad brush strokes. I was looking forward to reading his own telling of his story because I've heard him speak very candidly about his struggles before.
For the purpose of hearing Chapman in his own words, I enjoyed this quick read. However, the whole thing felt very rushed and pretty surface. I would have liked more detail on all of it. Chapman lands on some super important topics like substance abuse of course, but also athlete mental health, the way college athletes are treated, and race, but they all feel pretty brushed over.
The book also needs an edit. There are repeating sentences in a number of places, and again, evidence that it was rushed to publication.
For the purpose of hearing Chapman in his own words, I enjoyed this quick read. However, the whole thing felt very rushed and pretty surface. I would have liked more detail on all of it. Chapman lands on some super important topics like substance abuse of course, but also athlete mental health, the way college athletes are treated, and race, but they all feel pretty brushed over.
The book also needs an edit. There are repeating sentences in a number of places, and again, evidence that it was rushed to publication.
March 21, 2024
I love basketball and personal redemption. And this is a story about both. But, moreover, it’s a story that deserves attention for neither of the above.
Addiction in its many forms is highly stigmatized in this country, and therefore not regarded as the serious physical and mental health challenge it poses. This memoir of the struggle was both heart-breaking and heart-warming. And anyone at any level of fame or infamy who can help normalize the conversation, please let’s do so.
And, finally, King Rex is still a fun social media follow and the creator of the great “Block or Charge?” debate. But if that’s all you know, I highly encourage you to read (or even better listen) to his words.
Addiction in its many forms is highly stigmatized in this country, and therefore not regarded as the serious physical and mental health challenge it poses. This memoir of the struggle was both heart-breaking and heart-warming. And anyone at any level of fame or infamy who can help normalize the conversation, please let’s do so.
And, finally, King Rex is still a fun social media follow and the creator of the great “Block or Charge?” debate. But if that’s all you know, I highly encourage you to read (or even better listen) to his words.
May 8, 2024
An interesting story about a talented basketball player/prescription drug addict and the situations that you encounter when that’s the case. The book suffers from the authors lack of writing ability, but he’s an NBA player first, it’s understandable. Eventually I found his writing voice to be authentic, which helped. Glad I read the book, but nothing revolutionary in this memoir.
March 8, 2024
with no historical knowledge of rex chapman, i found his memoir to be descriptive and vulnerable. it was heavy on the basketball play-by-play but humble in his missteps and addiction.
August 5, 2024
this book has an interesting story, but the writing just threw me off. there are typos and repeated sentences that made the book less enjoyable to read
February 19, 2025
I’ve never really watched the NBA and I was worried that this book might be a little too boring since athlete biography’s usually just discuss ad nauseam the achievements that these outstanding people receive (which just translates poorly in my opinion).
Rex Chapman is just like any pro basketball player - amazing as a kid, killer as a high schooler, outstanding in college, and had a great career in the nba. Turns out though that growing up in Kentucky during the 80s/90s led to him experiencing a ton of racism due to his long term girlfriend being black and he himself being white. Reading how he was too weak to admit his frustration with the racism his girlfriend experienced and the prejudice the people around him displayed led to a deep level of self hatred and shame. Rex self admits that with his lack of self esteem, anxiety, depression, and deep seated shame created an extremely weak foundation for his life. Rex became addicted to opioids and gambling which caused him to ruin relationships, future career opportunities, and blow through $40 million!
His journey into addiction and out of it was inspiring in an extremely honest way. He’s not David Goggins (no boats or logs are getting carried) but reading how he was able to beat one of the hardest combinations of addictions a person can have was really cool.
There were a few times that sentences repeated and the content was delivered very matter of factly so I wouldn’t call this the most advanced book of all time. BUT I will say it felt like an honest conversation with someone who was messed up beyond imagination and came back from it as a genuinely better man. 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and even 5th chances exist but true change only happens when we actually want it.
Would rate it an 7.9 out of 10
(Because of my job this might have hit deeper but I would recommend this book!)
Rex Chapman is just like any pro basketball player - amazing as a kid, killer as a high schooler, outstanding in college, and had a great career in the nba. Turns out though that growing up in Kentucky during the 80s/90s led to him experiencing a ton of racism due to his long term girlfriend being black and he himself being white. Reading how he was too weak to admit his frustration with the racism his girlfriend experienced and the prejudice the people around him displayed led to a deep level of self hatred and shame. Rex self admits that with his lack of self esteem, anxiety, depression, and deep seated shame created an extremely weak foundation for his life. Rex became addicted to opioids and gambling which caused him to ruin relationships, future career opportunities, and blow through $40 million!
His journey into addiction and out of it was inspiring in an extremely honest way. He’s not David Goggins (no boats or logs are getting carried) but reading how he was able to beat one of the hardest combinations of addictions a person can have was really cool.
There were a few times that sentences repeated and the content was delivered very matter of factly so I wouldn’t call this the most advanced book of all time. BUT I will say it felt like an honest conversation with someone who was messed up beyond imagination and came back from it as a genuinely better man. 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and even 5th chances exist but true change only happens when we actually want it.
Would rate it an 7.9 out of 10
(Because of my job this might have hit deeper but I would recommend this book!)
July 13, 2024
As a Kentucky fan, I vividly remember #3 flying through the air for one of those thrilling dunks at UK. I was heartbroken when he left to go to the NBA as it wasn’t the norm back then, but certainly understand when we went under investigation. It was interesting to read Rex’s events and timeline regarding many of the stories we always heard about, but also his deeply personal insights as a player and person in NCAA and NBA basketball. His addiction story is a tale involving not only opioids but also gambling and as always tremendous suffering and loss. Truly embodies the adage that “addiction and mental health issues do not discriminate.”
June 2, 2024
A memoir by the former professional basketball player and social media influencer. I don’t give a shit about sports, but I loved Rex’s story. He was a successful athlete who beat an opioid and gambling addiction. An inspiring tale of redemption.
June 2, 2024
I loved this book so much. My dad talked about his UK basketball days but I was too young to remember. The Rex I know is the guy from Twitter who shares both feel good stories and passion about the injustices in the world. It’s a wonderful story of redemption. 💙
March 19, 2024
This was a challenging book to listen to as I was thinking about my dad and his struggles with addiction. You can tell Rex is being honest about his life but it seems very challenging to be around him. I am glad he got the help he needed
April 18, 2025
Really good book! I feel like this was sometimes stretching out parts of his life just to fill time and pages but really good and raw account of a crazy life
March 18, 2024
Great read for basketball fans
Super vulnerable authentic book
Great stories about
-HS basketball
-College recruiting
-UK 🏀 nation
-race relations
-Michael Jordan/young Steph
-inspiring story of overcoming addictions
-and the NBA family
Super vulnerable authentic book
Great stories about
-HS basketball
-College recruiting
-UK 🏀 nation
-race relations
-Michael Jordan/young Steph
-inspiring story of overcoming addictions
-and the NBA family
March 7, 2024
Redemption spelled R-E-X
March 17, 2024
This was ok. Wasn’t as juicy as I wanted it to be.
March 31, 2024
Sometimes the best books come from those who are not professional writers. What makes Chapman's book so powerful is its rawness and his courage to tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may. Some of the story, having grown up just a few miles away from where Rex became a young star, and gone to college just down the road from where King Rex held court, is too familiar. The experience of being silenced because of whom he chose to date and of the rabid 'win at all costs' mentality of UK fans, without regard to the damage it inflicted on players and fans -- are not particularly secrets. But in an age of creating mythologies about our heroes it needs to keep being told until the truth sinks in.
The book makes me wonder how the trajectory would have been different for Rex had he gone with his first instinct and gone to Louisville - a place with a better man as coach, less brazenly corrupt boosters, and a more accepting environment for Rex and Shawn.
The description of what rock bottom looks like and the redemption that comes later, as well as the story of those who were there to help pick up the pieces, is inspirational. I respect the fact that Rex avoided the temptation to make excuses or paint himself in a better light. Many who choose to read this book will learn from that choice.
The book makes me wonder how the trajectory would have been different for Rex had he gone with his first instinct and gone to Louisville - a place with a better man as coach, less brazenly corrupt boosters, and a more accepting environment for Rex and Shawn.
The description of what rock bottom looks like and the redemption that comes later, as well as the story of those who were there to help pick up the pieces, is inspirational. I respect the fact that Rex avoided the temptation to make excuses or paint himself in a better light. Many who choose to read this book will learn from that choice.
March 4, 2024
RICK “SHAQ” GOLDSTEIN SAYS: A BASKETBALL PLAYER SKIES ON THE COURT… AND CRASH LANDS IN LIFE!
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Rex Chapman was an All-American basketball player at Kentucky… and played there from 1986-1988. He then played for twelve years in the NBA. He was the first draft choice in the history of the Charlotte Hornets franchise. In the 1997 NBA playoffs while a member of the Phoenix Suns… he made one of the greatest buzzer beater shots in Suns history in game four against the Seattle Supersonics… even though the Sonics eventually won the game.
While he had a respectable NBA career… despite numerous injuries… the main reason for this book… is to tell his story of his life literally bombing out to where he was barely holding on to the bottom of the barrel.. due to his becoming severely addicted to opioids… to the point he was taking fifty pills a day!
As Rex tells his story… he slowly becomes a far from appealing person to the reader. Every issue throughout his life… even before his addiction…comes across either directly… or indirectly… as someone else’s fault. Which is one of many character flaws normally found in addicts. He always worked hard on his basketball skills… but from the very beginning he has almost nothing positive to say about his Father… who himself… had been a pro basketball player and coach. He paints his Dad as a distant human being… who he could never get a compliment from. He has constant arguments with his sister… and tells tales of his Mother berating and cussing out referees. He tells tales of sexual conquests from high school on… and in a theme that lasts throughout… his supposed main “?love?” interest Shawn is black… and he’s white… growing up in Kentucky.. and according to the author everyone from his parents to his coaches… to college boosters… suggest to him that he shouldn’t be openly involved with a black girl. For the rest of his life… i.e. this entire book… he continually blames other people… and finally retrospectively decades later… tries to look in life’s rear view mirror… with still not fully opened eyes… and takes some blame himself for not having the courage and integrity… and strength of character… to openly have a relationship with Shawn.
In addition to being addicted to drugs… he becomes a gambling addict… and not only lost hundreds of thousands of dollars at the race track and gambling casinos… but while married to (now divorced) Bridget… he came up with innumerable schemes to keep his money and losses secret from her. The combination of his drug addiction and his gambling problems… despite his MAKING OVER FORTY-MILLION DOLLARS IN HIS BASKETBALL CAREER… he wound up penniless and living in his car!
After being in rehab multiple times… he has been living a clean life… and with the benefit of some good friends… he has gotten jobs within the NBA… and on TV broadcasts… and podcasts. But at around the two-thirds mark this book to me… just drops off of the end of the table of good writing… and any credibility. Along with other earlier shortcomings in this book… here’s a random sampling of the reason for my rating. (with a warning to parents)
NOTE 1: This is a really short book… and I’m not just talking about the 253 pages. The pages themselves… ARE MUCH SMALLER THAN THE NORMAL HARD COVER BOOK.
NOTE 2: It’s no problem for me… since I’m a grizzled Proud Honorably Discharged Viet Nam Era Veteran… but there are more “F-BOMBS” dropped in this book… than in a Naval bar on V.J. Day.
NOTE 3A: Bush league editing mistakes: on pages 59 and 60… they repeat the exact same three lines. “We are the classic odd couple. He’s a neat freak who irons his jeans. I never once make my bed.
NOTE 3B: Bush league editing mistakes: On page 208 they repeat the exact same two lines: “Josh eventually comes back from Prague, and the three of us live together in his house. Josh and I are so much alike it’s kind of scary, but mostly comforting.”
Note 4: Out of nowhere about 2/3 through Chapman goes on an absolute far left screed against President Trump and has the audacity… among other things… to call him a “con man”…
Which to me shows without a shadow of doubt… that Chapman is the DEFINITION OF HYPOCRISY….
EXAMPLE 1: He cheated on his girlfriend.
EXAMPLE 2:He cheated on his wife.
EXAMPLE 3: He lied to Doctors.
EXAMPLE 4: He lied to pharmacists
EXAMPLE 5: He took illegal money from college boosters.
EXAMPLE 6: Cheated on urine drug tests.
EXAMPLE 7: He lied to his wife.
EXAMPLE 8: He lied to his children.
EXAMPLE 9: He lied to cops.
EXAMPLE 10: He lied to executives.
EXAMPLE 11: He robbed Apple Stores multiple times… totaling in five figures.
And on… and on… (THE POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK!!)
NOTE 5: After unloading on Trump… he then incomprehensibly… gets up on a self-constructed pedestal… and starts singing the praises of Colin Kaepernick. Kaepernick… are you kidding me!?!? And Pauper Rex (he calls himself King Rex throughout the book) says people who say “he (Kaepernick) was disrespecting the military”… were basically wrong… because one military guy gave him the idea… is absolute crap! I’m a proud veteran… and every one of my friends and family were so disgusted we all stopped watching the NFL for a period of time.. and refused to buy any NFL gear for almost two years… but Pauper Rex literally wrote…”I respect the hell out of Colin.”
In summary… there’s an old joke… that a sports fan said… “ I went to a boxing match last night… and a hockey game broke out!”
With this book… I BOUGHT A BASKETBALL BOOK… AND A WACKO LEFT WING SCREED BROKE OUT!
I wish I had my money for this book back!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rex Chapman was an All-American basketball player at Kentucky… and played there from 1986-1988. He then played for twelve years in the NBA. He was the first draft choice in the history of the Charlotte Hornets franchise. In the 1997 NBA playoffs while a member of the Phoenix Suns… he made one of the greatest buzzer beater shots in Suns history in game four against the Seattle Supersonics… even though the Sonics eventually won the game.
While he had a respectable NBA career… despite numerous injuries… the main reason for this book… is to tell his story of his life literally bombing out to where he was barely holding on to the bottom of the barrel.. due to his becoming severely addicted to opioids… to the point he was taking fifty pills a day!
As Rex tells his story… he slowly becomes a far from appealing person to the reader. Every issue throughout his life… even before his addiction…comes across either directly… or indirectly… as someone else’s fault. Which is one of many character flaws normally found in addicts. He always worked hard on his basketball skills… but from the very beginning he has almost nothing positive to say about his Father… who himself… had been a pro basketball player and coach. He paints his Dad as a distant human being… who he could never get a compliment from. He has constant arguments with his sister… and tells tales of his Mother berating and cussing out referees. He tells tales of sexual conquests from high school on… and in a theme that lasts throughout… his supposed main “?love?” interest Shawn is black… and he’s white… growing up in Kentucky.. and according to the author everyone from his parents to his coaches… to college boosters… suggest to him that he shouldn’t be openly involved with a black girl. For the rest of his life… i.e. this entire book… he continually blames other people… and finally retrospectively decades later… tries to look in life’s rear view mirror… with still not fully opened eyes… and takes some blame himself for not having the courage and integrity… and strength of character… to openly have a relationship with Shawn.
In addition to being addicted to drugs… he becomes a gambling addict… and not only lost hundreds of thousands of dollars at the race track and gambling casinos… but while married to (now divorced) Bridget… he came up with innumerable schemes to keep his money and losses secret from her. The combination of his drug addiction and his gambling problems… despite his MAKING OVER FORTY-MILLION DOLLARS IN HIS BASKETBALL CAREER… he wound up penniless and living in his car!
After being in rehab multiple times… he has been living a clean life… and with the benefit of some good friends… he has gotten jobs within the NBA… and on TV broadcasts… and podcasts. But at around the two-thirds mark this book to me… just drops off of the end of the table of good writing… and any credibility. Along with other earlier shortcomings in this book… here’s a random sampling of the reason for my rating. (with a warning to parents)
NOTE 1: This is a really short book… and I’m not just talking about the 253 pages. The pages themselves… ARE MUCH SMALLER THAN THE NORMAL HARD COVER BOOK.
NOTE 2: It’s no problem for me… since I’m a grizzled Proud Honorably Discharged Viet Nam Era Veteran… but there are more “F-BOMBS” dropped in this book… than in a Naval bar on V.J. Day.
NOTE 3A: Bush league editing mistakes: on pages 59 and 60… they repeat the exact same three lines. “We are the classic odd couple. He’s a neat freak who irons his jeans. I never once make my bed.
NOTE 3B: Bush league editing mistakes: On page 208 they repeat the exact same two lines: “Josh eventually comes back from Prague, and the three of us live together in his house. Josh and I are so much alike it’s kind of scary, but mostly comforting.”
Note 4: Out of nowhere about 2/3 through Chapman goes on an absolute far left screed against President Trump and has the audacity… among other things… to call him a “con man”…
Which to me shows without a shadow of doubt… that Chapman is the DEFINITION OF HYPOCRISY….
EXAMPLE 1: He cheated on his girlfriend.
EXAMPLE 2:He cheated on his wife.
EXAMPLE 3: He lied to Doctors.
EXAMPLE 4: He lied to pharmacists
EXAMPLE 5: He took illegal money from college boosters.
EXAMPLE 6: Cheated on urine drug tests.
EXAMPLE 7: He lied to his wife.
EXAMPLE 8: He lied to his children.
EXAMPLE 9: He lied to cops.
EXAMPLE 10: He lied to executives.
EXAMPLE 11: He robbed Apple Stores multiple times… totaling in five figures.
And on… and on… (THE POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK!!)
NOTE 5: After unloading on Trump… he then incomprehensibly… gets up on a self-constructed pedestal… and starts singing the praises of Colin Kaepernick. Kaepernick… are you kidding me!?!? And Pauper Rex (he calls himself King Rex throughout the book) says people who say “he (Kaepernick) was disrespecting the military”… were basically wrong… because one military guy gave him the idea… is absolute crap! I’m a proud veteran… and every one of my friends and family were so disgusted we all stopped watching the NFL for a period of time.. and refused to buy any NFL gear for almost two years… but Pauper Rex literally wrote…”I respect the hell out of Colin.”
In summary… there’s an old joke… that a sports fan said… “ I went to a boxing match last night… and a hockey game broke out!”
With this book… I BOUGHT A BASKETBALL BOOK… AND A WACKO LEFT WING SCREED BROKE OUT!
I wish I had my money for this book back!
April 7, 2024
As a kid, I admired Rex. I was a basketball player and he played for the Cats - he could shoot 3’s and was a great dunker. His outstanding play led to blowouts of IU and UofL during his freshman year. It was also fun following his NBA career; I had a poster of him in his Hornets uniform going up for a dunk on the wall of my freshman dorm room.
However, I admire him even more for how he has handled his addiction and rebuilt his life afterwards.
This candid memoir is not only a good read - with great anecdotes about his time as a ball player - it will likely help countless others get the help that they need.
However, I admire him even more for how he has handled his addiction and rebuilt his life afterwards.
This candid memoir is not only a good read - with great anecdotes about his time as a ball player - it will likely help countless others get the help that they need.
March 18, 2024
Great memoir just wish it didn’t get political at the end
May 27, 2024
It's Hard for Me to Live with Me: A Memoir by Rex Chapman with Seth Davis
This is a raw and unfiltered memoir. Chapman is a bit like an artist; rather than creating on a basketball court, he now creates by communicating life as he sees it, and as he remembers it, without really trying to rationalize or make sense of it– the ink is on the page and it is what it is.
One of its greatest values – and challenges– to me was that it made me question the value of what Kentuckians like myself have idolized since childhood. I grew up going to games with my parents, who had season tickets. I can remember (just barely) watching Rex Chapman play at Rupp when I was seven years old; I remember the phenomenon that meant so much to the state. I remember his shoulders carried ridiculous expectations and everyone wanted just a glimpse of him.
I remember watching on TV with my mom when he injured his back (while dunking) and had to miss games. What none of us knew before this memoir was that same night his long-time girlfriend had an abortion. What only a few University of Kentucky administrators and boosters knew was that they repeatedly discouraged him from dating her for the sole reason that she was Black. Three times, Chapman had racial epithets keyed into his car by “fans” during games. Even after being drafted as a lottery pick, his first meeting with the Charlotte Hornets’ results in him discouraging Rex from dating black women because of how it would look to certain white people. At UK, Chapman played for a coach whose alcoholism everyone worked to cover up. Boosters handed cash to players after games. It was a culture full of lies, corruption, and enablement in which the media (who was never blind to these things) was also complicit.
Rex writes of the guilt he feels in not speaking up, not being willing to push back against racism or others’ judgments. But he was 19 years old and just wanted to play basketball. I also can’t help but feel complicit. Those of us who have lived vicariously through the exploits of 18-21 year old kids on a court or a field never stop to ask what the cost is to them. Only after a major injury or some other tragedy do we stop to take stock of the silliness of worshiping “student athletes.” There’s no telling the ways others at UK were damaged by the vicious beast created by our collective hero worship– which sells tickets, TV rights, memorabilia, and donations to the athletics program that makes money off all of it. The 2024 NIL settlement allowing players to basically be employees only begins to address the grievances.
Another value of this book is Chapman’s open recollections of what it’s like to be addicted to opioids for years. Rex is no angel and doesn’t make himself out to be one. His ego and addictions hurt many people, including himself. Late in his NBA career, he was prescribed oxycontin after a surgery, even though he didn’t need it, which led him down a dark road for many years. The medical malpractice is sad and staggering. Only through stalwart friends and family was he able to get into a medical facility that ultimately saved his life. Much of the book is a tribute to those people who saved him in those dark times.
If you’re a Kentucky basketball fan, this book is a must-read, even though it will be painful for you to read it. There are plenty of anecdotes about UK basketball and the NBA in the 80s and 90s. (Rex revealed further interesting stories that didn’t make the final edit on his X account.) If you’re a Kentuckian, you should also read it as another look at how the opioid crisis has affected our state at every level of society. Chapman was on top of the world and lost everything, he is still living week-to-week with heavy debts and his life has been painful. But he’s still processing, pursuing therapy and the odd jobs that come his way, and finding a way to create. It’s a great accomplishment to write something that is as unvarnished as this.
It’s hard to rate someone’s personal testimony, but I give it four stars. There are some editing mistakes and some of Chapman’s “not in the book” tweets have made me wish more was in the book. (Kudos to Seth Davis, by the way.)
This is a raw and unfiltered memoir. Chapman is a bit like an artist; rather than creating on a basketball court, he now creates by communicating life as he sees it, and as he remembers it, without really trying to rationalize or make sense of it– the ink is on the page and it is what it is.
One of its greatest values – and challenges– to me was that it made me question the value of what Kentuckians like myself have idolized since childhood. I grew up going to games with my parents, who had season tickets. I can remember (just barely) watching Rex Chapman play at Rupp when I was seven years old; I remember the phenomenon that meant so much to the state. I remember his shoulders carried ridiculous expectations and everyone wanted just a glimpse of him.
I remember watching on TV with my mom when he injured his back (while dunking) and had to miss games. What none of us knew before this memoir was that same night his long-time girlfriend had an abortion. What only a few University of Kentucky administrators and boosters knew was that they repeatedly discouraged him from dating her for the sole reason that she was Black. Three times, Chapman had racial epithets keyed into his car by “fans” during games. Even after being drafted as a lottery pick, his first meeting with the Charlotte Hornets’ results in him discouraging Rex from dating black women because of how it would look to certain white people. At UK, Chapman played for a coach whose alcoholism everyone worked to cover up. Boosters handed cash to players after games. It was a culture full of lies, corruption, and enablement in which the media (who was never blind to these things) was also complicit.
Rex writes of the guilt he feels in not speaking up, not being willing to push back against racism or others’ judgments. But he was 19 years old and just wanted to play basketball. I also can’t help but feel complicit. Those of us who have lived vicariously through the exploits of 18-21 year old kids on a court or a field never stop to ask what the cost is to them. Only after a major injury or some other tragedy do we stop to take stock of the silliness of worshiping “student athletes.” There’s no telling the ways others at UK were damaged by the vicious beast created by our collective hero worship– which sells tickets, TV rights, memorabilia, and donations to the athletics program that makes money off all of it. The 2024 NIL settlement allowing players to basically be employees only begins to address the grievances.
Another value of this book is Chapman’s open recollections of what it’s like to be addicted to opioids for years. Rex is no angel and doesn’t make himself out to be one. His ego and addictions hurt many people, including himself. Late in his NBA career, he was prescribed oxycontin after a surgery, even though he didn’t need it, which led him down a dark road for many years. The medical malpractice is sad and staggering. Only through stalwart friends and family was he able to get into a medical facility that ultimately saved his life. Much of the book is a tribute to those people who saved him in those dark times.
If you’re a Kentucky basketball fan, this book is a must-read, even though it will be painful for you to read it. There are plenty of anecdotes about UK basketball and the NBA in the 80s and 90s. (Rex revealed further interesting stories that didn’t make the final edit on his X account.) If you’re a Kentuckian, you should also read it as another look at how the opioid crisis has affected our state at every level of society. Chapman was on top of the world and lost everything, he is still living week-to-week with heavy debts and his life has been painful. But he’s still processing, pursuing therapy and the odd jobs that come his way, and finding a way to create. It’s a great accomplishment to write something that is as unvarnished as this.
It’s hard to rate someone’s personal testimony, but I give it four stars. There are some editing mistakes and some of Chapman’s “not in the book” tweets have made me wish more was in the book. (Kudos to Seth Davis, by the way.)
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