How to Raise a Healthy Gamer: End Power Struggles, Break Bad Screen Habits, and Transform Your Relationship with Your Kids

by Alok Kanojia

A former gamer and Harvard-trained psychiatrist offers a proven, tested plan to help parents define, set, and reinforce healthy boundaries around video games and help kids who have developed an addiction to gaming.How much should I let them play? How do I get them to be interested in anything else?! When it comes to family rules around video games, most parents are at a loss. After all, our technologically invasive world is something previous generations didn’t have to wrestle with, so we have no model for how to guide our families through the rapidly changing landscape, no blueprint for setting healthy gaming boundaries and keeping them in place. A former Harvard Medical School instructor and one of the foremost experts on video game psychology, Dr. Alok Kanojia—known as “Dr. K” to his millions of followers—has firsthand knowledge of this modern He needed professional help to break his own gaming habits in college, an experience that fueled his interest in learning how to help others. Drawing on Dr. K’s professional specialization in working with people of all ages and varying degrees of addiction, and the most recent research from neuroscience and psychology, How to Raise a Healthy Gamer teaches parents a new skill set for negotiating gaming culture and offers solutions rooted in the science of treating addiction,  • An eight-week, step-by-step road map for setting, enforcing, and troubleshooting healthy gaming boundaries.• Advice on how to react when your child becomes irritable, rude, or seemingly directionless.• Essential communication strategies for reaching kids who have developed a serious gaming problem.• The neuroscientific and psychological reasons that children gravitate to video games and how to help them meet these needs in real life.• Insights and advice on dealing with behavioral issues that often accompany game ADHD, spectrum disorders, and substance abuse. Whether your goal is to prepare your child for a healthy relationship to technology or to curb unhealthy amounts of time spent gaming, How to Raise a Healthy Gamer will help you better understand, communicate with, and—ultimately—empower your gaming enthusiast to live their best life.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Audiobook, Personal Development, Health

289 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2024

About the author

Dr Kanojia, known widely as 'Dr K,' is the foremost expert on video game psychology as Instructor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, a private psychiatrist working with esports professionals, and the cofounder of Healthy Gamer. He has first-hand experience as an avid gamer and due to his personal struggles with video game addiction as a teenager and young adult. Despite having loving parents who tried to help – they simply didn’t understand what they were dealing with – after two years of college, Alok had less than a 2.0 GPA. There were simply no solutions, so he first traveled to India, where he embarked on a seven year journey to become a monk. After years of dedicated practice to understand the nature of desire and overcome his own addiction, Dr. Kanojia transitioned away from a spiritual life, conducting neuroscience research at Harvard Medical School for two years. He ultimately went to medical school at Tufts University School of Medicine, and completed his psychiatry training at Massachusetts General Hospital and McLean Hospital (Respectively the #1 and #2 top psychiatric hospitals in the US) and Harvard Medical School, where he continues to teach about video game addiction. After helping gamers in his clinical practice, Dr Kanojia started Healthy Gamer, an online digital mental health platform that helps gamers and parents achieve healthy video gaming habits.

Dr K’s Healthy Gamer psychoeducational content reaches 3-5M people monthly on YouTube, and his Healthy Gamer Coaching program has helped nearly 10,000 people all over the world take control of their lives. Dr Kanojia’s Healthy Gamer programs have been proven to improve the parent-child relationship, improve mental health, and reduce addictive gaming. How to Raise a Healthy Gamer is a distillation of the most universal themes parents contend with combined with the most effective, most impactful practices from Dr Kanojia’s evidence-based programs.

Reviews

[Cari · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a parent with two screen-obsessed children, I needed this book. Although "it could be worse" with my kids--they don't exhibit all the behaviors of addiction--there are definitely some things that need to change, and I don't want to be a complacent parent. This book really helped me figure out exactly what I needed to know to communicate with my kids about games and even screens in general. Using gentle and mindful techniques, Dr. Kanojia probes the questions of why games are so addictive and what is really going on in a child's head when they engage with games. I've already enacted some of the practices to great results. I asked my younger son why he was watching YouTube, and he said because he was bored. I asked him what he would like to do, and he said he wanted to play board games. Two games of Happy Little Dinosaurs and Clue later, I had successfully pried my child away from his screen. This is a must-buy for public libraries and a great resource for anyone struggling with game-focused behavior in their children.

[lia 🎀]

being an older sister is wanting to read this book to help raise your little brother who’s addicted to video games LMAO

[Genni · Rating 4 out of 5]

I usually include a rating for writing, but ignored that this time.

If you are a parent, and have worried about technology, then chances are you’ve already done some reading on this subject. If so, some of the information about how addiction works will be familiar. If not, then it’s an extremely accessible way to learn. However, the tips that follow for those whose kids are already in the throes of addiction were the most valuable part of the book. If you are wondering how to engage with your child on the subject, then this is an excellent place to start.

[*ੈ✩‧₊˚Sassy Little Hippy˚₊‧✩ ੈ* · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 ⭐️ +++
Parental gold. A MUST READ!

🎓 Schools should give this to parents of rising kindergartners.
🍼 Parents-to-be should get this as a baby shower gift.
🎅🏼 This should be in every stocking for parents that have mentioned struggling with their children focusing or wanting to do anything other than YouTube/Gaming, etc. (me 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️)

Even if your child isn’t (yet) obsessed with gaming, the psychology is worth knowing to help prevent it.

📖 I was already impressed with this book within the first chapter - What Makes Gaming So Addictive (the Neurochemistry). Seriously, the psychology behind this really proves the addictive qualities and how it shapes our youth.

😱 So much helpful insight, like studies showing that having a game in a child’s room increases usage of up to 50 percent.

🫡 This book helps parents to come from a place of understanding, both for the psychology of it and your child’s drive for it, get on the same team as your child, and create a better environment with boundaries, structure and healthy habits.

🩺 It even covers topics like ADHD, Autism and Marijuana as it pertains to gaming addiction.

❌ What this book does NOT do, is tell you to take away gaming completely. That’s not what this is about, and it even discourages that.

😳 There were some extremely eye opening parts, including how much we enable kids to be less responsible, without realizing what we are doing. There is also a really great cheat sheet in the appendix to refer back to as a reference guide.

Thanks to NetGalley, Rosalie, Inc., and Alok Kanojia MD MPH for providing me with a complimentary ARC to review!

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

To say my hype was off the charts for not only seeing this available on NetGalley but also accepted as an early reviewer would be an understatement. (With that, I did receive this book for free in exchange for an honest review!) I am a MASSIVE fan of Dr. K and Healthy Gamer. I think him and his team do such amazing and life changing work. Hilarious timing how I was lamenting to my mom not too long ago about how disappointed I was that he hadn't yet written a book, and here it is! (And I hope there are many more!)

Speaking as someone who is NOT in the target audience for this book (I am not a parent at all, let alone of any gamers), I still found I got a LOT out of this book. Putting aside having a nephew who is getting really into gaming, there is SO MUCH in this book that can apply to, well, anything other than gaming. These are all basic psychological concepts that are used with gaming in mind, but if you're familiar enough with psychology, or really take your time with this book, keep an open mind, and see how these concepts may apply outside of gaming, there is so much knowledge to take away here that could be generally helpful to one's life.

With that, I could see this being a book I'd say every parent should read in general. It covers gaming addiction, but it could be applied to other media addictions or issues too. TV, social media, etc. Even just dealing with setting boundaries or ground rules in your household. The bare bones of the book is communicating and trying to understand your child. Building bridges to work together to cross over and reach goals (both yours AND, importantly, theirs too!). Treat them like an actual person, no matter their page, and let them feel like their thoughts and feelings matter. Something I think a LOT of adults dismiss about children.

Dr. K also goes into detail about ADHD, autism, depression, anxiety, and marijuana addiction on top of just gaming addiction, and how those things can overlap or even make things worse or more difficult for someone. (Again, replace "games" with other things, and this book covers a LOT!) As someone with depression and anxiety disorders, and suspected ADHD, I definitely felt heard reading those sections of the book. He does a fantastic job explaining these topics and gives parents really great suggestions on approaching how to deal with children with these afflictions.

Along with that, Dr. K also discusses what to do with other adults in the child's life, such as a spouse or ex, grandparents, and the child's friend's parents. Really lots of great advice there too. If not everyone is on board to make changes, it can cause a lot of cracks to fall into, and Dr. K does his best to give you the resources you need to build a solid foundation from the get-go.

Fact: From a neuroscientific perspective, gamers are actually more immature than non-gamers.

Knowing that his audience is largely gamers, as that is his brand image, I just found this line to be hilarious. He's not wrong, but, you know xD

[...] the more we strive--or intervene in our kid's lives--to keep them from failing, the more easily they will give up the responsibility to do things for themselves.

Speaking from personal experience here, I was extremely babied by my parents growing up, and having to break out of that helplessness-mindset has been one of the most difficult things for me to do. I super appreciate how much discussion the author put here in laying out how completely coddling a child can have long-term negative side effects.

If I'm sailing a boat, and I change my course by just one degree, after a year of traveling, I'll end up in a completely different place than if I hadn't made that slight course correction. That's our goal.

I love how much hope and optimism there is in this book. Again, while I'm not a parent, that quote in general can apply to so many things. He's not unrealistic about the work it will take to get there, it for sure isn't a simple or quick process, but it's doable, and he certainly does his best in making you feel capable in achieving it.

Appendixes in the book give quick overviews for skimming and getting reminders in case there are details you've forgotten or need help with, along with a potential timeline to follow.

Overall, such a fantastic read! I didn't want to rush through it since it was so much to digest. (I took so many screenshots to save for later. You could spend countless hours writing notes and journaling from this book--kids or no kids, gaming addiction or no, haha.) It was a nice way to sort of hold a mirror to myself as well. I definitely recommend this book, and Dr. K's YouTube channel HealthyGamerGG! So glad I was able to get a copy, I'll for sure be picking up copies of this to others in my life no doubt. :)

[Michael Huntone · Rating 2 out of 5]

It’s ok but not really what I was expecting. The audience seems to be parents who haven’t played a video game since the 90s with teenagers and older that spend 24 hrs a day playing video games. So the bulk of the book was about listening to your kids and talking about why they like video games and what they get out of them. And then all about setting boundaries, which is common sense parenting stuff.

I was hoping this would get more nitty gritty into the gaming community and understanding how to help them play safely without being negatively influenced by the more toxic parts of the gaming community. If that was in there i was too bored to see it by the time I got there to see it.

Silly me for thinking a book would help me understand anything online.

[Sophia Z · Rating 4 out of 5]

Both me and my husband love video games, board games, and games in general. We both grew up fascinated by video games and could remember the moment when we went “wow.” We own all the major game consoles. So I don’t have any issue with video games in our house. What I wanted to learn was how to foster a healthy gaming environment and a healthy attitude toward gaming. I would have loved more content on “raising a healthy gamer,” than “what to do if you have a very unhealthy one.” That said, this book provides a lot of insight and a whole set of tools that helps with parent-child communication in general, even if your child doesn’t have a video game problem.

[ariel *ੈ✩‧₊˚ · Rating 5 out of 5]

My boyfriend and I listened to this together not because either of us are addicted to games, are parents, or even want kids lol. He loves Dr K’s YouTube videos and has gotten me interested in them as well. I think that this is a great book and offers a lot of solid advice about gaming, setting boundaries, and how to have clear and open communication. Highly recommend!

[An Spiteri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really helpful resource not only for parents but for anyone who grew up with video games. This book does a great job of providing clinical information on the effect gaming can have on our brains during development as well as the role it can play in young people’s lives.

Furthermore, the author does an excellent job of creating a framework for parents and future parents to create a healthy dialogue with their children about gaming.

Overall, I think this is a very up-to-date and thorough guide and something that will be invaluable for future generations growing up in the digital world.

[Jonathan Li · Rating 3 out of 5]

“Change is not created, it is cultivated.” This educational book by Dr. Alok Kanojia focuses on the underlying reasons for why children and adults can easily be addicted to substances such as video games, drugs, or even social media in this modern world.

He gives brief explanations behind the science and eventually gives a well thought out solution tailored towards kids/young adults who are letting video games take control of their lives.

I find his approach to addressing these issues to be very thoughtful and detailed, especially empathetic toward the children or adults that are/have struggled with video game addictions. Dr. K even gives his own experience with failing classes and drowning himself in video games to escape reality, which creates a connection between himself and those potentially seeking help from the same situation.

This book is targeted mostly toward adults who are seeking advice on managing their child’s relationship with electronics and specifically to video games. It can still be read for reference on how addiction works and what detrimental effects it could bring if uncared for. The solutions that he uses can be thought out for oneself as well.

Overall, this book addresses how to maintain a balance for video games and life goals. But ultimately, the message is to let whoever that is seeking help realise that they have to be the ones to set their own boundaries and achieve their own goals. (With help from parents or friends around)

[Jennifer Sakash · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some good explanations about how gaming affects kids psychologically. Not quite as many concrete recommendations as I had hoped for, but a good place to start thinking about how to make positive changes.

[Dishary Hossain · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a fan of Dr. K for the past five years, I was thrilled to start this book. As someone who is anxious to start her own family one day, one factor that adds to that anxiety is the daunting task of addressing screen addiction to my future children. Though the core of this book is about video game addiction, the roadmap he draws is universal to so many facets of life: communication, boundary-setting, and compassion, just to name a few. Written in plain language, the wisdom he imparts is anything but. He was able to blend scientific explanations and therapeutic approaches seamlessly, which made this feel like a hyper-approachable textbook that should be read by every demographic (not just parents). I loved this through and through.

[Jazmin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really appreciated this book—it didn’t vilify video games. As a former gamer, it actually helped me understand why I loved playing so much. In my late teens, when I was really struggling, I was fully dedicated to gaming. I never saw it as a problem, and neither did my parents, but looking back, I can see the kind of escape I was seeking.

Now, as I’m trying to raise healthy gamers myself, this book gave me insight into how much things have changed for kids. I loved that this book focuses on understanding why kids are drawn to gaming rather than just restricting it. It helps parents see gaming through their child’s eyes, making it easier to set fair limits, encourage healthier habits, and create a more positive gaming environment without constant conflict.

[kappa_79 · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was very impressed with this gentleman when I saw him as a guest in a podcast. His insight on the human psyche was amazing.
I love the simplified way he talks to parents about video games and the addiction aspect of it. You can very well extrapolate everything he says to phone addiction or social media addiction. I would recommend this book for any parent wanting to comunícate with their child, yet not knowing how or where to start.

[Jorge Rodighiero · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good tips, especially about communication, but it could have been an article instead of a book.

[Tranylle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This outlined a really great strategy to help video game addicts overcome the addiction, while still getting to enjoy doing something they love.

[Jacquelyn Casazza · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book not only for gamer parents but any parent. Dr K provides a lot of helpful communication tips. For gamer parents especially, and for parents of neurodivergent kiddos, it is super interesting to learn how the games interact with your kiddo’s brain. This is a book I definitely plan to read and re read again as I try to work with my kids on gaming! Highly recommend, and it’s easy to read too.

[Charles Reed · Rating 1 out of 5]

29%

I see a lot of people like this book, I think that's because it is confirmational bias, however this doctor is spitting in the face of established science with every chapter, there's so much to get into here for example marijuana is not a gateway drug, some other examples he doesn't recommend nutrition properly, the screen time recommendations are a mess, sleep recommendations are absolutely awful, this is like a book for someone that doesn't know how to parents at all, some very twisted manipulative statements here on how to manipulate your child into doing things, it has a very dishonest narrative.

There's so many things you can get into with this book, my recommendation to stay away from it, way out there from established Psychiatry practices

[Bob Zhao · Rating 3 out of 5]

was a solid treatment of the subject in typical dr k fashion. even as someone v much outside the target audience, still used it to reflect on my own relationship to technology and associated addictions to the shiny shiny things.

found some of the role play examples a bit business-book plasticy but otherwise thought it illustrated some core concepts well. maybe this will be the start of my parenting book arc.

[Laurence · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found the section on communicating with an addict really useful:
- open ended questioning (no right or wrong answer. e.g. "what do you like about video games?". "do you know anyone that smokes weed?". "what are the best things about playing videogames?". "what are the worst parts of playing videogames?". "what does the life of videogames players look like?". "Are you addicted to videogames?". it's better to start off with conversations where you ask about the positives of an addiction, so as to build rapport, and to show that you aren't a threat, and aren't going to take an addicts drug away or punish them)
- reflective listening (repeating back what someone said. express intention to understand correctly. and ask if you understood correctly. "it sounds like you...". "Let me see if I understand you correctly, you...". "... did I get that right?". "... do I understand you correctly?")
- emotional validation (e.g. "that must feel isolating, you sound lonely" after someone tells you they hate going to school because they don't have any friends)
- expressing confusion (instead of casting judgement "that's wrong or bad for you" it's better to express confusion when logical inconsistencies are said, so as to lead the addict to the conclusion you want to guide them to, e.g. "I'm confused, on the one hand you find getting good grades to get a job to support your family is important, but at the same time you choose to play videogames even when you should be studying for a test")
- going meta (taking a step back, e.g. "have you noticed every time we talk about gaming we get angry with each other")

These are communication techniques that can be used to build an alliance with your child, addict, friend, partner, colleague, etc.
I think these can be used for uncomfortable conversations and disagreements in general. It's worth practicing reflective listening in normal conversations a few times before using it in high-stakes situations.

The big picture takeaway was that you can't easily cause a change in an addict if they aren't on board too. We must build an alliance with the person we are trying to help, where they feel like they have some agency over what they are working towards. Which involves having a few conversation where the threat of taking away something they want is not present, and instead I listen to what they have to say on a situation, and reflect back how that must feel for them, without invalidating their perspective, even if positively (e.g. someome says they're ugly and lonely and you say "no, you're beautiful").

The other communication takeaway was to calm the ego before engaging with the rational part of one's brain. This is somethign I've noticed in myself and others when disagreeing with them. For exmaple on politics. This oriental concept of mind that involves 3 hierarchical parts: the intuitive emotional mind ("i'm thirsty), the ego ("i'm valuable"), and the thinking rational mind ("this happened, therefore this is true"). Basically, Alok tells us that the ego overpowers the rational mind when it serves to protect our sense of self-worth, and makes us think something irrational to protect our feelings. e.g. you ask a girl out and she says no, so you say to yourself you didn't want to go out with her anyway. logically speaking, why did you ask her out if you didn't want to go out with her? But your ego will hide this from you to protect your self-worth.
Alok distinguishes between addicts before they know they have a problem and afterwards. And says that afterwards they often engage in ego driven rationalisation of their problem. They know they have a problem, e.g. they smoke weed and play games and get shit grades. But they don't want to admit it, because their ego wants to hide they have weak self control, or willpower, or have fallen behind.
Communication wise, Alok says that if you talk to someone whose ego is active you won't get through to them. the way to talk to them is the way psychiatrists usually speak to narcissists, you validate how they feel "that sounds horrible and selfish of them, you must feel disrespected", and only once their guard has been lowered, can the thinking mind accept uncomfortable ideas.
The cross-over of oriental and scientific psychology is something I expect to find in a book of Dr K's, and I appricate the way in which it is made practical for your average person, like me.

I find it hard to believe neuroscience claims that say people behave a certain way because their brain is wired differently. For example, in the ADHD or Autism Spectrum Disorder sections, I don't know how we say that the brain is wired differently. I imagine there is some kind of scan that shows more activity in parts of the brain compared to the average person without a diagnosis. But I'm sceptical of how an observation like the one I imagine is used to provide causal evidence for differnet brain wiring in people with ADHD or ASD. Even the use of the word "wiring" seems like the wrong word. This is not a criticism of the author as it is a comment on my own scepticism about out current understanding of behaviour and the brain.

There was a section on boundary setting. And my takeaway was not to set new boundaries or change boundaries at the same time I am enforcing them. Instead, I must create space to nogitiate or update boundaries in my relationship with someone, for example at a weekly chat where I give them the space to talk about how they feel about boundaries, but I must not fold on a boundary or change the punishment for breaking a boundary in the moment it is broken.
I also learnt that one shold start with like 20% of the goal they want to achieve. so if the plan is for your chlid to get all As and not play video games 5 hours a night, and have dinner at the table, and do their chores, you must start where they are at, and just do a little bit at a time, maybe initially you set the goal to be play videogames 4 hours a night, and eat at the table twice a week, and do 20% of their chores.
Another thing I remember reading was that conditioning happens immediately. Pavlov didn't use a metronome 4 hours before feeding his dogs, he would feed them immediately afterwards. If you want to positively or negatively reinforce a behaviour you must reward or punish it immediately, so that the connection is made in the subject. So if someone does something good, reward them immediately, say they did a good job, give them a gift, tell them you'll give them a reward they want. If they act out of line, punish them immediately, say you don't like it, and you will punish them for it.

[Pavithra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Eye-opening essential reading for all parents.
Full of practical tips. In the current landscape which is inundated with a deluge of gentle parenting advice, this book is a refreshing take on what boundary setting and collaborative parenting can actually look like in practice.

This book focuses specifically on video-game addiction - which is a major and emerging problem in today's world. Managing the child's attention economy seems to be the key indicator of whether or not they'd achieve their full potential.

While in the previous generations, it seemed that socio-economic factors, education opportunities etc. played a major role in predicting future outcomes for children, in the current era, it seems like screen time management would top the list. In light of this, it is an even more concerning factor for children who already come from backgrounds that put them at an inherent disadvantage.

Alok Kanojia offers a playbook and step-by-step guide to build rapport, gain trust and eventually gently nudge the addicted teenager into a more sustainable model for managing screen time.

Having been a former gamer and school-dropout himself, he speaks from a place of experience and empathy. For parents, this is a unique and an eye-opening account. An opportunity to view their child's viewpoint - a lesson in respect and empathy.

While the book focuses on video games in particular, it is easily extrapolated to fit almost any other challenging situation involving parenting.

As a parent of a preschooler to whom we offer full autonomy and agency, this was an extremely useful read. I highly recommend it.

There are some parts that were repetitive - however, these just serve as reinforcements. This was never meant to be a stylistically beautiful book.

The information in the book is valuable and a refreshing change from the extremes of gentle parenting and the Jordan Petersons of the world. A practical and helpful middle ground.

Highly recommend!

[Branimir · Rating 3 out of 5]

I honestly do not know how I ended up reading the book, as I do not have a problem with a young gamer, yet. I guess the fear of getting such at hands + the fact my daughter already has finished up a few console games led me to read the book. While it was not directly applicable to my case, I buy the psychology and logic behind the method & techniques described by the author.

The book focuses on how to get out of a case with a troublesome gamer at hand, and I also see it as a good guide for not getting there (if that is possible, of course). Dr K focuses on establishing (lost) connections based on trust and how to set meaningful boundaries where applicable (or avoid them if possible). He recognizes that the desire for gaming comes from other sources and is often related to the quick dopamine kick the play sessions provide. He is not against gaming (else I Would give it 1 star, hehe :)), and he promotes establishing healthy relationships with games and gamers.

I would say this is an OK book and worth reading. I give it three stars, as it does not fully reveal novelty to me, yet it gave me some ideas. For many, this can be a 4 or even 5-star read if they have a naughty or even nasty gamer at hand.

[Madzia Huk · Rating 4 out of 5]

Świetna pozycja dla każdego rodzica (i nie tylko!), którego dziecko ma problem z grami komputerowymi. Autor kompleksowo omawia problem i podsuwa wędkę, nie rybę – sugeruje sposoby na pomoc dziecku ze zwalczeniem uzależnienia od gier komputerowych, wskazuje, czego nie robić, wtrąca dużo przykładów ze swojego życia.
Trzeba jednak przyznać, że książka kierowana jest do osób, które raczej niewiele wiedzą o grach komputerowych. Nie jest to złe, oczywiście – omówienie problemu pozostaje aktualne – ale jednocześnie chciałabym przeczytać trochę więcej o tym, jak budować zdrową relację z grami komputerowymi już od początku, np. gdy rodzice również są graczami.
Nie zmienia to faktu, że polecam tę książkę każdemu – także tym, którzy chcą poznać powód sukcesu gier komputerowych od strony psychologicznej.

4,45/5⭐

[Chris M. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall, a very interesting read. It was interesting to learn about the neuroscience behind gaming addiction and how it's effect can resemble other forms of addiction by hijacking the dopamine reward system. The first and last sections were the most interesting, but it also provides a strategy to address gaming addiction that doesn't feel adversarial.

Some things that stood out were the concept of creating a zone of safety with firm boundaries that must be enforced. Incremental changes are also important because any intervention depends on the parent's ability to enforce it regularly. It is also important to consider the state of mind a person is in when making a change because if they are unaware, any attempt is going to be met with stiff resistance.

Highly recommend overall.

[Kamil Kuryś · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm having a bit of hard time rating this book.

First of all, IMO healthy approach to addictive pleasure is not discussed enough. Therefore, that puts HealthyGamerGG so much ahead. On top of that, the nuanced, cross-domain concepts (such as: psychology, spirituality, technology, biology etc) are presented in a very enjoyable way. This makes this book (and his other content) really worthy & pleasurable to consume at the same time.

Why the 4 stars then, if there are no cons above? This is very subjective and might not be an issue for you - this book is very much a GUIDE (well, well who would see that coming from a book titled "How to...") and I don't like that formula.

I personally think the "tutorial" parts could have been a bit reduced and/or presented in some other way to reduce that friction, but nonetheless - if you're a parent struggling with gaming (maybe yourself, maybe of your kids/spouses) - I recommend this book a lot.

[Deanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title drew me in as a mother of a child who is an emerging gamer and as a counselor who works with many youth who escape into gaming. The synopsis almost scared me away, as I worried it’d be fear mongering. But it ended up being better than I expected. It focused on harm reduction, had solid science and appropriate discussion of neurodivergence. It wasn’t anything groundbreaking, for me, but many parents would likely find it helpful. More focus on prevention (as opposed to just reaction once an issue is present) would have been great.

[Brett Lowey]

This book is ostensibly aimed primarily at parents, providing advice to help them help their children (roughly from early adolescence to mid-twenties) overcome addiction, with an emphasis on video game addiction.

However, it serves as an excellent primer on a number of communication skills such as:
-Reflective listening and
-Open ended, non judgemental, genuine questions

In addition, there are helpful chapters on common mental health pitfalls (with a particular association with problematic gaming) and what first steps to take to identify, evaluate and/or diagnose them. These include:
-ADHD
-ASD (autism spectrum disorder)
-Anxiety
-Depression
-Marijuana use

Useful and accessible, and communicated with a charming mix of technical knowledge and casual playfulness.

[Beeg Panda]

Dear future Beeg: yes, I know…straight from the coaching/child psychology/self-help gaming shelf - whodathunkit?
But ngl idk wth is so appealing about gaming
Plus, there’s some fomo too 🙄
Mostly because childy has a seemingly unhealthy addiction to the likes of Fortnite

Now, if our chile here had a READING addiction, I wouldn’t be scouring self help shelves, now would I? He’d be Kindle-ready with a long ass TBR list. But, kids today….

[R.J. Rodda]

What was useful about this book is that I realised I’m not the target audience. I don’t want to raise a healthy gamer. I don’t want my kids to have as part of their identity that they are gamers. I want gaming to just be one of many activities they do. I don’t want them to have an addiction they are managing well.

[Christian Ingersoll · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m not necessarily the intended audience of this book (I don’t have a child who is addicted to video games ) but decided to check out the audiobook because I think Dr. K is one of the best voices in the mental health space right now.
While I’m not a parent, this book has a lot of useful information on addiction, as well as helpful communication tools that would be good for conflict resolution in any relationship. Will be taking things such as reflective listening forward and will keep other the lessons in mind for when I do have kids (tools in the toolbox)