American Lady: The Life of Susan Mary Alsop

by Caroline de Margerie, Frances FitzGerald (Introduction), Christopher Murray (Translation)

The fascinating story of one of the grand dames of Georgetown society and a true Washington insider

Henry Kissinger once remarked that more agreements were concluded in the living room of Susan Mary Alsop than in the White House. A descendent of Founding Father John Jay, Susan Mary was an American aristocrat whose first marriage gave her full access to post-war diplomatic social life in Paris. There, her circle of friends included Winston Churchill, Isaiah Berlin, Evelyn Waugh, and Christian Dior, among other luminaries, and she had a passionate love affair with British ambassador Duff Cooper. During the golden years of John F. Kennedy’s presidency—after she had married the powerful journalist Joe Alsop—her Washington home was a gathering place for everyone of importance, including Katharine Graham, Robert McNamara, and Henry Kissinger. Dubbed “the second lady of Camelot,” she hosted dinner parties that were the epitome of political power and social arrival, bringing together the movers and shakers not just of the United States, but of the world. Featuring an introduction by Susan Mary Alsop’s goddaughter Frances FitzGerald, American Lady is a fascinating chronicle of a woman who witnessed, as Nancy Mitford once said, “history on the boil.”

Genres: Biography, Nonfiction, History, Biography Memoir, Womens, Memoir, American History

265 pages, Paperback

First published February 17, 2011

Reviews

[Diane · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a rather quick read, but then it's less than 200 pages (not counting bibliography and index).

Susan Mary Alsop was a descendant of Founding Father John Jay. She was born to wealth and privilege, but her relationship with her parents was distant. She described herself as, "I have been a distant, proper, efficient and rather unaffectionate daughter." Susan Mary (as she is constantly called throughout the book) is something of a sphinx. enigmatic and difficult to know. The author does not help matters at all.

I had never heard of Susan Mary Alsop before I bought this book, and after reading it, I still don't know who she was. The author fast forwards over her childhood. The death of her older sister Emily, which was so traumatic for the family, is handled in less than two pages. Susan Mary's meeting and courtship with her first husband, Bill Patten, is also sped through. However, Susan Mary's affair with Duff Cooper is described page after page. One gets the idea that this relationship and her second marriage to Joe Alsop were the most important things she ever did.

I'm not going to list the many areas in this book that should have been expanded upon. It should have been twice this length. As it is, we get a summary of a life, not the story of a life. Susan Mary remains aloof and oddly unemotional even when she should be emotional. This is a shallow, oddly uninvolving biography. I won't be reading anything else by this author.

[Marley]

Another remandered gem from Family Dollar. But, like others I wish the book had told us more.

I suffer great envy from reading this book. I always felt I should be part of Washington society--a powerbrokering hostess. Some of my fairly distant relatives were Georgetown elites from the early part of the 20th century up to the 1930s. Too bad they died off before I could be shipped off to them. I'd not have minded being a minor light in Mary Alsop's world, though I couldn't tolerate the buffoons who have taken over Washington today. Do they even have parties or are they too busy being stupid?

I think Mary was a good person, but suffered from passive-aggressive tendencies. Se also knew what was proper and expected so maybe that's it. She was transgressive in her own fascinating way. Keeping her son's parentage a secret from him was abominable, no matter what. I see that he himself has written a book about it now, which I should try to find.

I really enjoyed the book, but I want to know more about Mary, which may not be possible. There were a lot of people mentioned in the book, many of whom I'm familiar with,but they'd pop up randomly, and I had no idea what her real relationship with her was with them. I'd recommend this book to anyone who wants to read about how Washington society used to operate.

Forgot: I understand who Duff Cooper was and need to read up on him. He shows up in a lot of reading, but I didn't get that he was so important or a chik-magnet.

[Claire · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting to read about such a smart and elegant woman of such a different time. I would have liked to understand her motivations more deeply, though. I am still wondering about her relationship with Duff Cooper. It seemed so odd.

[KOMET · Rating 4 out of 5]

AMERICAN LADY is a concise biography of a remarkable woman, Susan Mary Alsop (1918-2004), a descendant of one of the Founding Fathers (John Jay), born in Europe, raised in Argentina, who later became a New York debutante, and by the time she was in her mid-20s, was married to an asthmatic U.S. diplomat (Bill Patten) and living in Paris.

Susan Mary managed to carve out a niche for herself while living in France as a hostess, someone who was well-read in history, literature, and politics, and forged many relationships with many of the powerful and influential people across France, the UK, and the U.S.

Following the death of her husband Bill in February 1960, Sarah Mary would succumb within a year to a charm offensive conducted by an exchange of letters between herself and Joseph Alsop, an old friend who was also one of America's most renowned journalists and a Washington power broker sans pareil. The two would marry in February 1961 and Susan Mary would move into Alsop's residence in Georgetown with her two young children, where she would soon earn a reputation for herself during the Kennedy Administration for hosting "dinner parties that were the epitome of political power and social arrival." Indeed, Susan Mary would remain for the rest of her life a prominent figure in Georgetown society (even after she and Alsop divorced a decade later) among much of the political and cultural elite of the country. Furthermore, Susan Mary herself would go on to write a number of books and articles, and live out a full and purposeful life.

This is the kind of biography that can be read within a week. It also has various photos spanning Susan Mary Alsop's life. For anyone interested in reading a biography of a noteworthy person whose life encompassed most of the 20th century, you'll profit from reading American Lady: The Life of Susan Mary Alsop.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this up on a whim, but I very much enjoyed it. It seemed that every time I turned the page, there was another familiar name: Marietta Tree, Noel Coward, Pamela Harriman, Wallis Simpson, Barbara Howar, Ben Bradlee, Babe Paley, and so many more. What a fascinating life this woman had.
In addition, this book was VERY well-written. Only one error jumped out at me--the spelling of Sargeant Shriver's name--but as the book was translated from the French, I will blame the translator and not the author.

[Judy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ever since I met her briefly in the early 1970s, I have been fascinated by the life of Susan Mary Alsop. Who wouldn't be interested in a woman whose living room, according to Henry Kissinger, had more agreements reached in it than were reached in the White House. A descendent of both John Jay and Jacob Astor, Alsop was born in Rome and lived for some years in Argentina where her beloved older sister died. Returning to the United States, Susan Mary was raised by a distant, preoccupied father who died early in her life and an unloving mother. She married Bill Patten who was assigned to the American Embassy in Paris at the end of World War II and they lived in that city until Bill's death. While in Paris, Susan Mary was a witness to what she called "history on the boil" and met the leading artistic, literary, political leaders of the time. She also fell in love with Duff Cooper, the British Ambassador to France, and carried on a secret love affair with him until his death. She had two children by Cooper and only revealed their paternity to her children when they were adults. After the death of Patten, she married Joe Alsop, a childhood friend who was a leading journalist and a Washington power broker, even though he told her that he was a closeted homosexual. Upon moving to Washington, Susan Mary was a leading figure in Georgetown society for over 40 years and after divorcing Alsop, she turned her hand to researching and writing several books of history that were well received by critics. My only complaint about this book is that Susan Mary was so reserved about her feelings and so self-contained that the reader comes away with the feeling that we now know what she did, but we never really got to know the woman herself.

[Mary Timbes · Rating 3 out of 5]

Susan Mary Jay Patten Alsop was a fascinating woman of the 20th Century--intelligent, charming, rich, and able to converse with those in power in the U.S. and Europe. She is prototypical of a certain kind of woman, born before the notion of being liberated, but living a glamorous life privy to the secrets of many important men. I was intrigued by this very paradox. She could have done much more on her own but chose to attach to men who in some cases (and all in different ways) were less adroit than she. If there were a decided class system in this country, she would have been upper-class, "different from us" in the way that fascinated F. Scott Fitzgerald.

I found the book to be well-written and compelling, but am well aware many would be less interested in her as a person than I was. I recommend it to lovers of history, and of lovers in history. She occupies a unique niche in her time and place, akin to that of Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy and Katherine Graham. If women like that interest you, this book is a damn good read.

[Sarah Hearn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I know a lot of people who’ve read this found it lightweight and inconsequential , and so it is in some ways, but for all that, it is a fascinating read about one of the women behind the thrones of the movers and shakers of mid-20th century Europe and the US. I am directing a production of David Auburn’s play, The Columnist, about Joe Alsop, and Susan Mary Alsop is a major character in the play. When I read the play before reading this book, I thought she was sort of a wuss with no backbone. I now have a much better take on who she was and why she behaved the way she did with the great intellectual bully she married in 1961. Anyway, it’s good background info for my research into the play, and I’m glad I read it.

[Pat Lampe · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a most interesting biography of a woman I knew nothing about. She was the embodiment of American high society, with wealth and education and family background. World history from the 40s through the early 90s. A remarkable woman who made the best of her life, authored four books, raised responsible children, kept up with friends, entertained. A glimpse into bygone days and manners. I really enjoyed this book.

[Darla Ebert · Rating 2 out of 5]

Perhaps some would find Ms. Alsop "fascinating" and multi-faceted. From and for my own opinion, though, granted Susan Alsop was certainly talented in many ways, yet these are overshadowed by her lack of morals and in betraying a kind husband who suffered with health problems his entire life. It seemed so unfair to him and to their children.

[Barbara Burton]

Picked it up from a random selection of biographies at my local library, I had never heard of Susan Mary Alsop. Started rather slowly but when it hit the Vietnam War and her marriage to Joe Alsop, i found it fascinating because I remember that war and had heard of Joe Alsop. An interesting life and a slice of history, quick read, glad I read it

[Sandy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very entertaining.

[Ashley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think when reading this, one must keep in mind that it is translated from French. It was interesting, but not amazing.

[Jill Meyer · Rating 2 out of 5]

French writer Caroline de Margerie has written a flat biography of a flat woman, Susan Mary Alsop. Maybe it's the translation from French to English or the unexamined look at Alsop's life - but this biography reads a bit like a biography written by a high school student. The facts and dates are there, but there's very little analyzation of those facts.

A few years ago, Alsop's son - William Patten, the elder of her two children - wrote a book called, "My Three Fathers: And the Elegant Deceptions of my Mother, Susan Mary Alsop". The gist of the book was the fact that Bill Patten had, in effect, three fathers. William Patten, Sr, was Susan Mary's husband and claimed fatherhood of young Bill, even though British diplomat Duff Cooper, was Bill's natural father. The third "father" noted was Joseph Alsop, who Susan Mary married after Will Patten's death and who basically raised Bill. That second marriage ended in divorce, though Joe and Susan Mary remained close friends after the divorce. Maybe because ya had ta be there, Bill Patten wrote a much better biography of his mother than de Margerie has.

Okay, why a biography of Susan Mary Jay Patten Alsop? Descended from the important Jay family, Susan Mary was the surviving daughter of an American diplomat and his wife. Her older sister died at the age of 15 from complications of an appendectomy performed in Buenos Aires. No one told young Susan Mary what happened - Emily Jay was there one day and gone the next - and while a good biography does not have to be intensely analytical, de Margierie provides nothing about how her sister's death affected Susan Mary. Just the facts; "death of sister", check, on to next fact about Susan Mary.

After returning to the US, Susan Mary grew up in Washington and the coastal towns of Maine, and attended boarding school at Foxcroft in Virginia. She made many important friends and married at an early age, William Patten. He was a diplomat - suffering from asthma kept him out of wartime military service - and she joined him at the American Embassy after WW2. Cheating on Patten with the husband of her close friend, Diana Cooper, she became pregnant with Duff Cooper's son. Another child - a daughter, this time fathered by her husband - followed and Susan Mary found life in Paris enthralling as an "interpreter" of history and politics to her friends both at home in the US and in France and England. After William Patten's death, she moved back to Washington - her children were by then in boarding schools - and married Joseph Alsop. Joe Alsop was gay, but friendly to Susan Mary, and he introduced her to the powers-that-be in the Kennedy administration. She became important in both the social and diplomatic life of 1960's Washington. And although she divorced Joe Alsop, they remained dear friends and companions. She died in 2002, having spent 20 or so years as a heavy drinker, okay, an alcoholic. She did write a couple of history books and was an editor for "Architectural Digest" in the years before her death.

Again I ask, "why read a biography of Susan Mary Alsop"? Based on de Margerie's book, I can't think of a single reason. IF you are interested in her life, better to read her son's book. He manages to give a much better picture of his mother - warts and all. In this case, you really had ta be there!

[Andie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love vintage society biographies and this one is certainly satisfying. The story of Susan Mary Alsop is one of the now mostly by-gone American WASP establishment. Born into a prominent family (her father was a Jay), Susan Mary was born in Rome in 1918, where her father had as diplomatic posting, and lived in various other international capitals until in 1926 when her older sister died in Buenos Aires. AFter that her father retired from the diplomatic service to become a wealthy American living on his investments in Washington, DC and Bar Harbour, Maine . Susan Mary was educated at Foxcroft in Virginia & after graduating from high school (thought to be enough education for a girl), was a debutant & made a suitable early marriage to a man who was not in good health, but came from an appropriate WASP background and who was also destined to be in the diplomatic corps.

After World War II, the couple was posted to Paris where they remained until his death in 1960. In that time, Susan Mary established herself as a great hostess, seemingly knowing everyone (even being parodied in two of Nancy Mitford's novels), and being accepted into high-bound Parisian society. She also had a years long affair with Duff Cooper, at that time the British Ambassador to France, who was apparently the great love of her life.

After her husband's death she entered into a marriage of convenience with the columnist Joe Alsop, who was homosexual, mostly because he was an old friend & she knew that with him, she'd be close to the center of political power in the US. After 12 not so satisfying years, they divorced and she embarked upon a new career an author and magazine writer. She died in 2004.

Reading this book reminded me that it was not so long ago that women received their power by being ornamental extensions of other men. It also reminded me of how interconnected - almost incestuous - the old Establishment was. Everyone went to the same schools, summered in the same places & married each other. The days of political salons and letters of introduction have long since passed, but it is still fascinating to read about them.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alsop had a rather sad childhood, traumatised by the loss of her beloved sister and father. She also endured a judgmental mother. But the wealthy and privileged debutante, descended from one of America's first families, fell in love at a young age with Bill Patten, and life changed when she married Patten and lived in Paris after the Second World War. Here she went a Sabrina-style transformation from a shy young woman to a popular and fashionable one, who was sought after for her opinions. Dressed in Dior and other haute-couture designers, she associated with Paris high society.

The book tells the tale of Alsop's 'grand affair' with the British Ambassador to France, Duff Cooper, her two marriages, and how she became a formidable and influential woman in Washington politics and society. At quite a late age, Alsop also collected her letters from Paris to Marietta Tree, and wrote popular history books while others in her class who were just as rich and privileged, in her words, 'didn't do anything'.

Many biographers fall in love with their subjects, and I felt that the author was too sympathetic to Alsop at times. She caused her son a great deal of heartache, for example, and this wasn't really adequately dealt with in the book.

However, I would like a 'hard copy' of this book. I hope that it has pictures - the Kindle version doesn't.

[Carolyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting biography of the popular Washington D.C. hostess. When the journalist Joseph Alsop proposed marriage he revealed to her that he was a homosexual, but they both loved the political life and were privy to important moments in history during the Kennedy years and beyond. She had spent most of her young married life with her first husband in Paris, while he was attached to the American Embassy, and their circle included Churchill and other notables. Susan Mary had a long affair with the apparently irresistible Duff Cooper during this period, and it was widely accepted that he was the father of her first child. (She also had a daughter, Anne, who's first husband was the award-winning journalist George Crile. I met them both while he worked for the Post Tribune in Gary, Indiana in the early 70s. This book says Crile was from "a good family from Cleveland" - his grandfather co-founded the Cleveland Clinic.) Susan Mary and Joe Alsop eventually separated, but remained friends until his death. During the last part of her life she became a successful author of three non-fiction books. This was a very enjoyable & gossipy account of a by-gone era about a woman who was able to lead an interesting life within the restrictions of the time.

[Kathleen Hanes · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fast read covering much of the 20th century and the social/political circles in which she operated as "hostess" with two husbands. . Upon re reading next AM felt I should add that she was great great great granddaughter of both John Jay and John Jacob Astor so had a "head start" on life. However, the death of her sister, seven years her elder, had negative effects on her family and she became timid and withdrawn. Graduated with honors from Foxcroft (VA) in 1935 and all education thensforth was from living!! Mother was difficult or "tiresome" as she elegantly put it. Both marriages were strained, first husband dying young in 1960 and Joe Alsop (related to Teddy Roosevelt) being charming but with a temper and a closeted gay. There were advantages to each of them in this marriage but she left after 12 years and needed to reinvent herself. Became a published writer of three books in her 60s. (Why am I going on and on here?). Had two episodes with alcohol in her later years, and after the first rehab informed her 47 y.o. Son that his father was Duff Cooper, the British ambassador to France . (Her second affair was also with a British ambassador.).

[Lori · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had hoped this book of 6hrs & 5 min, would be more interesting than it was considering the scope of historical characters that passed thru her living room, Churchill, Waugh, Dior, JFK, etc. It Was interesting but didn't provide enough to make it anything other than a slightly amusing walk thru an era when the Hostess with the Mostess could still wield influence. Granted there may still be some but she was probably the queen and none will equal the combined efforts of her aristocratic grace with her 2nd husband's journalist cunning; he was the closeted gay, Joe Alsop. Her affair with British Ambassador Duff Cooper provided some interesting details including Duff fathered her son, named after her husband at the time, Bill Patten.
It provides a slice of history, but considering the juicy details could have been more interestingly written.

[False · Rating 3 out of 5]

I used to see her ex husband standing on his stairs on Dumbarton Avenue in Georgetown, Washington, D.C. A tidy life with so much untidy underneath. Parts of her life remind me of Edith Wharton's "The Age of Innocence," and May, where at the end it is said of her how life's worries and upsets never touched her and no one had the heart to tell her the truths of the world, yet she herself possessed a steely interior to achieve what she wished to be a part of, the inner circle of inner circles. She lived in a world that doesn't exist anymore. I see tiny remnants at times, some doddering little lady with her Jamaican maid, holding out her arm for support. You don't grow gliding through those marble halls.

[Robin · Rating 2 out of 5]

A light and breezy account of a woman who was probably more interesting than the book allows. She certainly knew many of the interesting and influential people of her time - and we learn that she had dinner with many of them, but we don't learn very much about what they talked about. And we learn that her personal life seemed sad on many levels because of the seemingly poor choices she made about her life partners. We also learn that her own accomplishments, other than being a highly successful hostess for her husbands, really began once she was on her own. A life both sad and interesting on many levels.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

It started with my last three reviewed books and is turning into a historical bender. This book is about Susan Mary Alsop. I knew NOTHING about her, her husbands, her life etc. While reading "Americans in London", that story focused on London in wartime 1939-1945. Of course, France could not be left out of that story, and Susan Mary's life there at that time is, of course, interesting. I loved this book for what it was: a fascinating look into the lives and times of life and people in Europe during the war. Later, Susan Mary's new life with husband Joe Alsop provides a glimpse into life in Washington, where they were not inconsequential players.
Good book.

[Kristen · Rating 2 out of 5]

A lightweight biography packed with inane descriptions that belong in a cheap romance novel, such as, "The love of the young and humble can assume heroic proportions," and "...gold fetes where young girls, voluptuous and innocent, danced with each other," and "the pale light of dawn beckoned to bed. Night was no longer the opposite of day..."

Alsop led an interesting life, but this book sheds little light on her motivations, apart from avoiding boredom and seeking financial security. It also fails to contrast the opposing aspects of her personality, such how a straight-laced circumscribed person embarks on an affair and hides her son's paternity from him for almost 50 years.

[Forrest Preece · Rating 3 out of 5]

A glimpse behind the silk curtain of American high society. Susan Mary led a life that few of us common folk could imagine having. She was a debutante, participated in the high-end dinners and salons of Paris after WWII and then went on to marry Joe Alsop and preside over the Georgetown social scene. De Margerie does a good job of moving the story along with plenty of spice and detail. Obviously, she spent a lot of time doing research. This book is worth it for the insight into this level of society and the vignettes of historical figures.

[Anita · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a life she led!! Wealth, privilege, travel, politics....she really did have it all. At least it looked as if she did. I thought this book was fascinating and well-written, it was translated from French and was very well done. I did think the first part of her life was better covered than the second and I wish there were more pictures. I always think biographies should have lots and LOTS of pictures. Other than that I really liked this book and could not put it down.

[Joanne · Rating 2 out of 5]

Maybe if I were an expert in post-WW2 history or Franco-American relations, I'd find this book more interesting. Alsop's husband was posted to the French embassy in Paris, and she quickly became a socialite there, meeting all sorts of Famous People at the time, and perhaps influencing international politics in between throwing parties and having an affair with the English ambassador. It all comes off as an exercise in Who's Who and name-dropping, and it's pretty dull.

[Ann Aldrich · Rating 2 out of 5]

The biography rarely dips below the superficial level, so it is difficult to understand why this woman is important and why we should care about her. She was quite intellectual and well-versed in politics during the Kennedy era. After her marriage to Joseph Alsop collapsed, she became a writer of biography and architecture. She was probably a fascinating woman, but the biography does not do justice to that.

[Colleen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was bored - her circumstances may have been different, but so many 'poor little rich girls' came from that era. Of course they met the right people, they traveled in the right circles. She succumbed to temptations "ordinary" people face, and she was self-absorbed enough to justify her behavior. I stopped 3/4 of the way through, it was like reading a list of "Who's Who".

[Patrick Riley · Rating 2 out of 5]

While it sounds like Susan Mary Alsop had an interesting life and interacted with many interesting famous people, I was disappointed that the author never brings us very close to her as a person. What was she like? How did she feel? What did she think? For a biography, this was written with a pretty wide lens. It read more like journalism.

[Annie Garvey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'd like to read more about Duff Cooper. What was the attraction, beside power? I've read a few things about Lady Diana, Duff's wife. Why would she put up the role as pimp for him? No one can every understand another's definition of "love."