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366 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 9, 2015





“What are you thinking?”
“How young you look.”
“Were you thinking that yesterday while I was between your legs, eating your pussy after I’d f*cked you hard against the wall?”
“I wasn’t thinking.”
“Good. That’s how we’ll keep it, then.”
“I’ve been in the dating arena long enough to know that when your date starts talking about themselves in the third person, it’s time to hide.”
“I somehow envisioned embracing motherhood differently. Not at thirty-five, without a partner, and knocked up by a gigolo who might or might not be named Luigi.”
“… he was such a shameless flirt. Gorgeous, charming, easygoing. Pity when it came to women, he has the attention span of a hummingbird on crack.”
“I’ve watched you come apart in my arms. I’ve held you while you slept. I’ve felt your baby kick. No, I haven’t f*cked you. My dick hasn’t been inside you. But don’t be mistaken; we do have an intimate relationship.”
“I’ll erase them.”
“What?”
“Your reservations. I will blast them out of the sky. Every single one of them.”
“I noticed when I went to your bedroom … that you have a yoga swing hanging from your ceiling. I didn’t know you practiced yoga.”
“I don’t. That’s a sex swing.”
“Love me? I’m a simple man, Ace. I don’t ask for much.”

"You telling me you moonlight as a porn stuntman?"
He cocked an eyebrow. "You mean a stunt dick, right?"[...]
"Ace?"
"Yes?"
"Just for the record. I would never be a stunt dick. I would be the main dick."
"Good thing you're not a sympathetic puker."
"We need to stop meeting like this. I'm not used to making girls ill. This is very bad for my self-confidence. They tend to be doing something else when they're on their knees."





