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Heroics for Beginners
Prince Kevin Timberline must retrieve Ancient Artifact Model Seven from the clutches of the evil Lord Voltmeter--He Who Must Be Named--before said evil Lord unleashes his Diabolical Plan. Luckily, Kevin wields a secret weapon that will cause the forces of Darkness to tremble: The Handbook of Practical Heroics.
256 pages, ebook
First published January 1, 2004
16 people are currently reading
929 people want to read
About the author
John Moore
6 books100 followersJohn Moore is an engineer who lives and works in Houston, TX. His stories have appeared in Realms of Fantasy, Tomorrow, New Destinies, Aboriginal SF, Writers of the Future, Marion Zimmer Bradley's Fantasy Magazine, and other magazines and anthologies. He is the author of six novels in the fantasy and science fiction genre, with the newest,
The Lightning Horse
, just released from YD Press.
In 2017 he will be at the Nebula Awards Conference in Pittsburgh, the World Fantasy Convention in San Antonio, Armadillocon in Austin, Texas, and Comicpalooza in Houston, Texas.
In 2017 he will be at the Nebula Awards Conference in Pittsburgh, the World Fantasy Convention in San Antonio, Armadillocon in Austin, Texas, and Comicpalooza in Houston, Texas.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 101 reviews
September 2, 2015
Prince Kevin Timberline, of Rassendas, is one of four Princes' who are vying for the hand of the beautiful Princess Rebecca, of Deserae. Before the King and counsellors of Deserae can make any final judgement on the worthiness of the suitors word arrives that the evil Overlord, Lord Voltmeter, has stolen the magical Ancient Artifact Number 7 and plans to use it to power his Diabolical Device. The Princes' are tasked with stopping Lord Voltmeter and returning Ancient Artifact Number 7. The man who does so will be the one who saves the Kingdom and marries the Princess! Military genius and seasoned soldier Prince Logan is put in charge of the army. Noted diplomat Prince Kevin is aghast to be assigned as the armies supply officer. He decides to take matters into his own hand and sets off to break into Voltmeter's Fortress of Doom to steal the artifact back on his own. A task he feels up to thanks to being armed with Robert Taylor's helpful Handbook of Practical Heroics. He soon finds himself landed with a comic sidekick in the form of the "Ice Princess" Rebecca. She fancies grabbing the Artifact herself and choosing her own husband!
This is as light and fun a read as it sounds. It is a parody of Sword and Sorcery fantasy novels, fairytales, and superhero stories. There is just enough depth to the characters to make them interesting and likeable despite the clichés. The same goes for the story. It has a comfortably familiar feel and is very light in tone but still managed to hold my attention from start to finish. The book was pretty hilarious and packed full of over the top humour. We had everything from heroic quests to soothsayers and even an Evil Assistant!
I'm not always a fan of comic fantasy so I was quite delighted that the mix of story, humour, and ridiculousness was the right blend for me. It is worth noting that despite the light feel of the story John Moore indulged in a few fantasies of his own and as a result this almost verged on being a soft core bodice ripper at times! I say almost as all the sexual humour and lingering gazes between the characters was, mostly, pretty tame.
This was a light and fun read and I'll definitely try a few more of John Moore's fantasy parody books.
Rating: 3.5 stars.
Audio Note: I'm sure that some of the humour might have felt a bit flat if I was actually reading this book, but that was not the case with the audio version as Joe Delafield totally got the ridiculous tone of the story and his delivery of the humour and character voices was perfect. Fantastic performance!
This is as light and fun a read as it sounds. It is a parody of Sword and Sorcery fantasy novels, fairytales, and superhero stories. There is just enough depth to the characters to make them interesting and likeable despite the clichés. The same goes for the story. It has a comfortably familiar feel and is very light in tone but still managed to hold my attention from start to finish. The book was pretty hilarious and packed full of over the top humour. We had everything from heroic quests to soothsayers and even an Evil Assistant!
I'm not always a fan of comic fantasy so I was quite delighted that the mix of story, humour, and ridiculousness was the right blend for me. It is worth noting that despite the light feel of the story John Moore indulged in a few fantasies of his own and as a result this almost verged on being a soft core bodice ripper at times! I say almost as all the sexual humour and lingering gazes between the characters was, mostly, pretty tame.
This was a light and fun read and I'll definitely try a few more of John Moore's fantasy parody books.
Rating: 3.5 stars.
Audio Note: I'm sure that some of the humour might have felt a bit flat if I was actually reading this book, but that was not the case with the audio version as Joe Delafield totally got the ridiculous tone of the story and his delivery of the humour and character voices was perfect. Fantastic performance!
November 16, 2011
As advertised, Heroics for Beginners pokes fun at the fantasy genre, and it does so fairly well. The humor sometimes feels contrived, but most of the time it carries the story along and you're chuckling with or at the characters.
But for every two laughs, you'll groan. I can't decide if John Moore is taking this parody thing way too seriously or if the parody angle was just a cover-up for his true agenda: bodice-ripping and softcore porn. These scenes never get explicit, and I can understand why they're there in the first place (this stuff happens in some fantasy), but there are far too many of them and they last much too long. I can see every teen or worse, preteen girl squealing over her love of "fantasy" while closely reading every word, and as far as I'm concerned, that makes Heroics for Beginners no better than Twilight.
Equally horrible is Moore's stereotyping of men and women, and I don't mean hot barbarian swordsman chick and dashing soldier/prince or lord. That's appropriate, given this is an exaggeration of fantasy devices. I mean lines like, "It's okay for women to deceive men because it's good for them," coming from female characters, and every male character tripping over themselves and their fidelity ("Technically we're not engaged yet") no matter how in love they claim to be. Because the sexual temptation is just too much, and it can't be helped when they turn into drooling, babbling idiots. If you live in the real world and aren't a bitter person, then you know these respective depictions of women and men are not accurate or descriptive of every woman and man. I know Moore is just trying to point out how silly fantasy can be, but it doesn't feel that way. For as much as he breaks cliches, he relies on them. The ending, for instance, was so sickeningly sweet and fairy tale that I rushed through it. I do not like to rush through the last page of any book, considering it's the last page and is meant to be savored and thought about for at least a good five minutes afterward. Of any author, only Moore has made me rush through a last page.
Heroics for Beginners isn't all bad. It's actually pretty clever with the way it exposes fantasy tropes and so on. But if it didn't have so much humor, it wouldn't be readable. Thank God this book was so short.
But for every two laughs, you'll groan. I can't decide if John Moore is taking this parody thing way too seriously or if the parody angle was just a cover-up for his true agenda: bodice-ripping and softcore porn. These scenes never get explicit, and I can understand why they're there in the first place (this stuff happens in some fantasy), but there are far too many of them and they last much too long. I can see every teen or worse, preteen girl squealing over her love of "fantasy" while closely reading every word, and as far as I'm concerned, that makes Heroics for Beginners no better than Twilight.
Equally horrible is Moore's stereotyping of men and women, and I don't mean hot barbarian swordsman chick and dashing soldier/prince or lord. That's appropriate, given this is an exaggeration of fantasy devices. I mean lines like, "It's okay for women to deceive men because it's good for them," coming from female characters, and every male character tripping over themselves and their fidelity ("Technically we're not engaged yet") no matter how in love they claim to be. Because the sexual temptation is just too much, and it can't be helped when they turn into drooling, babbling idiots. If you live in the real world and aren't a bitter person, then you know these respective depictions of women and men are not accurate or descriptive of every woman and man. I know Moore is just trying to point out how silly fantasy can be, but it doesn't feel that way. For as much as he breaks cliches, he relies on them. The ending, for instance, was so sickeningly sweet and fairy tale that I rushed through it. I do not like to rush through the last page of any book, considering it's the last page and is meant to be savored and thought about for at least a good five minutes afterward. Of any author, only Moore has made me rush through a last page.
Heroics for Beginners isn't all bad. It's actually pretty clever with the way it exposes fantasy tropes and so on. But if it didn't have so much humor, it wouldn't be readable. Thank God this book was so short.
November 21, 2025
Parts of it are a little dated now, but as a satire / parody / idk-what-you'd-call-it-but-it's-funny, it's still one of my wife's all time favorites and it was a fun book to read out loud to her!
Though perhaps :
"Addendum : When planning out your assault on the Evil Overlord, do not write a handbook of practical heroics on how to do so; the Evil Overlord is also likely to have read it and will adapt accordingly. Instead, consider acting with random chaos to see what might work (experts call this the 'Spaghetti Against The Wall' trick). The Evil Overlord will never expect you to swat them with a dead fish." ~ Robert Taylor, Handbook for Practical Heroics
Though perhaps :
"Addendum : When planning out your assault on the Evil Overlord, do not write a handbook of practical heroics on how to do so; the Evil Overlord is also likely to have read it and will adapt accordingly. Instead, consider acting with random chaos to see what might work (experts call this the 'Spaghetti Against The Wall' trick). The Evil Overlord will never expect you to swat them with a dead fish." ~ Robert Taylor, Handbook for Practical Heroics
October 25, 2014
I picked this up at a library book sale a while back. I had never heard of John Moore, but the description on the back seemed fun so I gave it a chance. It was a very humorous approach to fantasy-adventure novels as it pokes fun at many of the situational and character cliches you'd be likely to see in a more serious novel. Lord Voltmeter "he who must be named" an obvious reference to Voldemort embodies the stereotypical bad guy qualities, down to the maniacal laugh (which is required of all evil overlords as we all know). Prince Kevin was the underdog hero and always found himself in hard situations. All of the characters were likable and the story flowed at a good pace. It was a nice quick read and a change of pace after having read a string of more serious books prior.
October 20, 2009
Heroics for Beginners had to be funny. It wasn't.
All of this book is based on a quite rigid kind of humour. Of course, there were really good moments (I, as a classical philologist had a nice surprise in one of these), but the most part of book wasn't laughable. I think the author wanted to mix typical elements of fantasy books. You know- princess, ancient, evil artefact, Diabolical Plan... All of these were here, but jokes weren't so good. Just putting a lot of weird and schematic elements doesn't guarantee a success.
I hoped that all this The Handbook of Practical Heroics will be the most amusing part. It wasn't. This book appeared rarely and when it appeared, it didn't even try to be funny.
The idea is quite good, but that's all.
All of this book is based on a quite rigid kind of humour. Of course, there were really good moments (I, as a classical philologist had a nice surprise in one of these), but the most part of book wasn't laughable. I think the author wanted to mix typical elements of fantasy books. You know- princess, ancient, evil artefact, Diabolical Plan... All of these were here, but jokes weren't so good. Just putting a lot of weird and schematic elements doesn't guarantee a success.
I hoped that all this The Handbook of Practical Heroics will be the most amusing part. It wasn't. This book appeared rarely and when it appeared, it didn't even try to be funny.
The idea is quite good, but that's all.
January 7, 2015
This book tries so, so hard to be funny. Unfortunately, it fails. This is probably because the author is unable to detect the fine difference between funny[return]and silly. The difference is hard to explain. The problem this book has is that all the jokes it tries to make are old and overused. Everyone has seen[return]how silly the things the author pokes fun at are, and has already laughed about them. Now they're just silly; all the fun has been removed by other and[return]better authors.
July 20, 2022
Sometimes a book chooses you. As soon as I haphazardly came across this book in a local shop, I kinda chuckled at the fake stick on the front cover. It reads:
“Slay dragons, rescue damsels, and defeat evil… in six easy steps or your money back!”
I had never heard of John Moore but this looked like it was going to be some kind of satirical trope-flipping take on the old ‘hero’s journey’ fantasy story. And yes, that’s exactly what it is. (Much like Kevin Hearne/Delilah Dawson’s ‘Kill The Farmboy’ series.) And from what I found this is John Moore’s wheelhouse as he has a number of other releases such as ‘The Unhandsome Prince’ and ‘A Fate Worse Than Dragons’.
A few things came to mind while reading this. I immediately thought of ‘Space Balls, but a Fantasy’ and of course ‘The Princess Bride’. The story opens up as we follow Thunk the Barbarian attempting to penetrate the Fortress of Doom in order to obtain the Ancient Artifact (that powers the Diabolical Device) from the Evil Lord Voltmeter (the one who must be named). Yeah. That’s where we’re going with this.
Once we discover that Thunk has failed his task and met an untimely demise, 4 potential suitors from the Twenty Kingdom arrive at the castle for a chance to win the princess’s hand in marriage. These suitors are then given a task – to recover the Ancient Artifact from the Fortress of Doom.
Through the story we explore the criteria of a ‘comic sidekick’ and ‘Evil Assistant’, fly fishing (because why not), why fortified castles always seem to have vulnerable ventilation shafts, and the infamous history of the Ancient Artifact. All the while showing that with a little determination, wit, and courage, anyone can be a hero! (in six easy steps or your money back!)
The humor throughout this flowed quite well and mostly through the dialog of the characters and their banter, though also through some clever worldbuilding. It’s a book written for laughs and flips plenty of tropes we often see in the classic tales of heroes long ago. A fun comic-fantasy page-turner!
“Slay dragons, rescue damsels, and defeat evil… in six easy steps or your money back!”
I had never heard of John Moore but this looked like it was going to be some kind of satirical trope-flipping take on the old ‘hero’s journey’ fantasy story. And yes, that’s exactly what it is. (Much like Kevin Hearne/Delilah Dawson’s ‘Kill The Farmboy’ series.) And from what I found this is John Moore’s wheelhouse as he has a number of other releases such as ‘The Unhandsome Prince’ and ‘A Fate Worse Than Dragons’.
A few things came to mind while reading this. I immediately thought of ‘Space Balls, but a Fantasy’ and of course ‘The Princess Bride’. The story opens up as we follow Thunk the Barbarian attempting to penetrate the Fortress of Doom in order to obtain the Ancient Artifact (that powers the Diabolical Device) from the Evil Lord Voltmeter (the one who must be named). Yeah. That’s where we’re going with this.
Once we discover that Thunk has failed his task and met an untimely demise, 4 potential suitors from the Twenty Kingdom arrive at the castle for a chance to win the princess’s hand in marriage. These suitors are then given a task – to recover the Ancient Artifact from the Fortress of Doom.
Through the story we explore the criteria of a ‘comic sidekick’ and ‘Evil Assistant’, fly fishing (because why not), why fortified castles always seem to have vulnerable ventilation shafts, and the infamous history of the Ancient Artifact. All the while showing that with a little determination, wit, and courage, anyone can be a hero! (in six easy steps or your money back!)
The humor throughout this flowed quite well and mostly through the dialog of the characters and their banter, though also through some clever worldbuilding. It’s a book written for laughs and flips plenty of tropes we often see in the classic tales of heroes long ago. A fun comic-fantasy page-turner!
June 20, 2017
Just what I needed. I short quick read. My unread books are packed at away at my parents' house, so here I am browsing the used book store at the library.
First off, that title. Really? Heroics for Beginners? I read the back of the book. Prince Kevin? What kind of fantasy hero name is that? I have to read this!
This book has the humor of Terry Pratchett's Discworld, but it goes way more overboard on the satire. A quote like "Any other valley this charming would have contented cows. These were the most disgruntled cows Kevin had ever seen..." I need to keep reading this and see what happens to Prince Kevin and Princess Becky. The humor might be a bit much for some people, but if you need a quick laugh for 200 pages, you might want to give this book a try.
First off, that title. Really? Heroics for Beginners? I read the back of the book. Prince Kevin? What kind of fantasy hero name is that? I have to read this!
This book has the humor of Terry Pratchett's Discworld, but it goes way more overboard on the satire. A quote like "Any other valley this charming would have contented cows. These were the most disgruntled cows Kevin had ever seen..." I need to keep reading this and see what happens to Prince Kevin and Princess Becky. The humor might be a bit much for some people, but if you need a quick laugh for 200 pages, you might want to give this book a try.
June 16, 2020
I really liked this book! Comedy is brought to this hilarious read with the turn of tropes on their heads, clever naming puns, and fun dialogue between the characters. Quick read that was fun and light-hearted, I especially enjoyed the poking fun at the sexist nature of some adventure story-lines and plots. Fun read, nothing groundbreaking but definitely enjoyable!
March 30, 2016
The invisible library is "a collection of books that only appear in other books. Within the library's catalog you will find imaginary books, pseudobiblia, artifictions, fabled tomes, libris phantastica, and all manner of books unwritten, unread, unpublished, and unfound."
John Moore has given us not one, but six new entries with this novel, a romping spoof and a quick read. Robert Taylor's Handbook of Practical Heroics, like his other work, is part of a medieval "...for Dummies" genre. (Other practical handbooks cover fly-fishing, gardening, antique refinishing, and—my favorite—dragon slaying, followed by burn and wound dressing.)
The heroics advice is brief, to-the-point and imminently practical, exactly the kind of invisible library fodder a medieval hero would want to check out!
Kevin Timberline, Prince of Rassendas, has a problem. Actually, he has several problems, including finding an acceptable nickname, so he doesn't wind up like his father, King Eric "Not Eric the Good, But the Other One." But he loves Princess Rebecca of Deserae, whose hand has been promised to Prince Logan, providing he retrieves the Ancient Artifact (model seven, and brand-new) stolen by Lord Voltmeter (He Who Must Be Named).
Inspired by the handbook given to him by Princess Rebecca's father (who thought it was the fly-fishing guide), Kevin decides on a preemptive crusade to storm Lord Voltmeter's Fortress of Doom, and earn the princess' hand for himself.
This book succeeds in spoofing a genre with light touches of laughter. There's an Evil Assistant whose costume is a running gag. There's a chain-mail bra that turns out to have been a Pretty Good Idea, even if the fur thong briefs were not. And there's an old seeress whose prophesy on Kevin's heroics is ominous—and too bad that he didn't get some tips on the stock market while he had the chance!
You'll like the way Moore has written a real sword-and-sorcery story within the parody, and how the humor actually makes sense in the context of the tale. It made me want to get another Moore novel, like maybe Slay and Rescue, which is a similar spoof of fairy tales.
Alas, of all the Moore spoofs, only The Lightning Horse is currently available for Kindle.
Liner Notes:
* Voltmeter's nickname is the only Harry Potter reference.
* The Handbook of Practical Dragon Slaying was described as "co-written with Holly Lisle".
* Arguably the most famous book in the invisible library is The Necronomicon. I think there may have been a copy in Lord Voltmeter's library. It's a bad, bad book.
John Moore has given us not one, but six new entries with this novel, a romping spoof and a quick read. Robert Taylor's Handbook of Practical Heroics, like his other work, is part of a medieval "...for Dummies" genre. (Other practical handbooks cover fly-fishing, gardening, antique refinishing, and—my favorite—dragon slaying, followed by burn and wound dressing.)
The heroics advice is brief, to-the-point and imminently practical, exactly the kind of invisible library fodder a medieval hero would want to check out!
When a wise old sage tells you not to let a magical talisman fall into the wrong hands, take him seriously. Do not laugh it off until the object is stolen and the Forces of Evil are unleashed. —HANDBOOK OF PRACTICAL HEROICS, Robert Taylor
Kevin Timberline, Prince of Rassendas, has a problem. Actually, he has several problems, including finding an acceptable nickname, so he doesn't wind up like his father, King Eric "Not Eric the Good, But the Other One." But he loves Princess Rebecca of Deserae, whose hand has been promised to Prince Logan, providing he retrieves the Ancient Artifact (model seven, and brand-new) stolen by Lord Voltmeter (He Who Must Be Named).
Inspired by the handbook given to him by Princess Rebecca's father (who thought it was the fly-fishing guide), Kevin decides on a preemptive crusade to storm Lord Voltmeter's Fortress of Doom, and earn the princess' hand for himself.
...the sunshine fell upon a shelf stacked with circular black objects. Kevin moved in for a closer look, then picked one up. It was a coffee mug, cheap black ceramic with the words FORTRESS OF DOOM painted in large red letters. Underneath was the slogan ENSLAVE THE PLANET. And then he understood where he was... He was in the Fortress of Doom gift shop.
This book succeeds in spoofing a genre with light touches of laughter. There's an Evil Assistant whose costume is a running gag. There's a chain-mail bra that turns out to have been a Pretty Good Idea, even if the fur thong briefs were not. And there's an old seeress whose prophesy on Kevin's heroics is ominous—and too bad that he didn't get some tips on the stock market while he had the chance!
You'll like the way Moore has written a real sword-and-sorcery story within the parody, and how the humor actually makes sense in the context of the tale. It made me want to get another Moore novel, like maybe Slay and Rescue, which is a similar spoof of fairy tales.
Alas, of all the Moore spoofs, only The Lightning Horse is currently available for Kindle.
Liner Notes:
* Voltmeter's nickname is the only Harry Potter reference.
* The Handbook of Practical Dragon Slaying was described as "co-written with Holly Lisle".
* Arguably the most famous book in the invisible library is The Necronomicon. I think there may have been a copy in Lord Voltmeter's library. It's a bad, bad book.
May 12, 2018
This book isn't funny.
I was expecting something with wit and humor along the lines of Pratchett or Asprin. What I got was an outline of a book that was going to be funny with a few scenes and "jokes" filled in but then the author gave up writing the rest and sent it to an editor for publishing.
I expected it to be about someone reading a book on "heroics for beginners" and bumbling along on a misadventure. What you get is a Marty Stu reading the book once off camera then doing everything right except for when the plot demanded it. The use of tropes was only as subtle as "here's a trope" and the lampooning of the trope was then weak.
Seriously, don't waste your time with this book. If you're a comedic fantasy fan you'll be disappointed and if you're trying to be a comedic fantasy fan there are much better authors out there.
I was expecting something with wit and humor along the lines of Pratchett or Asprin. What I got was an outline of a book that was going to be funny with a few scenes and "jokes" filled in but then the author gave up writing the rest and sent it to an editor for publishing.
I expected it to be about someone reading a book on "heroics for beginners" and bumbling along on a misadventure. What you get is a Marty Stu reading the book once off camera then doing everything right except for when the plot demanded it. The use of tropes was only as subtle as "here's a trope" and the lampooning of the trope was then weak.
Seriously, don't waste your time with this book. If you're a comedic fantasy fan you'll be disappointed and if you're trying to be a comedic fantasy fan there are much better authors out there.
January 22, 2016
Book #50 for 2015
This is another book that you have to be in just the right mood to enjoy. And that mood must be silly. The humor is sort of in the same vein as Shrek or Airplane! or Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but not presented with the same flair. Think more Scary Movie 3 than Galaxy Quest, caliber-wise. Some of the jokes were a little too dependent on references to fleeting pop culture figures, and some of them got old pretty quickly, but sometimes Moore was able to recognize that and dropped them after a few references. Like the whole Lord Voltmeter allusion to Rowling's Lord Voldemort. It wasn't all that amusing to begin with, but at least Moore didn't harp on it and moved on to other jokes before it annoyed me too much.
The plot was absolutely ridiculous and meandered a lot, sometimes expending a little too much time and effort chasing down a bad pun. But by some miracle, it held together tolerably well and was generally entertaining. If you're willing to accept this level of often juvenile silliness, it can be a fun read.
This is another book that you have to be in just the right mood to enjoy. And that mood must be silly. The humor is sort of in the same vein as Shrek or Airplane! or Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but not presented with the same flair. Think more Scary Movie 3 than Galaxy Quest, caliber-wise. Some of the jokes were a little too dependent on references to fleeting pop culture figures, and some of them got old pretty quickly, but sometimes Moore was able to recognize that and dropped them after a few references. Like the whole Lord Voltmeter allusion to Rowling's Lord Voldemort. It wasn't all that amusing to begin with, but at least Moore didn't harp on it and moved on to other jokes before it annoyed me too much.
The plot was absolutely ridiculous and meandered a lot, sometimes expending a little too much time and effort chasing down a bad pun. But by some miracle, it held together tolerably well and was generally entertaining. If you're willing to accept this level of often juvenile silliness, it can be a fun read.
Read
September 10, 2009Not recommended. This novel would be prime reading
for our fantasy/romance updated fairytale readers. The plot is cute, following the adventures of a canny prince competing with better looking, more courageous princes for the hand of the fair princess. However, the author felt he just had to stick in many crude sexual references, not obscene, just crude. They’re mostly snide kinds of remarks, not full blown sex scenes, but they don’t fit with the matter of fact tone of the rest of the novel and the clever, cute parodying of the fantasy/fairy tale genre.
for our fantasy/romance updated fairytale readers. The plot is cute, following the adventures of a canny prince competing with better looking, more courageous princes for the hand of the fair princess. However, the author felt he just had to stick in many crude sexual references, not obscene, just crude. They’re mostly snide kinds of remarks, not full blown sex scenes, but they don’t fit with the matter of fact tone of the rest of the novel and the clever, cute parodying of the fantasy/fairy tale genre.
July 24, 2008
I thought I would like this book, but I didn't. I started to really dislike the hero as the book progressed. Unfortunately, I had purchased a copy of the book. I donated it to my public library the day after finishing it. Also unfortunately, I purchased a copy of The Unhandsome Prince at the same time. Not sure that I'm going to read it before donating it to the library.
February 16, 2016
3.5 stars
I think that the author is a genius, maybe not genius-genius like Pratchett, but a genius nonetheless. This book it's not a masterpiece, but it's funny, sometimes it's sassy, and it's brilliant. I like it and it's really a good reading when you are in need of something undemanding.
I really liked it!
I think that the author is a genius, maybe not genius-genius like Pratchett, but a genius nonetheless. This book it's not a masterpiece, but it's funny, sometimes it's sassy, and it's brilliant. I like it and it's really a good reading when you are in need of something undemanding.
I really liked it!
December 25, 2015
Really fun and funny!!
April 15, 2024
Zero stars.
I think the author was trying to create a funny satire or tongue-in-cheek fairytale... It failed on both counts. The prince is unfaithful and unnoble, the princess ridiculously stupid, the side characters irrelevant, and the plot (is there one?) lacks all urgency.
On top of that, it's heavy on the sexual elements. (Is this written for children?)
- Princess appears nude to the prince and he describes feeling of her bare butt checks in his hands.
- Discussion about the princess's breasts ad nauseam.
- Princess is clothed in a silky thin nightgown and prince describes his thoughts, wondering if he moves one strap if her gown will fall completely off and she'll be standing naked in his arms, or if it will just fall a little and leave one boob bare.
- Princess makes a point to get a sperate room from the Prince, but then tells him to turn around, and when he does she is wearing lingerie undies and a chainmail bra. The prince wonders if he can actually see her nipples sticking through the chainmail or if he's imagining it.
- Evil Assist wearing sexy clothes seductively licks a whip and talks about other bondage tools.
- Prince wonders if he should have sex with Evil Assistant and goes on a mini dialogue with himself about how he's not actually engaged to the princess but kind of is... Comes to the conclusion that he's "not actually doing any harm to Becky. [the princess] But he still hoped she wouldn't find out."
- A lesbian sidekick, ripping the princess's clothes so her boobs are exposed.
- Evil Assistant makes sure to tell the prince that she's not wearing any panties and she's "shaved her ---". (The sentence is cut off.)
- Multiple references to bondage sex, handcuffs, chains, etc.
- Evil Assistant changes from sexy clothes into a bulky wool sweater, long tweed skirt, clompy brown shoes with white ankle socks, and a Star of David necklace. Evil Lord says, "There is nothing, absolutely nothing, about Valerie now that anyone, man or woman, would find the least bit sexy." (For the outfit, I agree and I see what the author was going for. But was it really necessary to add the Star of David necklace to give the image of prudish Jews?)
- Several secondary characters form a sex threesome - "two girls, one guy".
- Prince and princess joke about creating a foursome.
Didn't like. Wouldn't recommend.
I think the author was trying to create a funny satire or tongue-in-cheek fairytale... It failed on both counts. The prince is unfaithful and unnoble, the princess ridiculously stupid, the side characters irrelevant, and the plot (is there one?) lacks all urgency.
On top of that, it's heavy on the sexual elements. (Is this written for children?)
- Princess appears nude to the prince and he describes feeling of her bare butt checks in his hands.
- Discussion about the princess's breasts ad nauseam.
- Princess is clothed in a silky thin nightgown and prince describes his thoughts, wondering if he moves one strap if her gown will fall completely off and she'll be standing naked in his arms, or if it will just fall a little and leave one boob bare.
- Princess makes a point to get a sperate room from the Prince, but then tells him to turn around, and when he does she is wearing lingerie undies and a chainmail bra. The prince wonders if he can actually see her nipples sticking through the chainmail or if he's imagining it.
- Evil Assist wearing sexy clothes seductively licks a whip and talks about other bondage tools.
- Prince wonders if he should have sex with Evil Assistant and goes on a mini dialogue with himself about how he's not actually engaged to the princess but kind of is... Comes to the conclusion that he's "not actually doing any harm to Becky. [the princess] But he still hoped she wouldn't find out."
- A lesbian sidekick, ripping the princess's clothes so her boobs are exposed.
- Evil Assistant makes sure to tell the prince that she's not wearing any panties and she's "shaved her ---". (The sentence is cut off.)
- Multiple references to bondage sex, handcuffs, chains, etc.
- Evil Assistant changes from sexy clothes into a bulky wool sweater, long tweed skirt, clompy brown shoes with white ankle socks, and a Star of David necklace. Evil Lord says, "There is nothing, absolutely nothing, about Valerie now that anyone, man or woman, would find the least bit sexy." (For the outfit, I agree and I see what the author was going for. But was it really necessary to add the Star of David necklace to give the image of prudish Jews?)
- Several secondary characters form a sex threesome - "two girls, one guy".
- Prince and princess joke about creating a foursome.
Didn't like. Wouldn't recommend.
July 1, 2023
Jakie to było dobre! Książka, która parodiuje całą fantastykę, nawiązuje do innych dzieł i przede wszystkim, jest po prostu śmieszna (i to nie tak na siłę)!
Książe Kevin Timberline stara się o rękę księżniczki Becky, a jedynym na to sposobem wydaje się pokonanie złego Lorda Voltometra. Wydaje się mocno oklepane. Ale nasz Książe przez przypadek trafia na egzemplarz "Heroizmu stosowanego". No i tutaj zaczyna się najlepsze! W jego wyprawie towarzyszy mu nie kto inny jak, uwaga, sama księżniczka Becky, aspirująca na barbarzyńską wojowniczkę (no bo dlaczego nie? W zamku wieje nudą). Wstęp do Mrocznej Twierdzy, żeby nie było tak łatwo, możliwy jest jedynie od godziny 9 do 16. I tak błąkamy się z tymi bohaterami po kanałach wentylacyjnych, po lochach i sklepie z pamiątkami. Każdy problem rozwiązujemy z nimi, oczywiście, korzystając z "Heroizmu stosowanego"!
Jeszcze jeden raz uświadomiłem sobie, że warto również sięgać po książki mniej znane, bo można znaleźć niezłe perełki! Sama książka fabularnie nie ma do zaoferowania nic nadzwyczajnego, ot, niezbyt awanturniczy Książe zabiega o rękę księżniczki, a żeby mu się udało, musi pokonać złego gościa. Ale to nie fabułą żyje ta książka, tylko humorem właśnie. A jest on naprawdę bardzo dobry, nie jest żenujący ani męczący, czasami w mojej głowie pojawiała się myśl 'dawajcie jeszcze, mało mi'. Książkę bardzo polecam, jako takie bardzo rozluźniające oderwanie się od rzeczywistości czy od cięższych lektur.
Książe Kevin Timberline stara się o rękę księżniczki Becky, a jedynym na to sposobem wydaje się pokonanie złego Lorda Voltometra. Wydaje się mocno oklepane. Ale nasz Książe przez przypadek trafia na egzemplarz "Heroizmu stosowanego". No i tutaj zaczyna się najlepsze! W jego wyprawie towarzyszy mu nie kto inny jak, uwaga, sama księżniczka Becky, aspirująca na barbarzyńską wojowniczkę (no bo dlaczego nie? W zamku wieje nudą). Wstęp do Mrocznej Twierdzy, żeby nie było tak łatwo, możliwy jest jedynie od godziny 9 do 16. I tak błąkamy się z tymi bohaterami po kanałach wentylacyjnych, po lochach i sklepie z pamiątkami. Każdy problem rozwiązujemy z nimi, oczywiście, korzystając z "Heroizmu stosowanego"!
Jeszcze jeden raz uświadomiłem sobie, że warto również sięgać po książki mniej znane, bo można znaleźć niezłe perełki! Sama książka fabularnie nie ma do zaoferowania nic nadzwyczajnego, ot, niezbyt awanturniczy Książe zabiega o rękę księżniczki, a żeby mu się udało, musi pokonać złego gościa. Ale to nie fabułą żyje ta książka, tylko humorem właśnie. A jest on naprawdę bardzo dobry, nie jest żenujący ani męczący, czasami w mojej głowie pojawiała się myśl 'dawajcie jeszcze, mało mi'. Książkę bardzo polecam, jako takie bardzo rozluźniające oderwanie się od rzeczywistości czy od cięższych lektur.
September 29, 2025
I was at a book store and came across this wasn’t certain about the title but I read the back and decided to read it,
It gives you all the tropes of the fantasy novels and then the descriptions of certain tropes I was laughing at them and had to take pictures of the passages to send out as they were too good not to! Others have said it is a hash of fantasy tropes that are not necessarily good/funny or well written BUT THAT’S THE POINT read it as a brain cleanser before going back to the other books you’re reading
It gives you all the tropes of the fantasy novels and then the descriptions of certain tropes I was laughing at them and had to take pictures of the passages to send out as they were too good not to! Others have said it is a hash of fantasy tropes that are not necessarily good/funny or well written BUT THAT’S THE POINT read it as a brain cleanser before going back to the other books you’re reading
August 5, 2017
Heroics for beginners is a lighthearted novel that revolves around the story of Prince Kevin from Rasendas. It's your typical love-adventure story where heroes, princess, princesses and villains are major characters. It's exceedingly funny, and somehow puts a lighter tone on the plots of most hero-saves-the-day-and-gets-to-marry-the-princess books. I would recommend it to anyone on the right age (perhaps 15+ ?) because some conversations and scenes may be explicit for younger readers.
May 4, 2020
A fun, quick adventure that pokes fun at many tropes. Some jokes feel a bit overplayed or dated, and the set-up can come across as long. I would suggest it to my friends if they were looking for some light-hearted fare.
September 30, 2020
DNFed at 4%.
Really sorry about that but, I have allergy to non contributing things/facts to the plot in a book.
Too many sentences that are irrelevant to the plot nor they are funny. Should they be?
Idk.
Really sorry about that but, I have allergy to non contributing things/facts to the plot in a book.
Too many sentences that are irrelevant to the plot nor they are funny. Should they be?
Idk.
December 5, 2020
This book is a parodical-ish version of the Fantasy Hero Trope, with an extra dose of ridiculous thrown in because, why not? It was clever and witty, with enough mystery and suspense to give it a backbone. I wouldn't call it clean (what with a romance driving the hero), but it wasn't erotic by any means. Overall, I rather enjoyed it.
June 8, 2017
Pretty good. A fun and quick read, perfect for reading on the plane which I did. Slightly addictive and will make you keep turning pages. I will read more books by this author.
August 13, 2017
I enjoy books that poke fun of their genre and that was done here. Additionally the characters and story are well thought out. I will be looking for more books by this author.
December 13, 2017
It was a fun little book.
December 23, 2017
Skvělá a vtipná oddechovka. Divím se, že mi to uniklo v době, kdy jsem hltala Roberta Asprina.
January 10, 2019
Preposterous. Humor and comedy are fine, but it's still an author's responsibility to convince the reader that the events in his narrative are actually happening. Nothing like that here.
June 19, 2019
A funny and quick read. perfect for reading on public transport.
July 27, 2019
This is a silly send-up of heroic cliches, quite amusing and light, but you do need to be in the mood for silliness.
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