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Do Not Touch
Lane doesn't understand why people have such a hard time following directions. All these paintings are clearly marked "DO NOT TOUCH" for a reason.
32 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 23, 2013
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
March 29, 2019
It’s never less of a shock to stumble out of the basilica quiet of the museum into a field, a snowscape, the edge of the crashing sea—a crowd, heaving at a circus in 1890s France.
this story surprised me. a lot. it’s not the kind of thing i ordinarily dig - lighthearted adventure/romance with portals and time travel and a kid and, you know, art, but the way it’s written charmed me pretty hard. i don’t know if i have ever had the occasion to use this word before now, but it is utterly winsome.
prudence shen seems to write mostly in the graphic novel medium, which makes a lot of sense. she has a dynamic narrative style with an emphasis on imagery which -yes - is not a skill she would necessarily have had to develop in her career, as any visual accompaniment would be handled by the illustrator, but it does correspond to a sequential arts sensibility - someone accustomed to thinking about storytelling in both linguistic and pictorial modes means that description and movement are going to be valued or emphasized even when there aren't any actual pictures attached.
this story is just a fun fantasy-explanation about why you’re not supposed to touch the paintings at art museums.
Weird stuff gets recorded in the paint.
Lars, who’d handled this crap before he’d scammed Lane into taking the job, said nobody knew why or what caused some paintings to go from innocuous to eating little kids who didn’t know how to follow museum directions. Sometimes buried in the provenance of the pieces there’s a footnote that warns of a history of shenanigans, but just as often paintings develop the nasty habit spontaneously.
if art ever tried to eat me, i’d probably like museums more. and i mean that in the most family-friendly way possible. i don’t know much about art, but the idea of leaping into a painting and wandering around is pretty appealing. although there are some exceptions:
if you’re going to get sucked into a painting, the surrealists and the weird medieval stuff are the worst.
noted.
lane and eugenie work for the museum, where their job is to rescue people who have disobeyed the VERY CLEAR ’do not touch’ signs and been unwittingly sucked into the paintings. and today, a twelve-year-old boy has managed to get himself stuck in seurat’s Le Cirque.
it is far from their first trip into this particular painting, but this time, there is an added complication resulting in hijinks, humor, champagne and burlesque.
it’s just… fun. there’s a little art history, some flirtatious banter between our heroes, and a mischievous kid who is surprisingly untedious.
it's charm for days, and it warmed me to my usually charm-averse core.
read it for yourself here:
http://www.tor.com/2013/04/23/do-not-...
come to my blog!
this story surprised me. a lot. it’s not the kind of thing i ordinarily dig - lighthearted adventure/romance with portals and time travel and a kid and, you know, art, but the way it’s written charmed me pretty hard. i don’t know if i have ever had the occasion to use this word before now, but it is utterly winsome.
prudence shen seems to write mostly in the graphic novel medium, which makes a lot of sense. she has a dynamic narrative style with an emphasis on imagery which -yes - is not a skill she would necessarily have had to develop in her career, as any visual accompaniment would be handled by the illustrator, but it does correspond to a sequential arts sensibility - someone accustomed to thinking about storytelling in both linguistic and pictorial modes means that description and movement are going to be valued or emphasized even when there aren't any actual pictures attached.
this story is just a fun fantasy-explanation about why you’re not supposed to touch the paintings at art museums.
Weird stuff gets recorded in the paint.
Lars, who’d handled this crap before he’d scammed Lane into taking the job, said nobody knew why or what caused some paintings to go from innocuous to eating little kids who didn’t know how to follow museum directions. Sometimes buried in the provenance of the pieces there’s a footnote that warns of a history of shenanigans, but just as often paintings develop the nasty habit spontaneously.
if art ever tried to eat me, i’d probably like museums more. and i mean that in the most family-friendly way possible. i don’t know much about art, but the idea of leaping into a painting and wandering around is pretty appealing. although there are some exceptions:
if you’re going to get sucked into a painting, the surrealists and the weird medieval stuff are the worst.
noted.
lane and eugenie work for the museum, where their job is to rescue people who have disobeyed the VERY CLEAR ’do not touch’ signs and been unwittingly sucked into the paintings. and today, a twelve-year-old boy has managed to get himself stuck in seurat’s Le Cirque.
it is far from their first trip into this particular painting, but this time, there is an added complication resulting in hijinks, humor, champagne and burlesque.
it’s just… fun. there’s a little art history, some flirtatious banter between our heroes, and a mischievous kid who is surprisingly untedious.
it's charm for days, and it warmed me to my usually charm-averse core.
read it for yourself here:
http://www.tor.com/2013/04/23/do-not-...
come to my blog!
September 29, 2021
Lane works at a museum and is responsible for missing kids. This is no ordinary hiding like hiding in the stairwell but actually missing by disappearing into one of the paintings at the museum. It happens when people, more specifically, kids touch the paintings and fall into them.
One day, a kid goes into the painting that happens to be in the 1890s France. Lane along with his colleague, Eugenie end up going after the kid and eventually find him at the Moulin Rouge.
It was a good concept and a lovely little story but I found myself getting bored in the middle and I also didn't really care about Lane and Eugenie's romance as that had not build up.
3 stars
One day, a kid goes into the painting that happens to be in the 1890s France. Lane along with his colleague, Eugenie end up going after the kid and eventually find him at the Moulin Rouge.
It was a good concept and a lovely little story but I found myself getting bored in the middle and I also didn't really care about Lane and Eugenie's romance as that had not build up.
3 stars
December 17, 2016
#13 in personal short story challenge. Story found on tor.com.
What's not to like? A portal fantasy, French Impressionism, and a circus.
The setting is an art museum with paintings you're not supposed to touch. No, really, you're really not supposed to touch these paintings.
I don't know why this line made me laugh: "All right, Al Capone,” Eugenie says pleasantly, hustling him along the wall and toward the exit to the street, “let’s just get home first and you can plot your brilliant career as a criminal mastermind during the small eternity you’re going to be grounded.”
What's not to like? A portal fantasy, French Impressionism, and a circus.
The setting is an art museum with paintings you're not supposed to touch. No, really, you're really not supposed to touch these paintings.
I don't know why this line made me laugh: "All right, Al Capone,” Eugenie says pleasantly, hustling him along the wall and toward the exit to the street, “let’s just get home first and you can plot your brilliant career as a criminal mastermind during the small eternity you’re going to be grounded.”
April 15, 2018
These Tor.com stories are so well-written and so much freakin’ fun!
March 5, 2017
This was a lovely, beautifully executed short story, exploring the idea of being literally pulled into famous paintings.
The museum where the plot unfolds has a generous collection: Dali, van Gogh, impressionist works. Somehow, some of these precious paintings allow people in; others seem to drag people into themselves. And once in the painting, the visitor experiences not only the events depicted therein, but also the mood of the artist as he created the work, his fears and insecurities and the like. So neat!
What a SMART idea for a story. I urge you to take the few minutes to read it for yourself! It's free on Tor.com. ;0)
(As always, thanks to Karen for making me aware of this gem. A direct link to it may be found at her review--some cool artwork from the short story, too!)
The museum where the plot unfolds has a generous collection: Dali, van Gogh, impressionist works. Somehow, some of these precious paintings allow people in; others seem to drag people into themselves. And once in the painting, the visitor experiences not only the events depicted therein, but also the mood of the artist as he created the work, his fears and insecurities and the like. So neat!
What a SMART idea for a story. I urge you to take the few minutes to read it for yourself! It's free on Tor.com. ;0)
(As always, thanks to Karen for making me aware of this gem. A direct link to it may be found at her review--some cool artwork from the short story, too!)
December 31, 2022
Another decent short story. 3 ⭐.
June 27, 2013
Do Not Touch is for people who...
...enjoy stand alone short stories
...have always been suspicious of paintings in museums
...like subtle romances
...have always wanted to travel back in time
...like French, France, and Moulin Rouge
...have neon blue panties
...have wondered "What if?"
Do Not Touch was a free book I read on Tor's website on June 26, 2013 for the Why Buy the Cow? reading challenge.
...enjoy stand alone short stories
...have always been suspicious of paintings in museums
...like subtle romances
...have always wanted to travel back in time
...like French, France, and Moulin Rouge
...have neon blue panties
...have wondered "What if?"
Do Not Touch was a free book I read on Tor's website on June 26, 2013 for the Why Buy the Cow? reading challenge.
March 7, 2020
But just like the paint retains Dalí’s melting clocks and bleak red-cliff landscapes or the frenetic mix of batshittery that is Bosch’s three-panel opus, it also keeps feelings, a pervasive mood. Nothing is so beautiful and depressing as tumbling into a Van Gogh, because the colors are searing and the sun is ambrosial, and everything around you is convinced of its abject failure, every painting is a desperate bid for relevance and the bitter knowledge of likely disappointment.wow, really going for the knees there. ouch. the concept of falling through paintings into a world that contains both the imagery and the emotional depth of the artist is? amazing? great? and somehow kind of reminiscent of super mario 64.
Lane does a lot of emotional eating after the Van Goghs.
April 24, 2013
Short Story. Lane works in a museum. When visitors go missing and can't be found in the building, it's his job to retrieve them. From the paintings they fell into.
Interesting premise, likable characters, humor, romance, colorful world-building, and even some light art history. Recommended.
Read it for free at Tor.com.
Interesting premise, likable characters, humor, romance, colorful world-building, and even some light art history. Recommended.
Read it for free at Tor.com.
November 8, 2016
A very fun, very polished short story about adventures in art (literally). Clever humorous writing blends with some pretty astute observations about artists in this whimsical Alice-in-Wonderland-like tale.
March 12, 2017
Absolutely fantastic. Uses a simple premise to open up a window to a world where any painting can in turn transport you - but beware, because paintings have feelings, and most art doesn't spring from a blissful and pain-free existence.
November 23, 2016
Fourteen years ago, I took seven six-year old cub scouts to the Frist Center for the Visual Arts in Nashville, TN. In a rare moment of solitude, I reached out and touched the brush strokes of one of the paintings. That day will be forever remembered by my little gang of Cub Scouts as the day "Aunt Badseed" was yelled at by a docent at the Frist. Only one person got in trouble while at the museum and it was me. And guess what, I regret nothing because this is the same museum which forced me to explain to a six-year old boy why a dress made out of dried pig intestines is considered art!
So I total get and understand the concept behind this story. To this day I still get a little thrill when I remember the feel of that painting, the texture is etched in my memory and always will be.
So I total get and understand the concept behind this story. To this day I still get a little thrill when I remember the feel of that painting, the texture is etched in my memory and always will be.
June 10, 2018
It was okay.
Was gonna rate it 3 stars but... I didn't exactly like it. And I don't know why, to be honest; because the concept is cool, the writing isn't bad... I just... I don't know, I found myself... bored?
But I don't know why, really. Probably I wasn't in the mood? I don't know.
It was okay, though! So I'd say give it a shot if you're interested.
Was gonna rate it 3 stars but... I didn't exactly like it. And I don't know why, to be honest; because the concept is cool, the writing isn't bad... I just... I don't know, I found myself... bored?
But I don't know why, really. Probably I wasn't in the mood? I don't know.
It was okay, though! So I'd say give it a shot if you're interested.
June 3, 2017
I want more!
May 5, 2018
A sweet, beautiful story. You can picture every scene in your head, and almost hear their voices. I looked up each painting as I was reading.
October 28, 2018
This is a short story, available on the web at Tor.com. A really cute little piece with a simple but fun fantasy at its core. It's enough to make me hunt out other works by this author.
September 9, 2018
3.5 stars
This lighthearted and delightful short story imagines a world where paintings and art are not just gazed upon and appreciated but acts as portals to another world. I liked the writing and the concept. Science fiction can be heavy but this leaned more towards adventure.
This lighthearted and delightful short story imagines a world where paintings and art are not just gazed upon and appreciated but acts as portals to another world. I liked the writing and the concept. Science fiction can be heavy but this leaned more towards adventure.
February 12, 2017
This is a short story about a guy who works in a museum, and has to go into paintings occasionally to retrieve kids who have fallen into them. I was really impressed at the depth the author managed to get into so few pages, and I really liked the characters and concept. This is free to read on tor.com if you Google.
February 14, 2015
Another Tor.com short story
Liked this one, the characterization was perfect and the premise was interesting, if not very original.
Liked this one, the characterization was perfect and the premise was interesting, if not very original.
December 31, 2013
This was just a perfect short sci-fantasy story; I laughed, I clutched my pearls, I wished I was inside a Seurat painting. Just lovely, one of the more delightful things I read this year.
December 24, 2013
Slipping into paintings? There is good novel potential here, I think. Great story, too short.
October 16, 2016
What if some paintings were actually doors... This is amusing and well written.
September 14, 2016
this was so cool oh my god i love the concept and the writing ahhh
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews