What Can I Do About Me

by Rhyll Anne Croshaw

What Can I Do About Me? shines light on the darkness of pornography and sexual addiction, the trauma felt by loved ones, and the hope that recovery and peace are possible. It is my hope that this book will help you find . . . -A pathway to healing -Hope in the present and in your future -An understanding of what real recovery looks and feels like This path to peace includes: -Recognizing that there is no way but through -Setting boundaries is the most loving thing I can do -Forgiveness is not the same as trust -I can’t, but He (God) can, and I will let Him -Having gratitude in the present moment -Self-care is His care -I’ll row my own boat -I can live happily. . . one day at a time

Genres: Nonfiction

196 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2012

Reviews

[Natalie Levie · Rating 5 out of 5]

An empowering and uplifting book on how the only person you can really change is yourself, and that healing from the trauma of a loved one's addiction is possible! By developing a relationship with God, and focusing on things you can do, you can have a happy and peaceful life, regardless of the choices of others who have hurt you.

[Lindsey R.B. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this book is as clear and straightforward as it gets on how an afflicted partner of a sex addict can take care of themselves (whether they remain in the relationship or not). I have so, so many takeaways from Rhyll’s thoughts and insights, but my biggest is that sex addiction in a relationship is really just a catalyst for teaching us lessons we all need to learn about emotional self-reliance, surrender to a Higher Power, focus on what we CAN control, and finding gratitude, peace and hope in the present moment. Truly, the lessons are timeless regardless of our circumstances. I recommend this for everyone, whether or not you are personally affected by sexual addiction!

[William Keyser · Rating 5 out of 5]

A True Pioneer

Rhyll, your courage, spirit and long years of suffering help me to see that pain, suffering , and disappointment I have given my beautiful wife.

She is truly the best part of me. I have followed that dragon in the gates of hell. I am now in true recovery for the past 15 months. My eyes and my heart are open. You have shown me a path to help my wife overcoming and overtake these difficulties that I placed at her feet.

Thank you for your courage

[Kristen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Changed my perspective

This book has changed my perspective in so many ways. The vulnerability shown in sharing such a heart wrenching story made me much more open to hear just what I needed to hear. I also loved reading the stories included in the appendix, from a different point of view. If you can, listen to the audiobook - it makes it that much more personal.

[Tamara Hyland · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very difficult but timely topic. I’m so relieved that I am not alone and can find other women who can help me as we progress with this debilitating and demonic addiction. Thanks for sharing your experiences!

[Jonathan B · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life changing

As a husband (of 22 years) who has struggled with pornography for over 30 years, this book gave insights to my wife's experience that I had never known or considered.
I think this would be a very helpful read for anyone who is affected by the pull or pornography.

[Whitney Redfern · Rating 5 out of 5]

There were a few insights I didn't quite agree with, but over all I found this book extremely helpful. I appreciate Rhyll's openness and value her perspective.

[Lacey Haskell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was led to this book a few days after “D-day,” and it was life-changing. I’m so grateful this book came into my life when I needed it the most.

[Dawn Fife · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read !

Such a great book I couldn't put it down once I started reading it. It addresses so many issues and offers so many answers. Her story is so close to mine and gives me hope.

[VeeDawn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was recommended to me by one of the women in the addiction support group where Steve and I are missionaries. It has a lot of great stuff especially for wives of men who are addicted.
Some of my favorite quotes:
"I've heard it said that when you're in your own head, you're behind enemy lines."
"Not one of us has the capacity to control someone else's behavior, but still we try, try, try."
"I needed to take a deeper look at myself and say, What can I do about me? Is the way I am reacting to this situation healthy?"
"God is doing things in our lives that sometimes hurt abominably. They are very painful. Yet what He is doing is transforming us from average women to exceptional women. The process is not easy, and it's certainly not comfortable, but it is worth it."
"There isn't a thing we can do about other people's choices, and the pain of worrying about them or trying to control them makes us feel crazy! It steals the joy that we could be experiencing right now. This is a true and life-changing concept."
"And they lived happily ... one day at a time."

[Kalisha Grimsman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book to prepare for my Relief Society lesson on pornography. Rhyll Croshaw gives an honest account of her struggles dealing with her husband's pornography and sexual addiction. In doing so she provides validation to other women that they are not alone in dealing with this issue. She explains some of the normal feelings and responses, gives examples of what addict behavior and recovery behavior look like in others, and how to find healing and recovery yourself as the partner or spouse of an addict. She also discusses healthy boundaries and other tools that spouses can use in their recovery journey. The title acknowledges the central point of the book- that while you cannot control anyone else's behavior, you can find peace and live and joyful life with gratitude, moving one day at a time and surrendering your fears to God. Although she never planned to write a book, I am grateful that she opened up about her personal experiences to be a resource to others.

[Cara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rhyll writes on of those topics no one even knows where to begin looking for help, and from personal experience! Since sexual and pornography addiction is uncomfortable to address, and yet we all know someone who it affects, we all need to be more proactive about educating ourselves and our families in order to combat the darkness it brings to our society. And I feel this book is helping me do that! Incredible honesty, loaded with practical and specific tools that work, a clear understanding of true recovery... This book makes you feel direction, purpose, and opens your eyes to the choices you have; individually and in a marriage. I can't say enough about how amazing this book is. I recommend this to everyone.

[Dianna Davidson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is changing my life and has empowered me in a way I can't even begin to describe. Even if you are not directly involved with someone who has a sexual/pornography addiction, this book is a must read because of its overall general benefit in coping with life's challenges. Whatever your specific trial might be, this book can be instrumental in directing your energy and focus on the changes YOU can make in your life instead of always pointing fingers of blame at others. Being able to look more closely at myself, acknowledging the character flaws I have that are getting in the way of having a peaceful, more successful life, and then having a road map directing me toward that more peaceful, successful life is invaluable.

[Jared · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thankful to read of another persons spiritual whirlwind. I find it very true if you are not paddling up stream you are going to fall down the waterfall just as the book cover depicts. But, She and her husband paddle with all there might and they succeed in there journey. I guess so far there is still a ways for there journey but it is inspiring to see the path they choose. I personally think it is the path that matters most.

[Diana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think Rhyll did an amazing job with this book. If you or anyone you know is struggling with a loved one with a sexual addiction, this fine woman understands you, has lived through it, and has risen above it with her marriage in tact. I happen to know the author well... And she is amazing.

[Laurel · Rating 5 out of 5]

It has been a blessing to know Rhyll. She's one of the strongest women of our day. I read this book from cover to cover and believe it will lift and inspire every woman who reads it.

[Andrea Standing · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent insight in helping to heal.

[Jaylynn Gold · Rating 5 out of 5]

My recovery bible; read it several times, and recommended to anyone I meet who walks this path.