Walking Backward

by Catherine Austen

When Josh's mother dies in a phobia-induced car crash, she leaves two questions for her grieving family: how did a snake get into her car and how do you mourn with no faith to guide you? Twelve-year-old Josh is left alone to find the answers. His father is building a time machine. His four-year-old brother's closest friend is a plastic Power Ranger. His psychiatrist offers nothing more than a blank journal and platitudes. Isolated by grief in a home where every day is pajama day, Josh makes death his research project. He tests the mourning practices of religions he doesn't believe in. He tries to mend his little brother's shattered heart. He observes, records and waits-for his life to feel normal, for his mother's death to make sense, for his father to come out of the basement. His observations, recorded in a series of journal entries, are funny, smart, insightful-and heartbreaking. His conclusions about the nature of love, loss, grief and the space-time continuum are nothing less than life-changing

Genres: Death, Young Adult, Canada, Fiction, Childrens, Grief, Contemporary

175 pages, ebook

First published October 1, 2009

About the author

I grew up in Kingston, Ontario. I studied political science at Queen's University and environmental studies at York before moving to the Ottawa area to work in the conservation movement. I now write freelance (reports as well as books) from my home in Quebec, where I live with my husband and two sons. I love wildlife, music, museums, and books and I'm grateful that my life is full of all of these.

I read all types of books but usually forget to review them. I'll only post about books I like here (hence the high average rating).

Reviews

[Educating Drew · Rating 3 out of 5]

osh is twelve years old. He has a little brother, Sam, who is four. Up until recently, his life was pretty normal. And then his mom died.

You would think that this would be a depressing book, wouldn't you? And although it deals with existential questions like what really happens to us when we're dead, it's equally thoughtful and humorous. Well, in that the humor borders on dry and nudges up against mouth-dropping-open.

For example: Josh's dad, since the mom's death is hell bent on building a time machine. He spends his hours after work locked down in the basement because he's SO CLOSE to making it work. Josh of course realizes that his dad has gone off the deep end and decidedly says so in his journal (which we get the privilege to read). Amusing, but amusing in that sad way, yaknow?

Josh is also concerned about the legacy his mom could have left. He becomes a bit obsessed with the Darwin Awards (awards that are handed out the inanely stupid people, whose stupidity results in physical accidents or death). You see, although Josh's mom was brilliant (she was a professor at the university and everyone loved her) she had extreme phobias. Including a snake phobia. Plastic snakes freaked her out. Pictures of snakes freaked her out. And it just so happens that there was a snake in her car the day that she drove off to run errands, which OBVIOUSLY freaked her out - so she ran off the side of the road and crashed into a tree. Josh is FEARFUL that his mom's death will be awarded the Darwin Award and e-mails them, begging that they pass her story by.

In order to help deal with his grief, and maybe I see it as dealing, but a twelve year old boy wouldn't, his natural inclination is to research what all of the major religions believe about death and dying. Especially, how long is the appropriate time to mourn someone that you love. Which I think is a very important question for anyone, but even more so for a young kid who misses his mom but catches himself laughing every now and again.

I really enjoyed this book and because of its length was able to finish it in a couple of hours. I will definitely keep Catherine Austen on my radar. And since death is such a touchy subject and I honestly believe books are great therapy, I'm keeping this on my shelf for my students to enjoy.

[Amy Rhoda Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the funniest book about death I've read for a while.

Josh, the protagonist, lost his mother in a bizarre car crash a month before the book begins, and we follow him, his father and his little brother through their second month of bereavement, and through learning to be a family again without the woman who held their lives together.

Walking Backward is written in Josh's voice, as a journal, and he's hilarious, capturing the pathetic absurdity of three disconnected people trying to work out their new place in a changed world. His descriptions of his four-year-old brother are spot-on (unlike so many small children in books) and his observations of his father, who retreats to the basement to build a time machine to save his wife (really) are incisive.

This book captures what it is to lose someone when you're essentially an upbeat person; the humour and joy comes back before you think you are ready, and you greet them with a combination of relief and shame, laughing and crying at the same time. I laughed and cried quite a lot while I read.

Delphine also loves this book. I didn't actually buy it for her, but she picked it up anyway, put it down, tried again and loved it that time. She's on her third read-through now and tonight she said to me, "This is the first book where I felt happy when good things happen to the characters and sad when bad things happen." I'm not sure how she's gotten through so many books without that emotional connection, but I'm glad she's found it here.

[Ara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was utterly amazing. It was hard to read but not because I couldn’t get into it but because it was from first person so I could hear all the thoughts from Josh, about his grieving for his mother, about his suspicions for who put the snake in his moms car and I almost started crying and had to put the book down because it was so heavy at points but there were also parts that were very funny and this book is probably the first book I’ve read that’s about death but still funny. I would like to thank this author for writing such a magnificent book, you have really out done it, you painted a picture for me, and you touched my heart. TFTR(thanks for the read)❤️❤️❤️.

[Ayesha (Seokjin's Version) ☾ · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 stars.
I said we were doing okay, me and Sammy and Dad, but out forty-nine days are not over.
read for snakes and ladders book bingo.

[Tiffany · Rating 3 out of 5]

Totally not the kind of book I usually read, so it's hard for me to judge it. Interesting story.

[Omartelon · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title of the book I read was walking backwards by Catherine Austen. The genre of my book is
realistic fiction because all the events could have happened but the book is not actually on a specific true event. Joshes mom dies from a car crash. She had a terrible phobia of snakes, Josh is left to try to find out how a snake “accidentally” got into her car. His dad is working on a time machine and his brother is scared of everything. Josh feels like he’s the only normal one left in his family. Everyday is now pajama day in his house. Josh writes in his journal and he collects the facts trying to find who killed his mothers. The whole book is him trying to overcome the internal conflict (man vs self.) He is trapped in his own thoughts. He feels very alone because his whole family is not like they use to be before his mother passed away. Josh has to stay positive and control his outbursts. Josh has to face the outside world like his neighbors and family. It’s hard for him became he feels like no one understands him. He freaked out when his aunt came over on page 60. she just wanted to bring him cookies but he wrote back in his journal that they did not understand him. He doesn’t want everyone to talk to him like a baby. This problem happens a lot throughout the story because these people don’t know how to comfort him.
I liked this book at first, but then when I was almost done with the book I couldn’t really understand the format (how he wrote the book as a journal.) I would suggest the book for ages 9-14 it’s a pretty short book but it’s for people who like sad books, the book still has funny parts and the characters are very interesting.

[sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Trigger Warning: Death of a parent.

--

“I think dad is starting to live in reality again. There's nothing like a good dose of anger to push you out of the denial stage of grief. Even though we're not Jewish and we have no guidelines to help us mourn, I think we're moving forward. It's not like we're walking away from mom. I'll never let myself do that. It's more like we're keeping her with us, but without getting stuck at the place in the path where she died.”

--

My children's literature professor was right - for some reason, a vast majority of children's novels has at least one dead parent. This book was about a 12 year old boy who wrote in a "psychiatric" journal recommended by this psychiatrist. My heart clenched multiple times over the novel, it was a really good book. I've never lost a parent, and I'll never know what it's like to lose a parent at a young age, but it was really moving and it felt so real to watch this family go through this. It goes to show that everyone mourns and grieves differently - and there's no "set time" on when you're supposed to "move forward." In fact, I don't think you ever stop grieving - it just gets a little easier to bear the loss over time. Sometimes Sammy annoyed me, not because of who he is or how he reacted, but probably just because I'm not the biggest fan of four year old kids. Otherwise, I definitely recommend this novel, but the content is emotional heavy, so be warned.

[Lenneth Domingo · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title of the book hooked me from the beginning and this is the first book I’ve ever finish in my entire life not through online but a real book and I’m so happy that finally I’ve finished it. This taught me a lot of things not just about moving on but also about how important our family is.
From this book I’ve learned the importance of accepting what happened in the past and see the positive side of it and that would help us to move forward and continue to live. And for me that’s the theme of the story.
The way how the author wrote her story is very unique, you really feel the emotions in it although the story is tragic there is still twist wherein you can see the comedy side of it. As I read further I’ve been curious who’s behind the death of Josh’s mother. For me the best part is when the truth is revealed and the question about the death of Josh’s mother is answered. However, at first I was very confused about how the story goes because it is a combination of past and present events but that makes the story more beautiful. The humor that the character showed is very funny but at the same time I admire the good characteristics he have shown like being responsible brother and son to his family.
I really do recommend it, as a beginner in reading books this will really help you appreciate books and the author’s works. It will teach you about life and it will also help you in expressing yourself.

[Tori Jimenez · Rating 5 out of 5]

AR level: 5.3
Lexile: 840L

A young boy is forced to deal with the death of his mother and experiences grief like never before. The story shows how different people respond to death and grieve in different ways and at different rates.

[Phyllis M. Wright · Rating 2 out of 5]

I couldn't even get though chapter 3, how sad is that? I plan on trying again later.

[Okapi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Walking Backward is an extremely sad novel, and while I usually never cry during books, this one caused me to fetch the box of tissues. The author does a fantastic job with developing her characters; the voice of young Josh is dark, doleful, and realistic for a twelve year old boy; his little brother Sammy is every bit as crazy and innocent as a four-year-old can be; his reclusive, slightly apathetic dad is beautifully written. Josh’s voice tells of his family members’ different ways of mourning the loss of a loved one. Sammy is confused and traumatized, seeking comfort in his Power Ranger, which he pretends to be his mother. His dad holes himself up in the basement all day, working on a time machine to bring his wife back. Every page of this short novel contains Josh’s interesting musings about death, loss, and life in general. Direct and to the point, Josh virtually covers all the dark and happy thoughts of a boy recovering from loss.

Overall, this quiet read provokes thoughts about the way to mourn loss, move on, and begin to live life again. This book does not contain much of a plot, but it is driven on by the inner journey of Josh and his family. Despite its lack of action, I recommend this touching novel that will entice tears out of everybody’s eyes.

To get a taste of this book - My favorite quotes:


“Napoleon Bonaparte, the famous French general, was ailurophobic, which means afraid of cats. If all those people he conquered had let out their house cats, maybe he’d have run away. I can picture Charlie and Cleo chasing Napoleon back to his ship, with his crazy hat falling off his head as he ran, and the two cats all fierce and proud of living up to their names at last.” – page 109 (After reading this quote, I did some research to find out that Julius Caesar, Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan, and Hitler were also all possible ailurophobes. Then, to get even more off track, I found a website called Cats That Look Like Hitler.)

“…Sam has developed a new habit of walking backward everywhere he goes. He says he wants to see people as he leaves them so that if they die, he’ll remember their faces. This is a weird new habit on top of his other weird habits.” – page 44

Cover: 3.5/5 – I like the color scheme. The orange and red snake vividly contrasts with the lime green background, and I enjoy the handwritten font. However, the snake could be a little more snakish, which would possibly make the cover more distinguished.

[Sane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Walking Backward was a surprise hit for me. I've read a couple of books from Orca Publishing and was underwhelmed by all of them, so I didn't have high expectation for Walking Backwards. This was the second book in a week to make me cry. Walking Backwards should come with a box of tissues. You have to be made of stone not to cry when reading Walking Backward.

12 year old Josh has the world on his shoulder after his mom dies. His father is hiding out in the basement building a time machine, so he must tend to his little brother, and deal with his grief all on his own. Josh also goes to a therapist which results in the journal style of Walking Backward. Josh is a very strong and intelligent 12 year old boy. I love how he would go off on tangents about different types of snakes while trying to figure out who put the snake in the car that caused his mothers fatal car accident. Josh had a unique and compelling voice through the story. I was compelled to keep reading to see how his story would end.

The relationship that Josh has with his little brother is touching and overwhelmingly sad. These were the parts of the book that had me in tears. How do you explain to a little boy that his mommy is never coming back? How do you explain it to him when you are just a child yourself? It was fascinating to see how Josh handled this problem.

The ending of Walking Backward closes up nicely. Josh gets some answers about what caused his mothers accident and is able to start the healing process.

Overall, Walking Backward was a very well written book. With strong interactions among the characters and a solid ending. I would recommended Walking Backward to anyone who likes a good cry.

[Canadian Children's Book Centre]

Reviewed by Kris Rothstein

Josh is 12, his mom has just died in a bizarre accident and his father is building a time machine in the basement. This doesn’t leave much guidance for him or his little brother Sammy, who has no one to tell him to get dressed or go to bed and stop obsessively watching Scooby Doo cartoons. To make the grief process easier, Josh has researched how many of the world’s religions mourn and Catherine Austen does an excellent job of integrating this information seamlessly into the narrative. In a journal from the family’s psychiatrist, Josh describes his difficult summer, including an investigation into his mother’s death and the creation of a scrapbook of his memories before they start to fade.

The climax, however, is out of sync with the rest of the book. Josh finds out who is responsible for his mother’s accident, but the question of blame and guilt is too large to be explored here and the book would have been better served without this part of the story. Yet, even amongst the many children’s books dealing with death, Walking Backward is an original and entertaining take on grief and coping with loss. Josh’s stories show that adults are often intolerant towards those who have suffered a loss, hurrying children to start acting normal again and accept comfort in being told that things will “be OK.” Josh isn’t OK until he is allowed to mourn in his own way. He is easy to relate to and sustains this story with his strong, thoughtful and funny voice.

Canadian Children's Book News (Summer 2010, Vol. 33, No. 3)

[Melanie Hetrick · Rating 3 out of 5]

Josh's mother died this summer. Yeah, she died in a car accident when her car hit a tree. No, wait... She ran her car into a tree because there was a snake in the car. How the snake got in the car is a mystery.

So Josh spends his summer taking care of his little brother Sam. His dad doesn't come out of the basement very often. He's building a time machine. Yep, a time machine. He thinks he can go back in time and make the accident never happen. So Josh is stuck trying to keep himself and his brother fed, bathed and clothed. But the cat's litter box is beginning to really smell!

Josh writes in his diary regularly as prescribed by his therapist. He's not sure how it's supposed to help, but he's trying to do his part. He keeps an eye on Sam's diary too, worrying just a bit that Sam is focusing too much on the accident and snakes. He used to love snakes. Now he wants nothing to do with them.

Throughout the summer, Josh chronicles his encounters with his neighbors, his Aunt Laura, his mother's friend Mister Johnston and his increasing frustration with his fathers' lack of parenting skills during this difficult time.

Eventually Josh learns who put the snake in his mothers' car. It changes his entire outlook of the summer. However, it also gets his father out of the basement and back in his kids' lives.

[Jodysegal · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked but did not love Walking Backward, which disappointed me. I expected more from this first person, voice-driven novel about how three quirky guys cope when their wife/mother unexpectedly dies.

Told from 12-year-old Josh's point of view, we watch him struggle to cope with his father's neglect- he has withdrawn to the basement to build a time machine, presumably to save their mother, and to take up the slack in laundry, shopping and caring for 4 year-old Sammy, his little brother. Sammy, in turn, clings obsessively to the pink power ranger his mother used, carries on conversations with her- in two voices, and walks backward- so that if someone else dies, he'll remember their face. Josh meanwhile has never felt so alone and spends lots of time worrying about who put the snake in his mother's car, how long each of the world's religions gives people to mourn, and if his mother will be nominated for a Darwin Award, a dubious distinction awarded posthumously to individuals who die a particularly stupid death.

Josh's tone, the characters, and how his family eventually pulls together keep the story from being overly grim. To love this novel, I would have liked a more distinctive voice and another edit to reduce repetitive elements.

[Meaghan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this book free from LibraryThing Early Reviewers.

This is a sweet, touching story about a twelve-year-old boy's summer after the sudden death of his mother in a car crash. Josh's grief therapist suggested he keep a journal, and the book is his entries from July 30 through September 6.

Unlike a lot of books in diary format, this isn't overly detailed and sounds like it really could be an ordinary boy's journal. Josh's love and devotion to his little brother was moving. The rituals the grieving family went through ring true to me: Josh looks up mourning rituals from different cultures and religions, his four-year-old brother Sam pretends a toy Power Ranger is his mother, and his father hides himself in the basement all day trying to make a time machine. Also realistic was the family's gradual progress towards healing: at the beginning of the story, Josh and Sam are wearing pajamas 24/7 and beating trees with their toy swords while their father completely ignores them, but at the end the family goes on a camping trip and you see they're learning to cope with their loss.

I think this would be a good book for 9-to-12s and up, especially for those who have lost a parent.

[Colin · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the better Myrca 2011 books I've read so far. A well written book about a 12 year old dealing with his mother's death. Could be read by virtually anyone, however, in that the 12 year old is very intelligent and insightful ... in a believable way. The book contains a fair bit of information about mourning rituals in different cultures and religions. Another positive feature is that the action and the characters are not entirely predictable. All in all, an intelligent book about grieving that is not merely "bibliotherapy" in ways that books of this type so often are. This book would probably appeal to readers in grades 5 - 8. Josh, his little brother Sammy, and the father are all surprisingly complex characters. Although the book is ostensibly about death, it is not a complete downer. Indeed, there are some very funny/poignant moments - the desperate search for the female Power Ranger figure at the beach, for example.

[Colleen Whale · Rating 4 out of 5]

This has got to be one of the most heartbreakingly sad books I've read in awhile. But it's also really funny, but in a dark cynical kind of way. I like the way it's written. It's written journal-style in the point of view of 12-year-old Josh, who is using journal writing as a way to cope with the recent death of his mom. He starts off almost like he's built a wall around himself. He's not quite ready to deal with the emotions of losing his mom. But the last couple of entries are hard to get through. I adore this kid. I love the way he writes, talks, thinks. He is definitely wise beyond his years. He is an amazing big brother to 4-year-old Sam. The way he takes care of him and basically takes on the role of being both parents to Sam, since his dad has basically emotionally checked-out throughout a good portion of the book. It's just really sweet the way he cares about his little brother so much. It's a short little book and didn't take me long to read it at all.

[Sandra Stiles · Rating 4 out of 5]

Grief at any age is difficult. Twelve year old Josh has just lost his mother in a car accident. He has no one to show him what he should do next. His younger brother has started sleeping with him. His father has been busy trying to build a time machine. Josh has never felt so alone. At one point Josh wishes he were Jewish because they are organized about death. It is difficult as an adult dealing with death. I've worked with kids as young as five who have lost a parent and it is always tough. There are no set or exact answers to the grieving process. This is what Josh is looking for. I have several friends who will never read this book no matter how good I tell them it is because it is a sad book. However I will definitely recommend this book and especially to those who have lost a loved one

[Valerie Sherrard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written story told from a 12 year old boy's perspective, Walking Backward is truly exceptional. Austen captures the stages of grief perfectly in the fragmented actions of all family members as they try to deal with the loss of their wife and mother - a woman who was clearly the glue holding the family together.

As he struggles forward, Josh, who has not been raised in any faith, searches for a way to deal with his mother's loss by examining the mourning traditions of various religions. One might expect that to lead naturally to him examining beliefs regarding the afterlife as well, but he has not reached that place by the ending of this story. (Is it just wishful thinking to believe a sequel may be in the works?)

I loved how the author captured Josh's voice, and evoked so many real emotions with such skill. Catherine Austen is definitely one to watch!

[Diane · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a wonderful J book written from the point of view of a contemporary thirteen year-old boy grieving the loss of his mother in a car accident a month previous. The dark humour of his observations of his father and four year-old brother dealing with the loss in their own ways is very realistic as well as amusing. Only a few times did I feel that his remarks weren't something a thirteen year-old would say. It's always tough to decide if the intended audience (kids) would like this book as much as the selecting/purchasing audience (adults) but in this case I think it would appeal to sensitive readers and to anyone who has every had to deal with the untimely death of a family member. HIghly recommended.

[Tanja · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very touching book written in first person narrative from the perspective of a twelve-year old boy who has just lost his mother in a freak car accident. He is desperately trying to make sense of this terrible loss, to come to terms with his own emotions while trying to keep his family going. I am impressed by the way the author captured the voice of this young boy - it made me laugh, cry and reach out to him. I actually felt a strong urge to dive into the story to hug this poor kid. He is hurting so much - and yet he is the one showing strength and determination, getting his dad and little brother through this trauma. A tough story - but one worth reading! (Not suitable for younger readers.)

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Told in the first-person, twelve-year-old Josh relates his experiences during the summer after his mother dies. His father has withdrawn and his younger brother is running wild, and Josh tries to find some meaning and order in all the chaos.

I really enjoyed this. It was a strong portrayal of the feelings and actions of a grieving family, both very sad and with unexpected humor. Josh's mixed feelings about how his mother died are all jumbled up with how his friendships are going, and how his relationship with his "girlfriend" is going as well.

[Geebowie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really good book about a boy who loses his mother in a freak accident, the mom had a terrible fear of snakes so when she is driving her car and finds one in it she crashes into a tree. The boy whose name is Josh i not have a easy time. He father is building a time machine in the basement. His younger brother is talking to a power ranger toy as if it was his mom. Josh is study facts about how the various religions mourn. For this description i have made the book sound depressing while it is sad it is also very good. You really feel for the characters.

[Sharon · Rating 2 out of 5]

The premise of the book was interesting- mother dies in car crash caused by snake in car and how did snake even get in the car- but the character never really became real for me. The author put many quirks in - father building time machine-brother walking backwards- and perhaps this will appeal to readers looking for more quirkiness than storyline.

[Sharon · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I loved the topic and the discussions of phobias and the way different people grieve, this book was so short I felt it was over before it even started. However, the characterization was solid - if somewhat inexplicable, since none of the adult characters' motivations were ever explained.
Received from author via TRT.

[Vionna · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book was an enjoyable read. Josh was a wonderfull character who, at the tender age of 12, had so much to deal with, with the death of his mother, the ecentricities of his father and a bewildered 4 years old brother.

[Vicki · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent story of a 12 year old boy, his dad and his little brother trying to pull their lives together after his mom dies tragically in a car crash. Though it pulls at your hearstrings, it is also humourous, endearing ang compelling. Great first novel by a Canadian author.

[April · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fantastic, light-hearted book about a family's struggle to cope with the loss of their mother/wife. Written from the perspective of a 12 year old boy who is trying to piece it all together, his beliefs on death, as well as how she died.
Read it in a couple days!

[Sylvia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Two brothers cope with the loss of their mother. Told by the oldest brother who has no religious views to fall back on. Grieving is an unpredictable, messy business! Loved this book.