I found this book HILARIOUS, just not in the good way. i believe the author thought her writing style to be WITTY and AMUSING, when in truth it was SO AWFUL you have to laugh so it won't make you cry.
before i start this review in earnest i want to make something very clear. i do not like BDSM. i don't understand it and can tolerate it in books when it's in the background or not pushed in your face on every page. this book, if you can call it that, was one prolonged sex scene between 2 practitioners of BDSM lifestyle. at least, author seemed to think so.
so, let's see what made this book so freaking funny.
1. the popular believe is that bdsm is about trust. BUT there are rules. the way i see it, when you, an experienced Dom, are about to have sex with a new partner you know nothing about, even if she or he is a sex worker, you ASK THEM ABOUT THEIR LIMITS AND CHOOSE A SAFE WORD. YOU ABSOLUTELY DO NOT SLAM THEM AGAINST A DOOR WITHOUT UTTERING A SINGLE WORD. it's not just rude, it is an ABUSE OF POWER. and you were surprised by the lawsuit? FUNNY.
2. "...goosebumps rose on her skin, her stomach flip-flopped and her internal muscles clenched". wow. all of that at the same time? was she being electrocuted? Funny.
3. "He had the natural musky scent of a strong, healthy male animal". sexy. am i the only one who wants to put a hand over my nose? Funny.
4. "You're flooding down there, you're so wet for me. that slick nectar is pouring out - just like a river that's broken it's banks". what a tantalising picture. but what if he can't swim????? Not funny.
5. "Then without warning he bit her hard, chewing her tender nub with his teeth" Ouch. No comments here.
6. "...her cunt pulsed, milking him with the force of a Dyson vacuum cleaner..." Wow. there must have been some lonely days in Thor's past to make such a comparison. Not to mention it's not humanly possible. Funny.
7. " Carmen knew that few had as much experience as she had with sucking or jacking off cock". What a wonderful talent, indeed. why not put it in you resume? Funny.
8. "To be really good at something - be it languages, arithmetic or BLOW JOBS, - a person learned best when they were taught from when they were A CHILD". I kid you not. She said it. She put it in writing. Someone published it. Shouldn't those be arrested for such a disgusting slander? WHAT THE FUCK??????
9. "insatiable little slut"..the soft ADMIRING way he said it made it sound more like SWEET words of endearment than insult". how lovely. kinda makes you want to put a bullet between his eyes. Funny.
10. "Yes, but i'm the Dom", he said with a chuckle. "I'm allowed to LOSE CONTROL..." Are you, really? sounds rather promising, isn't it? and SAFE. Funny.
Honestly, i found this book REVOLTING. it should never have been published. or at least called a more appropriate "little slut's handybook", so there is no mistake what kind of DIRT it's about.
There are some sick minds out there, indeed. perhaps it's the author's time for an annual check-up with her psychiatrist.
In the end, i think that nikki *know nothing about* Sex, should try to find herself another profession, beacause she so obviously SUCKS at writing.