Rant

by Alfie Crow

Whilst the following story is completely true, I have slightly changed my own identity in order to avoid prosecution and/or violent death – or, at the very least, a good kicking. Not that any of the events contained herein were my fault – or at least none of the important ones. Or only some of them.

Unless you include obtaining money under false pretenses.
Or the borrowing of various motor vehicles without permission.
Or perverting the course of justice.
And, of course, the use of sarcasm and choice language in a built-up area.

Oh, and being party to the kidnapping of several young people with multiple disabilities, though that was definitely just a case of being caught up in the excitement of the moment.

And the same could really be said about all the explosions, the arson, the molesting of various indigents and the so-called high treason charge that, in my opinion,was trumped up because none of the other stuff was going to stick in court.

Or the thing about interfering with the dead guy. But I was desperate at the time.

That came out all wrong.
No, wait, if you’d just let me explain…

Genres: Fiction

250 pages, Paperback

First published April 19, 2013

Reviews

[Helen McGowan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I quite enjoyed it in the end, I had to stop reading it in a couple of places, because it turned my stomach. It was well written and I enjoyed the ending, but I'm not sure I would read another.

[Lauren Tremble · Rating 3 out of 5]

Witty and funny, an easy read

[Kate Fox · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have been lucky enough to read a preview copy of this.
I don't know how often people laugh out loud when they say a book is "Laugh out loud" but this was at least once a page for me.
The protagonist Mike Rant is a hapless actor turned accidental spy. In the film I could see him being played by Simon Pegg.
He accidentally gets mixed up with the CIA, some criminals and a plot to bring down the government and stumbles catastrophically and hilariously through what becomes a page turning thriller.
There are several stand out set piece scenes which seem to be begging to be included in a film (watch out for the sewers, the service station and the London Eye)-and the strong visuals and breathless chase and flashbacks and flash forwards contribute to a cleverly structured book with a main character who's got a heck of a comic voice.

[Misfits farm · Rating 4 out of 5]

A laughable story of a hapless man getting himself into various misdemeanours. Hard to say at times what the story is about in the early stages. It does become a “thriller/crime” later on which brings it together. That said it brought a smile to my face on several occasions and had me humming a long forgotten song most of the day (it was one of those annoying ones) you get the gist! This is not a serious book, juts light-hearted humour to make you smile. A little like a slapstick comedy where things don’t happen like that but if they did how you would deal with it and possibly end up in an even worse mess. Some classic lines like “I went from Vinnie Jones to Corporal Jones instantly” !! If you want a pick me up- this could be it!

[Dot · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this book on one flight back from Israel and it made me laugh so many times that I got funny looks. Fast paced, sarcastic and witty- I think the stream of consciousness style here is what gives it it's charm.

[Mazz Cole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick paced, entertaining and very funny. I genuinely laughed out loud - a lot!

[Kirsty Jarvis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Witty and funny; an entertaining read

[Ollie]

An intelligently written unique story