Carol and Gene Kent's son is in prison. When I Lay My Isaac Down tells their story and shares the transformational power principles they learned about forgiveness and faith.
Dealing with her anger, grief, and shame, Carol could have given up. Instead she tells a highly personal, heartbreaking, and uplifting story that will bolster your faith.
Updated and revised, this edition contains a new chapter about what God has taught Carol since her son’s imprisonment.
Carol Kent is hilariously funny, biblically sound, and heartbreakingly transparent in person and in print. Founder and president of Speak Up for Hope (a prison ministry) and Speak Up Speaker Services (a speakers' bureau), Carol is the best-selling author of many books, including When I Lay My Isaac Down, A New Kind of Normal, Becoming a Woman of Influence, Speak Up with Confidence, Secret Longings of the Heart, and Tame Your Fears. She is an expert on public speaking, writing, and evangelism. Carol travels the world, speaking to tens of thousands each year at events such as Extraordinary Women, Vision New England, Women of Faith, THRIVE, and Women of Grace. Carol and her husband, Gene, make their home in Florida.
I read this book through the eyes of a victim and wife:
(My ex-husband is serving a 40-year prison sentence for committing a heinous crime against one of our children. He has just completed his 6th year.)
Aside from the publicity and popularity in some Christian circles, Jason Kent's trial was fairly typical. His trial (and events leading up to the trial) were like hundreds of others' going on everyday all across the US.
I felt the entire book was essentially summed up in the prologue, which to me, was the best part of the book. I gave this book a 3-star rating because of stories from other people she included throughout the book.
I found the author to be selfish, prideful, controlling and somewhat narcissistic. Carol Kent manages to rally large amounts of financial support, gifts and prayer in hopes of a miracle. The miracle being, her murderous son would walk free one day. She writes about relinquishing our expectations but never does she get to a place where she willingly trusts God for the outcome of her situation. She exhausts all human resources in an attempt to bring about her desired outcome, to no avail. This book is written with a strong Christian tone but expresses almost no sympathy, empathy or compassion toward the victim. She does try to convince the reader of her son's good character (mentions Naval Academy dozens of times) and goes so far as to paint the image of him being a righteous murderer. Like his mother, he demonstrated he was somehow above the law and took matters into his own hands. It is never stated that her son sought legal advice or assistance prior to acting on his suspicions.
The analogy she uses throughout the entire book is lost on this situation. The story of Cain and Abel would have been more fitting.
Having been through a horrendous situation, similar to hers, I could strongly relate to her descriptions of anguish and despair. But that's where the similarity ends. My expectations of God and the justice system differ greatly from hers.
This book does have a few interesting morsels sprinkled throughout but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I have found more helpful books, written by stronger men and women of faith, for times of crises.
I don't understand why so many people love this book. It was agonizingly repetitive in that all the author ever seems to do is weep. OK, I get it, she's experiencing a major traumatic event in her life, fine. But why is every other sentence about how much she's crying? I'm sure I would do my share of crying were I in her shoes, but at some point life must go on. I was expecting a story of grief and loss but I was also expecting to see mainly how she and her family have risen above circumstances and dealt with their pain through the grace of God. To some extent, she has shown that. Mainly, she comes across as melodramatic. It was disgusting to me how she talks about all of the gifts they've received to help them cope, etc. I'm sure the givers are big-hearted people but it just seems to me she is profiteering and that is reprehensible. It is one thing to bring glory to God by turning something of evil intent into something effective for ministry, but it is quite another to benefit from someone's plight as Carol Kent does.
I also don't understand how she holds such unrealistic views on her son's chances at freedom. She omits the fact that her son premeditated this murder in a most disconcerting way by stalking the victim, plotting and planning his death, and planning an escape. Jason even threatened the victim with a gun before the murder. Carol Kent makes it sound like her son was temporarily insane due to the supposed danger his stepdaughters were in, but the amount of planning and strategy he put into the murder belies that fact. The murder victim is accused of abuse, rape, and molestation. The facts surrounding the accusations are sketchy and don't have a lot of validation. The accusations may or may not be true, but in either case, it does not excuse her son's actions. She seems to think that because her son is a Christian and because he killed someone who was supposedly a terrible person, he shouldn't suffer the consequences. She continues to hope he will "walk in freedom" even though he has been sentenced to life without the possibility of parole. She seems to think God has allowed her son to be wronged. I think she's delusional. I can only imagine how it must feel to find out your son is a murderer and to know you won't watch him live a normal life. However, at some point you've got to accept that he made a wrong choice and is now suffering the consequences, and then live your own life. Carol Kent just comes across to me as melodramatic, self-serving, and needy for attention. I did not feel like this book was edifying to my faith at all, which is what I was hoping for.
I'm not really sure where to rank this book. On one hand, it's really good, but it's also really heartbreaking. It's part memoir, part diary, and part Bible study. This true story is about the author, who is a Christian public speaker, and her family as they deal with the aftermath when her only son, a successful naval officer, goes to jail for murder. I liked that the author never makes excuses for her son. She clearly states that what he did was wrong, yet she still yearns for grace and mercy for her son and his family. Carol Kent and this book serve as an inspiration to everyone whose life, through no fault of their own, has not turned out they way they had hoped. She continues to love, serve, and trust God in spite of the fact that her son remains in prison for life.
This book was so disappointing. I felt the author was too fixated on feeling sorry for her son and herself. She rarely acknowledges the victim of her son’s crime… she only mentions the victim and his family in a few brief sentences in the midst of pages and pages describing her own tears and disappointments. I wanted to read this book to see if other people who had family members in prison would feel the same emotions I do. She never mentions feeling anger toward her son. Her anger is directed at herself, the devil, the criminal justice system and the prison system. As someone who is a family member of someone who is serving a long prison sentence, I couldn’t believe that she never became angry at her son for his actions.
I was also dismayed when she mentions praying for her son and his wife to be able to move forward in their marriage without physical intimacy after he was just handed a life sentence! Did she not consider how her daughter-in-law (in her 20s) would feel about being married to someone who would never leave prison and come home? Did she expect April to stay married to her son for the rest of her life without having a husband to be present day in and day out? Did she consider how bringing her young daughters to visit her husband for the rest of their childhood might be emotionally scarring for them? Instead it seemed she was too fixated on trying to get him released one day.
Wow! What a book! This was incredible! I read it on my Kindle, but I want to get a hard copy to keep. It tells the story of her Carol Kent's personal tragedy, told in parallel with the bible story of Abraham and Isaac. The story is both utterly heartbreaking and uplifting, and what you learn from the story of Abraham and Isaac is amazing.
Again, another very important book, written by a very amazing woman. Highly, highly recommended.
"Devastation after devastation" is how Carol Kent described the tragic event caused by her son Jason. Jason Kent, an outstanding Christian man headed to the Navy Seals, unexpectedly shot and killed his wife's ex-husband. Carol opens her heart through her writing to allow us to see the emotional and spiritual struggles following the murder.
What I originally thought would be a detailed telling of the events and trial actually became a page turner that engrossed me from the beginning. When I Lay My Isaac Down focused more on their emotional and spiritual struggles rather than legalities. With warmth and open honesty Carol shares how she and her family needed strength and support during the most horrible time of their life.
When Carol and her family was too down to fill their own spiritual and emotional needs, God brought people into their lives who made a difference. Amazingly this book was more than a retelling of events. It inspired me to be more creative in how I reach out to help others who need encouragement.
I recommend this book to anyone who knows someone living a tragedy or is living one themselves. As a matter of fact, I have already had to repurchase a copy because I gave the first away. It's definitely worth reading.
Books seldom make me weep. This is a notable exception.
Pain is universal. The author has been through a massively traumatic event extending over a couple years and forever changing the course of her life, and helps us understand that our response - turning to God "even in this" gives hope both to us and to humanity watching our lives.
I'm thankful there is hope. Even when we serve a God we don't understand, His call to lay our Isaacs down (whatever they may be) is not for the outcome so much as the process: to call us closer to Him and into a deeper trust and worship.
Life isn't easy, and God sure doesn't make sense sometimes. Hope is a choice.
Second read 2021. The book affected me much differently (and much less) this time around. 3.5 maybe. I’m much more aware of the author’s position of privilege and her hope for something that is unlikely to come to pass, her son to be released from a life sentence after first degree murder). I’m all for hope but 🤔
A gifted communicator and speaker, Carol Kent's world crashed down around her when her son shot and killed his wife's ex. An only child, her son had an exemplary military career and an impeccable record. His trial and subsequent life sentence was a nightmare for a mother to live through. But live she did, thanks to her faith, strong marriage, and network of supportive friends. Carol came to see that for her, "normal" living would have to be redefined. She and her husband picked up the pieces of their shattered family life and have learned to be fruitful in a place they never hoped to know intimately: prison. The title correlates with the Biblical story of Abraham and his obedience to God in placing his only son on the altar of sacrifice. This is a touching memoir and would be healing balm to any parent who suffers because of the choices a beloved child makes.
It’s difficult to know how how I felt about this book. There were some good things shared and some encouraging stories by others included in the book. But I just could not get past the lack of remorse and gravity of what their son had chosen to do. It was just constantly like poor JP all this has happened to him, as if he was an unwilling victim. No it was a choice! I do genuinely feel for the parents of JP as they didn’t choose this and their lives have been rocked and dreams lost. But there just seemed to be no accountability or responsibility placed on their sons shoulders. Forgiveness is real but you must acknowledge your wrong and grieve it, not make excuses. The parents and family of JP are getting so much support. I wonder if the real victims family are getting any. Some empathy and compassion for the victims family would be good.
I have listened to this book several times over the years and every time it touches me in a special way! Carol shares her own testimony of God's mercy in the midst of the terrible news that her one and only child committed first degree murder. Carol also includes testimony of other men and women who have suffered in their lives and how God has healed them!
"Pain is pain is pain!" Carol Kent It doesn't matter what is hurting you, God is the ONLY answer! Their is a purpose in your pain! God is using it and you for His purposes and glory!
68 Simon Peter answered him [Jesus], “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. 69 We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God.” John 6:68-69
This was a very inspirational book for me. It caused me to examine the strength of my own faith and if I would be able to withstand such tragic circumstances as the author experienced. It also gave me a fresh perspective on how to better help others bear their burdens. I want to be a "stretcher-bearer" or even a "band-aid carrier". No matter what your trial may be, I think this book may help to lift you up.
A partly encouraging, but still deeply troubling book. It is a book full of self-pity, entitlement, pride covered up with tears, melodrama, striving for prestige, striving for recuperating of her reputation in order to be able to continue her ministry.
Don't get me wrong, I was deeply moved by her grief. She must have gone through a very, very hard time. But the book leads to a spiritual dead end, apart from her being a good example in perseverance. There is hardly any other positive take-away from it.
It is rather a testimony to how we should not handle things.
She stayed relatively strong in her faith what is quite impressive, but did not really trust THEOS for the outcome of her situation and instead employed a very controlling attitude, spending apparently tens or rather hundreds of thousands of dollars for lawyers, in order to save her son from a penalty or to have him get away with a little condemnation ("I believe my son was mentally incapacitated at the time of the crime, and that he needs treatment and counseling in a controlled environment"). She showed no biblical humility. Even David accepted his penalty after his murder, and it is unthinkable to accommodate a behavior like hers within a biblical story. Just imagine David would have been arrested after his murder and his mother would have called together hundreds of friends for prayer and to do multiple Jericho-style prayer walks around and inside the court while manipulating THEOS in a selfish way to spare her son from the law. What happened instead? He deeply repented and faced the consequences like a man, including the death of his son.
She repeatedly showed to have not been in the Spirit, when praying for her own desires.
She never in the book elaborated on the feelings of the victim's family, but went as far as to have thought 'why can't she not understand what is at stake for me (when she faced the victim's mother in the court). There is (close to) no mention of asking the family for forgiveness, of her driving to the victim's family, of her followers or rather her sending any of the many gifts & cards she received.
- She repeatedly depicted the victim as a potential abuser of his very own children who now lived with the mother, and not even once reflected on her own responsibility in approving the marriage of her son to a divorced woman, who must have significantly contributed to a deep hate of her second husband towards her first husband.
It is more, the author herself later also divorced and even admitted this in the book. She apparently did not learn anything from this one significant sin and the devastating consequences, namely adultery, which his son did not repent of (at least until his murder) and then even led to a bigger sin, to murder. The Bible is so very clear on the effect and escalation of unrepented sins, but neither the murderer nor his family nor apparently many of their supporters ever realized why THEOS was absent in his favor. Instead, she willingly approves of remarriage and underlined this through the other stories in her book.
Quote: "We each brought our own baggage to a new marriage and learned to "lay it down," slowly at first, and then more quickly as trust grew. Joy returned to my soul—but it's a different kind of joy than I experienced as a young newlywed. It's a bittersweet joy seasoned with pain, betrayal, grief, and rejection; but it's also a deeper joy, based on faith and trust in a resurrected Jesus, the one who understands good friday experiences better than anyone else."
THEOS absolutely hates adultery, He absolutely hates remarriage and He even more hates murder. Everything can be forgiven, but in this case there was not even the awareness of those horrible sins. Probably there is not even today.
She constantly praised the achievements of her family and of her son, and even emphasized that he taught CHRISTOS to inmates. Now I don't think it is fitting in any way that a Christian teaches within weeks after such a horrible act. Would a pastor who has just murdered someone be allowed to preach in a church? Certainly not. Then why do we think it is ok in a prison? THEOS is certainly very glad to have people coming to CHRISTOS and people preaching CHRISTOS inside a prison. But I would be very surprised if THEOS would approve a man who recently killed and is most probably possessed by unclean spirits if not demons, to immediately teach. Moses waited for 40 years until THEOS restored him to leadership!
It is not fitting that she is teaching in this book repeatedly exercises for the reader. She should show humility and not manipulate people to still picture her in authority.
She went as far as to compare the toe-tag sentence of her son to the death 'penalty' of CHRISTOS. Absolutely disgusting and totally inadequate.
I do not think that she is a born-again believer and many signs are pointing to her being a Roman Catholic or at least being very close to Catholic Mysticism ( /Contemplative Prayer / Spiritual Formation). She uses as standard Bible for the entire book the heretical Message Bible from Eugene Peterson! She repeatedly quotes Henri Nouwen (Universalist, mantra meditation, embraces Buddhism, taught Kenosis, characterized Thomas Merton the Buddhist - Catholic monk as "the greatest spiritual writer of the twentieth century")!
- Endorsement of several leaders very close to Roman Catholicism, such as Eugene Peterson, Henri Nouwen, Max Lucado, Michael W. Smith, Rick Warren ...
Endorsement on her Twitter account of: Andy Stanley (7x), Augustine (2x), Beth Moore (8x), Charles Spurgeon (5x), Christine Caine (18x), C.S. Lewis (30x), Eugene Peterson (3x), Henri Nouwen (10x), John Ortberg (11x), Max Lucado (37x), Mother Teresa (17x), Richard Foster (3x), Richard Rohr (1x, very popular promoter of New Age), Rick Warren (27x) et al.
This book was a huge perspective changer for me. She taught me so much on how to rely on Christ in the midst of such devastating circumstances. I had the opportunity to hear Carol speak at a conference my church hosted in 2018, but decided to wait to read the book until after it had been some time so the information wasn’t all on repeat from the conference. Great reminders to keep on fighting the good fight, not to mention the testimony her, her husband and her son Jason all have through the entire ordeal.
This book combines the author's personal story of family tragedy with Scripture and encouragement to those who have suffered loss and grief of any type. I appreciated her honesty in the degree of her emotional suffering, and also in the surprising strength that God gave her - the strength to persevere and even to accept a new vision and purpose as God changed the course of their family and their lives. Highly recommended for ANY believer! The only reason I didn't give it 5 stars is that parts of it I found too saccharine for my taste. But for the most part, it was very helpful and important to me. That's why it took me over a month to read it - I had to keep pausing to journal, to ponder, to pray.
A friend recommended this book to me because I'm still struggling with some of the issues around the accident that killed my father last summer. While Kent's story is different than mine, the strugle is still the same. Something terrible happened to a loved one and we are caught up in a situation we never thought would happen to us.
The legal system was slow for her and is for us. Kent shares words of wisdom from friends and other sources. She shared her struggles, hopes and disappointments. Through it all her family and friends met her physical needs as well as her spiritual ones.
I was a little put off by the end. I think she was trying to be upbeat and optimistic but it came off as preachy and, well, a little idealistic for her situation.
Some of the quotes I highlighted: "The terrifying but truthful fact is that in choosing life you realize it will never match the kind of life that was in your carefully thought-out plan for your future. It will force you to view the people around you differently. The brokeness will challenge you to new levels of personal compassion. It will melt your pride, diminish the importance of your carefully designed agenda, and it has the potential to develop an unshakable faith that defies rationality."
"Our 'Isaacs' are the heart sacrifices we make when we choose to reliquish control and honor God with our choices even when all seems lost. We have to decide if we will let go of our control over a person, situation or even or if we will hange on for dear life and refuse to relinquish something we cherish."
"When God seems the most absent, He is the most present. He is in the middle of your circumstances whether or not you have recognized Him."
How did they cope with knowing their son would spend the rest of his life in jail? This book tells you. First - they had family, and a multitude of friends and acquaintances because of her speakers ministry. We should all be so lucky when life hands us a curve ball. They had faith which was shaky at times, whose wouldn't be. But mostly, I think, they had each other. The book has questions at the end of each chapter which I thought were very good. They make you think, and hopefully realize no matter what your problem, you can't get through it alone. There will be good days and bad ones, but life goes on and so should you. I wanted to know more about Jason and she is extremely skimpy on details. For more on him google his name and watch the Dateline special they did in 2007, and her blog has a 2010 update. Many commented on all the tears. If you haven't had a child in jail, you can't possible know how heart rending that would be. All your dreams are up in smoke and all you can do is sit by and pay the lawyer. Everything you see or hear is a constant reminder of how his life used to be. Tears are a much needed release or you would explode.
This was a wonderful book. Carol Kent uses the story of Abraham's willingness to sacrifice Isaac as the model for the sacrifices we must make in life - both those we choose and those we have no choice but to make. Her message is all the more poignant for being woven through the story of her own Isaac sacrifice: watching her only, beloved son convicted of first-degree murder and sentenced to life in prison, without parole. This book was incredibly encouraging and healing to me as I continue an "Isaac season," but I think it is valuable for both those who've gone through a heart sacrifice and those who haven't. Mrs. Kent is vulnerable and honest about her struggle to remain faithful through her years of trial. But faithful she has been and it is incredibly inspiring. I especially loved her image of "stretcher bearers." I have many in my life and hope I will be many times to others. I highly recommend this book to EVERYONE - male and female, young and old, suffering or not.
You can get any number of messages from reading Carol Kent's "When I Lay My Isaac Down: Unshakable Faith in Unthinkable Circumstances. For me, various lessons revealed themselves throughout. Carol's unimaginable circumstances - her son committing murder and the subsequent journey of hope and pain for her family and all those that loved them was, for me, first a reminder that Christians, are not exempt from pain. We are promised everything we need to walk through it but we are not promised to escape it. Throughout the book Carol's pain was visceral as was that of her family and circle of friends that walked with them but sharing that pain was also a reminder of God's faithfulness to us in all things. This book did not over indulge in "Christian speak" but it doesn't run from it either. If you have been struggling with your own Isaac, pick up this book and open your heart to its voice.
This book gave me hope and peace beyond measure as I lay down the dreams I had for my son, whom I thought would be perfect in every way, but was instead born with Asperger's syndrome. I learned that there is still beauty, and hope and peace if I will only lay it down at the throne of Christ and trust God. A MUST read!!!!
You can get any number of messages from reading Carol Kent's "When I Lay My Isaac Down: Unshakable Faith in Unthinkable Circumstances. For me, various lessons revealed themselves throughout. Carol's unimaginable circumstances - her son committing murder and the subsequent journey of hope and pain for her family and all those that loved them was, for me, first a reminder that Christians, are not exempt from pain. We are promised everything we need to walk through it but we are not promised to escape it. Throughout the book Carol's pain was visceral as was that of her family and circle of friends that walked with them but sharing that pain was also a reminder of God's faithfulness to us in all things. This book did not over indulge in "Christian speak" but it doesn't run from it either. If you have been struggling with your own Isaac, pick up this book and open your heart to its voice.
At first I was put off by the book’s format: Carol’s son, a Naval Academy graduate with no previous history of mental illness, was arrested for murder, and in each chapter she tells a bit of her story and then pivots to application and reflection questions for the reader. This felt weird to me. But the more I read, the more I realized that this is how she processes her story. She wasn’t trying to capitalize on her son’s incarceration; she was already a speaker and writer of studies before her son’s arrest. I still don’t love the format, but I feel like I understand. Her son is now 50 years old. The wild thing about social media is that you can look someone up and see what is going on! I think her book was written in 2004, but I don’t remember. Anyway, I don’t know if I’d recommend this book, but I appreciated her journey and work.
Lesson learned...don't read reviews of book you are already set to read. I had this book for a church book club and the first couple reviews I read on Goodreads were negative which colored my enthusiasm. However, I ended up not agreeing with the reviews. I'd say it has a lot of solid support for anyone going thru a traumatic life experience and struggling to stay connected with their faith, or even strengthening it. It reminded me a lot of challenges during a severe injury/long recovery of my daughter, but then I think that is the point...we all have things in our lives that present difficulties in various forms and you don't have to have a child in prison (as the author does) in order to find help in her writing.
In the midst of horrifying circumstances, Carol Kent reminds readers to cling to God "even in this." With honesty and openness, she shares her testimony of the good, bad and ugly she experienced in the several years between when her son was arrested for murder to the end of his trial. Each chapter includes testimonies from others and study questions for deeper reflection. I recommend this book to anyone struggling with a trial, big or small. It encouraged me to continue keeping my eyes on Jesus, hoping in Him and looking for the blessings in the midst of my own "laying down Isaac" experience.
Carol Kent helped my Christian walk when I saw her at a Women of Faith conference in 2005. God only knows why it's taken me until now to read this book, but it was one of the most powerful testimonies of faith I have read in my life. To have been through what she and her family went through is absolutely a mark of unshakable faith in unthinkable situations. If you are struggling, if you are enduring something that is hard and confusing, please read this book. Although I am not currently in a season of difficult situations, I know one is coming and having read about this type of faith ~ gives me hope for what will come.
I think there are some solid Christian principles in this book that can definitely help with suffering. Like, keeping an eternal mindset, being faithful in prayer, accepting unthinkable circumstances, wrestling with God in suffering.
What kept me reading the book was me wanting to find out what the reason was and more detail behind her sons decision to do the murder. And of course the result, and if he would spend life in prison.
It definitely had an unsuspecting ending
But also, I didn’t learn more details like I wish I would have. But the point of the book, of course is our relationship with God in suffering.
A great read, a story of faith and courage in circumstances which are difficult to comprehend. Carol’s faith in the Lord to carry her and her family through is encouraging to anyone else going through an ‘Isaac’ situation. I would, and will be, recommending this book to anyone going through trials. Thank you Carol for sharing your story. It was not written in a way to bring attention to herself (you often wonder with books like this if the person has been pushed by someone to make money from the situation), but rather bring attention to the Almighty Father and His deliverance.
What a wonderful timely read this was for me. It spoke to every emotion I am walking through right now. Beautifully written and walks you through whatever your most difficult times might be points you straight to the Man, the Creator who has all the answers. Sometime it’s just sit down right here next to me I’ll listen.
Highly recommend for anyone stuck clinging to something or someone that belongs to Him! God is fully capable to handle your something or someone. He has a plan, let Him have it.
Carol tells of her beautiful son who was a friend of everyone, good in all ways, an only child, the oldest cousin in her family of sisters, loved so much by all four grandparents, graduated top of his class in college and West Point, was ready to leave his wife and two young step daughters to take an assignment in Haawaii, but days before leaving took the life of his wife's ex-husband, leaving everyone in utter shock.. Carol needed to lay her son's future before God as Abraham did with his only son, Isaac. Difficult story.