What do you think?
Rate this book
Throw the Damn Ball: Classic Poetry by Dogs
A hilarious collection of poetry by dogs- perfect for lovers of literature and pups alike.
128 pages, Hardcover
First published October 29, 2013
18 people are currently reading
229 people want to read
About the author
R.D. Rosen
20 books32 followersRichard Dean Rosen's writing career spans mystery novels, narrative nonfiction, humor books, and television. Strike Three You're Dead (1984), the first in Rosen's series featuring major league baseball player Harvey Blissberg, won the Edgar Award for Best First Novel from the Mystery Writers of America in 1985. Blissberg's adventures continued in four sequels, including Fadeaway (1986) and Saturday Night Dead (1988), which drew on Rosen's stint as a writer for Saturday Night Live.
Rosen's three nonfiction books include Psychobabble (1979), inspired by the term he coined, and A Buffalo in the House: The True Story of a Man, an Animal, and the American West (2007). Over the past decade, he co-created and co-wrote a bestselling series of humor books: Bad Cat, Bad Dog, Bad Baby, and Bad President.
He attended Brown University and graduated from Harvard College.
Rosen's three nonfiction books include Psychobabble (1979), inspired by the term he coined, and A Buffalo in the House: The True Story of a Man, an Animal, and the American West (2007). Over the past decade, he co-created and co-wrote a bestselling series of humor books: Bad Cat, Bad Dog, Bad Baby, and Bad President.
He attended Brown University and graduated from Harvard College.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews
April 5, 2020
An enjoyable collection, though the last page can be a bit of a shock if you're not expecting it.
February 11, 2019
Any attempt to make puppy-duppies look cute and cuddly will not go unnoticed from an animal lover like me. Having said that, these poems, which are from the point of view of dogs, feel like they’re trying too hard in that respect. They’re parodies of classic poetry, but the classics didn’t age well enough to translate into cute nor funny take-offs. Most of the humor comes from the dogs acting like spoiled divas and saying cruel things to their owners. Even more of the humor is of the toilet variety. Poop, pee, drool, raunchy sex, you name it, it has a poor joke somewhere in this book. A small minority of the poetry is funny when it’s talking about chasing things or being cuddly, but most of the time, it’s either childish toilet humor or dogs being jerks to their owners. I wanted to smile at some of these poems. I wanted to laugh my head off. But I just couldn’t. At least the dog pictures are cute, but that’s pretty much the only redeeming quality this book has to offer. I would have given a more extensive review than just one paragraph, but there’s really not much here to analyze. I know it was written just for fun, but I’m not having fun with them. I’m bored to tears and I’m cringing into a tight ball. A failing grade goes to this poor outing.
April 21, 2016
Who knew there lurks a poet inside every pooch?
However, not all dogs are good at the rhyming game; some are more Rod McKuen than Robert Frost. And some of these poems only work with the accompanying photograph. I did find a few I loved, and, well, you know me . . . they tended to be of a racier nature. Those of you with more genteel, sensitive natures should leave. Right now.
I AM DOG, HEAR MY GROWLS
I am dog hear my growls.
Something's happening in my bowels
I hope you have some paper towels.
MY FAVORITE TOY
My precious toy, soaked with saliva and pee.
Here, take it - I dare you - and throw it to me.
PHILOSOPHICAL
Do I look like I've been caught
Deep in thought and with emotion fraught?
As if some distant land I've charted?
Don't be fooled. It's just that I've farted.
LICKING MY BALLS ON A SNOWY EVENING
Please don't think me queer
That I can bring to my crotch my face
so near.
And no comments when I give my balls
a shake.
Don't tell me there's been some big
mistake.
Because he, you know, who has to tote 'em
Has the right to lick his scrotum.
So pardon me as I enjoy a small snack
By nibbling on my precious ball sac.
I've honestly never seen a better rhyme for "scrotum." Have you?
I SAW YOU ONCE
I saw you once across a snowy field
That beneath a patina of ice had
congealed.
Your glance thwarted my heart and
my senses reeled.
I felt as though our fates were sealed.
Your aroma still lingers in the
frosty air.
I've barked your name too many
times to count.
Where did you go? It isn't fair.
You looked like you'd be good to mount.
Yeah, that last line doesn't usually work for human guys, either.
And one more, very sweet one. (You sensitive souls may come back and read this poem!)
UNCONDITIONAL
Here's how you can tell that I love you much more
Than your ungrateful children or hectoring wife:
When you walk, as you do every night, through the door,
It's the happiest moment of this doggie's life.
These are great for reading aloud to your furry significant other . . . if you have that sort of relationship.
However, not all dogs are good at the rhyming game; some are more Rod McKuen than Robert Frost. And some of these poems only work with the accompanying photograph. I did find a few I loved, and, well, you know me . . . they tended to be of a racier nature. Those of you with more genteel, sensitive natures should leave. Right now.
I AM DOG, HEAR MY GROWLS
I am dog hear my growls.
Something's happening in my bowels
I hope you have some paper towels.
MY FAVORITE TOY
My precious toy, soaked with saliva and pee.
Here, take it - I dare you - and throw it to me.
PHILOSOPHICAL
Do I look like I've been caught
Deep in thought and with emotion fraught?
As if some distant land I've charted?
Don't be fooled. It's just that I've farted.
LICKING MY BALLS ON A SNOWY EVENING
Please don't think me queer
That I can bring to my crotch my face
so near.
And no comments when I give my balls
a shake.
Don't tell me there's been some big
mistake.
Because he, you know, who has to tote 'em
Has the right to lick his scrotum.
So pardon me as I enjoy a small snack
By nibbling on my precious ball sac.
I've honestly never seen a better rhyme for "scrotum." Have you?
I SAW YOU ONCE
I saw you once across a snowy field
That beneath a patina of ice had
congealed.
Your glance thwarted my heart and
my senses reeled.
I felt as though our fates were sealed.
Your aroma still lingers in the
frosty air.
I've barked your name too many
times to count.
Where did you go? It isn't fair.
You looked like you'd be good to mount.
Yeah, that last line doesn't usually work for human guys, either.
And one more, very sweet one. (You sensitive souls may come back and read this poem!)
UNCONDITIONAL
Here's how you can tell that I love you much more
Than your ungrateful children or hectoring wife:
When you walk, as you do every night, through the door,
It's the happiest moment of this doggie's life.
These are great for reading aloud to your furry significant other . . . if you have that sort of relationship.
December 6, 2013
Let your lit-loving pooch share the couch with you for a read-aloud of this collection--poems from the canine perspective accompanied by photos of dogs being dogs. Most of the focus is on food, sticks, toys and body and potty humor, which is where it's at for dogs! I especially enjoyed the many homages to famous poems, at least the ones which even I recognized: "Whose Ball This is I Think I Know", "Do not go gentle into that dog run", "I think that I shall never see/ A poem as lovely as a half-eaten sandwich", and from 'Growl': "I saw the best of my generation/ barking madly moonward". Five paws for this one!
April 17, 2014
Cute photo collection with poetry written in the style of famous poets. Mostly funny, in parts surprisingly crude, but a neat idea. Here's my favorite couplet from a poem called "Ode to Odes":
Hey, it is supposed to be written by a dog.
Nothing compares to discovering a sonnet
That moves me so much that I want to pee on it
Hey, it is supposed to be written by a dog.
December 27, 2017
Poetry "written" by dogs, focusing on toilet humor. It gets thin really fast.
October 11, 2013
Just received my ARC and I must say, some of these poems are dead on. I can totally see my dogs in more than one of these poems. "Throw the damn ball" was especially accurate for my Doberman. Great book for dog lovers of all ages.
December 29, 2019
Throw the Damn Ball is a short and small popular book that is very easy to read. This includes a short poem on each page that accompanies a photo of a dog, where the poem is supposed to be a representation of what the dog might be thinking in the photo.
This book is marketed to all dog lovers, and tries to capture a wide net with its general readership intentions. I thought some of the poems were cute or funny, but often the photo was low quality or the poem just did not land right. This is fine to give a dog-lover as a stocking stuffer or something, but I would never buy it for myself and I will not be gifting it to anyone else.
I definitely recommend reading a couple pages before purchasing to make sure it is your kind of thing. This is definitely not something I think people will want to read more than once, for instance.
This book is marketed to all dog lovers, and tries to capture a wide net with its general readership intentions. I thought some of the poems were cute or funny, but often the photo was low quality or the poem just did not land right. This is fine to give a dog-lover as a stocking stuffer or something, but I would never buy it for myself and I will not be gifting it to anyone else.
I definitely recommend reading a couple pages before purchasing to make sure it is your kind of thing. This is definitely not something I think people will want to read more than once, for instance.
February 5, 2020
Some of these poems are funny and some are thoughtful or sweet. I did not particularly enjoy ones where the dogs were judgmental or shaming their humans. Overall, an enjoyable quick read for dog lovers and a very creative idea.
September 30, 2024
I love this book, it is very funny and inappropriate and stupid at the same time and its awesome. My favorite one had to be the one called "Throw The Damn Ball" It is the one I can relate to the most because of all the waiting I have to do for stuff like packages and whatnot to come in.
August 28, 2017
Super cheesy poems, but some of the pictures were cute. "Licking My Balls on a Snowy Evening" was probably the funniest one.
November 10, 2017
A fun break from serious stories
January 4, 2018
Hilarious!
June 2, 2018
Who knew our furry friends were so talented!?
January 17, 2019
Down and dog gone funny. Photos are as much a treat as the book.
If you are a dog person, a must read.
If you are a dog person, a must read.
February 21, 2019
Not great literature, but fun. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
March 8, 2019
Anyone that's ever had a dog will love this
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 6, 2019
Poetry for dogs. An outrageously funny collection
April 14, 2020
Without a question the finest collection of work by Canine-American poets
February 3, 2022
I love dogs.
Read
February 10, 2022sometimes adorbs, sometimes weird
December 26, 2023
A clever and fun little book filled with of hilarious pictures of dogs.
August 3, 2024
These are the cutest poems. I love opening up to a random page and reading a poem when I'm having a bad day.
May 4, 2025
I read this to my nephew. He’s a dog. He liked it. Especially the poem that was just barks. That one really caught his attention.
January 2, 2026
love these cute dog themed poems ❤️
November 14, 2013
Throw the Damn Ball: Classic Poetry by Dogs, by R. Rosen, Harry Prichett, and Rob Battles (Penguin Publishing, 2013, 117 pages, $15)
One hundred twelve original poems by(?), for and about dogs, if I counted correctly. And the same number of dog photos, mostly dressed to the nines. (Hmmm, that’s how many lives cats have. I wonder if there is a correlation there?)
I once paraphrased Hamlet’s entire soliloquy to reflect cramming for a human anatomy and physiology exam and went on to rewrite much of Robert Frost in the same manner. If that intrigues you, Throw the Damn Ball will also entertain you and very cleverly so.
Throw is a book for a couple of underrepresented segments of our society: teenaged boys and English majors. The former for the liberal scatological references and the latter, for the fractured poetry (at least some opening lines) by famous poets, all members of POEM (the Professional Organization of English Majors) like the aforementioned Frost, the ubiquitous Emily Dickinson, along with Dylan Thomas, William Butler Yeats, William Carlos Williams (don’t you just love people with same first names as last names?), the departed John Dunne, Allen Ginsberg, Joyce Kilmer, and, yes, even Helen Reddy, among others.
Pee, Poop and Flatulence
What are dogs interested in? Pee and food. Some study poop while humans are embarrassed by both, as well as flatulence. Therefore, this book. And, since two of the authors have been on NPR (National Public Radio), I would not be surprised to hear one or more of these classic canine poems on air.
Perhaps a milder one like “I think that I shall never see
“A poem as lovely as a half-eaten sandwich
"That’s been on the sidewalk for hours,
"Absorbing a rainbow of footwear odors, . . . .”
(Disclaimer: This was a First Reads book.)
One hundred twelve original poems by(?), for and about dogs, if I counted correctly. And the same number of dog photos, mostly dressed to the nines. (Hmmm, that’s how many lives cats have. I wonder if there is a correlation there?)
I once paraphrased Hamlet’s entire soliloquy to reflect cramming for a human anatomy and physiology exam and went on to rewrite much of Robert Frost in the same manner. If that intrigues you, Throw the Damn Ball will also entertain you and very cleverly so.
Throw is a book for a couple of underrepresented segments of our society: teenaged boys and English majors. The former for the liberal scatological references and the latter, for the fractured poetry (at least some opening lines) by famous poets, all members of POEM (the Professional Organization of English Majors) like the aforementioned Frost, the ubiquitous Emily Dickinson, along with Dylan Thomas, William Butler Yeats, William Carlos Williams (don’t you just love people with same first names as last names?), the departed John Dunne, Allen Ginsberg, Joyce Kilmer, and, yes, even Helen Reddy, among others.
Pee, Poop and Flatulence
What are dogs interested in? Pee and food. Some study poop while humans are embarrassed by both, as well as flatulence. Therefore, this book. And, since two of the authors have been on NPR (National Public Radio), I would not be surprised to hear one or more of these classic canine poems on air.
Perhaps a milder one like “I think that I shall never see
“A poem as lovely as a half-eaten sandwich
"That’s been on the sidewalk for hours,
"Absorbing a rainbow of footwear odors, . . . .”
(Disclaimer: This was a First Reads book.)
January 16, 2016
“Dogs seldom make passes
At dogs passing gasses.”
Are these the words of Dorothy Parker? Ogden Nash?
Nope, the author is Sparky from Milton, Pennsylvania. Sparky, Snowy, Tucker, Louie, these canine laureates have written a volume of poetry displaying the brilliance and wit we’ve always suspected our dogs were hiding from us.
Dollycas’s Thoughts
While the pooches in the pictures are adorable I didn’t “howl with joy, bark with laughter or beg for more” as the back cover says I would do. Yes, a couple of the “poems” were clever most just left me shaking my head, thinking am I really taking time to read these. I can truly believe they were written by dogs so I guess the human authors/editors accomplished what they set out to do. The introduction as us to “Be open-minded. Embrace the dogs efforts to be better understood.” I know the point is humor and not actual literature, it just wasn’t the book for me.
Here’s a sample:
My Big Bone
Chew, chew, chew, chew
Lick, lick, lick, lick
Gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw
And so it goes
My big bone
~Mickey
(Picture shows a cute medium size dog with a big bone.)
Many people keep books like this in the bathroom. That is where I think it belongs. Maybe read in small doses it would be more enjoyable. And I do love dogs!! I will take doggy hugs and kisses anytime, they just don’t have to try to impress with any type of poetic verse.
Note: While the dog pictures are very cute this is definitely NOT a child friendly book!!
At dogs passing gasses.”
Are these the words of Dorothy Parker? Ogden Nash?
Nope, the author is Sparky from Milton, Pennsylvania. Sparky, Snowy, Tucker, Louie, these canine laureates have written a volume of poetry displaying the brilliance and wit we’ve always suspected our dogs were hiding from us.
Dollycas’s Thoughts
While the pooches in the pictures are adorable I didn’t “howl with joy, bark with laughter or beg for more” as the back cover says I would do. Yes, a couple of the “poems” were clever most just left me shaking my head, thinking am I really taking time to read these. I can truly believe they were written by dogs so I guess the human authors/editors accomplished what they set out to do. The introduction as us to “Be open-minded. Embrace the dogs efforts to be better understood.” I know the point is humor and not actual literature, it just wasn’t the book for me.
Here’s a sample:
My Big Bone
Chew, chew, chew, chew
Lick, lick, lick, lick
Gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw
And so it goes
My big bone
~Mickey
(Picture shows a cute medium size dog with a big bone.)
Many people keep books like this in the bathroom. That is where I think it belongs. Maybe read in small doses it would be more enjoyable. And I do love dogs!! I will take doggy hugs and kisses anytime, they just don’t have to try to impress with any type of poetic verse.
Note: While the dog pictures are very cute this is definitely NOT a child friendly book!!
January 11, 2014
4.5 stars
“Throw the Damn Ball: Classic Poetry by Dogs” by R.D. Rosen, Harry Prichett and Rob Battles is a fun book that combines photographs of various canines and poetical musings that have ostensibly been penned by them. The poems range from pithy comments about the environment, toys provided, clothes forced upon the reluctant wearer and...maybe even a sound poet (Rrrruuuuhhh)...to raps, rhymes and blank verse. What a fun book that adeptly matches the breeds and expressions to the type of poem, and gives a voice to those funny creatures who look at the world in an entirely different manner. There is even an invitation to submit photos of your own dog or cat for inclusion in future tomes or other publications. What a great way to celebrate the companion animal.
submitted to Night Owl Reviews
a copy was provided in exchange for an honest review
“Throw the Damn Ball: Classic Poetry by Dogs” by R.D. Rosen, Harry Prichett and Rob Battles is a fun book that combines photographs of various canines and poetical musings that have ostensibly been penned by them. The poems range from pithy comments about the environment, toys provided, clothes forced upon the reluctant wearer and...maybe even a sound poet (Rrrruuuuhhh)...to raps, rhymes and blank verse. What a fun book that adeptly matches the breeds and expressions to the type of poem, and gives a voice to those funny creatures who look at the world in an entirely different manner. There is even an invitation to submit photos of your own dog or cat for inclusion in future tomes or other publications. What a great way to celebrate the companion animal.
submitted to Night Owl Reviews
a copy was provided in exchange for an honest review
October 20, 2013
I got this book for free through a giveaway on here. Some of the poems were really cute and good. Others were too lewd and low brow for what I thought the book was going to be about. Very quick read and if you like low brow humor as I occasionally do then this book is a great find for you. Very good bathroom read.
November 27, 2013
I really liked this book. The hilarious poetry has many laugh out loud moments. The writing comes from the perspective of dogs. The funny thing is it seems to be pretty accurate! I would heartily recommend this book to dog lovers and anyone who wants a good laugh. I received this book for free as part of the goodreads early reads program.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews