Finding Our Families: A First-of-Its-Kind Book for Donor-Conceived People and Their Families

by Wendy Kramer, Naomi Cahn

The first comprehensive book that offers invaluable step-by-step advice for families with donor-conceived children.

Wendy Kramer, founder and director of the Donor Sibling Registry, and Naomi Cahn, family and reproductive law professor, have compiled a comprehensive and thorough guide for the growing community of families with donor-conceived children. Kramer and Cahn believe that all donor-conceived children’s desire to know their genetic family must be honored, and in  Finding Our Families , they offer advice on how to foster healthy relationships within immediate families and their larger donor family networks based on openness and acceptance.
            With honesty and compassion, the authors offer thoughtful strategies and inspirational stories to help parents answer their own, and their children’s, questions and concerns that will surely arise,
Finding Our Families  opens up the lives of donor-conceived people who may be coping with uncertainty, thriving despite it, and finding novel ways to connect in this uncharted territory as they navigate the challenges and rewards of the world of donor conception.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

288 pages, Paperback

First published November 5, 2013

Reviews

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked up "Finding Our Families: A First-of-Its-Kind Book for Donor Conceived People and Their Families" by Wendy Kramer just out of curiosity. It was in a sense pre-research for friends. I found the book insightful and interesting. The stories Kramer includes are compelling and the book is easily organized and formatted in such a way that it is a quick read.
As a child of adoption who never struggled with the stereotypical adopted kid issues such as wanting to find my biological families I will admit the assertion that all donor conceived people will want to find their donor irks me. I don't know what it's like to be in that situation of course, but I do know what it's like when people assume and assert that I should want to know my biological roots; it pisses me off. I am 100% happy with my family. Period. If I did by some happenstance happen to meet my biological relatives I suppose I would say thank you and be on my merry way. Kramer does mention a time or two that some donor conceived people may not want any information, but to me it was said in such an offhand way that it would almost shame those who aren't curious. To me, I found that bothersome.
What I did appreciate was the advice on when and how to tell donor-conceived people they are donor conceived. I agree (and the stories concurred) that early disclosure would be the least traumatic. I think the variety of stories and experienced provided and the scope that Kramer covers was fantastic.
The last thing I appreciated about the book was its accessibility. Anyone could read this book and glean valuable information from it whether they're donor conceived, the parent or relative of someone who's donor conceived, or just a random person (like me) who's curious about the topic.

[Erika · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book had a lot of really great information, but I wish it had a section on raising a known-donor child/family. I understand Wendy started the DSR, which is for unknown donors, but I feel this book would be enriched by that information and how it compares/contrast a known scenario. Or perhaps this same large grouping of information but as a known donor scenario.

[Thomas Simonds · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this for research into my book series based on articles about private investigators uncovering genetic donor relationships. One of my characters manages to find her donation results. The first question with genetic engineering is the inheritance paradox, and these guys make a good stab at the subject. Kudos for a difficult subject, not the most compelling writing and misses quite a lot.