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Standard Hero Behavior

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Mason Quayle is a bard living in a town whose heroes have long since fled. No heroes = no adventurous tales and nothing for a bard to write about. So when the opportunity arises for Mason to go on a real-life quest--a chance to be a hero himself--he takes it. Following in the footsteps of his long-vanished hero father, Mason and his best friend, Cowel, set out on a journey full of misadventure and run-ins with an unusual cast of characters, among them, a retired hero-cum-shoe-salesman, a somnambulist sword fighter, a swarm of unfriendly (and deadly) pixies, a wholesome young witch, and a werewolf hit man. They also stumble upon the answers to the questions that have haunted Mason for the past 10 years: Where is his father? Why didn't he return to his family? Was he really a hero?

273 pages, Hardcover

First published November 19, 2007

4 people are currently reading
275 people want to read

About the author

John David Anderson

21 books620 followers
Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

John David Anderson once hit himself so hard on a dare by his sister that he literally knocked himself out of a chair and nearly blacked out. He has since translated this passion and singularity of purpose to the related arts of novel writing and pizza eating. The author of STANDARD HERO BEHAVIOR, SIDEKICKED, MINION, THE DUNGEONEERS and the soon-to-land MS. BIXBY's LAST DAY, Anderson is a firm believer in wearing the same pair of jeans for three days in a row (four in the winter) and the power of writing to solve 73% of the world's problems. He lives with his beautiful wife and twins in Indianapolis, Indiana.

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5 stars
49 (21%)
4 stars
83 (37%)
3 stars
70 (31%)
2 stars
21 (9%)
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1 (<1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 53 reviews
Profile Image for Jack.
36 reviews
February 14, 2012
My mom picked this one out for me. Being the great child I am, and not wanting to make her feel bad, I decided to give it a shot, despite worried by the seemingly lackluster story and the feeling that it was a children's book based on the cover. However, I was pleasantly surprised at how much better than I expected it was.
For one thing, it's not a children's book, childish as it may seem. Several bits of language and sexual references don't exactly go well with children. However, it did seem to be written in an easily understood way, not that that's a bad thing.
Also, the story is surprisingly grabbing. I actually wanted to know what happened next. There were also a few stabs at humor that actually worked. All of these combined to make a book that, although it is not the best, is still a pretty ok read.
Final rating: 3

P.S. Sorry if this I a bit incoherent; I'm tired. At least I had the sense to leave a note explaining, right?
1,436 reviews25 followers
November 1, 2014
Mason and Cowel are two teenagers in a town that has long passed its glory days. Darlington used to be a town of heros; Mason's own father was one of them. But Dirk Darlinger has convinced the town he's the only hero anyone needs, and one by one the old heros have gone, never to return. When Mason learns the town is in danger of being overrun by orcs, trolls, goblins, and other nasty critters, he and Cowel leave to find some real heros to save everyone.

Like the title implies, much of Standard Hero Behavior is a satire on various fantasy clichés as well as some aspects of modern life. Dirk Darlinger, for example, uses corporate sponsorship on various pieces of armor. A horse salesman talks about upgrading to the newest model and year-end clearance events. Mason has a book that teaches him about Standard Hero Behavior (SHB), but he also gets into situations that mock typical heroic adventures, such as a fight in a bar with a bullying man who wears a dress.

Unfortunately, the humor did not come off particularly well. The opening scene with the orcs is reminiscent of The Godfather, complete with goons named Tino and Vincent ("Vinnie"). Much of it seemed far too over the top; the book does a lot better near the end, when more of the jokes are due to character and not circumstance. The modern references were haphazard and felt thrown in rather than something growing out of the world.

Towards the end the book does improve a great deal. When the plot stops trying to force a laugh every other page, it gets a lot more interesting. Mason finds both his father and himself, and even though there's a happy ending, not all of the loose ends tie up.

Overall I think this would have been a lot funnier if, instead of being a story about Mason and Cowel, John David Anderson had written Quayle's Guide to Adventures for the Unadventurous instead. The excerpts Mason and Cowel read from it reminded me of Diana Wynne Jones' Tough Guide to Fantasyland. As it is, I give this book a rating of Neutral.
Profile Image for Miss Clark.
2,872 reviews222 followers
September 24, 2008
Basically, Mason Quayle and his best (and only friend, the latter quality perhaps accountable for the former), who are afar from being hero material, choose to set off on a quest to find three or four heroes, (even though half a dozen is preferable and if they could wrangle up ten, that would be superb)to save their town from imminent invasion by a horde of orcs, trolls and ogres. Along the way, they meet all sorts of quirky characters and realize that it is their own choices that determine who they'll be, etc. The usual self realization takes place, as does the saving of their little town.

It plays off all of the classic cliches of the magical quest genre, with quite a bit of humour throughout. My favorite scenes were with "Madame" Perogi, the fortune-teller, Fira and her mother, and when Mason realized that Dalinger is a fraud. Sadly, there was so much more that could have been done with the story, but wasn't and that was quite sad. The characters always remained mere caricatures for me, never becoming fully formed individuals that I could remotely care about and so this is truly more of a caricature of a story. And that is fine, but don't expect anything more out of it. It also was a lot more crude than I had expected, which also detracted from the story. I got the sense that the vulgarity was put there as more "humour," but it certainly wasn't. It fell short of its potential, which is why this one won't be making any of my favorites lists.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for John.
1,851 reviews58 followers
August 29, 2007
Two young lunks venture out on a search for Heroes to save their town from Orc thugs. It seems to me that more and more fantasies are taking longer and longer to pick up the pace, and this one's no exception--but parts are gut-bustingly funny (one of the lads is a would-be bard who can and does spin out lame verse on demand, and one of the Heroes who shows up is narcoleptic, but a fearsome swordsman in his sleep), and the last third or so is pretty strong. Some of the Heroes are Sheroes. There's a lot of talk about a dragon, but it never puts in an appearance.
Profile Image for Jamie.
134 reviews2 followers
October 3, 2008
In his first novel (YA), Anderson creates an entertaining parody of the fantasy genre, where heroes are profiteers, faithful steeds are hard to come by, and reputations depend on good marketing. Involves a sleeping swordsman, a teenage witch trying to perfect her cackle, and loads of orcs and pixies. Underlying the dry humor is a well-orchestrated tale of two teenagers trying to figure out what to do with their lives, which currently includes barding and plume selling.
Profile Image for Debra.
2,074 reviews11 followers
September 18, 2015
I am sorry to put this in my gave-up-on catagory. The 40 page chapters and less than compelling story did me in. I read juvenile books for entertainment and to assess them for the younger patrons at the library where I work. I am sorry to say that I do not believe that my young friends would have felt any different.
35 reviews
October 30, 2011
Well, the author did try very hard, and I feel for him. This tried to be a parody of the fantasy genre, but fell quite short.
Profile Image for Dale.
1,936 reviews67 followers
May 29, 2017
Just didn't live up to its potential

Indianapolis native John David Anderson's Standard Hero Behavior is a tongue-in-cheek look at the Lord of the Rings type fantasy world, sort of like The Princess Bride.

Mason Quayle is a young, under-employed bard (he write epic songs about heroes and the like) and his best friend Cowel sells epic plumes for the hats of heroes (think Three Musketeer hats). The problem is that they live in a town that used to be full of heroes but the new duke of their city has the monsters under control. It used to take dozens of heroes, now it is handled by one man. Mason can't figure out how he does it all by himself because his father used to be the most-requested bard for all of those heroes and he's very familiar with the old songs and stories.

But, that was a long time ago. His father is ...

Read more at: http://dwdsreviews.blogspot.com/2017/...
Profile Image for Cindy Mitchell *Kiss the Book*.
6,002 reviews220 followers
December 26, 2017
Anderson, John David Standard Hero Behavior, 273 p. Clarion, 2007.

Mason has discovered that the only hero left in his town has actually been bribing the monsters to stay away. Now the monsters want more money than anyone has and it is up to Mason and his friend Cowel to find a hero to save the day. With the help of a book Mason's father wrote, the two set off and encounter a series of incredible characters. Awfully cute and a load of fun to read.

EL, MS - ADVISABLE
Profile Image for Dexter Karrels.
2 reviews
September 3, 2025
John David Anderson eloquently combines many rich features from the fantasy genre and brilliantly combines them with his own ideas and twists. Every page leaves you stirring and wanting more in this hilarious, tragic, and straight up marvelous story that, while set in a distant world, we can all relate to and enjoy. One can only hope a sequel is written so we can see the further adventures of Mason and his friends.
Profile Image for Cheryl.
12.6k reviews479 followers
January 19, 2018
Both funny and thoughtful, but with plenty of bloodshed, vulgar language, and questions of fathers who may or may not be good role models (and with mothers who are definitely not). Probably most appealing to boys age 12-14 who dislike anything 'sissy' but girls will like it too. Probably for kids a little older than his more famous Mrs. Bixby.
Profile Image for Sean Harding.
5,694 reviews33 followers
January 7, 2020
Intriguing title.
Intriguing premise.
Boring execution.
Fatally dull and a struggle to maintain the rage so to speak and finish, I did but alas she did not inspire me much at all.
Profile Image for Alyssa Skinner.
345 reviews
July 24, 2022
Had more. . . weirdness? Than I remembered from the first time I read it. But I love that this book makes you rethink what makes a person a hero.
Profile Image for Jennifer Wardrip.
Author 5 books516 followers
November 4, 2012
Reviewed by Natalie Tsang for TeensReadToo.com

STANDARD HERO BEHAVIOR by John David Anderson is the funniest and most enjoyable quest story I've read in awhile. I've always been under the impression that there is something inherently serious about quest stories, but here heroics and humor are combined in a combination as smooth and delicious as cookies and milk.

This is not to say the stakes aren't high. Mason Quayle, a teenage bard, and his best friend, Cowel, have three days to find some heroes to save their village from an onslaught of monsters. On the way, they are attacked by... a cross-dressing thug, militant pixies, and a pack of terrifying if ridiculous animals called "whatisits."

But to start at the beginning, Mason Quayle is a bard who has nothing to commemorate. His town, Highsmith, recently renamed Darlington, was once constantly in danger from orcs and goblins and something of a hero resort, but business has since dried up in the relative peace. So when the opportunity for adventure arises, Mason decides to take it. Besides Cowel, Mason has a trusty steed named Steed and an unfinished book by his long vanished father titled Quayle's Guide to Adventures for the Unadventurous.

The going isn't easy and they also stumble upon the answers to questions that Mason has been asking for the last ten years: Where is his father? What was he like? Why didn't he return home? John David Anderson has written a wonderful book. It's one of those rare fantasies that is more about people than plot. It also manages to be both funny and honest. Not honest, in the way of honesty meaning reality, but honest meaning telling this fictional world as it is, unflinchingly.

I would recommend this book to anyone who is having a bad day. Mason and Cowel's three days are undoubtedly worse. If that fact doesn't make you smile, their misadventures will.
Profile Image for Alana Abbott.
Author 18 books48 followers
June 9, 2013
What I wrote on my blog back in 2008:

To celebrate finishing [a short story], I gave myself the morning off and finished a book I've been reading: Standard Hero Behavior by John David Anderson. If you haven't pulled this off your library or bookstore shelf yet, don't pass go, don't collect $200, just head straight to the library or bookstore and pull it off. This is Anderson's first novel, and it's entirely satisfying--it features fifteen-year-old Mason Quayle, a struggling bard in a town where all the heroes have left, as he blunders into his first quest: a mission to bring the heroes back. One of the town's missing heroes is his own father, and the quest becomes as much about discovering who his father was as it does saving the town from impending invasion. The story is the traditional hero's quest spun on its head, and it's delightfully satisfying. You all know I've read several brilliant books in the past year: this one's pretty high on that list. It's been marketed as a children's book rather than YA (possibly because it's not very edgy), so get over to your junior fiction section and check it out. (And if anyone is on a list serv somewhere with John David Anderson and could pass on my admiration, I'd very much appreciate it! I've gotten too used to being able to compliment the authors I admire in their blog comments, I think. *g*)
Profile Image for Molly.
1,468 reviews14 followers
July 22, 2008
Mason Quayle, malcontented Bard, is the only son of Diedra and Edmond Quayle. His father left some years back, off on another high stakes adventure. After all, Edmond was one of the most famous of all Heroes that the town of Highsmith ever saw, and when the heroes needed an adventure (read: money) Edmond when where to find them.

Now, its Mason's turn as the town's last remaining protector, Duke Darlinger, has been uncovered as a fraud, and a marauding party of Orcs is on the way to pillage the town. Mason sets off, unwittingly in his father's footsteps, to round up a few good men (and women) to save the day.

Local author, Anderson, (Indianapolis), has crafted a witty and fun to read satire, which spoofs fantasy novels in all the right ways. I gave it a three star because I think it suffers something of an identity crises. It seems to straddle the line between children's and YA, and somehow comes out as a children's novel with a teen protagonist and a few cuss words to please the parents. Overall, though I enjoyed this read and will recommend it.

72 reviews2 followers
May 26, 2009
This is a fun fantasy read. Mason is a bard and Cowel is a plume salesman ... and they're both pretty much losers. When Mason accidentally discovers that the town hero (the only thing standing between destruction and the town) is an even bigger loser with a secret, what's he to do? He and Cowel set out to find some real heroes to save the town, of course. If it's not a sleep-walking swordsman or a swallowed pixie (with a very tiny, pointy sword), then it's a 300-lb. bully in a flowered dress or a werewolf with a mission. Not all of the plotlines are fully developed, but the friendship between Mason and Cowel is, and I do believe there will be more to come in this story. A good book to read for summer.
Author 11 books11 followers
November 2, 2015
I really liked this book. It got off to a slow start in the first few pages, but after that it really got going. What I liked best about it was that, in a way, it was different than anything that I've read in the genre. The hero was not an anti-hero, nor was he someone who picked up a sword and despite a complete lack of experience manages to forge his way in the world. In this book, the characters have limits, but work around them. There are heroes, and they ARE heroes, not tarnished ones that don't live up to their reputation. They too may have limits, but they're decent people.

Some of the story twists are predictable, but most of them were a nice surprise. Good to read something different in a genre that I've read a lot of!
Profile Image for Sarah.
913 reviews5 followers
January 20, 2016
Mason is a frustrated bard who dreams of chronicling epic deeds of daring. Unfortunately, all the local heroes, including Mason’s father, left ten years ago when the duke declared he would be taking over their duties. His protection comes to an abrupt end when the coffers run dry and it falls to Mason and his friend Cowel to locate as many heroes as they can before a horde of orcs attacks. Half parody, half discourse on heroism. The subversion of fantasy tropes is generally entertaining, but some of the barbs may go over the heads of the intended audience, and the action is incredibly slow.
Profile Image for Cindy.
2,736 reviews
June 30, 2008
Mason and his friend Cowel set off on a quest to find a few good men - or women - to come and save their town from the goblins. Along the way, Mason tries to figure out what really happened to his father and what it means to be a hero.

Overall, I enjoyed this one. Mason is a very likeable character and there are some really funny parts. I liked the female characters, the witch and the warrior. But there were occasional swearwords that popped up and kind of caught me off guard. Other than that, I would say it's a great book to read aloud.
Profile Image for Kelly.
193 reviews12 followers
June 16, 2009
Mason and his friend Cowel go upon a quest to save their town, Darlington. This humorous heroes tale was quite entertaining; sometimes the humor reminded me a bit of The Princess Bride and a little bit Monty Python. However, the story isn't all funny as Mason struggles to find the truth surrounding his father's disappearance when his was very young. I would like to read more from this author and more stories set in this magical world. I almost didn't want the tale to end.
Profile Image for Ruth.
80 reviews
June 7, 2012
A wonderful debut novel about adventuring and expectations. This book offered up a couple of surprises about the main character, Mason Quayle, and his father, which I felt added more depth than if it had turned out as I thought it would. I thought Mason was just going to follow in his fathers footsteps and profession, and it turned out that he did, just not in the way I thought he would. This book was a very fun and enjoyable read.
Profile Image for Valissa.
1,522 reviews21 followers
January 2, 2015
There are so many good things I want to say about this, but I don't really want to give away more than is already in the description.

A brief story, filled with the cliches of fairy tales. A heart-wrenching memorial to familial relationships, the distance between people due to fear, inelegance, and lack of knowledge. A hilarious send-up of every adventure tale I've ever read.

Definitely in my top ten of 2014.
Profile Image for Cathy.
303 reviews
May 8, 2009
an odd book... starts off a bit too slow, plods through the set up, THEN takes off. Not sure boys would stick with it. But a true hero tale- not the cocky swashbuckling kind the blurb hints at, but the do-the right-thing becuase its the right thing, no matter how scared kind. You know, the kind us regular people can be. A few pages of editing would've really helped this one.
591 reviews197 followers
March 24, 2011
I know it's supposed to be YA but I think that aside from some coarse language it's appropriate for younger kids. Nothing risque apart from a cross-dressing ogre and a line about sucking venom out of your own butt (in a Cosmo-type quiz, "Is your Hero a Stud or a Dud?")

Very funny, reminds me of Munchkins (it's a game).
Profile Image for Ashley.
289 reviews
Read
June 18, 2014
**SPOILER ALERT** I really was not a huge fan of the ending, the book itself was okay, but I mean, come on. Their journey seemed waaaay longer than just 4-5 days. And it kinda had some random information just floating though the book. I'm glad that the town was saved, but this was not one of my favorite reads.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Brock Stonebraker.
8 reviews
February 23, 2015
this book would be good to people that like hero book but are funny too. its also in mid evil times when there wasn't any technology. if you like fantasy i would recommend it to you. the only thing i didn't like about the book was that the book wasn't spelled like the talk in the mid evil times. i think it would have made it better to read.
Profile Image for Cecilia Rodriguez.
4,340 reviews54 followers
October 17, 2016
When Mason's small town is threatened by an emanate Orc invasion, he and his friend, Cowel go on a quest seeking out heroes to save the town.
The tone of the story is satirically humorous, and at times becomes introspective.

Another series which is similar is Pierce Anthony's: Myth Adventures.
Profile Image for Cara.
2,451 reviews41 followers
April 24, 2008
This book was pretty good. Two young men set out on a quest to save their town from impending doom. Along the way they meet some interesting people that help them. The plot wasn't quite in depth enough. Some parts of the story felt rushed, but all in all I enjoyed it.
Profile Image for Ryann.
33 reviews
July 20, 2009
This was fun to read out loud to my husband. The story seems light-hearted at the beginning, but toward the end it digs deep at what it means to be a hero and to take responsibility for one's actions.
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