PR: A Personal Record of Running from Anorexia

by Amber Sayer

As a nationally ranked high school runner, nobody seemed to notice that Amber Sayer's weight was dropping just as fast as her finish times. "PR" is a sports chronicle, a coming of age story, and a cautionary report of one runner's simultaneous decent into anorexia and rise in the high school track and cross-country rankings. Her honest account of a distressingly common problem among high school and collegiate athletes takes readers through the disease's progression and its unsettling parallels with her burgeoning running career. After losing more than she ever anticipated, and incurring permanent physical and emotional damage, Sayer struggles to overcome her severe case of anorexia and the sport's culture in which eating disorders and their increasing prevalence remain dangerously taboo.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction

246 pages, Paperback

First published March 20, 2013

Reviews

[William Buck · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of my hopes in reading this book was to gain insight into what happened to a girl I'd been close to throughout high school. She had gone from a happy, healthy 8th grader to a struggling anorexic in the course of one year. And though we talked about what was happening in our lives, I knew there was much more going on than she ever shared. What had driven her to become anorexic? Did she really count calories as obsessively as it seemed? What were the logistics of living with an eating disorder 24/7? (And how did she navigate the minefields of social meals, snacking, family dinners, etc.)

This book answered many of my questions and then went beyond; it provided an engrossing story that recounts in haunting detail the maddening effects of an eating disorder. Some scenes stuck with me for days after reading them. (One example was this quote: “I knew it had something to do with crying, blood and bathrooms.” You’ll have to read the book to discover the meaning and context of this scene!)

I was startled to learn that the seeds of Sayer’s eating disorder were sewn quite early. In fact, you see rumblings of the disease beginning in elementary school.

Much of the book revolves around cross-country/track and the running lifestyle. It's easy to see how competing in this sport can take a toll on young, developing bodies -- especially when involved heavily at an early age. The author does a thorough job of driving this point home.

Sayer grew up in Amherst, MA and it's enjoyable to read what it was like to be in New England, running during the middle of a snowstorm, on quiet paths through a beautiful forest, traveling to Boston for competitions, etc. If you like New England, this region becomes an important character in the story and provides a colorful backdrop.

Interesting characters appear throughout the book: some of them contribute to the author's eating disorder while others are genuine protagonists who attempt to help a young girl move toward a healthier lifestyle. Email exchanges are reprinted which provide a glimpse of formative moments and offer more insight into the author’s mindset.

This is a helpful book for anyone who wants to discover the challenges young people face and how families and communities react to their eating disorders. It's a first-hand account of anorexia and a driven young athlete’s quest for redemption.

[Liralen · Rating 3 out of 5]

More interesting than I'd expected. Sayer was a standout runner in high school, but with success came pressure to continue to succeed, and with that came a damaging focus on weight. Sayer has since built a career for herself in fitness, so she has a rather more solid background knowledge of the body's functions than a lot of writers of this sort of thing.

I did find the structure a bit odd—there were periodically brief chapters about people who were presumably important to Sayer, but who never merit a mention outside that chapter. The more technical stuff is lumped into a couple of chapters rather than spread throughout, and she brushes over the long-lasting physical problems she's had as a result of her anorexia. Still, really interesting to see someone who a) was using anorexia to facilitate running, rather than the other way around and b) has spun physical interests into a healthy career. Would have liked to know more about how that developed, and also to see her interrogate the idea of lower weight --> better running more thoroughly. What might it have looked like if she'd had a diet that allowed for adequate nutrition but kept her body fat low, etc.? If she wasn't exhausted all the time? I don't know, and I'm sure she has a better background than I do to answer that.

A last note—family plays a significant role in this piece, both because Sayer was so young when she developed anorexia and because Sayer identifies various family members as having (undiagnosed?) eating disorders of their own. Could have been a really interesting avenue to explore; not sure if she didn't go in there deeper because writing isn't her background or for privacy reasons.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading this book. It was able to discuss a difficult topic, without getting too sensitive. The author was able to share real life experiences and how she felt with the readers. I felt connected and that it was more of a real life story moving along rather than just information about her disorder. I find the more I like to read medical books the more they are about medical "gargun" and that they are hard to understand. However, by writing in more of a story line it's easier to comprehend. Thus it gives it a quick pace, but still factual and informational like I like. I look forward to finding more books like this, and was happy it was hard to put down. I believe whether you like stories or medicine this is a great book for you.

[Rachael Steil · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the greatest running-eating-disorder memoirs I have ever come across, although there are very few to begin with. I could almost completely relate to Amber's experience, which sent me into tears at many points throughout the book.
Overall a great read, and engaging because I could relate so much and this topic interests me. Not sure how much a non-runner would enjoy this book but I loved it.

[Florence · Rating 3 out of 5]

An eye-opening memoir and one which exposes the dark side of our sport, I think it was a brave move to write this. I think it's a books that coaches of girls and women in particular could read and learn from. Also shows the destructive influence of eating disorders on people's lives and relationships

[Liz · Rating 2 out of 5]

No doctor, coach or parent should have let this girl run in high school at under 70 lbs. I appreciate the examination of running and eating disorders but I don't know that the book expressed the gravity and consequences.

[Ignatius Brady · Rating 5 out of 5]

Remarkable story told remarkably well.
First person anorexia and sports addiction and recovery narrative.
Essential if you have an interest in the connections between sports performance and eating disorders.
Honest, insightful and provides hope.
Remarkable young woman and good writer.

[Ilyse · Rating 2 out of 5]

Perhaps because the author isn't a writer and isn't portraying anorexia as desirable, this memoir manages to not be aspirational and effectively communicate the damage and dangers of the disease. A very rare feat.