Raising Blaze: A Mother and Son's Long, Strange Journey into Autism – An Honest Memoir About a Neurodivergent Child Who Defied Labels

by Debra Ginsberg

When you have a child that doesn't fit in, what do you do? Debra Ginsberg knew that her son, Blaze, was unique from the moment he was born in 1987. What she didn't know was that Blaze's differences would be regarded by the outside world not as gifts, but as impediments to social and academic success. Blaze never crawled. He just got up and walked when he turned one. He called his mother 'Zsa Zsa' until he was three. By kindergarten, he loved the music of Miles Davis and Ella Fitzgerald. He fears butterflies and is fascinated by garbage trucks.

With the same honesty that made Waiting a success, Raising Blaze: Bringing Up an Extraordinary Son in an Ordinary World chronicles Debra's experience in raising a child who has defied definition by the host of professionals who have sought to label his differences. Ginsberg introduces us to a remarkable child and her own unusual childhood. She writes about a family which shows us the redemptive power of faith, humour and love.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Parenting, Psychology, Family, Biography Memoir

320 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2002

About the author

Debra M. Ginsberg is a London born, American author. She is the author of three memoirs as well as two novels. Her first memoir Waiting: The True Confessions of a Waitress was published by HarperCollins Publishers in 2000, followed by Raising Blaze: A Mother and Son's Long, Strange Journey Into Autism, which chronicled her longtime struggle to get her son the education he was entitled to.

Find Debra on Facebook:
Twitter.com/DebraMGinsberg

Follow Debra on Twitter:
Facebook.com/DebraGinsbergWriter

Reviews

[Ellen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Raising Blaze: Bringing Up an Extraordinary Son in an Ordinary World by Debra Ginsberg is a beautifully written account of a mother bringing up a bright, creative child who doesn't fit into any of the available slots our society has created. Having a child like that myself, a child who was eventually for lack of any better classifications, diagnosed as having Asperger's Syndrome, I identified enormously with Ginsberg's love, frustrations, pains, and joys. She shows herself to be a devoted mother and effective advocate, while remaining a warm, talented very human person. The book does not fall into the traps so many of these books do where the identity of either the parent in their portrayal of their child or the child in the portrayal of the parent's struggle is lost or falls into some stereotypical type of "devoted" mother, "misunderstood" or "challenging" child. The people in this memoir remain as human and individual as humans in life are, thereby making the struggles, disappointments, and triumphs so much more exciting and vivid.

I have read this book repeatedly over the years. It has given me strength when I felt I could not go on trying to advocate for my son and company when I felt alone in my struggle. Debra Ginsberg has come to feel like a friend, and I have eagerly read and enjoyed her other books, the funny memoir Waiting : the True Confessions of a Waitress about her jobs as a waitress and the touching self-explanatory . IAbout My Sisters. I have also read and greatly liked her novel, The Grift.

I am a huge fan of Ginsberg and her the warmth of her presence as comes through her memoirs. I have wondered for years how Blaze is doing and so recently emailed her to ask how he has done. To my pleased surprise, she wrote me a beautiful, lengthy reply which I printed out (of course) and will always treasure.

The great news: Blaze is in college and is coming out with his own memoir next year. I can hardly wait for it!

If you've read House Rules by Jodi Picoult I suggested also reading Raising Blaze: Bringing Up an Extraordinary Son in an Ordinary World for sense of the actual experience of raising a child who appears to be on the spectrum. The book is a true account written by a skilled writer (who is also a novelist) and brings together a high level of craft with the authenticity of lived experience.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

A bit sad and disturbing, this book chronicles Debra Ginsberg's struggles with the school system when her son is growing up. She struggles to find a diagnosis for him, as he seems alternately creative and talented in some areas, but unable to function in a school environment, at least in other people's eyes. I thought she did a nice job of raising questions in the reader's mind because the way she sees her own son is so different from the comments of school officials and the conflicting reports of psychiatrists. Yet one psychologist asked if her son would simply have been considered eccentric if she had been wealthy. The end of the book seems to conclude he has some form of autism, but the book still raises a lot of food for thought, beyond the diagnosis.

If you wondered why a writer like Debra Ginsberg just worked as a waitress instead of having a more ambitious career, this book gives you the reason why; she was preoccupied with advocating for her son.

I found it interesting but sad. I think it would be very hard to be in her shoes, but I see how her son is also a joy to her. A fast read.

[╟ ♫ Tima ♪ ╣ ♥ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Basic Summary: Debra Ginsberg wrote a memoir about her years in the food industry (Waiting: The True Confessions of a Waitress). Waiting was full of spelling and grammar error; which I found funny since she stresses how she ended up working with a book packaging company and reading manuscripts/etc for a living..and this book is only slightly better in the amount of errors. As I typed this sentence, I discovered that she has actually 8 books, which is about 6 more than I thought she had.

Anyways, she had a son, named Blaze - (really?) who had a very rough entrance into the world. His umbilical cord was wrapped twice around his neck. As he got older, his school requested to place him in special-ed as, he was displaying inappropriate social behavior and a severely low academic gain. She is convinced that they're all nutbergers and her son is a genius with a unique look on life. Her and her parents think all doctors are wrong, all the time and that all test results regarding everything are wrong.

She goes as far as burying a psychiatrist's evaluation (which said that tests leaned towards something on the autism spectrum and clearly noted that they were inconclusive) in a pile of papers and not turning it into the school because she felt it was a "betrayal". Then, she decided to start the 4th grade WITH HIM. Joined his class. To sit there with him. Quit her well-paying job and went back to waitressing so she could impair her son's education. And that's where I am so far..

Final Impression: There is absolutely no denying that the author is an extremely loving and dedicated mother. I just don't think we'd get along based on her parental choices; but that's what made the book so interesting to read. She was nasty to all the teachers she met, they were nasty to her (from her perspective?), she ignored every single diagnosis and advice about her son and even pulled him out of school to homeschool him in lieu of addressing his behavioral problems.

I disagreed with just about every move she made but I've never lived it so I maintain major respect for her devout dedication to her son.

[Dereth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I plunged into Raising Blaze on the recommendation of a family member. Raising Blaze is an awakening. I have no first-hand experience with autism outside of the occasional encounter in the workplace. Ginsberg, and through her, her son, reveal an inside portrait of a life unknown to me. I must say that, for all the good help and support Blaze received along the way, I would have reached through time and space to throttle a few of his teachers.

[Heidi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Debra thought everything was fine until her son, Blaze, started school. His had been a difficult birth and he struggled with issues like asthma, but other than that he seemed like a normal kid. He didn't spend much time around other kids but seemed to be hitting all of his developmental milestones.

But on the first day of kindergarten (literally the very first day, if Debra's memories are accurate) his teachers knew there was something different. After observing Blaze in class for just three hours on his first day of school, his kindergarten teacher insisted he go into the special ed classroom. Debra would spend the next 8 years (probably more, but the book ended there) being her son's advocate. Blaze wasn't slow, she argued, he just saw things differently. He spoke metaphorically and could easily be overwhelmed by other people's emotions.

Trying to fit her square peg son into the round hole of a school classroom was made harder in an era of ever-increasing class sizes and pressure for high test scores. I felt for the teachers as well as for Blaze and his mother. The story is from Debra's point of view, of course, and she got along with very few of her son's teachers and administrators. I'm sure they had their own stories to tell.

I wish there were more insights here about what could have been done and how to help kids who aren't mainstream.

[Rita · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written book.. I read it in 24 hours. Having worked in classrooms with children who have no diagnosis, my heart ached. I would like to see this as required reading for mainstream teachers, but I'm afraid they would blow it off as the writings of an over-protective parent; so many of them don't get it and too many don't want to. Ginsberg admits her own eccentric background almost as an excuse. But aren't we all eccentric in our own way? I was happy to read so much about her family and how they were able to work together as adults to help raise Blaze. I was saddened when Ginsberg spoke of her family as if there was something wrong with the way they lived. I don't think she meant it to come through that way, but it did for me. Her family seem to be compassionate, caring, loving, and successful people. Debra Ginsberg has an incredible talent for mothering and for writing and I highly recommend this book.

[Kylie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had a very hard time putting this book down. Debra Ginsberg is a gifted writer (I started reading Waiting, but wasn't able to finish it before it had to be returned to the library, so it's back on the hold list!)

I have a son named Blaise, which was actually what first drew me to this book. My Blaise is different. Another thing that drew me in. The way she describes having him diagnosed, or attempting to have him diagnosed, is all exactly how I felt going through this with my Blaise. I just really loved her book. I, too, have been forced to attend school with my Blaise (now, granted, she wasn't really forced) to help him to focus and control his impulses. I also do not have the problems at home that they have at school.

For me it's a five star book because I just completely relate to her and her struggles. And, I bought her Blaze's book because it gives me hope.

[Nikki Byer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book even though there were many things I disagreed with. As a classroom teacher for 39 years, I can relate to the school's perspective. As a grandmother raising my grandson who is on the autism spectrum, I have to wonder if the author had taken the advice of the psychologists and psychiatrists and perhaps gotten some outside therapy for Blaze, if perhaps the outcome would have been different. Going by the descriptions she presented, he has many of the symptoms of autism. My grandson had some of the same behaviors, but we really work within the school system as well as having him receive outside therapy and now that he is in high school he is almost normal.
The book was a fast and enjoyable read, but I was sometimes frustrated with the author's decisions.

[Alicia Lyle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book for a graduate course on creating and sustaining positive classroom environments. I NEVER expected to enjoy this book the way I did. As someone who has been in classrooms with students eerily similar to Blaze, I've felt exhaustion toward parents who I felt were either blissfully ignorant, or neglecting to do their part. This is the first time I've ever heard a personal account of what it is like to be the parent of a student navigating the world of special education, and it has definitely caused me to (at the very least) think twice before I pass a silent judgement on a parent.

This book reads like a story rather than a memoir. I hated putting the book down, and found myself constantly interested in what Blaze would encounter next. Definitely a worthwhile read.

[Shawna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've read a number of books written by parents who obsess over their children's problems, the ones that immediately come to mind are "Augusta, Gone," "Live Through This" and "Beautiful Boy" and there comes a point in each of these memoirs where the reader, or at least I, fatigue and find I am no longer interested in the minutiae of someone else's children's problems. Even so, I did finish this book and found it to be enlightening in what it exposed about the morass our current educational system and how any child who doesn't have a strong and savvy advocate will likely be drugged into submission or marginalized to make it easier for the system to fuction.

[Veronica · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVE this book. As a mother of a child with special needs, I so appreciated this candid view of how schools operate when a child needs more. The author has a son who is out of the ordinary. He knows jazz musicians by the age of 5 and numbers are colors to him. He just doesn't fit in and his mother battles the school to get him the help he needs. The writing is beautiful and the story a touching illustration of how far a mother will go to help her child. Read it even if you don't have a child with special needs!

[Andrea · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you want to dive into the world of special education, unusual children, and the public school system, this book is interesting. It's even interesting if you're not into these things. Blaze, Ginsberg's son, is somewhere in the world of not normal, but undiagnosable. Ginsberg reveals her life and her son's life in this novel as they navigate from a complicated child birth to the 7th grade. It's well written and full of the details that make us see and examine our less then our perfect thoughts.

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

As parent of a wonderfully eccentric son, I gobbled up this account of a mother coping with an educational system designed for groups rather than individuals.
Some of her dilemmas felt so familiar to me that I cried as I read them. I am not the only person who has felt that way!
Schools and teachers in general come off poorly in this book, which matches my own experience, unfortunately.
The absolutely best aspect of this book is that at no time does the author label her son. He is a unique individual. That is the most important thing.

[Sally · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like this author's voice. She writes very well, using words in a beautiful way to express herself. I appreciated her honesty: each time she seemed adamant in her opinion about something regarding her son, such as her refusal to turn to medication, she pauses and is willing to consider the other side. As she recounts her struggles with the educational institutions and personnel, she is never bitter or unkind. This really endeared her to me. I admire her devotion to her son and her perseverance in advocating on his behalf. I look forward to reading more books by this author.

[Sharon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book raised a lot of questions about special education and how school districts handle special needs students. The author herself had a unique upbringing, which brought up a lot of questions as I was reading this book. In addition, her relationship with her child and her naive approach to how we prepare children for Kindergarten was also thought provoking. Finally, it was interesting to watch her viewpoints of public education change year to year, as her son went through each grade of school. This book was well written and worth reading.

[Julie Dalle · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an intriguing book. It kept my interest with laughter but the topic of a young boy with special needs was serious. I particularly liked how the author focused on his education, that was of interest to me most as I see students with special needs or some that appear to be different all the time and realize what they may be going through. Raising boys is tough, but I'm thankful mine don't have the mental or physical challenges broached in this book. I found myself thinking how I would react to administrators or school officials if I had to experience what she did, well written.

[Samantha Stein · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was fascinating and heartwrenching. As a teacher, I'm faced with diagnoses ("labels") that doctors, psychologists, counselors and fellow educators assign to students who are difficult to reach and these labels can be crippling and unfortunately, permanent. This book is a mother's journey through the school system with her son and her frustrations with labels and special education. It opened my eyes to the experiences of parents who have children with special needs.

[Joanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Written by the last author I just read, Debra Ginsberg, this book is about raising her son Blaze. Blaze does all kinds of quirky things but hasn't ever been officially diagnosed with anything. In the meantime, Debra is getting the run-around from doctors, psychologists, the schools etc. and just about losing her mind. There is no great ending, in fact I wish I knew what Blaze was up to now, but it was a good read for someone who's been there.

[Tammy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A quick read. I wish she would have written about his last years in school. I'd be interested in learning what he is doing now.

Brought back some unpleasant memories for me. As a Parent Mentor, I see these & other struggles every week. No one has a clue about the world of "special education" until you have a child with a disability & are plunged into it head first. It's a whole different animal.

[Margherita Dolcevita · Rating 5 out of 5]

Penso sia il primo libro che leggo di questo genere e inaspettatamente (lo ammetto) mi è piaciuto moltissimo. E' al tempo stesso forte e delicato, con sprazzi di dolcezza e di sorrisi, l'autrice/mamma è bravissima a non cadere in un facile pietismo e riesce a rendere perfettamente la quotidiana lotta nel crescere un bambino speciale in un mondo forse troppo cieco e ottuso per accoglierlo al meglio.

[Brian · Rating 4 out of 5]

This memoir was a good one, but not a great one. It was definitely a personal book. I had read Blaze's own memoir, which was very interestingly written, so I was curious to read this as well, especially since I had read the author's previous books. It is written in nice language. I would definitely recommend this memoir to someone who is the parent of an autistic child. I definitely learned a few things by reading this

[Louise · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book while cleaning out the garage, and it pulled me in so strongly, that I read it in one sitting. Debra Ginsberg wrote a beautiful account of her bright, creative, yet eccentric child who didn't fit into the standard educational system. Her son Blaze has unique disabilities that made for a tumultuous journey through the school system and a challenge for her to raise, yet her love and devotion to her son shows strongly throughout all situations.

[Kim Gjerde · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. The author discusses frankly the struggles with her son in regards to his schooling. I admire her families support for her and her fierce love and advocacy for her son. The book resonated with me because of both my son who can be challenging and my sister's son who also has presented a similar challenge as Blaze. I only wish we found out how the educational advocate ending up helping her with Blaze's middle school placement!

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

My step grandma in law sent me this book because she knows I am an educator. It is an autobiographical account of a mother's struggle with getting her son with special needs through the public education system. You can really empathize with her and appreciate her son for his talents rather than see him for his deficits.

[Asher · Rating 4 out of 5]

In considering prenatal testing, I felt the need to check out a bunch of memoirs about raising kids with different abilities. Blaze doesn't have an easily identifyable disorder - he seems to be an exaggeration of his extended family's eccentricities. His mother, who raises him as a single parent, has remarkable strength and advocates for him endlessly.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book gives great insight into the troubles with labeling children, how difficult it is to be "outside the norm" and especially the problems "special ed" programs, and the parents and children working inside them, face. I really liked it but it was also sad to see how hard life was for this boy, and how the Outside World made it so. Touching and real.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A touching book about a mom's struggle to find the right education for her special needs son. It is a fast read, and I became completely absorbed by Ginsberg's story. My heart broke as teachers and the system failed Blaze. I rejoiced as he found what he needed and when he thrived. I'm excited to read his book as well.

[Jen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This story is very similar to Claire's with the difference of us not fighting the school system every day, month or year. The book was good but frustrating in a lot of ways. I would recommend for people who are curious as to what families undergo when having children who don't fit in to boxes the medical and education system want to put them in.

[Lauren Lind · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this in college for an "Intro to Parenting" class. It remains one of the most interesting books I've ever read. The main focus of the book is on a boy named Blaze. He has unique "disabilities" - which make him really cool to read about. I recommend this book to everyone.

[Tish · Rating 3 out of 5]

A must read for teachers and parents with a child who just does not always fit. It was an interesting look at how one family strives to nurture a child who is not understood by many of those around him.