Freedom from Toxic Relationships: Moving On from the Family, Work, and Relationship Issues That Bring You Down

by Avril Carruthers

A guide to leaving painful, destructive relationships behind—both at home and at work
Toxic relationships often come disguised as seemingly normal ones. These subtly destructive relationships are characterized by the slow erosion of self-esteem, a loss of personal identity, or a growing desire to please friends, partners, and family members who are impossible to please.
 
In this uplifting and informative book, transpersonal psychotherapist Avril Carruthers will take a close look at adult relationships to show why we get involved in toxic relationships in the first place, and instruct the reader on how to recognize if they’re involved in one. Once the toxic relationship is identified, the author shows the reader how to begin their journey toward healing and how to meet the world with a new kind of confidence, so that the cycle of toxic relationships can be broken once and for all.
 
What Carruthers teaches is just how possible it can be to learn how to recognize the manipulative or sweetly corrosive partner, the family dynamics that make Christmas and other get-togethers seem like hell, or the nightmare boss who causes daily torment—and that we can learn to leave these painful, destructive patterns behind forever.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help

288 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2011

About the author

Avril Carruthers (BA M.Couns) has had a private practice in holistic transpersonal psychotherapy and healing in Sydney, Australia for over twenty years. Previously a nurse and a high school teacher, she teaches meditation and spiritual development and is an educator at the Australian College of Applied Psychology.

Apart from her qualifications in psychotherapy and counselling, Avril's practice rests on three decades of study and experience in energetic and spiritual healing with a number of martial arts, healing masters and meditation schools.

She studied and instructed over a period of ten years at the Clairvision School of Meditation in Sydney and is long experienced as an entity clearer. She works with the dying to facilitate a peaceful passage.

Her first book Let Your Past Go and Live came out in September 2009. It deals with false selves or sub-personalities with which we often mis-identify, and which can sabotage our lives.

Her second book, Freedom From Toxic Relationships, deals with relationships, the nature of attachment and psychic cords. It was released in May 2011 and two years later it was revised and updated and re-released by Tarcher-Penguin Books.

Both books are available from all good bookstores, and in print or ebook.

Reviews

[Sandra Gest · Rating 4 out of 5]

Psychotherapist Avril Carruthers does a good job in explaining why we are still bound to people who have mistreated us or we cannot have a good relationship with, and why we continue to form these bonds. For some of us its like we are living Jean Paul Sartes " No Exit". I read this in one sitting. If cleansing our cord is as easy as cleansing our home, I think I need a psychotherapist who specializes in this area. Anyone know one?

[house targaryen · Rating 1 out of 5]

All about psychic ties, basically an advertisement for this person's services.

[Mela · Rating 3 out of 5]

Received free from Goodreads First Reads. Review to come.

[Jason Harris · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nonsense.

This book is based on a mishmash of Hindu/Spiritist/Animist dogma presented with the typical intolerance of extreme religious fundamentalism, and with the same anti-intellectualism. It is non-scientific—even anti-scientific at times—in it's approach and assertions. It is unreferenced and incompatible with the science of psychology.

Basically, you need your local witch doctor to do a "clearing" ritual to rid you of your invisible, but not metaphorical, cords to others. These others might be from this life or a past life. Etc. You get the idea. Nuts. Find a legitimate counsellor/therapist and/or speak with your pastor. Leave this con-woman to the gullible.

[Alexandra · Rating 2 out of 5]

very woo. But I used it as a metaphor for the thoughts in my own head.

you have 'chords' to other people that suck away your life energy and until you 'clear the chord' you'll suffer in that realm and let other sucking chords lay atop it and grow. downer.

leaving behind negative thought patterns was the key takeway for me.

[Rosemary · Rating 5 out of 5]

THIS is the book i have been looking for.... its a New-Age type of book - which is exactly WHY i like it. Its already filled with highlights and notes...can't WAIT to tell my therapist about it (they actually need to send her one!)

it helped me - tremendously!

[Lindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's a bit new age for my liking, I skip those parts and take in what I want. Common sense stuff.

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

Thread. Cords. Too out there for me.

[Allison · Rating 1 out of 5]

The author has some good points, but seems like a really long commercial for some service offered, without any real self help tools

[Jonathan Bergh · Rating 4 out of 5]

It turns out that people are f@cking crazy, present company included.....

[Tara · Rating 3 out of 5]

9/27/20 3.75 stars

[Lori · Rating 5 out of 5]

I liked the explanation of the cord, and discussion on self differentiation. Some of it is more spiritual but I enjoyed the positive and hopeful tone.

[Jennifer · Rating 1 out of 5]

Too hippy-dippy and plain language for me

[Chelsea · Rating 1 out of 5]

This wasn't helpful at all.

[Aimee O · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very good book. Surprised me. I thought it would be only about toxicity but it touched other areas and gave good advice on meditation. Unexpected.

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

So . . . I received this via a Goodreads First Reads giveaway. It's an uncorrected proof, so of course there may be changes prior to final publication.

Why I was interested in this book:
- I am a therapist by trade/credentials
- I'm always looking for nuggets of wisdom to pass on to clients
- It sounded really quite empowering

So, here's what I did and didn't like:
- I'm not real New Age in theoretical aspects
- However, it was relatively easy to flow with for people NOT of a new age transpersonal psychotherapy background.
- You will gain some good insight into all your types of relationships.
- You probably won't get much out of this book if you have NO insight and you're clueless about therapy, counseling, AND New Age concepts. If you're into one of the three, you're golden.
- Most things were explained relatively well that will be legitimately useful for most self-help book readers.

In the end, I've taken some nuggets of wisdom and advice for myself and for clients I may work with in the future, but this wasn't a keeper for me and I'm going to pass it on to another potentially interested reader.

[Rebecca · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a mildly insightful book, though I think most readers will come away with little more than a few common sense suggestions. The text is largely based on anecdotal information and seems to be missing a level of depth that is important for a really engaging experience. Overall, it's a quick, interesting, and worthwhile read, but ultimately this book offers little in the way of a lasting impact.

[Aroha Welsh · Rating 3 out of 5]

A deeper look into toxic relationships.....moving on from those relationship issues that bring you down, a good book interesting perspective.....keep an open mind.....very good to read for personal insight and growth....the author is a transpersonal psychotherapist.

[Drew Constance · Rating 3 out of 5]

Link to blog here:

http://bittenbybooklust.blogspot.com/...

[Candice Laidlow]

It was challenging to complete the exercise are really good.

[Nick · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very interesting.