Make a Difference: In the Lives of Those You Love, Live With, and Lead

by Larry Little

Do you ever feel like you arent connecting with someone in your life? Maybe its an employee, a co-worker, a boss, or a business partner. Maybe its a spouse, a child, a parent, or a friend. The truth is, at some point, we all struggle to maintain good relationships with the people with whom we live our lives. Healthy relationships dont just happen, but rather are intentionally grown through work, investment, and dedication to connecting with another person where they are.

Dr. Larry Little has made it his lifes work to help people cultivate healthy relationships, and this mission led him to write Make A Difference, the first book that inspired the four-part EAGLE Leadership Series. His model of creating self-awareness that leads to others-awareness has led thousands of individuals to grow meaningful and positive relationships with the people they love, live with, and lead. Make A Difference is powerful in its simplicity, and will walk you through a proven process of connecting with others by equipping you with the tools that you need to truly begin investing in the important relationships in your life. Dr. Little guides you to lead yourself and others better by choosing to intentionally invest in relationships. You can Make A Difference.

108 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 3, 2013

Reviews

[C]

A friend who runs an IT company recommended this. I'm not rating it because I skimmed it, concentrating only on my personality type (Competent Camel) and my best guess at my wife's (Much-Loved Monkey). The book covers 2 other personality types (Leading Lion and Tranquil Turtle). The book is a bit repetitive, sharing the same details about the personalities in multiple chapters.

Notes
Understanding Your Personality
Personality test: eaglecenterforleadership.com > Take the Test

Much-Loved Monkey
• People-oriented, loves to be around people.
• Loves to laugh, have good time.
• Raises energy level.

Competent Camel
• Task-oriented, focused on small tasks.
• Cares about how job gets done.
• List-maker.
• Loves details.
• Structured, process-oriented (e.g., accountant, engineer).

Much-Loved Monkey
• Can discern your emotions.
• Naturally extroverted.
• Compassionate, empathetic; wants to help others.
• Processes emotions verbally.
• Struggles with feeling rejection, because they internalize what others say to them.
• Not naturally organized.
• Tends to deemphasize importance of negative situations, and uses humor to deal with them.

Competent Camel
• Processor, organizer, systemic thinker.
• Naturally introverted.
• Follow rules.
• Motto: always be prepared. Doesn't like spontaneity.
• Black-and-white thinker.
• Communicates logically.
• Not strong people skills. May come across as straightforward, lacking emotion.
• Has high, often unreasonable, expectations of others. May be critical or negative when expectations aren't met. Help them by setting reasonable expectations.
• May struggle with perfectionism and resulting feelings of frustration, guilt, incompetency.
• May micromanage stressful situations. Must allow others to help.

Commitment To Conflict
Much-Loved Monkey
• Expresses anger in verbal, emotion-based way; may become irrational.
• Quick to ask for and offer forgiveness; generally doesn't hold grudges; works to harmonize relationships.
• In conflict, desires first to be heard, second to restore relationship.
• Allow them to verbalize thoughts, offer security in the relationship, and address the issue. When all else fails, agree to disagree.

Competent Camel
• Most conflicts with a Camel arise from someone breaking rules.
• Gets angry because of lack of accountability or lack of follow-through on assigned tasks.
• In conflict, allow them to be heard. Allow them to share details of why they think they're right.
• In conflict, focuses more on accuracy and logic than emotional connection.

Tips for conflict resolution
1. Understand the person's personality.
2. Discuss in an environment free of interruptions, where each person feels safe to speak freely.
3. Actively listen. Pay attention to your nonverbal responses.
4. Focus on the issue, not the person. Stay calm.
5. Take personal responsibility for your contribution to the conflict.
6. Set realistic expectations; work towards a resolution all can buy into.
7. End conversation with affirmation, even if you agree to disagree.

The DNA Relationship Continuum
Much-Loved Monkey is people-oriented and extroverted (top right quadrant).
Competent Camel is task-driven and introverted (bottom left quadrant).

The Essential Gift
Dealing with a Monkey
• Quickest way to destroy relationship is giving them consistent negative feedback.
• Keep eye contact with them.
• Allow them to drift in conversation; they brainstorm and problem-solve verbally.
• When you disagree or disapprove, communicate that you disapprove of issue, not them.
• Give appropriate touch.
• Be aware of verbal and nonverbal communication.

Dealing with a Camel
• Quickest way to destroy relationship is withdrawing structure and organization from relationship.
• Give them a plan and let them follow it to completion.
• Camel struggles to understand emotional people, but is willing to help from a task perspective. Has a difficult time saying right words to someone going through an emotional time.
• Talk to them in rational, not emotional terms.
• Don't ask them to break rules.
• Help them set appropriate expectations for themselves and others.

[Yvonne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting book on personality types and ways to interact with others. Larry Little proposes that there are four personality types: Much-Loved Monkey, Leading Lion, Competent Camel, Tranquil Turtle. Camels and Turtles are on the introvert side and Monkeys and Lions are on the extrovert side. Camels and Lions are on the Task side and Turtles and Monkeys are on the People side. He gives examples of how they think and work and how you can interact well with different types. Interesting concepts.

[Amy Dunham · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an interesting personality framework. The best thing about Little's work is the focus he puts on learning about personality frameworks for the purpose of improving your relationships with family members, coworkers, and followers. I really appreciate that and what his framework has done for one of my most important relationships and my understanding of myself.

[Jack Bandy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Too basic. Puts people into boxes. This book can do more harm than good if people take it for the way it categorized individuals. I had to read it for a client that wants to give people a framework to think about relationships.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing and powerful book to be so small! I've taken the personality test before but until you know how to use the results they mean very little. Fantastic read!!!

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

The best asset of Dr. Little’s work is the simplified framework with enough psychological basis to offer credibility. The first step for all of us is to understand ourselves in order to work and live more harmoniously with others.
I researched and have completed several assessments (Gallup, MBTI, DISC and others) over the course of my life and career. At this point, I was revisiting and investigating framework to potentially incorporate into my consulting business. Sometimes, a lighter, more simplified approach is more apt to draw interest and have impact (Lion, Camel, Monkey, Turtle). Most adults will groan at the thought of yet another personality assessment. I do! Why not have a little fun while we pick up a few new ideas for working with people unlike ourselves?

[Angela Q · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good team building tool

A nice quick assessment and relational tool for team building. The quick view quad chart could be particularly useful in a challenging team situation. Not as thorough as Enneagram or MBTI, but a great start.

[Lanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a great short resource to help understand yourself and others better, and how to adjust to communicate well.