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The Power of Body Language
An expert in the field of nonverbal communication helps readers learn how to interpret others' gestures and expressions, understand the nonverbal messages that they are sending to others, and consciously use body language to promote success in one's personal and professional life, with explanations of specific gestures, facial cues, body positions, and body movements.
352 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2007
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 59 reviews
November 19, 2013
Great primer on body language. Some points I found useful:
- When in a social situation where you don't know anyone (like a party where whoever invited you hasn't shown up yet), make friends by approaching groups of three or more where one or more people in the group has their feet pointed away from the group. Groups that have their feet all pointed directly toward each other are deep in conversation and will be annoyed by your intrusion.
- Detect dishonesty by looking for incongruence in body language. For example, someone making a positive/yes statement while subtly shaking their head (a “no” body language message).
- Look people in the eye when conversing, by avoid an intense “stalker stare” by moving your eyes around in the triangle formed by both their eyes and their nose.
- Dilated pupils indicates interest and excitement. This is why poker payers and Chinese jade dealers wear sunglasses, to avoid letting their pupils give away their mental state. Historically, courtesans in Italy used a drug called belladonna (translation: “beautiful woman”) to dilate their pupils and make them seem more excited (and therefore more desirable) to their clients. Although belladonna was made from nightshade, a poisonous plant!
- Tilting your head is a way to indicate interest (and sometimes, submission). The author indicates this is because you're baring your neck, an act of vulnerability.
- “Charisma steps from a strong sense of self, an inherent belief in your own worth.”
- The author recommends not touching your mouth or face during most social interactions. When I read it I thought, “obviously I don't do that,” but afterward noticed I do it a fair bit. So, warning, reading this book might make you self-conscious. :)
- The concept of “preening” — a grooming movement designed to draw attention to some part of your body. For example, a long-haired person tossing their hair, a short-haired person running their fingers through their hair, or someone adjusting their tie. Potentially useful flirtation techniques.
- Where you sit at a table in a meeting communicates something. For example, a leader sitting at the head of the table is a strong indicator of authority, while sitting in the middle of a long table indicates a more collaborative approach.
- “higher-status people are afforded a wider berth of space”; also, “as aour status increases, so do the size and firmness of our territorial boundaries: from cubicles to offices to executive suites... like lions in their wild kingdom, the people with the highest status have vast amounts of territory that they consider their own.”
- The author recommends never verbally interrupting someone during conversation, and suggests some nonverbal cues for getting their attention if they are starting to ramble or it's your turn to talk.
- A good conversationalist works hard to keep the conversation balanced, but errs on the side of more listening than talking.
- “Groom as if you care, but not as if you're obsessed.”
- “There is no bigger compliment than giving someone your full and focused attention.”
- As a way to evaluate quality of a given friendship: “After time with them, do I feel rejuvenated, or do I feel depleted? Energized, or spent?”
- “The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own.”
Like most self-help books, it gets repetitious and could stand to be 2/3rds as long. It also has some annoying tics like frequent references to “Master Communicator” (with the pretentious capitalization).
Also, anyone who subscribes to the notion that gender is fluid may take issue with the author's unqualified statements like “women can read faces better than men.” I recommend mentally inserting the word “typically” in front of sentences like this.
- When in a social situation where you don't know anyone (like a party where whoever invited you hasn't shown up yet), make friends by approaching groups of three or more where one or more people in the group has their feet pointed away from the group. Groups that have their feet all pointed directly toward each other are deep in conversation and will be annoyed by your intrusion.
- Detect dishonesty by looking for incongruence in body language. For example, someone making a positive/yes statement while subtly shaking their head (a “no” body language message).
- Look people in the eye when conversing, by avoid an intense “stalker stare” by moving your eyes around in the triangle formed by both their eyes and their nose.
- Dilated pupils indicates interest and excitement. This is why poker payers and Chinese jade dealers wear sunglasses, to avoid letting their pupils give away their mental state. Historically, courtesans in Italy used a drug called belladonna (translation: “beautiful woman”) to dilate their pupils and make them seem more excited (and therefore more desirable) to their clients. Although belladonna was made from nightshade, a poisonous plant!
- Tilting your head is a way to indicate interest (and sometimes, submission). The author indicates this is because you're baring your neck, an act of vulnerability.
- “Charisma steps from a strong sense of self, an inherent belief in your own worth.”
- The author recommends not touching your mouth or face during most social interactions. When I read it I thought, “obviously I don't do that,” but afterward noticed I do it a fair bit. So, warning, reading this book might make you self-conscious. :)
- The concept of “preening” — a grooming movement designed to draw attention to some part of your body. For example, a long-haired person tossing their hair, a short-haired person running their fingers through their hair, or someone adjusting their tie. Potentially useful flirtation techniques.
- Where you sit at a table in a meeting communicates something. For example, a leader sitting at the head of the table is a strong indicator of authority, while sitting in the middle of a long table indicates a more collaborative approach.
- “higher-status people are afforded a wider berth of space”; also, “as aour status increases, so do the size and firmness of our territorial boundaries: from cubicles to offices to executive suites... like lions in their wild kingdom, the people with the highest status have vast amounts of territory that they consider their own.”
- The author recommends never verbally interrupting someone during conversation, and suggests some nonverbal cues for getting their attention if they are starting to ramble or it's your turn to talk.
- A good conversationalist works hard to keep the conversation balanced, but errs on the side of more listening than talking.
- “Groom as if you care, but not as if you're obsessed.”
- “There is no bigger compliment than giving someone your full and focused attention.”
- As a way to evaluate quality of a given friendship: “After time with them, do I feel rejuvenated, or do I feel depleted? Energized, or spent?”
- “The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own.”
Like most self-help books, it gets repetitious and could stand to be 2/3rds as long. It also has some annoying tics like frequent references to “Master Communicator” (with the pretentious capitalization).
Also, anyone who subscribes to the notion that gender is fluid may take issue with the author's unqualified statements like “women can read faces better than men.” I recommend mentally inserting the word “typically” in front of sentences like this.
August 17, 2012
The Power of Body Language had some useful information, and I might have bought my own copy after having borrowed it from the library, if it weren't for the author's hint of homophobia. Whenever Reiman makes a point about men specifically, it is either in relationship to their interactions with women or she specifies that she is talking about heterosexual male communication. She doesn't specify that the woman to woman communication she describes is heterosexual, so why does she need to do so every time she speaks about men?
I still want to purchase a book about body language to keep as a reference source, but this will not be it.
I still want to purchase a book about body language to keep as a reference source, but this will not be it.
January 21, 2008
Pretty good... some of the body language signals she discusses are pretty obvious, but there's enough good stuff in there to make it worth reading.
September 9, 2023
Actual rating: 1.5
January 23, 2016
This is one of those self help books that actually makes the reader understand certain concepts. The complete book sticks to the theme and gives few wonderful insights. There are things that I would really want to adapt from this book. The author has given detailed description for each concept and has clearly mentioned the steps to achieving it. It's definite and concise. That's what I liked the most about this book.
December 9, 2008
Really interesting! Much of it is geared toward men & women in a dating relationship but there was a lot of valuable information for use in any situation. Since reading this, I've been much better about not backing down when someone gets in my personal space, and also more aware of fidgeting hands/feet etc and making effort to change some of my body language.
June 24, 2008
I'm all about body language. Boy or Girl you could learn some serious tips on how to improve relationships, or read new ones...
just make sure you're balanced... not EVERYONE is the same... some people have some quirky body language :)
just make sure you're balanced... not EVERYONE is the same... some people have some quirky body language :)
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March 15, 2009AWESOME! I loved this book. Fun info to use, just don't take it too seriously!!! :o)
September 25, 2025
I purchased this book because I am writing a novel and I want to include body language when the characters are interacting with each other. It was helpful in that respect. Parts of the book were geared towards job interviews and employee-employer relationships, which were not what I needed but could be useful for people in that situation.
December 12, 2020
Useful for understanding the basics of body language, however its not extensive if you already know a bit about body language. I enjoyed how the author broke it down into sections and the challenge at the end was a good way of teaching and applying the material.
June 7, 2022
I for sure learned some great techniques to read others body language and to watch mine as well. Very interesting read. I liked what it said about human touch and how we are a nation starved of touch and how important it is. Will for sure use some of the things mentioned in this book.
May 20, 2023
It is very educational and informative, has a pretty simple writing style so it isn't very difficult to understand(personally I don't like that but you do you) however I think it lacks a little bit more representation towards the non-heteros lol
August 29, 2017
Wonderful book. I have learned a lot and try to improve the messages that my body sends. I only miss more pictures, but the explanations are easy to understand.
October 4, 2017
Good book about nonverbal communication and cues. Recommend
June 10, 2020
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September 30, 2021
If you're interested in the subconscious mind then you'll enjoy this read. Very fascinating how we are perceived by looks and body language. It took awhile to get through but it was eye opening.
June 27, 2022
A good insight behind body language as well as key indicators etc ...
November 30, 2022
Не ми допадна особенно.
February 18, 2017
Despite Reiman's awkward body language highlighted on the cover of this book, she is a good educator about the vagaries of body positioning. Roughly 3/4 of the book I would consider to be things that the well-socialized person internalized long ago, however, the 1/4 that was new information to me, has proved valuable. For instance, I now know where to sit at a meeting so that my boss subconsciously thinks that I am glad to be there and am a participant in the discussion, whether I simply nod my head and smile or if I actually contribute some information.
September 3, 2017
I had seen Tonya Reiman dissect celebrity and political figures' body language on television before and it looked like a powerful tool to have in one's arsenal. It might not be so critical for me to have this ability in my social life, but now that I'm out in the work force, this is definitely a skill that can come in handy. The author provides numerous techniques and examples of what to look for when studying someone's body language and even provides illustrations and pictures of real people exhibiting the movement in question. There is a good flow to how the information is presented to the reader so that you can slowly master smaller body language expressions and then work up to bigger expressions or what multiple expressions can mean.
Reiman gives us a lot of information which can be hard to digest. I would have preferred to come away from the book with a very firm understanding of the subject. Instead I might be able to remember a couple of her tips at best. This is a book you'd need to keep for reference to refresh your memory for various life events like job interviews. I would have liked to feel a little bit more like a master interpreter after at least one go through the book.
I think this book is definitely worth picking up since it has a ton of information on body language interpretation. However, don't expect to become an expert just by reading the book. It's a good preview into the world of body language and what it can do for you, but if you really want to become a body language master, you'll need to put more time and effort into your pursuits then just reading this book.
Reiman gives us a lot of information which can be hard to digest. I would have preferred to come away from the book with a very firm understanding of the subject. Instead I might be able to remember a couple of her tips at best. This is a book you'd need to keep for reference to refresh your memory for various life events like job interviews. I would have liked to feel a little bit more like a master interpreter after at least one go through the book.
I think this book is definitely worth picking up since it has a ton of information on body language interpretation. However, don't expect to become an expert just by reading the book. It's a good preview into the world of body language and what it can do for you, but if you really want to become a body language master, you'll need to put more time and effort into your pursuits then just reading this book.
February 24, 2016
On the cover of this book, Ms. Reiman sits awkwardly on what appears to be a director's chair. She is wearing dress slacks and an untucked business shirt with a sweater that seems to be slightly too small over it. Her smile seems forced (but that may be because of photo editing on her face). From this, I get the impression that she showed up for the photo shoot in a business suit and someone told her she looked to formal or too stuffy. That person likely took her jacket and loaned her the sweater, because it would look more casual and inviting. I think the result is it took Ms. Reiman out of her comfort zone and made the shoot very uncomfortable for her. Think I'm wrong? Read the book and decide for yourself.
I have read other books on body language in the past. All of them have been basically about reading people to determine if they are lying to you or if they like you. This one is different (I'd say better). Ms. Reiman has written a very good book about how you can use your body language to become a better, more confident communicator. The book is very detailed, but she breaks it down in a way that makes it easier to comprehend, one concept at a time. In the end, she gives her advice on how to become a master communicator.
I believe this is a very good book for someone who is in frequent contact with others on a professional level or for someone who wants advice on how to act in social settings. And, there is also a chapter on how to tell if someone likes you or is lying to you, so there's that!
I have read other books on body language in the past. All of them have been basically about reading people to determine if they are lying to you or if they like you. This one is different (I'd say better). Ms. Reiman has written a very good book about how you can use your body language to become a better, more confident communicator. The book is very detailed, but she breaks it down in a way that makes it easier to comprehend, one concept at a time. In the end, she gives her advice on how to become a master communicator.
I believe this is a very good book for someone who is in frequent contact with others on a professional level or for someone who wants advice on how to act in social settings. And, there is also a chapter on how to tell if someone likes you or is lying to you, so there's that!
August 3, 2013
After reading this book, I have a wider awareness of how to read others signals and how to make my own body language work for me. A first impression is formed in seconds and this book breaks down many of the elements that influence whether you will have a good or bad result. Tonya Reiman shares practical tips and techniques such as norming someone to determine if they are lying or being deceitful or how to know if that guy is really into you. She also outlines her "Reiman Rapport Method" which is a system for creating a strong connections with someone which helps build strong relationships. The author shares her experiences as a body language expert and how she has counselled others to make a significant difference in their lives. Maybe she can make a difference in yours.
February 4, 2021
Awesome. A guide to good relations with people and the world. Tonya Reiman illuminates what until now has been a gray area in interpersonal communication: harnessing the power of your nonverbal cues to get what you want out of every aspect of life, from professional encounters to personal relationships.
The Power of Body Language is your practical, personal playbook for getting what you desire from others-and zoning in on what others are saying to you without words.
Once you know the hidden meaning behind specific gestures, facial cues, stances, and body movements, you will possess a sixth sense that can be a life-changing, career-saving, trouble-shooting skill you will never leave home without! Learn how to:
The Power of Body Language is your practical, personal playbook for getting what you desire from others-and zoning in on what others are saying to you without words.
Once you know the hidden meaning behind specific gestures, facial cues, stances, and body movements, you will possess a sixth sense that can be a life-changing, career-saving, trouble-shooting skill you will never leave home without! Learn how to:
October 22, 2014
This is the best general-purpose book on body language that I've found.
When I got obsessively into this topic a few years ago, I consumed a large number of books ranging from the trivial and almost silly to dry, academic work. This book is appropriate to general audiences, goes into a lot of detail even citing much of the more academic work I read, offers practical advice and does it all in a very practical way. I feel sure nearly everyone can benefit from this, improving their own communication and better understanding the non-verbal aspects of the communication of those around them.
2014: This bears repeating occasionally. I retain more each time.
When I got obsessively into this topic a few years ago, I consumed a large number of books ranging from the trivial and almost silly to dry, academic work. This book is appropriate to general audiences, goes into a lot of detail even citing much of the more academic work I read, offers practical advice and does it all in a very practical way. I feel sure nearly everyone can benefit from this, improving their own communication and better understanding the non-verbal aspects of the communication of those around them.
2014: This bears repeating occasionally. I retain more each time.
March 5, 2012
This book is about 30 percent useful/practical kind of information and the rest is for those obsessed with perfecting their every twitch and move or trying to read everyone else's which I found to be quite a headache and not so realistic in many ways. Somebody scratching their nose could mean several different things-they're anxious, depressed, sexually aroused (I'm actually making those up and not directly quoting the book but hopefully you get the idea)..After all what if they really just have an itch?
March 23, 2013
Tonya Reiman gives an in depth comprehensive guide to help us with our non verbal communication. She provides great supporting examples of body language through photographs and detailed explanations of whats going on in our brains as well as how we are affected by the 7 universal emotions. She talks about body cues, micro expressions, vocal cues and even theories on proxemics (personal space). An easy and interesting read. I would have liked to see it come from a more forensic perspective as opposed to a self help orientated one. Still a valuable resource to have.
October 20, 2008
I didn't feel like I was learning new information. The author is too detailed on what she was explaining. She defined every single movement a person could make but didn't explain very well how it would help someone in knowing that. There were some interesting parts but it is more of a reference book than a self-help book.
August 8, 2011
An excellent analysis of how people use body language (consciously and unconsciously) to transmit their true thoughts and feelings. The author helps the reader to understand what others are saying through their body language and how a person can script his/her own body language (without being deceptive) to convey a more positive impression. Interesting reading.
May 18, 2015
This book goes through many different ways we communicate non verbally as human beings. From eye movements, to body posture and gestures, tonality verbal speed and pitch. It is written in language that is easy to follow and flows nicely. This book is very insightful for anyone looking to become a great communicator.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 59 reviews