Damaged Angels

by Larry Benjamin

First Digital Printing: Bold Strokes Books, Inc. October, 2012

Damaged Angels is the first collection of short fiction by Larry Benjamin. The 13 stories in this collection give voice to the invisible, the damaged: the drug addicts and hustlers, the mentally ill, the confused, and the men who fall in love with them, all of them bravely trying to make a place for themselves in the world of unbroken men. Their worlds are sometimes the mean streets of decaying cities, sometimes the great beyond and, once, the earth itself.

Often dark, always evocative and lyrical, these stories delve into the lives of men clearly less-than-perfect and explore love in the context of disease and oncoming death as in "The Cross," drug addiction, as in "The Seduction of the Angel Gabriel," and mental illness in "2 Rivers."

These stories explore the possibility that less-than-perfect is sometimes perfect.

Genres: Anthologies, M M Romance

214 pages, Paperback

First published October 1, 2012

About the author

Writer. Wordsmith. Author.
Words, You See, are the Thing

Bronx-born wordsmith, Larry Benjamin is the author of Excellent Sons: A Love Story in Three Acts, a 2022 Lambda Literary Award winner in the Gay Romance category and a 2022 Next Generation Indie Book Award Finalist; Unbroken, a 2014 Lambda Literary Award finalist and a 2014 IPPY (Independent Publishers Book Award) Gold medalist; The Sun, The Earth & The Moon; In His Eyes; Damaged Angels, a collection of short stories [out of print]; and Vampire Rising, an allegorical novella. His latest novel, He, will be published in October 2025.

His work has been published by Carina Press, a Harlequin imprint, Bold Strokes Books, and Beaten Track Publishing.

He lives in Philadelphia with his husband Stanley and their two rescue dogs, Atticus and Gatsby. He is at work on his next novel.

Reviews

[Mel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love to read short stories between longer reads, and so I am always on the lookout for new ones. I was delighted to find this collection by Larry.

It's interesting that these stories all have a root in reality and are adapted from real people.

I've reviewed some of the stories on their own... But let me generally say that Larry writes great short stories and really knows how to work with the format. He just has such a great way with words.

The Cross

I've come such a long way, but I guess nowt changes except ourselves. Friends who've known me longer will know that once upon a time my usual choice of book was, like, the opposite. I chose fluffy every day, and something even a wee bit sad made me run the other way.


'The Cross' is one sad story of love. A story of love that is seldomly told, because not every love story has a happy ending. Often life just takes us to places we wouldn't have chosen.

i think i wanted to die then, to rip from my chest the compliant and resilient heart that had led me on my search for love.

Written in letter form, the story of C and S is beautifully told. Larry has such a way with words and language, it's so touching it hurts.

that we are happy is a miracle in itself. and if we are happy, it is a happiness wrought from grief.


I love the idea of one broken typing machine—the capital letters are broken—that allows a distinction between C's and S's letters. Made me smile :-)


I loved it. It made me cry. It hits too close to home. Losing a loved one is the horror scenario for me and probably everyone else.



***


Precious Cargo

Sometimes, love is not pretty. Sometimes, it's sad and cruel and cowardly. Sometimes, it hurts and fucks up your whole life.

We are both unhappy, both victims of his cowardice. "I'm sorry, Julio."
"For what?"
"I never wanted you to be my dirty little secret or my shame—"

This was not a likeable story. It was so very hard, harder than death. Because there was no ending. An ending would have been mercy.

Regretting the lie, unable to watch him die, I turn. Beyond the window, the white morning stretches, like my love for him: silent eternal, inescapable as a tomb.

This was not a likeable story, but I liked to read it anyway. It's good it was short, though ;-)


I love Larry's writing style. It's very beautiful and special.



***


17 Days

Huh... I don't know what to say. I couldn't connect to this story. I... huh?



***


Spam

Oh my... this one's a riddle. At least to me. It's kinda impossible to say what's real and what not. And while I'm confused, I still appreciate this. In the end it doesn't really matter what exactly went down here. Beware of spoilers from here on:

"I don't want any other friends. Angel is the best friend in the world." Billy's face betrayed an emotion so intense, so pure that his father envied him that friendship.

[His mother:] "Make some other friends. I want you to have other friends—"
"No, you don't. You don't want me to have any friends." Billy screamed. "You just want to keep me locked up in this house with you forever! [...] Well, you can't stop me—"

It's as if there were two Angels.

Angel and I are the same person. If you don't believe me, call Angel. I will answer.

Okay, I think what is definitely true is that the mother is the worst mother and person ever. She suffocates everyone around her, not only her son.

And, well the rest has me guessing if the transformation from Billy to Angel is but a metaphorical one—in the way that he took a stand against his mother—or if Angel was maybe also a real friend—because the teacher talks about two boys.

So, in the end, I'm actually not sure if this is a good ending, because Billy became the boy he wanted to be, or if this is the worst ending, because Billy / Angel was so damaged by his mother that he lost himself and became mentally ill.

Or if maybe only the last paragraph is real and the rest was all moonshine.

It seems this is all up to interpretation ;-)

ETA: My review prompted Larry to write this blog post about the story. So check it out if you want to know how this story came to life.


***


2 Rivers


"When Jordan looks at me, I feel like a hero."
"And what about me? What do you feel when I look at you?"
"I feel the weight of your loneliness."

Such a tragic, yet beautiful story of love in all it's forms. Love is needing and taking care of someone. Love is pure and ugly. Sometimes two people belong together despite everything. And sometimes love is unrequited, too. This is a story about all of these.

Also about addiction and losing one's mind.

Jordan was alone.
He missed Seth. He believed in Seth. Seth was his religion, his saviour. It was to Seth that he prayed. And in him alone, he had complete faith.

And sometimes it's just too much. But we never give up.

Yes, Seth thought without cruelty. Perhaps that would be best. Let him die. Let me be...free...


***


The Seduction of the Angel Gabriel

In between the ugliness of drug seduction there is something lovely like a fairytale.

"I'll get out, but you keep your money. This one was on the house. Chalk it up to love." [...] Without a backward glance, he walks out. His child shrieking, The money! You forgot the money!

But this is no fairytale. Love cannot safe all.


***


The Hunger

What do you hunger for? How does it influence your life?


***


A Working Boy

Oh. Oh, this was beautiful.

I love how hustling wasn't treated as something utterly awful. The protagonist's encounters were a mixture of bored day-to-day job and a surprising positive experience.

This had a lovely ending, though. I especially loved that he changed his name, a manifestation of making a new beginning.


***


Intermezzo

Hmmmm :) This was nice, I guess :) Had one of the best lines: "You," he blurted, "are the ninth wonder of the world."

I think I didn't really grasp this, though. As an intermezzo I'd say it doesn't matter ;-)


***


Chance's Hand

I'm always so happy if one of these stories turns out to be... happy. Heh. Because, well, we shouldn't take it for granted in life, as this anthology shows.

This story was really touching and I deeply felt for the protagonist's unfortunate situation.

And I’d flown. High and determined, I’d flown right into a brick wall. I’d left myself behind like a snake’s shed skin. Sometimes I could hear the rattling breath, the struggle to breathe free.

All the more happy was I when things turned to the better for him. This was just lovely.

An apology died stillborn on the lips of each as something in the one stopped running and fell to its knees in surrender and something in the other danced in the happiness of discovery.

Lovely.

[willowdog · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thirteen well defined and engaging stories of peopled with the fringes of society and the men who love men.

[Debbie McGowan · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this, the second book by Larry Benjamin, the author turns his hand to short stories and the results do not disappoint. As always, it is a struggle to explain why without offering spoilers, but I think I've managed it.

As the 'blurb' suggests, these stories "...give voice to the invisible, the damaged: the drug addicts and hustlers, the mentally ill, the confused, and the men who fall in love with them..." and within each tale this theme is explored with a non-judgemental tenderness, which draws on the author's penchant for effectively dumping the reader right in amidst events as they unfold. Thus, in 'The Hunger' (one of my two personal favourites), I found myself standing across the street, not merely observing, but hearing and smelling—I could almost reach out and touch the activities taking place on the "...small outpost in the urban jungle...known as The Merry-Go-Round".

'The Hunger' is, perhaps, more of a very short novel than a story, in that it is separated into chapters relating to each of the characters, and follows them until their lives eventually converge into one narrative thread. Larry Benjamin produces such rich characterisation that I felt at times the medium of the short story didn't show this off to full effect, although the sense of scraping just below the surface, whether deliberate or not, is most apt in conveying the transient existence that comes with hustling, addiction and/or mental ill-health. However, The Hunger, for me, offers the best of both worlds, for it allows the reader a chance to know these men, to go beyond the costume and props that make them so easy to ignore when presented 'in the flesh'. In this respect, the author's extensive research and meticulous attention to detail pays real dividends.

The other story which especially shines out to me is 'Howdy, Billy. Cabbage, Ma'am', in the first instance for its title, which I still can't get out of my head, and in the second for a hilarious incident involving an egg. The tale is so wonderfully camp and farcical, as evident right from the first paragraph: "I once met a woman who had three sons, all of whom she named Pablo—Pablo Jose, Juan Pablo, and finally Pablo Pablo." It gets evermore absurd thereafter, and is a much welcomed light relief after the often tragic, darker stories that precede it.

Overall, 'Damaged Angels' is a beautiful collection of stories, some short, some a little longer, all presenting a side of life that most of us do not see, by reason of choice or privilege. They are often gritty, sometimes erotic, occasionally surprising (it had never occurred to me how a man might fake an orgasm - I'm not sure I'm glad for the knowledge, but anyway...), always vivid. Personally, I'd love to read more about many of the characters in this book, and I feel honoured to have been introduced to them.

[Elisa Rolle · Rating 5 out of 5]

2013 Rainbow Awards Honorable Mention (5* from at least 1 judge)

[Kevin Orth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful, poetic, tragic prose. Wonderfully written!