Fish Bites Cop! Stories To Bash Authorities

by David James Keaton

Fish Bites Cop! Stories To Bash Authorities is a whole trunk of surprises. A collection of horror, dark crime, pulp, and slipstream lampoonery that gleefully rips on police officers, security guards, organized religion, firefighters, police officers, bounty hunters, dyslexic paramedics with dog complexes, police officers, military, middle management, and even more police officers. Bad Cop movies are usually just bad cop movies. It's time they paid for it.

Genres: Horror, Short Stories, Humor, Fiction

280 pages, Paperback

First published July 7, 2011

About the author

David James Keaton received his MFA from the University of Pittsburgh and was the co-founder and Editor-in-Chief of Flywheel Magazine. His first collection of fiction, FISH BITES COP! Stories To Bash Authorities, was named the 2014 Short Story Collection of the Year by This Is Horror. Kirkus spotlighted his debut novel, THE LAST PROJECTOR, calling it "rapidly paced and loaded with humor... a loopy, appealing mix of popular culture and thoroughly crazy people." His second collection of fiction, STEALING PROPELLER HATS FROM THE DEAD, received a Starred Review from Publishers Weekly, who said, "The author's joy in his subject matter is obvious, often expressed with a sly wink and a wicked smile. Decay, both existential and physical, has never looked so good.” His most recent novel, HEAD CLEANER, was recommended by Booklist and Library Journal, who called it "light and breezy with dark undercurrents that keep the reader off-kilter" as well as "great fun." He also teaches composition and creative writing at Santa Clara University in California.

Reviews

[Frank · Rating 3 out of 5]

To say FISH BITES COP! author Davind James Keaton has a chip on his shoulder would be the understatement of the year. In FISH BITES COP! (Stories To Bash Authorities) Keaton let's loose on anyone with an ounce of authority, and it's not pretty. If you're a fan of that guy who wrote FIGHT CLUB you too will soon forget what's his name after reading the new bad ass in town, David James Keaton.

So now you're thinking, "I'm cool, f#&k tha po-po, I can be down with this Keaton dude," but you better check yourself before you wreck yourself. Hidden in each of the stories in this collection are pop culture dress downs the likes which have not been seen since John Bender dressed down Principal Vernon in THE BREAKFAST CLUB. You best make sure you have all the cool movies picked out or Keaton will leave you feeling like a quivering mess who only enjoys movies on par with Barney the Purple Dinosaur.

If you can get past all that without drawing a single bead of sweat then you are in for a treat. This is dark, crimey, noir without an ounce of mercy to show for it. Each story punctuated by what I now have come to discover is The David James Keaton Ending. A unique short story ending technique that has your barreling along down a one way street doing 70 when all of a sudden DJK slams on the breaks and sets the car into a skid. You grab hold of anything you can clinch your fists around only to find yourself miraculously come to rest between two parked cars with barely an inch of space in front and back of each bumper.

What the hell does all that mean you ask? It means David James Keaton's FISH BITES COP! is not my usual fare but the stories in this collection were a breath of fresh air, even if said air was tainted with spit, sh!t and maybe a little blood. If you like your fiction all too real, maybe a bit dark and sadistic and definitely laced with thick,gooey sarcasm then this book and this writer are for you! Three stars because it's not my usual reading fodder but for people into this stuff a definite 4 to 5 star effort.

[David Keaton · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was weird reading this, like the author was in my head the whole time.

[Amy Lueck · Rating 5 out of 5]

FISH BITES COP! is an impressive display of dexterity in its manipulation of genres and defiance of readers' expectations. Beyond experimenting with different genres and voices, the stories in this collection blend and cross forms and styles in a way that keeps the reader guessing and rewards careful attention and rereading.

One of my favorites in this collection was a story called "Clam Digger," in which a man grapples to reconstruct and understand a terrifying childhood memory of the day his brother disappears. The man's account limns the supernatural, as monsters in the sand meld with traces of domestic abuse and trauma, leaving the reader to decide what is real versus what is a fantastic construction of the child's imagination--and to decide which option would be worse. Stories such as this push the boundaries of horror and crime genres with a mix of both humor and deadly gravity, just as the "authorities" that the subtitle of this book promises to bash run the gamut. From police officers to coaches to fathers, the abuses of authority evoked in each of these stories ties the collection together, while providing the author a long leash for exploring themes and forms that definitely pays off.

[Michael Fierce]

I have to win this Giveaway. I freakin HATE cops more than anybody and this looks like a fun read.

[Heath Lowrance · Rating 5 out of 5]

A stylishly written middle finger to authority figures in all their guises. Keaton picks his targets well in these stories, reducing them to their essential ridiculousness in an enviable way-- but to his credit, that doesn't mean the stories or characters are ridiculous. Keaton invests in them as fallible human beings, and makes the reader invest in them as well. Beneath the thin veneer of humor in each story is something a little darker, and a little more desperate. Recommended.

[Booked podcast · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hear our complete review on our website: http://www.bookedpodcast.com/2013/05/...

[Benoit Lelièvre · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some hacks love to use words like 'unadorned' to hide the fact that their prose is garbage and you need to read authors like David James Keaton to understand it. DJK turned 'unadorned' into a science. His wicked sense of humour and his earnest, working class hatred for cops make FISH BITES COP a tremendous success.

There were a lot of standout stories in the collection, but my favourite was KILLER COACHES. From reading the title, I thought it was a Western, but it's a lot cooler than that. KILLER COACHES is the story of a friendly neighborhood teenager psychopaths who subscribes to different sports in order to murder the hell out of their mediocre adult coaches. It's a lot of fun. Stories like CLAM DIGGER and QUEEN EXCLUDER are also worth the detour. This collection is a lot of fun if you fear and loathe and hate cops like I do.

[Great Writers Steal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mr. Keaton is very clear with regard to the theme of his collection. Each of these stories does indeed involve “authorities.” There are police officers, the captain of a fishing vessel, high school coaches, paramedics…Mr. Keaton may be very focused, but he doesn’t have a one-track mind. Indeed, Fish Bites Cop! is bursting with creativity; the gentleman doesn’t go more than a page or so without turning an underlinable phrase or making some kind of connection that may elude most readers. (Why else do we read, after all?)

Writers will be interested to know that the book offers a number of important lessons in craft:

http://www.greatwriterssteal.com/2014...

[Chad · Rating 3 out of 5]

As usual, many thanks to the author, publisher and Goodreads for my free copy of this book.

Keaton has written a bizarre, horrendous and hilarious group of stories that I found to be much like a train wreck. I just couldn't stop reading. The shorts in this book made me go through a wide range of emotion. Everything from disgusted to saddened to flat out belly laughing. If you are the type of person that sometimes wishes those in uniform would get theirs, then this is the book for you. Not for the faint of heart, this book contains some true horror gems.

On a personal note, thanks for the very creative salutation David! The drawing was awesome!

[Salvatore Pane · Rating 5 out of 5]

More to come soon, but these stories are dark, hilarious, and badass as shit. Keaton drags plotless, boring fiction into the street and blows it away with a 12 gauge in front of its loved ones. Dope as hell.

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is nice break when read in conjunction with the type of literature that takes itself too seriously. It's not overly intellectual, but is a lot of fun if you're into the obscenity and ultra-violence which come with the territory of the aesthetic. I enjoyed many of the stories, which are narrative and plot driven and quickly developed.

My main criticism is that the book may have included too many variants on the same theme--for example, there were at least a dozen references to a smattering bloodstain looking like a "comet," and other descriptors that were used time and time again throughout which lent the book a feeling of disjointed retreading of familiar territory. Slightly comical that the one description that was used most often also happens to be the title of the press from which the title sprung. For this, I blame the editor.

Overall, though, I did enjoy the stories. They are well-written and help me to remember to make the writing and reading exercise enjoyable.

[Rory Costello · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had to tell myself to slow down while reading this collection. I started off wanting to read them all together, but there's so much going on here and in such unusual meters that I found it best to take a couple at a time and then come back after enjoying something else for a while.

Keaton's got a lot of talent and he's off-the-wall funny, but I still don't think it's all sunk in for me. It's like Dada or free jazz...something radical that's hard to appreciate fully at first.

I had a similar feeling after reading "The Least of My Scars" by Stephen Graham Jones. I'm likely to rethink my position after a while.

[Ubernoodle · Rating 4 out of 5]

The hate is spread all around in David James Keaton's "Fish Bites Cop!" as Mr. Keaton (a professor at Elizabethtown Community and Technical College) takes on authority figures of all types, from police officers to firemen, with a mix of humor and horror. Some of the stories are duds, particularly toward the middle of the book, but Keaton excels when he uses his unhinged characters to capture our own insane day dreams of conquering the authorial roadblocks in our lives. The last story in the book ("9 Cops Killed For A Goldfish Cracker") is a violent gut-punch that's worth the price of admission alone.

[Edward Rathke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dark and dangerous, but conversational and funny. Very solid collection.

My interview with David at Monkeybicycle.

[Julie · Rating 1 out of 5]

really wanted to like the short stories in this book, but just couldn't find one I liked. I will give this author another chance sometime