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Some Nerve: Lessons Learned While Becoming Brave
One woman's quest to conquer her fears and embrace life and to inspire others to do the same Patty Chang Anker grew up eager to please and afraid to fail. But after thirty-nine years, she decided it was time to stop being a chicken. Motivated initially to become a better role model for her two young daughters, she vowed to face the fears that had taken root like weeds, choking the fun and spontaneity out of life. She learned to dive into a swimming pool, ride a bike, do a handstand, and surf. As she shared her experiences, she discovered that most people suffer from their own secret terrors of driving, flying, heights, public speaking, and more. It became her mission to help others do what they thought they couldn't, and to feel for themselves the powerful sense of being alive that is the true reward of becoming brave. Inspired and inspiring, Some Nerve draws on Anker's interviews with teachers, therapists, coaches, and clergy to impart both practical advice and profound wisdom. Through her own journey and the stories of dozens of others who have triumphed over common fears, she conveys with humor and infectious exhilaration the most vital lesson of all: Fear isn't an end point, but the point of entry to a life of incomparable joy.
368 pages, Hardcover
First published October 10, 2013
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1297 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews
October 31, 2017
This is the book that talks about how to face your fears, at least those you really would like to tackle. When you want to face them because you want to set a good example for your kids (like the author who has two daughters), because they hinder your life from being something more, or for any other reason. The author - who blogs, writes for a magazine and teaches yoga - decided it was time to tackle some fears, and she does it well, and hilariously. You do feel you get to know the author as the book goes on, and you get some inspiration to face your own fears at the same time.
Although the book is by a woman in her forties, this book works well for men too, and for people of other ages. That's how I felt, though the author has temperament different from mine - nothing in it annoyed me like with some other self-help personalities who put their life among their guides...
The fears included here are boogie boarding, clutter, swimming, public speaking, biking, driving, surfing, death, and heights. There are more example of fears in the index, to give one some further ideas, plus there is an interview at the end that gives you tips and ideas how to go on with your own challenges. The author's case shows how inherited and old some fears can be, and how much her daughters are the push and the inspiration in facing her own fears. It's funny to read her inner protesting and what-ifs, the reader knows that they also have something similar in their own head! ;)
One thing I noticed was that with some of these fears (at least) you do need to have some money to challenge them - the equipment, the course payment, the car travel costs, the plane travel - which can both prevent and push one towards fear-solving. Still, I'm sure there are still fear goals that can be done free or with little money.
Whatever the fear is, in the end many of them could be worth challenging, and this book brings a humorous, relatable push, if you let it. Very much worth it.
Although the book is by a woman in her forties, this book works well for men too, and for people of other ages. That's how I felt, though the author has temperament different from mine - nothing in it annoyed me like with some other self-help personalities who put their life among their guides...
The fears included here are boogie boarding, clutter, swimming, public speaking, biking, driving, surfing, death, and heights. There are more example of fears in the index, to give one some further ideas, plus there is an interview at the end that gives you tips and ideas how to go on with your own challenges. The author's case shows how inherited and old some fears can be, and how much her daughters are the push and the inspiration in facing her own fears. It's funny to read her inner protesting and what-ifs, the reader knows that they also have something similar in their own head! ;)
One thing I noticed was that with some of these fears (at least) you do need to have some money to challenge them - the equipment, the course payment, the car travel costs, the plane travel - which can both prevent and push one towards fear-solving. Still, I'm sure there are still fear goals that can be done free or with little money.
Whatever the fear is, in the end many of them could be worth challenging, and this book brings a humorous, relatable push, if you let it. Very much worth it.
October 27, 2013
Review first published on my blog: http://memoriesfrombooks.blogspot.com...
Patty Chang Anker is the creator of the blog Facing Forty Upside Down and the mother of two daughters. Close to her fortieth birthday, she undertook a mission to try things she never had before and to overcome some of her fears in order to be a better role model for her daughters. Along her journey, she met and learned from other people facing similar fears. So, she set out to learn more and see if her input could help others conquer their own fears.
This book is a compilation of her research and her experiences. She includes numerous stories from friends and people she has met along the way. She also includes information gathered from therapists and other experts who can shed light on this journey.
Overall, the stories are interesting, and most people can find things to relate to - whether in the fact that we overcome a fear or in the fact that we feel the fear. Two things I feel are missing for the book. First, the fears that the book addresses are pragmatic ones - fear of water, public speaking, heights, and even death. An entire world of fears exist that are just as common but less concrete - fear of loss, abandonment, etc - and not surmountable by doing what scares you. Overcoming those fears is also a key element of becoming brave. I wish that book addressed at least some aspect of these more nebulous fears.
Second, the book has a very pragmatic tone. The book presents evidence and data from many different sources and tells many different stories. The number of stories decreases the level of depth in any one story. I would have preferred fewer, but in depth stories that delve deeper into the process. Overcoming any fear is very much an emotional journey, and I wish the book conveyed that emotion in a stronger way.
*** Reviewed for the LibraryThing Early Reviewers Program ***
Patty Chang Anker is the creator of the blog Facing Forty Upside Down and the mother of two daughters. Close to her fortieth birthday, she undertook a mission to try things she never had before and to overcome some of her fears in order to be a better role model for her daughters. Along her journey, she met and learned from other people facing similar fears. So, she set out to learn more and see if her input could help others conquer their own fears.
This book is a compilation of her research and her experiences. She includes numerous stories from friends and people she has met along the way. She also includes information gathered from therapists and other experts who can shed light on this journey.
Overall, the stories are interesting, and most people can find things to relate to - whether in the fact that we overcome a fear or in the fact that we feel the fear. Two things I feel are missing for the book. First, the fears that the book addresses are pragmatic ones - fear of water, public speaking, heights, and even death. An entire world of fears exist that are just as common but less concrete - fear of loss, abandonment, etc - and not surmountable by doing what scares you. Overcoming those fears is also a key element of becoming brave. I wish that book addressed at least some aspect of these more nebulous fears.
Second, the book has a very pragmatic tone. The book presents evidence and data from many different sources and tells many different stories. The number of stories decreases the level of depth in any one story. I would have preferred fewer, but in depth stories that delve deeper into the process. Overcoming any fear is very much an emotional journey, and I wish the book conveyed that emotion in a stronger way.
*** Reviewed for the LibraryThing Early Reviewers Program ***
January 7, 2016
Equal parts memoir, self help, and get-off-your-ass inspiration, Ms. Anker's SOME NERVE hits... uh, all the right nerves. Her highly relatable experiences while attempting to conquer simple things (decluttering her house, learning to ride a bike) to the fears she and I have in common (public speaking, heights, death) are so honest, self-effacing, - and funny - that I just wanted to hug her at times.
As a late blooming fear conqueror myself, Ms. Anker had me feeling her panic, her joy, and triumph as I eagerly turned each page. Unlike me (I basically fling myself at what I fear most), Patty is methodical and shares the invaluable tips learned from experts (and folks sailing along with her in the fear boat) that she met throughout her adventures.
Ms. Anker's journey teaches us that life is fine - no - wonderful when you step outside of your comfort zone!
As a late blooming fear conqueror myself, Ms. Anker had me feeling her panic, her joy, and triumph as I eagerly turned each page. Unlike me (I basically fling myself at what I fear most), Patty is methodical and shares the invaluable tips learned from experts (and folks sailing along with her in the fear boat) that she met throughout her adventures.
Ms. Anker's journey teaches us that life is fine - no - wonderful when you step outside of your comfort zone!
October 22, 2013
Laugh-out-loud funny with a surprising amount of depth to it.
Patty Chang Anker’s decision to go out and face her fears is fueled by her desire to be a better role model for her daughters and she goes after that desire with a passion that helps her face those fears (and overcome extreme clumsiness) while inspiring others to follow her example.
She gives examples and ideas from several different schools of thought, leaving readers to decide on their own what would fit them better. Each case is fleshed out not only with her own experiences, but she manages to find people who share their own fears and successes.
All written in a witty and entertaining way that feels like you’re sitting with the author in a coffee shop while she tells stories to enlighten and entertain.
At the end, it left me feeling entertained and like I should go out and DO something.
What more can one ask for?
Edit 10/22/2013: I forgot to mention that I got my copy from Goodread's First Reads.
Patty Chang Anker’s decision to go out and face her fears is fueled by her desire to be a better role model for her daughters and she goes after that desire with a passion that helps her face those fears (and overcome extreme clumsiness) while inspiring others to follow her example.
She gives examples and ideas from several different schools of thought, leaving readers to decide on their own what would fit them better. Each case is fleshed out not only with her own experiences, but she manages to find people who share their own fears and successes.
All written in a witty and entertaining way that feels like you’re sitting with the author in a coffee shop while she tells stories to enlighten and entertain.
At the end, it left me feeling entertained and like I should go out and DO something.
What more can one ask for?
Edit 10/22/2013: I forgot to mention that I got my copy from Goodread's First Reads.
March 27, 2024
I hate to give this book such a low rating but it took me over a month to finish and put me in a reading slump 🫠
October 16, 2013
What inspired Patty to try to become brave was the realization that her two daughters were inheriting her timid approach to life. Previously too afraid of failure to try new things, in this book Patty chronicles her adventures facing down her fears and those of others. With input from friends and experts, Patty shares her experience exploring everything from fears of public speaking to the fear of death.
I think of myself as a somewhat timid person, so I enjoy reading books about how to be brave. However, I’m not worried about suddenly finding myself in a war zone or other extraordinary circumstances that require death-defying heroism. I’m afraid of far more mundane things, like failing at something new I try at work. That made this book the perfect book for me to read. I am very grateful to Patty Anker for sharing her emotions so candidly while experiencing every day fears. Her motivations were inspiring; her interviews with experts were thought-provoking; and her thoughts were very relatable. It made me want to get out there and start doing things outside my comfort zone right away.
That said, this is less of a self-help kind of book than the title might suggest. It is very like (and I would therefore recommend it to fans of) both MWF Seeking BFF and The Happiness Project. The point isn’t to get specific advice. It’s to be inspired and to get a glimpse of how amazingly alike we are to other people, despite our differences. Differences like the way the authors of these three books have the ability to write such humorous, touching memoirs that do such a wonderful job capturing a bit of the human experience. Highly recommended.
This review first published on Doing Dewey.
I think of myself as a somewhat timid person, so I enjoy reading books about how to be brave. However, I’m not worried about suddenly finding myself in a war zone or other extraordinary circumstances that require death-defying heroism. I’m afraid of far more mundane things, like failing at something new I try at work. That made this book the perfect book for me to read. I am very grateful to Patty Anker for sharing her emotions so candidly while experiencing every day fears. Her motivations were inspiring; her interviews with experts were thought-provoking; and her thoughts were very relatable. It made me want to get out there and start doing things outside my comfort zone right away.
That said, this is less of a self-help kind of book than the title might suggest. It is very like (and I would therefore recommend it to fans of) both MWF Seeking BFF and The Happiness Project. The point isn’t to get specific advice. It’s to be inspired and to get a glimpse of how amazingly alike we are to other people, despite our differences. Differences like the way the authors of these three books have the ability to write such humorous, touching memoirs that do such a wonderful job capturing a bit of the human experience. Highly recommended.
This review first published on Doing Dewey.
December 19, 2013
As the mother of two young daughters, Anker realized that she didn’t want to be a “do as I say, not as I do” parent, and that she’d have a lot more credibility getting her kids to try intimidating new things if she was willing to as well. She wanted the girls to learn to swim, but she’d need to overcome her own fear of water in order to join them (and not be deterred by the broken foot she suffered during a trip to the beach with a friend); she took lessons in diving and surfing. A lifelong city girl, she learned to ride a bicycle so she could help teach her daughters how to do the same.
As she began facing her fears, and writing about her experiences while doing it, Anker came into contact with people who could help--and with people who wanted help to do what she was doing. Anker’s biggest fears concerned activities requiring physical skill, and while she didn’t experience some other common fears--such as flying, heights, and public speaking--she believed that they could be addressed with a similar combination of coaching, instruction, exposure, and gradual experience doing the scary thing. In moving from blog to book, Anker expanded her scope beyond her own efforts to include the stories of others who wanted to get out of their narrow, uncomfortable “comfort zones,” and were willing to share the process of doing so.
MORE: http://www.3rsblog.com/2013/12/book-t...
As she began facing her fears, and writing about her experiences while doing it, Anker came into contact with people who could help--and with people who wanted help to do what she was doing. Anker’s biggest fears concerned activities requiring physical skill, and while she didn’t experience some other common fears--such as flying, heights, and public speaking--she believed that they could be addressed with a similar combination of coaching, instruction, exposure, and gradual experience doing the scary thing. In moving from blog to book, Anker expanded her scope beyond her own efforts to include the stories of others who wanted to get out of their narrow, uncomfortable “comfort zones,” and were willing to share the process of doing so.
MORE: http://www.3rsblog.com/2013/12/book-t...
August 25, 2013
Tired of living her live in fear of failure, Patty Chang Anker decides it's time to stop being a chicken. She realizes that if she doesn't want her two daughters to live fearfully, she had better change her own perspective and be an example for them. Anker takes on the activities that scare her the most -- like the water, public speaking and her clutter-filled house, and as she blogs about her experiences, she finds that her stories are inspiring to others.
I love the idea of facing your fears at 40, of taking control of your life and making it what you want it to be. I admire Anker a lot. I love her courage and drive. She is a good writer and has a nice relatable style. But the book itself didn't do much for me. I was hooked in to the beginning of each chapter with Anker's story and dilemma, but then the chapter would go on so long with information about that particular phobia and other people who had it and I'd lose interest and find myself skimming to the end of the chapter to see how she eventually conquers the fear. And it was that way throughout the book. Maybe it's my mood right now, but I would have liked shorter, punchier chapters rather than long, drawn-out rambles. Obviously, I am in the minority as the other reviewers seem to be loving the book, so while there is clearly an audience for this book, it was just not for me I'm sorry to say.
I love the idea of facing your fears at 40, of taking control of your life and making it what you want it to be. I admire Anker a lot. I love her courage and drive. She is a good writer and has a nice relatable style. But the book itself didn't do much for me. I was hooked in to the beginning of each chapter with Anker's story and dilemma, but then the chapter would go on so long with information about that particular phobia and other people who had it and I'd lose interest and find myself skimming to the end of the chapter to see how she eventually conquers the fear. And it was that way throughout the book. Maybe it's my mood right now, but I would have liked shorter, punchier chapters rather than long, drawn-out rambles. Obviously, I am in the minority as the other reviewers seem to be loving the book, so while there is clearly an audience for this book, it was just not for me I'm sorry to say.
August 4, 2016
I really like the author, Patty Chang Anker (and no, I don't know her in real life). Though over a decade apart in age, I relate to her experiences growing up as an ethnically Chinese girl in the West (who preferred books to the sciences!), and thus what appealed to me most about "Some Nerve" were Patty's personal stories - about her parents, her early marriage to her high school sweetheart, and her two daughters adopted from China.
What was decidedly less appealing to me were the stories of almost everyone else in this book - just too many names, too many examples of overcoming fears (and too many fears related to water - a chapter each on fear of boogie boarding, water, diving - it felt repetitious). Since she introduced us to most of these extra characters on the spot, it was hard for me to care very much about how they overcame their fears. I was also annoyed as I thought there would be more of Patty herself. Anyway, also distracting was the frequent internal monologue, presented in italics and often referred to as "the Greek Chorus." (I kept thinking of the references to "my inner goddess" in 50 Shades of Grey - same distraction!).
Overall, a good, sincere story about facing your fears at an older age. I greatly admire her bravery!
What was decidedly less appealing to me were the stories of almost everyone else in this book - just too many names, too many examples of overcoming fears (and too many fears related to water - a chapter each on fear of boogie boarding, water, diving - it felt repetitious). Since she introduced us to most of these extra characters on the spot, it was hard for me to care very much about how they overcame their fears. I was also annoyed as I thought there would be more of Patty herself. Anyway, also distracting was the frequent internal monologue, presented in italics and often referred to as "the Greek Chorus." (I kept thinking of the references to "my inner goddess" in 50 Shades of Grey - same distraction!).
Overall, a good, sincere story about facing your fears at an older age. I greatly admire her bravery!
August 27, 2013
You’ll love this book: it’s passionate, it’s poignant, it’s hilarious, and it’s well researched. In two months you won’t be able to go anywhere and not here about it—very few debut books are sure to make the NY Times Best Seller List—this is one of them. Here’s what Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love has to say: “With humor, humility and (most of all) self-compassion, Anker tells a compelling story of everyday courage—one that is sure to touch and help countless other people like her, like me, like all of us who have made worry into an art form. She proves that it's not too late, that we can truly change ourselves and enlarge our worlds as a result.”
So pass the stoke!
So pass the stoke!
March 16, 2014
Everyone needs a little boost in bravery now and again. This book will get you on your feet and out in the world trying all the things that scare you. The author uses herself as the main guinea pig but also includes her family and friends. She talks about fear of water, public speaking, driving/biking, heights, and even death. One of the most interesting discussions was about the fear of throwing things away and how cluttering is different from actual hoarding. The main anecdote for fear is learning to work through it rather than getting down about it or trying to make it go away. Above all, the author reminds us that it is never too late to try.
January 10, 2014
Not an earth shattering read; I didn't learn anything new but it was a good read and a comfort to know that I'm not alone in some of my own fears and experiences as a mother.
June 16, 2023
Soooo…I caught myself thinking “ugh who wants to read a book about a 40 year old scaredy cat?” 🙄. And then felt totally terrible about thinking that because…I am a 40 year old scaredy cat!! The vision of me trying to go down hill in my mountain bike and having a complete freak out moment came to mind!! (I am not a mountain biker). So I did need parts of this book! It is important to live your best life! It’s important to face your fears. One of the people that helped her face a certain fear said to her that you need to do something out of your comfort zone so that your comfort zone becomes bigger and the bigger it gets the better you are and I can’t remember what else he said but I loved that!
The feeling of fear never goes away, it comes as surely as this wave in the next and the next. Fear is about self preservation…. But you can preserve yourself in a way that is glorious and expenansive and not limiting.”
Fall passionately in-love with the person you want to be
The feeling of fear never goes away, it comes as surely as this wave in the next and the next. Fear is about self preservation…. But you can preserve yourself in a way that is glorious and expenansive and not limiting.”
Fall passionately in-love with the person you want to be
April 5, 2020
I really enjoyed this book on confronting phobias, especially since I could identify with some that have cropped up since having children. Anker does a good job of addressing her personal fears-lots of water-based ones, heights, sports-related, driving, public speaking, death. While the author's voice and humorous tone are a real strength of the book, it necessarily leaves out other fears- socially-based ones, career-based, fear of lack, abandonment etc.. that are possibly harder to conquer than physical ones. Nonetheless, I loved this book for what it is and think that the principles could transfer to some extent. Be bold, take chances, listen to doubts and decide whether you want them to have the final word on your life. The audio is so funny and approachable, read by the author and an additional narrator.
May 21, 2023
Patty Chang Anker grew up eager to please and afraid to fail, and so as she approaches her fortieth year, she embarks on a journey to overcome her fears - everything from the ocean, to heights, to dying. As she explores each fear, she tells her own story, as well as sharing the stories of others, and pulls out information and research for the reader to discover and face their own fears.
I really liked this book and her stories were very interesting, but I don't know that it offered me anything new to think about. Still a good read though, especially if you struggle with one of the fears she takes you through.
I really liked this book and her stories were very interesting, but I don't know that it offered me anything new to think about. Still a good read though, especially if you struggle with one of the fears she takes you through.
June 7, 2017
Patty's self-deprecating humor is so welcome in this book about failures, worries and fears. Read about her journey through life, getting stronger while facing those moments that she would rather not look into.
You might also want to learn how to overcome your fear of heights, or death, or water, or bicycle riding or driving or public speaking or even clutter.
I loved hearing about how she became brave. It helped me think about situations that I avoid. The authors story gave me confidence!
You might also want to learn how to overcome your fear of heights, or death, or water, or bicycle riding or driving or public speaking or even clutter.
I loved hearing about how she became brave. It helped me think about situations that I avoid. The authors story gave me confidence!
November 8, 2022
This is kind of a memoir about the author's experiences doing things that she finds fearful. I really enjoyed reading her honest accounts about how the experience went and what she gained from each one.
Read
December 2, 2017Wasn’t bad but just wasn’t interesting enough to keep me.
August 12, 2018
This was a good book but it dragged some for me. Took me longer than usual to finish but I did enjoy reading about all the challenges she goes thru.
May 17, 2019
One woman's attempt to conquer her fears, from biking and driving to surfing and heights.
May 24, 2016
“How would life be different if we all knew we were earning As? That our process of learning, which includes making mistakes, was not something to be ashamed of but to be celebrated? What risks would we take? How excited would we be to try?” As much as I have told my own children that “you learn more from your mistakes than you do from your successes,” I still have to talk myself into trying something if I’m not sure I’m going to succeed. Patty Chang Anker, Asian-American child of a tiger mother, has even more trouble with that than I do. She says, “The girls (her daughters) and I have something in common. We have all been told our entire lives that we’re smart. Maybe because we’re Asian, the stereotype follows us. But there are two problems with this. One is that, if you actually are smart in some areas (which most people are), and things come easily to you there, you don’t get in the habit or working hard to figure things out. The second is that unless you really are gifted in every arena (and no one I know is), being told you’re smart makes looking or feeling dumb intolerable.” The author is, in this book, forcing herself out of her comfort zone, trying new things, trying to learn to be brave, both for herself and as a role model to her children. She wants her children to have something called self-efficacy, which is a different thing than self-worth, or self-esteem. Self-efficacy “is about believing you can achieve your goals…Every time we learn something new, we build a track record of success that builds self-efficacy, which means we have to keep trying things and not give up. Low self-efficacy breeds whenever we avoid things for fear of failing, and it has been linked to helplessness, anxiety, and depression.” And as for more physical fears, fears of being hurt or dying, she quotes Rabbi Heidi Hoover, “If we thought too much about how many people die in car crashes, we would walk everywhere. And if we thought about how many pedestrians get hit by cars, we would hide in our houses, lying in bed all day. And if we did that, we’d get afraid of our house burning down. And where does it end?” In the course of the book, Patty tackles surfing, public speaking, and a rope course, among other things, and observes and interviews other people tackling these and other fears. It’s a good read. It has made me think about my own panic-inducing fears and given my some food for thought about how to cope with them.
February 21, 2017
This book was a solid 4 stars for the first two thirds and then kind of edged down to three stars for the last third. Patty Chang Anker focuses on her own experiences for the first part of the book with a little bit of research thrown in to balance out the narrative. As the book continues, though, she dips further away from her own adventures and delves more into other people she knows and then the book kind of took a fact-heavy turn and the personal element seemed to get a little lost. I enjoyed reading about Anker's experiences and how she was using her new-found courage to encourage her daughters to be a bit more fearless.
March 22, 2014
I’m not supposed to enjoy or endorse Some Nerve because, as an outgoing, try-anything-once triathlete and Chief Books for Dudes reviewer, I’m supposed to scoff at such heartwarming, inspirational stuff. Anker is a nice girl who, though shy and timid, decides that she wants to inspire her two daughters to be a bit braver than she. So she chooses to face her fears by doing things that scare her—jumping off a diving board in a bathing suit, public speaking, riding a bike, stuff like that—and grits her teeth and accomplishes them. What, you say? That’s not bravery? Yes, the classic wisdom is that bravery is rushing into burning building to rescue a pet capybara/old woman/prized grandfather clock. But bravery is a relative term, one that applies differently to different folks. You could call Anker’s work overly girlish or formulaic or deride the inherent weaknesses that Anker so willingly exposes. But fear is a real thing. I have fears; you do too. Even Chuck Norris has fears. (Namely: me. That’s why he won’t write a book, because he’s afraid I will review it.) More to the point, Anker is completely, utterly, and totally charming in relating her transformation from a wallflower/fraidy cat to…well, a less fearful wallflower/fraidy cat. Not fearless, but definitely more fun-loving. She isn’t going to be wrasslin’ crocodiles or joining the Golden Knights parachuting team any time soon, but she nails public speaking and bike riding for sure. This is like a friend-to-friend pep talk (BYOB) that’s quite heartwarming and well written. As an example to her daughters— and the rest of us— to get a little further out on the edge and enjoy mild risks. Mission Accomplished. VERDICT A gentle, motivational read. Highly recommended.
Find this review and others at Books for Dudes, the online reader's advisory column for men from Library Journal where you'll find titles that are nothing like this one. Copyright Library Journal.
Find this review and others at Books for Dudes, the online reader's advisory column for men from Library Journal where you'll find titles that are nothing like this one. Copyright Library Journal.
November 30, 2015
I met Patty in the New York mountains -- through which the Esopus Creek flows -- at the Women at Woodstock 2015 retreat. The Esopus Creek almost killed her when she was 18, and that experience led to her fear of water. That was just one of many fears she decided to face when she neared 40.
This book shares her journey to becoming brave. Her writing is such that you are right there with her -- on the impossibly high diving board, in that moment between terror and joy on a surfboard and in the mouth-drying horror of her 12-year-old self realizing she should not have opened the door to a stranger.
"I believe in the power of stories to change minds, open hearts, connect people, and create a better world." (page 156)
She shares not only her own stories but those of others who have opened up about their fears. She interviews people who have had near-death experiences and what they learned. She goes along as they learn how to ride bicycles and as they do ropes courses in hopes of overcoming acrophobia. She goes along on a driving lesson with a woman who stopped driving after a horrible accident years before. By facing her fear of driving, she changed her story from being "I don't drive because I was in a bad accident" to "I'm learning how to drive." It transformed her life.
"The writer John McPhee describes the process of writing as going through a 'membrane' into a world that is not where you live. Talking with people about their fears is like that, too. Stepping back in time with them, into a moment when they were very vulnerable, is like being led by the hand into another dimension. It feels sacred to me." (page 297)
Patty writes as if being allowed into others' lives and to write about them is a sacred experience. As a reader, I'm right there with them, too, cheering them on and thrilling in their triumphs. On the surface, this book is about fears, but in the end it's really about stoke, joy, letting go and a massive celebration of life.
This book shares her journey to becoming brave. Her writing is such that you are right there with her -- on the impossibly high diving board, in that moment between terror and joy on a surfboard and in the mouth-drying horror of her 12-year-old self realizing she should not have opened the door to a stranger.
"I believe in the power of stories to change minds, open hearts, connect people, and create a better world." (page 156)
She shares not only her own stories but those of others who have opened up about their fears. She interviews people who have had near-death experiences and what they learned. She goes along as they learn how to ride bicycles and as they do ropes courses in hopes of overcoming acrophobia. She goes along on a driving lesson with a woman who stopped driving after a horrible accident years before. By facing her fear of driving, she changed her story from being "I don't drive because I was in a bad accident" to "I'm learning how to drive." It transformed her life.
"The writer John McPhee describes the process of writing as going through a 'membrane' into a world that is not where you live. Talking with people about their fears is like that, too. Stepping back in time with them, into a moment when they were very vulnerable, is like being led by the hand into another dimension. It feels sacred to me." (page 297)
Patty writes as if being allowed into others' lives and to write about them is a sacred experience. As a reader, I'm right there with them, too, cheering them on and thrilling in their triumphs. On the surface, this book is about fears, but in the end it's really about stoke, joy, letting go and a massive celebration of life.
October 31, 2013
Not everyone is afraid of the dark, or open water, or driving, or clowns. (Well, maybe clowns.) But everyone is afraid of something, and for many of us those fears change the way we engage with the world -- usually for the worse. Patty Chang Anker, a self-identified scaredy cat, decided to pour her anxieties and facing-forty fears into a successful blog and now the book Some Nerve: Lessons Learned While Becoming Brave.
Patty's powerful emotional connection with the isolating and numbing effects of everyday fears creates an enjoyable and funny narrative as she acknowledges how her "comfort zone" had come to define her boundaries as a parent and person. In the process of tackling her own challenges, she finds many fellow-fearing travelers who each approach their paralyzing activity (public speaking, a high-ropes course, surfing) with a mixture of moxie and white knuckles. She draws on a wide circle of experts and acquaintances (a classmate lost at sea, a triumvirate of clergy, a no-nonsense female driving instructor) to help illuminate the ways fear can keep us from being our best selves.
Almost all readers will be able to find something familiar from their own experience in Patty's book, although some fears may be more remote than others. Few of her topics reflect existential fears like poverty, hunger and homelessness -- there is an extended meditation on fear of death, but that's more universal than specific (except for the amazing, heart-pounding lost-at-sea story mentioned above). Still, the overall experience of Some Nerve is affirming, engaging and joyful. Highly recommended!
Patty's powerful emotional connection with the isolating and numbing effects of everyday fears creates an enjoyable and funny narrative as she acknowledges how her "comfort zone" had come to define her boundaries as a parent and person. In the process of tackling her own challenges, she finds many fellow-fearing travelers who each approach their paralyzing activity (public speaking, a high-ropes course, surfing) with a mixture of moxie and white knuckles. She draws on a wide circle of experts and acquaintances (a classmate lost at sea, a triumvirate of clergy, a no-nonsense female driving instructor) to help illuminate the ways fear can keep us from being our best selves.
Almost all readers will be able to find something familiar from their own experience in Patty's book, although some fears may be more remote than others. Few of her topics reflect existential fears like poverty, hunger and homelessness -- there is an extended meditation on fear of death, but that's more universal than specific (except for the amazing, heart-pounding lost-at-sea story mentioned above). Still, the overall experience of Some Nerve is affirming, engaging and joyful. Highly recommended!
December 4, 2015
Mildly interesting look at how one person managed her anxieties. I saw myself in the author. Author Anker has many of the same anxieties and fears the rest of us have: public speaking, death, heights, etc. There are others: learning how to ride a bike, how to swim, etc. She decided to try to conquer her fears so she could be a better role model for her daughters. This is her story of how she went about it, along with the stories of some others.
Many will identify with a lot. Maybe some avoided it out of embarrassment or a really bad experience. Maybe others couldn't take lessons or didn't have access to a pool so they couldn't learn how to swim. There's probably a little something for everyone: adult or child (although the book is definitely geared towards adults).
However, I was a little disappointed. The sections get a bit repetitive in talking about the fear, what someone does to overcome it, some of the challenges, how to manage the anxiety, etc.I thought there might be a bit more on how people can overcome their fears, but it's more about the personal stories intertwined with that. It wasn't something that really gripped me.
That said, it's nice to see her undertake this project for herself and her family. I personally didn't get a lot out of it, but it seems like the author did. I'd recommend it as a library borrow (especially if you have a particular fear/anxiety she covers), but I don't think it's meant to be a "self-help" book.
Many will identify with a lot. Maybe some avoided it out of embarrassment or a really bad experience. Maybe others couldn't take lessons or didn't have access to a pool so they couldn't learn how to swim. There's probably a little something for everyone: adult or child (although the book is definitely geared towards adults).
However, I was a little disappointed. The sections get a bit repetitive in talking about the fear, what someone does to overcome it, some of the challenges, how to manage the anxiety, etc.I thought there might be a bit more on how people can overcome their fears, but it's more about the personal stories intertwined with that. It wasn't something that really gripped me.
That said, it's nice to see her undertake this project for herself and her family. I personally didn't get a lot out of it, but it seems like the author did. I'd recommend it as a library borrow (especially if you have a particular fear/anxiety she covers), but I don't think it's meant to be a "self-help" book.
August 18, 2014
At first I was disappointed with the book as I looked at the table of contents and didn't see any of the fears I hold, except for death. However, I really warmed up to this author. Her writing style is so conversational and honest that you can't help but smile along with what she is saying. My favorite chapter was the one on surfing. Got me excited to go out for my third run no matter what age I am, maybe even on a Great Lake! (Who knew that was POSSIBLE!)This is a great read for anyone who has ever been afraid to lose or do something. Get out and ENJOY life!
"Love the people who love you back. Love the things that help you grow. Love the open windows and all the surprises yet to come. Let everything else go."
"How would life be different if we all knew we were earning A's? That our process of learning, which includes making mistakes, was not something to be ashamed of but to be celebrated? What risks would we take? How excited would we be to try?"
"Don't fixate on the thing you fear- keep your eye on where you want to go!"
"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart" -Steve Jobs
"We all want to protect those we love, but we can't shelter them from life and death. We can only hope to teach them, and to learn ourselves, how to be strong to the end..."
"Love the people who love you back. Love the things that help you grow. Love the open windows and all the surprises yet to come. Let everything else go."
"How would life be different if we all knew we were earning A's? That our process of learning, which includes making mistakes, was not something to be ashamed of but to be celebrated? What risks would we take? How excited would we be to try?"
"Don't fixate on the thing you fear- keep your eye on where you want to go!"
"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart" -Steve Jobs
"We all want to protect those we love, but we can't shelter them from life and death. We can only hope to teach them, and to learn ourselves, how to be strong to the end..."
February 18, 2016
A friend posted this book on her "to read" list...and I found the title intriguing. As someone who suffers from anxiety, I could use more nerve. I hoped this book would explore why anxiety exists....and how to get more nerve, but instead the author wrote about how she accomplished a couple of her fears (like organizing(??)) and how she convinced (forced??) some of her friends to confront their fears. Was it interesting? Yes....Was she funny (as many people claimed in their reviews?)? NO. I didn't once chuckle, laugh or giggle....but I did search for the humor and most attempts were forced. She also was quite....hmmm....forceful? She decided it was time to convince (make) her friends/acquaintances approach their fears....and I found this a bit off-putting. Fear is something that is private (in my opinion) and needs to be confronted in its own time....
She did overcome her fear of the water....organizing, riding a bike....and then surfing. All good attacks, though not things I can relate to.
Read--- if you want to explore what you are scared of and debate whether you are ready to test your boundaries.
She did overcome her fear of the water....organizing, riding a bike....and then surfing. All good attacks, though not things I can relate to.
Read--- if you want to explore what you are scared of and debate whether you are ready to test your boundaries.
October 16, 2013
Everyone can read a book like this and state his or her opinion based on their life experiences so I would never say "Go out and read this book it will change your life" or "This book is a waste and sounds like every other life book". A book has an effect on your based on your own life experiences, so for me, this book hit a cord.
It took me close to 30 years to learn how to stand up for myself to everyone in my life, so I have much appreciation and understand of the later in life steps toward the greatest in yourself. Not everyone can say that.
I think this book relates to the people who have really had to live life (this means the good, the bad, and the ugly) and not just skate through being lead by someone else. If that person is you, this book would be a good read for you. Now for the skaters... keep on trucking. You'll hate this book just on the basis and nit pick every little thing. The author and the reads of this book don't need your negative nancy wanna be critic views so just keep on going.
It took me close to 30 years to learn how to stand up for myself to everyone in my life, so I have much appreciation and understand of the later in life steps toward the greatest in yourself. Not everyone can say that.
I think this book relates to the people who have really had to live life (this means the good, the bad, and the ugly) and not just skate through being lead by someone else. If that person is you, this book would be a good read for you. Now for the skaters... keep on trucking. You'll hate this book just on the basis and nit pick every little thing. The author and the reads of this book don't need your negative nancy wanna be critic views so just keep on going.
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