Verbal and Emotional Abuse: Victory Over Verbal and Emotional Abuse

Hope for the Heart

by June Hunt

You didn't think anyone could hurt you like this, but now that you're in or have experienced an abusive relationship, what do you do? Abuse ―whether through hurtful words, degrading looks, obscene gesture, or threatening behavior - inflicts immense pain and impedes emotional growth.

We have all been wounded by hurtful words and actions of others - whether the bully at school, the demeaning boss, a rage-filled driver, or someone in our own family. We often carry those wounds with us for a lifetime. June Hunt has a message for it is possible to stop the pain of abuse. Learn biblical truths and practical advice on how

Learn all forms of abuse and what to pay attention to when a relationship gives off warning signs. Also included in the definitions section are biblical examples of verbal and emotional abuse.

This mini-book will shed light on the characteristics of verbal and emotional abuse, words used in abusive conversations, methods of sabotage, and examples of what the victims may experience when dealing with an abusive relationship. Discover the causes of a person who abuses others and answer hard questions like, "How can he be so cruel?" and "How can she be so insensitive?"

The last section titled "Steps to Solution" gives you practical advice on how to put an end to verbal and emotional abuse

Perfect for small group & Bible studies, Sunday school, young adult and youth ministry, chaplaincy, Christian counseling, addiction & recovery programs, church giveaways, and much more!

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help

94 pages, Paperback

First published January 4, 2013

About the author

JUNE HUNT is founder of Hope for the Heart, a worldwide biblical counseling ministry, and hosts the award-winning radio program by the same name. Her numerous books include Seeing Yourself Through God’s Eyes, Healing the Hurting Heart, Bonding with Your Teen through Boundaries, and Hope for Your Heart.

Reviews

[Kimberlybethkrueger · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was really let down. This book did not uplift me in any way. Not my cup of tea. I should have read closer when buying this quick read. It ties the bible into matters of psychology- no thank you.

[Stephanie Oh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic resource on verbal and emotional abuse from a Biblical worldview written by an author with firsthand experience being abused. This book defines verbal abuse and emotional abuse, provides a list of common tactics used by abusers, gives an over of abusers’ backgrounds, and provides Biblical steps for solutions.
The author never justifies abuse or makes abuse victims feel as though the they are responsible for the way they’re being treated. The section at the end is written for abusers - not their victims.
I’m buying this book to share with other women who are in abusive relationships and a counselor who is struggling to define abuse outside of physical and sexual abuse.

[Jill · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's more a compilation of definitions and bullet-pointed check lists than a book. I had some useful takeaways - one of which was her segment on boundaries (p63). She advises "We need to strictly guard who has access to our hearts and minds." She follows with these questions: Do you feel that someone often takes advantage of you? Are you expected to meet all the needs of someone else? Do certain people expect you to help them, but then fail to help you when you need help? Do you feel manipulated by someone's lies, half-truths, procrastination, and lateness? These are all examples of a lack of emotional boundaries. Learn to draw the line with people who would cross your boundaries and put you in bondage. Be careful where and on whom you spend your emotions." For me, that was hands down the most useful and enlightening part of the book, even though it's not profound. It's pretty basic. There are scriptures smattered on all pages, but I didn't read them, because I can't stand Bibles that have jacked up the translation even further by throwing the language into common lingo - worst of all - replacing the word "charity" with "love" (1 Cor 13). I most especially loathe that replacement. It's a tiny little book. I guess it has some good stuff to offer, but I really don't care for the non-denominational Christian speak that comes across as a bit self-important. Not Hunt's fault so much as that I'm just at a point in my life where I've been drowning in it. Anyway, I'm going back through the book to write down the scripture references so I can read them in the KJV. I feel like half the meaning is stripped away in the newer Bibles.

[Rebekah Palmer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked how this book started out and the detailed definitions on what verbal and emotional is and what they entail including brainwashing and beliefs behind the victims and predators. I got a little disappointed at the ending because while she titles a section "is restoration possible for the abuser" the way the words are framed, responsibility for abuse once again gets flipped back onto the abused by asking the hurt if they are an abuser and to re evaluate their life (which isn't a bad thing: just not in context with restoring an abuser). I also don't feel it is every abuse victims God-given priority to use their story to comfort others nor do I feel it's imperative for an abuse survivor to start a healing ministry. Many times this just places a person with an abuse past into present and future opportunities for other people to abuse them. God doesn't will any kind of abuse, even for His own Glory and other's gain, in my opinion. I believe it is the individual persons choice on how they handle their life after abuse.

[Sheri · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had purchased this book to give to someone, but decided to read it before passing it on. I wanted to be certain the book would be appropriate for the recipient. I liked the fact that It related Bible passages to abuse, anger and various situations, without excusing the actions of the abuser. As a domestic violence survivor, I found the information in this book to be informative and uplifting for the survivor. I could be wrong, but one thing I don't recall seeing is the National Domestic Violence Hotline, which I wish would've been included for those in need that happen to read this book.

[Mae Ricci · Rating 4 out of 5]

🙃 A case of a negative situation turned positive: I was a little upset about having forgotten to bring my book to the hospital, so I checked out the gift shop, and from their selection of religious books, I bought this (along with two other titles, related to the theme of abuse and healing).

This provides excellent basic yet also detailed introduction to the subject of abuse, and decent suggestions for both victim and abuser.

The religious advises would have completely put me off, had I not learned about "ascension mechanics."

Impressed at the collection of biblical quotes, they were grounded and realistic, lol.

[Tanja · Rating 5 out of 5]

The most straight to the point book I have ever read on Verbal and Emotional abuse. Emotional and verbal abuse can be hard to navigate due to the manipulative nature of the abusers. This book gives clear biblical outlines that makes the murky waters clear for those who may think they are being emotionally abused. This is an excellent tools for counselors and pastoral staff. I can't say enough about thr simplicity and straightforwardness of this book. I will be keeping this in my personal library and encouraging others to read it as well.

[Sophia]

I found this book to be useful. It was validating, and it provides tools for those seeking to recover from, dismantle, or avoid abusive dynamics in a variety of settings.

As someone who is not very religious, I was almost always able to focus on the purpose of the message. Despite name-dropping quite a bit, the vast majority of advice is really about good values such as strength, support, and compassion - which are universal and healing concepts.

[Avani · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good overview of a tricky situation, but I found it less helpful for in-depth help. I also think the sections talking about how survivors should understand their abusers and how abusers can change should have been in another book, because it puts the onus back on the abused and smacks of the idea of "co-creating" abuse.

I think this book is better utilised by mental health professionals in addition to therapy to aid their clients, but I also think it's a decent first step.

[Lydia N · Rating 5 out of 5]

one of the most impactful books i've read (along with "uprooting anger"). this looks at healing and confronting abuse from a Biblical perspective and stepping into who God calls us to be. i cannot recommend this book enough.

[Nancy Gerard · Rating 5 out of 5]

This small book is filled with details on how to recognize verbal and emotional abuse. It gives God filled advice.

[Christy Gombert · Rating 5 out of 5]

A helpful book to victims and abusers alike

[Kelly Pinella · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book will equip you no matter what you've been through, whether you've been through little or been through a lot. I liked the length of this book and the examples of certain unhealthy thinking or speaking patterns and other statements to watch out for. At some point in our life, we're all guilty of saying something that has hurt someone's feelings. This book has great advice for everyone, whether you are the person who finds yourself stuck in a rut of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time or if you find yourself not knowing what to do or how to respond to someone who shoots out words of painful fiery arrows. While we can't control what other people say, we can get a better grasp onto how to respond with peace, forgiveness, and grace. This book will give you specific, more healthy word patterns to practice. I found this book refreshing and uplifting. It's perfect for psychologists and for everyday common people.

[Kristen Stieffel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a brief and concise book about a tough subject. Four stars instead of five because it could have gone deeper.

Dealing with a relative who's mentally ill is really difficult. It's even harder to acknowledge that the behaviors you tried to write off as "merely" symptomatic of their illness have an abusive effect on you. This book has really specific practical advice for dealing with that, including phrases you can use to set boundaries, such as "Because this behavior is unacceptable, I am going to distance myself awhile."

I especially appreciated the self-test that asks you to examine not only the other person's behavior but also your own. An eye-opener, that one.

There is a section at the end that the abuser can use if they are ready to try to change. Unfortunately, they have to want to change.

[Hannah Nelson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good quick read and overview

This book is a good start to your journey of healing. It doesn't dive deep into the issue but is a great quick dose of reality. My favorite part is that it is good for people on both sides of the abuse- the abuser and abused. Unfortunately most times they're the same. So I like that both parts can get help here.

[Jeffrey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book really helpful. It's short and concise, but seems to be complete. There are a lot of helpful scripture quotations throughout and good, clear suggestions about how to help with different things regarding abuse and abuse recovery.