3 Seconds: The Power of Thinking Twice

by Les Parrott III, John C. Maxwell (Foreword)

Just three seconds. The time it takes to make a decision. That's all that lies between settling for 'Whatever' ... or insisting on 'Whatever it takes.'3 Seconds shows how to unleash the inner resources that can move you to a whole new level of success. It comes down to six predictable impulses that most of us automatically accept without a second thought. You can replace them with new impulses that lead toward impact and significance. For instance, it takes Three Seconds to ...Disown Your Helplessness: The First Impulse: 'There's nothing I can do about it.' The Second Impulse: 'I can't do everything, but I can do something.'Quit Stewing and Start Doing: The First Impulse: 'Someday I'm going to do that.' The Second Impulse: 'I'm diving in ... starting today.'Fuel Your Passion: The First Impulse: 'I'll do what happens to come my way.' The Second Impulse: 'I'll do what I'm designed to do.'Inhale ... exhale ... the difference of your lifetime can begin in the space of a single breath. The decision is yours. Start today.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Personal Development, Psychology, Business, Christian, Audiobook

Audio CD

First published May 11, 2007

About the author

#1 New York Times best-selling authors, Les and Leslie. A husband-and-wife team who not only share the same name, but the same passion for helping others build healthy relationships. In 1991, the Parrotts founded the Center for Relationship Development on the campus of Seattle Pacific University - a groundbreaking program dedicated to teaching the basics of good relationships.

Married in 1984, the Parrotts bring real-life examples to their speaking platform. Their professional training - Leslie as a marriage and family therapist, and Les as a clinical psychologist - ensures a presentation that is grounded, insightful and cutting-edge.

The Parrotts are New York Times #1 Best Selling Authors. Their books include the award-winning Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, Love Talk, Real Relationships, The Parent You Want to Be, The Hour That Matters Most and Crazy Good Sex.

Each year Les and Leslie speak in over 40 cities. Their audiences include a wide array of venues, from churches to Fortune 500 company board rooms. Their books have sold over two million copies in more than two dozen languages.

The Parrotts have been guests on many national TV and radio programs such as CNN, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, The View with Barbara Walters, NBC Nightly News, and Oprah. Their work has been featured in USA Today and The New York Times.

Visit their website for lots of free resources at www.LesandLeslie.com

Reviews

[Jason · Rating 2 out of 5]

The topics were interesting and valid, but also sort of cliche and regurgitated.

My question for all of the customer service and better managment books is: why is everything up to only those providing customer service? Why do people expect good customer service if they were not good customers? It is setting up the world for more and more rudeness, shortness and disingenuous relationships. I totally understand the need for good customer service and try to provide it at all times even with bad customers, but bending over backwards to satisfy someone that I have a good relationship with is much easier and less grating than doing the same for someone who treats me as nothing more than a means to an end. This unilateral, "my needs are more importnant" attitude is even demonstrated by the author, although I know he was trying to get across a point and may have shortened the story. He was assigned to bring chairs to a party for a friend and forgot to do so, when his friend confronted him and said "that figures" the author got upset and concerned for the way he was treated. It later came out that the friend was just having a bad day and said that because everything else had gone wrong so why not have no chairs too. What the left out, or didn't do in real life, was to take his own advice! You forgot the chairs, take 3 seconds to "own" the fact that the failure was yours and stop thinking about the hosts reaction and "do" something to remedy your mistake. Instead of, I'm sorry I forgot, your the react should have been...I'm sorry I forgot, let me go back and get them or call Billy who isn't here yet because I know he has chairs too. As a guest to the party you are essentially the party's customer, but that doesn't relieve you of all of the responsibility in the relationship. Someone should write the book on being a good customer, if this book already exists please let me know.

[Γιώτα Παπαδημακοπούλου · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ακόμα ένα βιβλίο αυτοβελτίωσης που βρέθηκε φέτος το καλοκαίρι στα χέρια μου είναι το "3 δευτερόλεπτα που κάνουν τη διαφορά", με την υπογραφή ντόκτορα μάλιστα, αυτή τη φορά. Αυτός ο οδηγός προσωπικής βελτίωσης του δρ. Les Parrott, μπορεί να μην είναι από τα κορυφαία βιβλία του είδους του, πάντα κατά την προσωπική μου εκτίμηση, αποτελεί όμως ένα ιδιαίτερα απλοϊκό και εύχρηστο εγχειρίδιο, άμεσα κατανοητό και εύκολο να ακολουθήσει κανείς τις συμβουλές του, ειδικά αν δεν έχει μεγάλη εμπειρία με τα βιβλία της κατηγορίας αυτής, και θέλει να κάνει μια πρώτη επαφή, αναζητώντας νέους τρόπους να βελτιώσει τον εαυτό του πάνω απ' όλα και στη συνέχεια, ως φυσικό επόμενο, την ίδια την καθημερινότητά του και την ποιότητα της ζωής του.

Η φιλοσοφία πίσω από την θεωρία του δρ. Les Parrott είναι η πιο απλή που θα μπορούσε να ακολουθήσει κάποιος ειδικός σύμβουλος διαχείρισης θυμού και άγχους. "Πάρε μια βαθιά ανάσα πριν να μιλήσεις ή πριν να πράξεις". Το να πάρεις μια ανάσα διαρκεί 3 δευτερόλεπτα. Το να πάρεις μια σωστή ή μια λάθος απόφαση, διαρκεί -επίσης- περίπου τόσο. Με το να προσφέρεις στον εαυτό σου αυτά τα 3 δευτερόλεπτα αυξάνεις τις πιθανότητες να σκεφτείς λογικά, μειώνεις τις πιθανότητες να πράξεις παρορμητικά και κατά συνέπεια, βοηθάς τον εαυτό σου να διατηρήσει καλύτερη πνευματική και συναισθηματική ισορροπία, καταλήγοντας να κάνει αυτό που πραγματικά θέλει, με τον τρόπο που θέλει, χωρίς απαραίτητα να μας νοιάζει το σωστό ή το λάθος αποτέλεσμα αφού καμιά φορά η επιλογή είναι αυτή που έχει την μεγαλύτερη βαρύτητα.

[Ánder · Rating 5 out of 5]

A short but powerful motivational book on the importance of not giving in to our first impulses.

PROS: This book is one of those books short enough for anyone to read it and yet powerful enough to make you think about its contents. Dr. Parrott writes each chapter in a dynamic way that challenges you without being too pushy or sounding preachy. His are examples of real people with real life situations that anyone has experienced. Maybe it is because of this, down-to-earth approach that the book feels like a talk with a good friend who knows you enough to talk directly about your weaknesses without sounding cocky about himself.

CONS: To be honest the whole "3 second" thing is nothing much than a moniker. There is nothing mystical about the number even though Dr. Parrott repeats it as if it were so. The book could have easily called 4 or 5 seconds, because the whole point is to encourage people to take time for reflection instead of following the natural and reactive instinct that we all feel in a given situation.

CONCLUSION: This book is a perfect reading for those who do not like to be part of the status quo, those who are seeking constant self-improvement, or simply those who want to dream bigger. Even if you are a person who dislikes psychology and self-help books, you could benefit from this book and its frank writing style. Highly recommended.

[Παύλος · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ξεκίνησε καλα, ιδιαίτερα τα δύο πρώτα κεφάλαια είχαν ιδιαίτερο ενδιαφέρον, ωστόσο αντιμετώπισα ξανά το ίδιο "πρόβλημα" όπως και σε άλλα βιβλία παρόμοιου θέματος. Το πρόβλημα αυτό αφορά την συχνή αναφορά θρησκευτικών διδαχών ή κομματιών της Βίβλου.
Ταπεινή μου άποψη είναι πως όταν ένα βιβλίο αφορά επιχειρηματικές συμβουλές ή/και τρόπους εξέλιξης, η αναφορά στο θρησκευτικό κομμάτι είναι τελείως άκαιρη και αχρείαστη καθώς ο αναγνώστης επιζητά πρακτικούς τρόπους επίλυσης προβλημάτων και όχι ιστορίες που ερμηνεύονται κατά το δοκούν. Προσωπικά, δε διαβάζω αυτά τα βιβλία ψάχνοντας να βρω λύσεις αλλά με ενδιαφέρει περισσότερο να δω πώς σκέφτονται άνθρωποι με ισχυρό εκπαιδευτικό και επαγγελματικό υπόβαθρο που θεωρούνται ή αναγνωρίζονται ως κορυφαίοι στον τομέα τους - θεωρώ λοιπόν αναφορές στους μαθητές του Ιησού και τα Ευαγγέλια περιττές.

[Ben · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thinking Twice

Another excellent Christian book on productivity.
A subject I have been really appreciating lately.

This is a great book, and I am very glad I got it.

Definitely check this one out!
Better a Christian business book, than a regular ol' business book!

4.1/5

[Sergiusz Golec · Rating 4 out of 5]

You could've thought that "3 Seconds" is about bad sex experience; or an explosion. But No.

Most of the time, you'll find (short) interesting stories, with a practical leverage for your life. Moral and exercises included. And even if you can guess the global moral of the book - the light content, and entertaining stories - made it worth reading.

What would it make better for me? Skipping the religious aspects (3 of them). Replacing known stories with less popular. Update some of the exercises, because... Preaching - do not reach me; so it would be better to let me think and reflect on my own.

[Robert Chapman · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lot of common sense in this book presented from an author who ties it together with examples in a simple and digestible fashion. The constant theme of vision, passion and perseverance in order to achieve personal goals is always a worth being reminded of.

[Michael Tarpinian · Rating 4 out of 5]

The six impulses:1) give up before trying; 2) shun a challenge; 3) settle for the status quo; 4) shirk responsibility; 5) do the mere minimum; 6) avoid taking action.


I would read this again. Really good stuff.

[Leena · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listened to audio version of book. Les has some excellent points about not second guessing yourself or others based on our initial thoughts and responses.

[Stacey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this book was fantastic. It is short so I think everyone should read it. It had so many good points, I enjoyed the whole thing.

[Sharon · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some good things, I guess. Kind of a mix of common sense, cliche, hyperbole, and watered down spirituality. I was asked to read it for work, otherwise this is not my type of book. It addresses 6 self-sabotaging attitudes and makes the claim that if you stop and think for 3 seconds, that’s all it takes to choose a better attitude and have a better life. The better attitudes are better attitudes. No argument there, but I don’t think I operate with these kind of whiny, complainy, immature impulses he’s trying to help me conquer. Each of the 6 impulses are described with a particular voice inside your head. They are 1. “There’s nothing I can do about it.” 2. “It’s too tough to try.” 3. “I’ll just do what comes my way.” 4. “I’ve done what’s required and that’s enough.” 5. “It’s not my problem, somebody else is to blame.” 6 “Someday I’ll get to that, but not now.” I’m not perfect. I can procrastinate or fail to make the most of every possible opportunity that comes my way, but in general, this is not the way I think or live my life.

The writing was repetitive. The 3 seconds was just chosen because it sounds good, I think. Why not 5 seconds or 3 minutes. What proof is there for 3 seconds? Hyperbole example: “Without vision, our zest for living dies and we wander, zombie-like, through our existence.” Really? Or how about this one? “When we fuel our passion..., That’s when we elevate our soul to greatness.” What does that even mean?

But, Parrot is known for being a Christian speaker, educator and author. So why is there so little mention of God or Jesus or prayer and how these affect our attitudes, behaviors and outcomes? In fact, when good things happen for us as a result of our writing down a list of our unattainable dreams, he says that “something happens in the cosmos,” which he calls The Law of Serendipity. “Plainly put, the Law of Serendipity is the experience of having two or more things happen coincidentally in a manner that is meaningful to the person experiencing them. It differs from coincidence in that serendipity implies not just a happenstance, but an underlying meaningful pattern.”

He does make some good points here and there, but to me it sounds like common sense or inspirational images you’d see on Facebook. I’d be interested to know other takes on this from people who did find his encouragement helpful. Also, let it be known that I read this on the plane after dropping my daughter off at college, so maybe I’m having a stronger reaction than it deserves. And I may be using this forum for an emotional release. (Probable.) I’ll be completing the end of book exercise for work and maybe I’ll come back and reread this and find my opinion has softened.

[M · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good book overall that is a reminder of mostly common sense concepts. These concepts can easily be forgotten and I appreciate the author taking a somewhat rudimentary approach. Parrot is a solid writer and this book is engaging for the most part. It delivers on what it intends to do: it discusses our natural impulses and suggests ways to combat them.

It is a bit thin on scholarly research, but the concepts are not deeply discussed, so I cannot fault it fo that. It is hard to expect a book that discusses elementary ideas to have scholarly support. When I say elementary, I do not mean to passively take shots at the author's credentials or his wisdom; I think this book was purposefully made to be easy to understand and a reminder to some of us because it seems logical. And for that, I think it accomplishes its purpose and earns at least 4 stars.

A couple reasons this book does not deserve five stars:
1) The title does not fit the book. At all, in my opinion. Randomly, at the end of some chapters, Dr Parrot ties his.phrase "it takes 3 seconds to just...." At the end of one of the chapters, Dr. Parrot even admits that it takes more than 3 seconds to accomplish this concept. It seems like the author needed a catchy title and 3 seconds sounds cool and then he went in and tried to conclude all of his points with 3 seconds. It was weakly implemented and seemed to not jive well with the entire idea.

2) I am a biased reader. I found it extremely frustrating to reread passages of the author summarizing clips from movies to augment his ideas and point. It was so pointless, I hated every second of it. I don't think diving into characters in movies is a good way to prove an idea. It is especially not useful using pages and pages to summarize a movie, especially if your reader has already seen the movie. It was dry and this technique was used many times throughout this short read that it really irked me and almost made me 3 star this book. BUT, I am biased and I feel that this is a biased issue I have with the book so I will not deduct a star for the author's choice to summarize movies (word for word... UGHHHHH).

A good book overall. Worth a read if you want a quick read with some wisdom that is easy to digest.

[Amanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was really disappointing. I was promised something really powerful, only to find that the 3 Seconds was really a gimmick, mostly unrelated to the advice in the book. The basic principles are sound (garnering it an extra star), but fall back on the terrible self help principle of 'if it's not happening, it's because your attitude is wrong, or you just don't want it enough', ignoring that so many people have very real barriers in their lives to achieving what they want to do. I also found many of the examples given were very shallow and failed to demonstrate the point properly and indeed never actually brought out the idea of '3 seconds' at all.

[General · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting thought about the power of having a second Thought which could improve the chance of a personal growth and achieving more in life by accepting more challenges instead of following the first "unproductive" decision. It takes 3 seconds to start a new small step in life by making a new decision and, if you add all the small steps, you surely gonna feel one day the big improvement that you had in your lifestyle.

[L · Rating 3 out of 5]

Listened to the audiobook. It’s going off the premises that our first thought/impulse isn’t the one we should go for, but that we pause for 3 seconds to think of another choice. It was all right, there are a couple of phrases I might use to remind myself I want to change my mindset and do something instead of freezing or putting things off.
“Disown your helplessness” and “Quit stewing and start doing”.

[Lovely Winters · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you work with people you need to read this book. People find it so hard to accept responsibility for problems even if they didn’t create them. This book shows you methods on how to simply say “you are sorry”. Saying sorry doesn’t mean you created the problem but just acknowledges that you realize there is a problem.

[Kari Eliuk · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simple points, simply stated, but with great potential to effect change. I read this, highlighter in hand, in a single sitting, and intend to make it required reading for my employees and for my children as they near adulthood.

[Kevin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fairly simple read, with a good premise. Take the time to pause and then do what not everybody will do. Most times this won't be the easiest solution. Good advice, presented simply, in a way that will inspire action.

[Anogoya · Rating 4 out of 5]

Grandma's counsel, backed by Ivy League research

[Krista · Rating 5 out of 5]

For the not-naturally optimistic that may need a few tips.

[Amber · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this audiobook. It was informative and relatable for todays living. It was easy to understand and put into practice. I would recommend this book.

[MITCHELL ODELL · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good quick read. Good information

[Nate Balcom · Rating 3 out of 5]

Book #24 of my #30BookSummer Challenge! A good quick read and man this is something I need to be more intentional about.

[Nate Dissmeyer · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very quick read/listen. A few insightful tips and I enjoyed the stories/references but felt it lacked depth.

[Maria Camilo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very motivating!

[Vlad · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another masterpiece of John c Maxwell. Well this book enforces to do action with alot of examples of high people that achieved with very big obstacle its an must to read it.

[Ethan · Rating 2 out of 5]

This could have been summed up in one sentence. Move from contemplation to action. The message was good, but I got lost throughout.

[Luis Cervantes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Had some HDT Harvard quotes solid Abe linc quote

[Sandile Mkhize · Rating 3 out of 5]

A Short practical read, but honestly there was absolutely nothing thought provoking.

[William · Rating 4 out of 5]

There was nothing really new in this book. Dr Parrott does ties this discussion of life choices and cherry-picked analogies to a 3 second pause that we should implement before making any significant decisions or taking action. This premise make total sense, and is probably fully backed up by actual data, which Dr Parrott does not share with us. Sometimes, and in my case more often than not, going back to a question on an exam, giving it further thought, and changing the answer is not the correct path. But then, he lost me in the prologue when he claimed to be a fan of the Indianapolis 500, and then called it Formula 1. Blasphemy!

There is lots of good, common sense content in this book, though it often comes across a little preachy.