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The Year I Met My Brain: A travel companion for adults who have just found out they have ADHD
Matilda Boseley’s adult ADHD diagnosis was a massive, earth-shattering event. She was given a prescription but had no idea what ADHD meant for her identity, her relationships or her future.
Twelve months of confusion later, journalist Matilda embarked on an epic voyage to figure out what’s really happening in the stormy seas of the ADHD brain and write the guide she wished she’d had.
The Year I Met My Brain is the ultimate travel companion for navigating and enjoying life as an ADHD adult,
- what adult ADHD symptoms look like
- why so many ADHDers (especially females) are missed as kids
- how the disorder impacts our relationships, careers and self-esteem
- why we unfairly treat ourselves like failures – and how to find self-forgiveness and healing
- practical tips for social and organisational wins
- and, most importantly, how to make our lives work to fit our brains rather than trying to force our brains to fit our lives.
Uplifting, empowering, deeply researched and sparkling with 'a-ha' moments, The Year I Met My Brain is an invaluable resource for ADHDers and those who love them.
Twelve months of confusion later, journalist Matilda embarked on an epic voyage to figure out what’s really happening in the stormy seas of the ADHD brain and write the guide she wished she’d had.
The Year I Met My Brain is the ultimate travel companion for navigating and enjoying life as an ADHD adult,
- what adult ADHD symptoms look like
- why so many ADHDers (especially females) are missed as kids
- how the disorder impacts our relationships, careers and self-esteem
- why we unfairly treat ourselves like failures – and how to find self-forgiveness and healing
- practical tips for social and organisational wins
- and, most importantly, how to make our lives work to fit our brains rather than trying to force our brains to fit our lives.
Uplifting, empowering, deeply researched and sparkling with 'a-ha' moments, The Year I Met My Brain is an invaluable resource for ADHDers and those who love them.
433 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 3, 2023
690 people are currently reading
9235 people want to read
About the author
Matilda Boseley
4 books37 followersMatilda Boseley is an award-winning social media reporter and presenter for Guardian Australia. She has spearheaded the publication’s popular TikTok channel where she writes and hosts their short-form news explainers. Her work on the platform has won her a Quill Award for Innovation in Journalism and was nominated for a Walkley Award for the same category. Named Walkley Awards’ 2019 Student Journalist of the Year, Matilda has also worked as a reporter and assistant chief of staff at 7 News Melbourne and as a breaking news reporter for The Age newspaper. She regularly reports on issues affecting young people, women and mental health and her first book, The Year I Met My Brain, documents her experiences and discoveries after being diagnosed with ADHD at 23 and investigates the hidden prevalence and costs of ADHD among adults.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 357 reviews
January 29, 2024
I’d make an adjustment to this title to “for *young* adults who have just found out they have ADHD”. This is a book written by a young adult who watched TikTok videos about ADHD, found that they resonated with her own experience, and went to a psychiatrist who confirmed the diagnosis. On that, Matilda, I’m so sorry that you had the experience you did with that psychiatrist. It is unacceptable, but sadly not that uncommon, for people to experience the coldness and rudeness that you did from that psychiatrist.
Whilst the book is conversational and uses research to back up opinions, there are some fundamental issues that I think need to be considered.
I did wonder if the research described in the book was chosen to align with the author’s pre-existing views, as there are some glaring omissions that are glossed over - eg the impact of smart devices and social media on focus and attention span. Effectively the author reduces this to “it’s not an issue because I don’t think it is one”. (I wonder if the reluctance to explore this issue has something to do with the author being a journalist who makes social media content for the Guardian?) Dissenting views are met with disdain if not contempt (not just through the choice of written word but in the tone of the author’s voice reading the audiobook). This frames the book not as an exploration of the condition from a neutral standpoint, but as a book firmly couched in the “ADHD is a massively under diagnosed condition and anyone who has anything negative to say about it or who wants to apply critical thinking to this is actually an arsehole who should be cancelled” camp.
On a broader note, I am concerned that the author believes that there are humans out there who find life easy, who go about their day with nary a moment’s hesitation about sitting down to do hard or boring stuff. If these people exist, I am yet to met them. It is also concerning that getting lost in an enjoyable and appropriately challenging activity has been pathologised as hyperfocus rather than “flow” (Csikszentmihalyi). I also find it disheartening that the author lists things like “forgetting hidden vegetables in the fridge/clothes in the wardrobe”, “feeling exhausted at the end of a work day” and “half finished craft projects” in amongst others as examples of ADHD. Is this an overreach? Surely this not exclusive to those with ADHD? Do we need a diagnosis in order to practice self compassion?
And yes, you need to get a diagnosis from a psychiatrist. However, is there a risk that a book like this, which categorizes many instances of what is likely within the normal range of human experience as part of ADHD, could lead a significant number of readers to self-diagnose with ADHD after finishing the book?
Whilst I don’t doubt that some people have a greater degree of challenge in areas of executive functioning etc than others on a bell curve of human experience, and that these people will benefit from greater support, skills +/- medication if appropriate, it’s worth bearing in mind that ADHD is a clinical diagnosis (that is via self report in a clinical interview etc, rather than via blood tests/brain scans etc). Therefore there is likely to be a degree of subjectivity to the diagnosis. This goes both ways - there may be people who do get a diagnosis going to one psychiatrist who may not get the same diagnosis if they had seen another, and vice versa. As Matilda points out, there are many things that can produce similar symptoms to ADHD - eg trauma, anxiety. It’s worth noting that although it may be that there have been shown to be observable brain differences on scans in those with ADHD symptoms (as mentioned in the book), at present scans are not part of the diagnostic process. In addition, it’s worth remembering that the DSM V is a flawed tool (earlier iterations of the DSM listed homosexuality as a mental disorder until 1974!) (DSM - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).
It will be interesting to observe the evolution of ADHD diagnosis and treatment over the next few decades.
Whilst the book is conversational and uses research to back up opinions, there are some fundamental issues that I think need to be considered.
I did wonder if the research described in the book was chosen to align with the author’s pre-existing views, as there are some glaring omissions that are glossed over - eg the impact of smart devices and social media on focus and attention span. Effectively the author reduces this to “it’s not an issue because I don’t think it is one”. (I wonder if the reluctance to explore this issue has something to do with the author being a journalist who makes social media content for the Guardian?) Dissenting views are met with disdain if not contempt (not just through the choice of written word but in the tone of the author’s voice reading the audiobook). This frames the book not as an exploration of the condition from a neutral standpoint, but as a book firmly couched in the “ADHD is a massively under diagnosed condition and anyone who has anything negative to say about it or who wants to apply critical thinking to this is actually an arsehole who should be cancelled” camp.
On a broader note, I am concerned that the author believes that there are humans out there who find life easy, who go about their day with nary a moment’s hesitation about sitting down to do hard or boring stuff. If these people exist, I am yet to met them. It is also concerning that getting lost in an enjoyable and appropriately challenging activity has been pathologised as hyperfocus rather than “flow” (Csikszentmihalyi). I also find it disheartening that the author lists things like “forgetting hidden vegetables in the fridge/clothes in the wardrobe”, “feeling exhausted at the end of a work day” and “half finished craft projects” in amongst others as examples of ADHD. Is this an overreach? Surely this not exclusive to those with ADHD? Do we need a diagnosis in order to practice self compassion?
And yes, you need to get a diagnosis from a psychiatrist. However, is there a risk that a book like this, which categorizes many instances of what is likely within the normal range of human experience as part of ADHD, could lead a significant number of readers to self-diagnose with ADHD after finishing the book?
Whilst I don’t doubt that some people have a greater degree of challenge in areas of executive functioning etc than others on a bell curve of human experience, and that these people will benefit from greater support, skills +/- medication if appropriate, it’s worth bearing in mind that ADHD is a clinical diagnosis (that is via self report in a clinical interview etc, rather than via blood tests/brain scans etc). Therefore there is likely to be a degree of subjectivity to the diagnosis. This goes both ways - there may be people who do get a diagnosis going to one psychiatrist who may not get the same diagnosis if they had seen another, and vice versa. As Matilda points out, there are many things that can produce similar symptoms to ADHD - eg trauma, anxiety. It’s worth noting that although it may be that there have been shown to be observable brain differences on scans in those with ADHD symptoms (as mentioned in the book), at present scans are not part of the diagnostic process. In addition, it’s worth remembering that the DSM V is a flawed tool (earlier iterations of the DSM listed homosexuality as a mental disorder until 1974!) (DSM - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).
It will be interesting to observe the evolution of ADHD diagnosis and treatment over the next few decades.
October 17, 2023
I was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago at 45. Since then I’ve been looking for a book to help me understand the condition, how to navigate it and how to explain it to others. Nothing has been quite right until now. This is it, this is the book we’ve been waiting for.
The Year I Met My Brain is brilliantly researched and explained in easily accessible language. I also I loved Matilda’s analogy’s (my adhd kids and I have already adopted ‘Ethel’ as a way of talking about our ADHD brains).
But the thing I loved most was the way Matilda weaved in her own experience of ADHD in her highly relatable diary entries.
I listened to the audiobook, but found it so interesting and helpful that I went out and bought a hard copy too so that I could mark the bits I might refer back to - I’ve marked a LOT of pages.
The Year I Met My Brain is brilliantly researched and explained in easily accessible language. I also I loved Matilda’s analogy’s (my adhd kids and I have already adopted ‘Ethel’ as a way of talking about our ADHD brains).
But the thing I loved most was the way Matilda weaved in her own experience of ADHD in her highly relatable diary entries.
I listened to the audiobook, but found it so interesting and helpful that I went out and bought a hard copy too so that I could mark the bits I might refer back to - I’ve marked a LOT of pages.
October 20, 2023
As a person with ADHD and a primary school teacher, I absolutely adored this book. I laughed along with Matilda’s stories as I also have so many equally embarrassing ones and throughly enjoyed saying ‘hahaha omg I do this too!’ for most of the book. As a teacher, this book made me feel more equipped to broach difficult conversations with parents of the kids I teach about beginning the diagnosis process. I also feel significantly more informed about how to assist my ADHD students. I’m 90% sure it should have counted as professional development hours and that I should be able to claim it on tax. Thank you Matilda for letting us into your brain as it help me to learn so much more about mine.
November 30, 2023
Matilda Bosely is IN MY HEAD! Felt like my $450 roller skating impulse purchase was DIRECTLY attacked! This was literally so perfect and validating and I am very grateful to understand a bit more about my brain!
May 18, 2024
It’s written by a 23 year old and MY GOD you can tell. The juvenility is palpable. Not quite the adult book it promises to be. More like a memoir spliced with the most basic information.
March 15, 2024
Yeah okay fine, I'll make a doctor's appointment ...
...eventually
...eventually
December 9, 2023
SO VALIDATING, IM SO GLAD I READ THIS
At 26 I have just been diagnosed with ADHD. The constant self doubt of 'do I actually have this'? didn't even stop after I got diagnosed. This book makes me feel SEEN. It's evidence based, and written in an approachable way. I think its an essential read for ADHD'rs even when you already know all the symptoms. I also think this will be very useful for friends and family of ADHDR's. Im hoping my mum will read it, as she doesn't believe my diagnosis. I enjoyed the highlights on biases on gender and race and even adult versus children. The research is still kind of in its infancy.
Takeaways;
- THIS IS ME TOO (especially as a kid) "I had a bad habit of thinking about my life inn terms of a movie or tv series, organising events into scenes, turning people into character archetypes and viewing traumatic moments as climaxes". I can distinctly remember expecting friends conversations to be carried out word for word like some scenes in movies.
- ADHD cause is inconclusive still but experts pretty sure its combination of/accumulation of genetic and environmental factors.
- There are so many gaps in research because historically it was thought only children could have it. The data we do have suggests 50% of families with ADHD child will have at least one ADHD parent. But again issues of under diagnosis warp stats.
- In adulthood the hyperactive part of ADHD tends to present as constant inner restlessness
- hyperactive/impulsive types linked with peer rejection, risky driving and accidentally injuring yourself. MEEEEEE, I only have one limb I haven't broken in the past 2-3 years.
- people can and often change presentations over course of life (Hyperactive/impulsive, inattentive, and combined) pretty sure I've got combined
- ON SLEEP AS A CHILD (again, me 100%) " warning signs; your child constantly popping out of bed to ask for another glass of water, one last hug, or sleep in big bed with you" "I would toss and turn filled with pure boredom that felt close to physical pain" - this is still me. As a kid id beg mum to sleep with me so I had someone to talk to
- MORE ON SLEEP; moving excessively during sleep was a DSM diagnostic criteria in the 80's, 85% of ADHD adults report excessive sleepiness during the day, poorer quality of sleep, more trouble drifting off and waking up more in night. ME AGAIN
- ON MENSTRUATION; "Oestrogen is mostly in ovaries but also produced by brain, its known to affect cognitive ability and functioning of dopamine, therefore mentrual cycles have been found to impact levels of attention, impulsivity, memory, mood regulation and executive functioning" basically your cycle makes your ADHD symptoms worse, because ADHD and dopamine are so closely linked. I can definitely attest to this.
- Anxiety is the most common comorbidity as well as depression , 44.7% of ADHD adults have anxiety verses 4.9 % without.
-"We call ourselves failures because our brains are filled with all these passions and ideas and ambitions, but for some reason we can't make our actions match our abilities" ME
- I RELATE TO THIS SO HARD and it had me CONNECTING THE DOTS;
" it felt like I had this secret, that I was actually a really dumb person, and I could never let people find out, I think that manifested into, okay ill do really well at other subjects at school and then I can say well I'm a layer" She's referring to being bad at maths (again me). I think I tried so hard at school to prove my worth, to show I wasn't lazy.
- ON DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BOYS + GIRLS; Hyperactive girls might be more emotional- with ecstatic bursts of joy, tendency to dissolve into uncontrollable tears,struggling to control the impulse to interrupt - ALL ME
- Girls tend to internalise rather than externalise, so instead of a boy who might say I failed the test because its dumb, a girl would say I'm so stupid that's why I failed = crippling self esteem
- We do not have a culturally neutral system of health are for ADHD. its based on western medical models, white adults treating white kids. Important to remember this..
- ADHD people 50% more likely to suffer accidental injuries - me!
- ON REJECTION SENSITIVE DISORDER (not a clinical or diagnostic term yet) still helpful to describe experiences. Around a third of ADHD teens and adults find RSD most impairing aspect of condition.
- ADHD PARALYSIS (not a clinical or diagnostic term yet) I experience this constantly. I remember my part time job in uni was 5pm-9pm, yeah I couldn't do anything that day because I had work later; "when you have a task or activity scheduled later in the day and find brain goes into a holding pattern, unable to focus or get anything done until then".
- These loose cultural terms are becoming more mainstream, although not scientific I'm finding them incredibly useful, something tangible that I can say THATS ME TOO. Hopefully these new terms that are super popular on socials will motivate researchers to look into them.
ON RECEIVING DIAGNOSIS;
- "It's hard to describe how destabilising it can feel to realise that the core. of who you are- elements of your personality that you love and cherish are proud of - are actually, symptoms"
- "After years of swimming in trauma and shame, its only natural that we would be suspicious of a life raft appearing out of the blue that allows us to forgive ourselves. Self-forgiveness is probably a brand new concept"
"ADHD doesn't invent new problems, it just exacerbates universal ones"
ON STIMULANT MED STIGMA
- parents are scared so lots of kids miss out
- one psych says "I wish stimulant meds were a bit addictive, so my patients would remember to take them. They don't wake up craving them, and they don't get significant withdrawal symptoms from stopping them"
- A large-scale Swedish study showed that those on ADHD stim meds were 31% less likely to have a substance abuse disorder
- There's a tension between the concept of ADHD the medical disorder and ADHD the identity.
At 26 I have just been diagnosed with ADHD. The constant self doubt of 'do I actually have this'? didn't even stop after I got diagnosed. This book makes me feel SEEN. It's evidence based, and written in an approachable way. I think its an essential read for ADHD'rs even when you already know all the symptoms. I also think this will be very useful for friends and family of ADHDR's. Im hoping my mum will read it, as she doesn't believe my diagnosis. I enjoyed the highlights on biases on gender and race and even adult versus children. The research is still kind of in its infancy.
Takeaways;
- THIS IS ME TOO (especially as a kid) "I had a bad habit of thinking about my life inn terms of a movie or tv series, organising events into scenes, turning people into character archetypes and viewing traumatic moments as climaxes". I can distinctly remember expecting friends conversations to be carried out word for word like some scenes in movies.
- ADHD cause is inconclusive still but experts pretty sure its combination of/accumulation of genetic and environmental factors.
- There are so many gaps in research because historically it was thought only children could have it. The data we do have suggests 50% of families with ADHD child will have at least one ADHD parent. But again issues of under diagnosis warp stats.
- In adulthood the hyperactive part of ADHD tends to present as constant inner restlessness
- hyperactive/impulsive types linked with peer rejection, risky driving and accidentally injuring yourself. MEEEEEE, I only have one limb I haven't broken in the past 2-3 years.
- people can and often change presentations over course of life (Hyperactive/impulsive, inattentive, and combined) pretty sure I've got combined
- ON SLEEP AS A CHILD (again, me 100%) " warning signs; your child constantly popping out of bed to ask for another glass of water, one last hug, or sleep in big bed with you" "I would toss and turn filled with pure boredom that felt close to physical pain" - this is still me. As a kid id beg mum to sleep with me so I had someone to talk to
- MORE ON SLEEP; moving excessively during sleep was a DSM diagnostic criteria in the 80's, 85% of ADHD adults report excessive sleepiness during the day, poorer quality of sleep, more trouble drifting off and waking up more in night. ME AGAIN
- ON MENSTRUATION; "Oestrogen is mostly in ovaries but also produced by brain, its known to affect cognitive ability and functioning of dopamine, therefore mentrual cycles have been found to impact levels of attention, impulsivity, memory, mood regulation and executive functioning" basically your cycle makes your ADHD symptoms worse, because ADHD and dopamine are so closely linked. I can definitely attest to this.
- Anxiety is the most common comorbidity as well as depression , 44.7% of ADHD adults have anxiety verses 4.9 % without.
-"We call ourselves failures because our brains are filled with all these passions and ideas and ambitions, but for some reason we can't make our actions match our abilities" ME
- I RELATE TO THIS SO HARD and it had me CONNECTING THE DOTS;
" it felt like I had this secret, that I was actually a really dumb person, and I could never let people find out, I think that manifested into, okay ill do really well at other subjects at school and then I can say well I'm a layer" She's referring to being bad at maths (again me). I think I tried so hard at school to prove my worth, to show I wasn't lazy.
- ON DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BOYS + GIRLS; Hyperactive girls might be more emotional- with ecstatic bursts of joy, tendency to dissolve into uncontrollable tears,struggling to control the impulse to interrupt - ALL ME
- Girls tend to internalise rather than externalise, so instead of a boy who might say I failed the test because its dumb, a girl would say I'm so stupid that's why I failed = crippling self esteem
- We do not have a culturally neutral system of health are for ADHD. its based on western medical models, white adults treating white kids. Important to remember this..
- ADHD people 50% more likely to suffer accidental injuries - me!
- ON REJECTION SENSITIVE DISORDER (not a clinical or diagnostic term yet) still helpful to describe experiences. Around a third of ADHD teens and adults find RSD most impairing aspect of condition.
- ADHD PARALYSIS (not a clinical or diagnostic term yet) I experience this constantly. I remember my part time job in uni was 5pm-9pm, yeah I couldn't do anything that day because I had work later; "when you have a task or activity scheduled later in the day and find brain goes into a holding pattern, unable to focus or get anything done until then".
- These loose cultural terms are becoming more mainstream, although not scientific I'm finding them incredibly useful, something tangible that I can say THATS ME TOO. Hopefully these new terms that are super popular on socials will motivate researchers to look into them.
ON RECEIVING DIAGNOSIS;
- "It's hard to describe how destabilising it can feel to realise that the core. of who you are- elements of your personality that you love and cherish are proud of - are actually, symptoms"
- "After years of swimming in trauma and shame, its only natural that we would be suspicious of a life raft appearing out of the blue that allows us to forgive ourselves. Self-forgiveness is probably a brand new concept"
"ADHD doesn't invent new problems, it just exacerbates universal ones"
ON STIMULANT MED STIGMA
- parents are scared so lots of kids miss out
- one psych says "I wish stimulant meds were a bit addictive, so my patients would remember to take them. They don't wake up craving them, and they don't get significant withdrawal symptoms from stopping them"
- A large-scale Swedish study showed that those on ADHD stim meds were 31% less likely to have a substance abuse disorder
- There's a tension between the concept of ADHD the medical disorder and ADHD the identity.
November 27, 2023
Some parts are untenably woke - please let's not get into the problems of black inner city kids in the US when you are Australian, let's not bring prisons, sexism, racism, politics into it, and for the love of all the gods please don't say that "people who went through a 'female' puberty get pregnant"(sic). (Yes, female with inverted commas. What are words for??)
I'm happy 'just' to hear about ADHD and not go down 25 rabbit holes.
I found the author very self absorbed, but oh well, early 20s.
Otherwise, a good repository of up to date info about ADHD.
I'm happy 'just' to hear about ADHD and not go down 25 rabbit holes.
I found the author very self absorbed, but oh well, early 20s.
Otherwise, a good repository of up to date info about ADHD.
November 8, 2023
As a woman who for diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 30, this book resonated with me on such a deep level. Boseley does such a fantastic job at describing what it’s like to live with ADHD while simultaneously drawing all the research, facts, and nuances. I felt so seen and validated throughout the entire book.
July 19, 2024
4.5 stars I guess, I'm really not sure how to rate non fiction reads. I guess I was extremely engaged while listening to this audiobook and I always love when authors narrate their own work.
For the record I do not have a formal diagnosis but I did heavily relate to a lot of social media content being like "these 5 signs you might have ADHD" so the algorithm thinks I do. I have a sneaking suspicion I might or might have something related, brain chemistry is a fun thing.
Anyway contrary to the title this book isn't just for people who have a formal diagnosis, but for anyone who thinks they might have or are curious and for those whose loved ones and friends may have recently gotten a diagnosis.
Its incredibly well written, informative and engaging, with some wonderful artwork in the attached PDF. Actually you know what 5 stars simply for the last airbender reference of Ba Sing S-ADHD.
For the record I do not have a formal diagnosis but I did heavily relate to a lot of social media content being like "these 5 signs you might have ADHD" so the algorithm thinks I do. I have a sneaking suspicion I might or might have something related, brain chemistry is a fun thing.
Anyway contrary to the title this book isn't just for people who have a formal diagnosis, but for anyone who thinks they might have or are curious and for those whose loved ones and friends may have recently gotten a diagnosis.
Its incredibly well written, informative and engaging, with some wonderful artwork in the attached PDF. Actually you know what 5 stars simply for the last airbender reference of Ba Sing S-ADHD.
April 20, 2024
Being a woman in her late thirties that got diagnosed with ADHD a couple of years ago after a year of suspiciously relatable TikTok videos I did find this book very relatable. Often it was as if author, Matilda Boseley, was giving a voice to experiences I had had but never was able to describe to others.
October 16, 2023
Absolutely wonderful, thoughtful, immaculately researched, engaging, insightful, reaffirming and validating. I devoured it. Thanks for helping to explain my brain.
May 27, 2024
An important read. If you have ADHD, know someone who does or you just don’t know enough about it, I highly recommend this one!!
May 13, 2024
Almost a year after my ADHD diagnosis, I happened upon this book. It is a well-researched, educational handbook-cross-memoir that is so needed. I’ve asked my husband to read it to help him understand my brain better and also recommended it to my family who are suspected/diagnosed ADHD.
While there was nothing ground breaking in here that I didn’t already know (but I’m an educational psychologist so admit I probably know more than the average adult-diagnosed ADHDer), that is reassuring in itself. I think there can only be good things to come of more and more non-male and adult insights into ADHD.
The definition and explanatory chapters about ADHD is well-written and accurate. I’m glad that Boseley included information in neurodiversity affirming language, addressed the medical disorder vs social disability conversation, explained that phrases such as “object permanence” and “rejection-sensitive dysphoria” are not actually research-backed terms related to ADHD, and articulated the issue with the diagnostic criteria for women and adults.
Over the year, I have questioned myself, my doctor, and my symptoms and have felt invalidated and lost as often as I have felt relieved and understood. Thankfully, Boseley wrote a whole chapter on just that and wow, do I feel seen. Even the section titled “what’s me and what’s the ADHD?” addressed a question I have been wondering quite a lot.
I enjoyed the little diary entries that were glimpses into Boseley’s childhood and adulthood, some so vastly different from anything I’ve done and some that really rang true! It just goes to show the variety in ADHD presentations and quietened some of the naysaying voices in my brain.
Given the references to higher rates of addiction mentioned so often, I would have liked to see more information about just how social media is a dopamine trap for ADHDers, how it can become an addiction, and for one of the strategies to manage ADHD symptoms involve some kind of screen time adjustments or management, but I can see how that wouldn’t be in the best interests of a TikTok influencer…
And my favourite line: “The good news is, there are actually ways to [make living with ADHD less exhausting]. The bad news is, they are going to therapy, eating healthily, getting enough sleep and exercising regularly.
I know. I was fucking devastated when I found out too.”
While there was nothing ground breaking in here that I didn’t already know (but I’m an educational psychologist so admit I probably know more than the average adult-diagnosed ADHDer), that is reassuring in itself. I think there can only be good things to come of more and more non-male and adult insights into ADHD.
The definition and explanatory chapters about ADHD is well-written and accurate. I’m glad that Boseley included information in neurodiversity affirming language, addressed the medical disorder vs social disability conversation, explained that phrases such as “object permanence” and “rejection-sensitive dysphoria” are not actually research-backed terms related to ADHD, and articulated the issue with the diagnostic criteria for women and adults.
Over the year, I have questioned myself, my doctor, and my symptoms and have felt invalidated and lost as often as I have felt relieved and understood. Thankfully, Boseley wrote a whole chapter on just that and wow, do I feel seen. Even the section titled “what’s me and what’s the ADHD?” addressed a question I have been wondering quite a lot.
I enjoyed the little diary entries that were glimpses into Boseley’s childhood and adulthood, some so vastly different from anything I’ve done and some that really rang true! It just goes to show the variety in ADHD presentations and quietened some of the naysaying voices in my brain.
Given the references to higher rates of addiction mentioned so often, I would have liked to see more information about just how social media is a dopamine trap for ADHDers, how it can become an addiction, and for one of the strategies to manage ADHD symptoms involve some kind of screen time adjustments or management, but I can see how that wouldn’t be in the best interests of a TikTok influencer…
And my favourite line: “The good news is, there are actually ways to [make living with ADHD less exhausting]. The bad news is, they are going to therapy, eating healthily, getting enough sleep and exercising regularly.
I know. I was fucking devastated when I found out too.”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 16, 2024
Thank you Matilda for writing this book. Amazing. I laughed and cried with you. Well researched and a good mix of anecdotal vs factual. This is an Incredibly important read for anyone who knows someone in their life with ADHD or is someone with ADHD.
July 1, 2024
prob really good if this is your first exposure to the topic or you dont believe in adhd (@john macarthur)
i feel mean but i just found the anecdotes kind of annoying but i liked the emphasis on taking responsibility without being ridden by shame (@john macarthur)
i feel mean but i just found the anecdotes kind of annoying but i liked the emphasis on taking responsibility without being ridden by shame (@john macarthur)
October 27, 2025
Am I an adult who just found out she has ADHD? No.
Am I an adult who thinks she has ADHD? Yes
After reading this, am I an adult who thinks she should get professionally diagnosed? Yes
Am I an adult who would schedule an appointment for the diagnosis? If I remember
This was an interesting read. The author broke down ADHD in simple pieces for us to understand. She explained a lot through her own journey which made it seem real and authentic. She also mentioned how she wasn't doing well for a lot of things and that honesty made me believe in her even more.
When she mentioned the part about maintaining relationships, man I felt seen. In school college your friends know you for like 12 years and more so they flagged this aloofness of mine as being me (thank you guys). But that's not the case for friendships in uni. I related to a lot of what she said and I genuinely think I should get tested specifically for that part.
Also, I read this as an audiobook, where the narrator spoke in Aussie accent. That made me enjoy the book even more XD. In my head, Aussie accent sounds like a baby of American and British accent, it has the elegance of British accent the casualty of American one.
All in all, get tested if you think you adhd and then read this.
Am I an adult who thinks she has ADHD? Yes
After reading this, am I an adult who thinks she should get professionally diagnosed? Yes
Am I an adult who would schedule an appointment for the diagnosis? If I remember
This was an interesting read. The author broke down ADHD in simple pieces for us to understand. She explained a lot through her own journey which made it seem real and authentic. She also mentioned how she wasn't doing well for a lot of things and that honesty made me believe in her even more.
When she mentioned the part about maintaining relationships, man I felt seen. In school college your friends know you for like 12 years and more so they flagged this aloofness of mine as being me (thank you guys). But that's not the case for friendships in uni. I related to a lot of what she said and I genuinely think I should get tested specifically for that part.
Also, I read this as an audiobook, where the narrator spoke in Aussie accent. That made me enjoy the book even more XD. In my head, Aussie accent sounds like a baby of American and British accent, it has the elegance of British accent the casualty of American one.
All in all, get tested if you think you adhd and then read this.
July 10, 2024
I found this incredibly helpful and relatable, for so many reasons. I'm so glad I have it on my Kindle to allow highlighting! Because there's no way I'd be caught dead highlighting an actual book, omg (if you do that, best not to tell me because I can't promise I won't judge you). I highlighted so much.
Highly recommend it for anyone who has or thinks they have ADHD, for anyone who knows someone with ADHD, for anyone working with anyone who has ADHD or might have ADHD, for anyone interested in neuroatypical brains. Pretty much anyone and everyone could benefit in some way from reading this. 👍🏽
Highly recommend it for anyone who has or thinks they have ADHD, for anyone who knows someone with ADHD, for anyone working with anyone who has ADHD or might have ADHD, for anyone interested in neuroatypical brains. Pretty much anyone and everyone could benefit in some way from reading this. 👍🏽
July 29, 2024
4.5⭐️ this is a really engaging and interesting book that is very informative about ADHD. I’m now going to have to try and get my whole family to read it because boy oh boy does this explain a lot
June 20, 2024
I think this is easily one of the most important books I will ever read. Grappling with my own neurodivergence as a female who was diagnosed later in life has been emotionally turbulent. In the wake of my evaluation I'd done some other reading on the disorder, more focused on the underlying neurocognitive abnormalities. Turns out what I really needed was to hear from someone who shares those abnormalities, discovered them on a timeline similar to mine, and is living proof that acceptance can be found, both internally and externally. Matilda's journalism background (and genetic predisposition toward hyperfixations) means that this work was meticulously researched. This book is the perfect primer for anyone seeking to meet their "ocean brain" for the first time. And with approximately 2.8% of the adult global population living with ADHD, it's comforting to know that there are others afloat. Thank you, Matilda, for providing us this brilliant life raft.
November 13, 2024
4.5 stars
Highly recommend reading this if you are newly diagnosed, looking to get diagnosed and/or are on the fence about taking medication for ADHD. I really liked all the research included about how ADHD impacts different groups, that alone would have made me get diagnosed earlier had I read this book a few years ago
Highly recommend reading this if you are newly diagnosed, looking to get diagnosed and/or are on the fence about taking medication for ADHD. I really liked all the research included about how ADHD impacts different groups, that alone would have made me get diagnosed earlier had I read this book a few years ago
March 15, 2024
“It’s hard to describe how destabilising it can feel to realise that the core of who you are - elements of your personality that you love and cherish and are proud of - are actually, well… symptoms.”
Have I forgotten most of the helpful things that I have read in this book already? Of course! Am I going to go back and make note of the important tips and tricks that I read about? Absolutely!
I found this extremely easy for me to get through, and that is saying something because I have trouble reading things filled with loads of scientific information. I think Matilda’s writing style contributes to those feelings because she is able to engage the reader with a lot of personal anecdotes and humor. I can relate to most of the stories that she tells because I’ve done similar things and we’re around the same age.
I have seen some people complaining that this book is only regurgitating pre-existing information about ADHD, and that may be partially true, but it’s meant to serve as a semi-comprehensive guide for (young) adults who have JUST discovered that they are neurodivergent.
I am so thankful that this book exists, and I feel nervous and excited to get started on my own journey of self-discovery. I'm glad that this was one of my first steps. 5/5⭐️
Have I forgotten most of the helpful things that I have read in this book already? Of course! Am I going to go back and make note of the important tips and tricks that I read about? Absolutely!
I found this extremely easy for me to get through, and that is saying something because I have trouble reading things filled with loads of scientific information. I think Matilda’s writing style contributes to those feelings because she is able to engage the reader with a lot of personal anecdotes and humor. I can relate to most of the stories that she tells because I’ve done similar things and we’re around the same age.
I have seen some people complaining that this book is only regurgitating pre-existing information about ADHD, and that may be partially true, but it’s meant to serve as a semi-comprehensive guide for (young) adults who have JUST discovered that they are neurodivergent.
I am so thankful that this book exists, and I feel nervous and excited to get started on my own journey of self-discovery. I'm glad that this was one of my first steps. 5/5⭐️
February 18, 2024
If you’re a Gen Z or millennial woman who wants to know more about ADHD, this is the book you should read. If you’re a Gen Z or millennial woman who has ADHD and wants people to understand you better, this is the book you should get them to read. Boseley nails the execution. Her research is thorough, her discernment sharp and the personal touches are full of the vitality she exudes in her Guardian content. I parasocially adored her before reading this, but my adoration grew tenfold during and after.
February 12, 2024
More like a rant about her life while throwing some ADHD facts here and there :/
I didn’t understand why she (an Australian living in Australia) started talking about racial problems in the US? I think if you’re going to talk about other countries it’s better to do research on a few of them and compare them for knowledge sake. Why the random facts about the US only ?
I would prefer to just read about ADHD.
I didn’t understand why she (an Australian living in Australia) started talking about racial problems in the US? I think if you’re going to talk about other countries it’s better to do research on a few of them and compare them for knowledge sake. Why the random facts about the US only ?
I would prefer to just read about ADHD.
January 2, 2024
What a fabulous book, packed with evidence and tips it manages to also be personal, heartbreaking and funny! Personally I loved her diary entries which had me laughing out loud. Think this book is going to be so useful for anyone who thinks they have ADHD or is newly diagnosed. A warm hysterical and evidenced based record of the authors first year after diagnosis.
July 5, 2024
Thank you Matilda Boseley for writing what has now become my bible.
This book is so accessible, funny, easy to read and clear. It’s incredibly informative whilst simultaneously managing to hug you at all the right times and tell you that everything is going to be ok. I found myself crying at multiple points, when the things that I’ve beat my little brain up about for years were right there on the page with an explanation as to why I do them and reassurance that so many others do the exact same thing.
My therapist recommended this to me when she suggested that I might not be as neurotypical as I’ve lived my life believing. I’ve never felt more seen and heard. Suddenly everything makes sense. This feels like the answer I’ve been looking for 21 years.
This book is so accessible, funny, easy to read and clear. It’s incredibly informative whilst simultaneously managing to hug you at all the right times and tell you that everything is going to be ok. I found myself crying at multiple points, when the things that I’ve beat my little brain up about for years were right there on the page with an explanation as to why I do them and reassurance that so many others do the exact same thing.
My therapist recommended this to me when she suggested that I might not be as neurotypical as I’ve lived my life believing. I’ve never felt more seen and heard. Suddenly everything makes sense. This feels like the answer I’ve been looking for 21 years.
November 25, 2024
Such a well researched and informative book about ADHD, I feel like I learnt a lot despite already having done a lot of my own research! Would recommend to anyone who is interested in ADHD for themselves or someone they love
August 27, 2025
Absolutely loved this. So validating and informative! A must read for anyone diagnosed with ADHD as an adult 🤌🏻
January 26, 2025
neat. mostly a diary of an adhd person with occasional helpful tips for dealing with adhd. gives the reader a bunch of perspectives to better understand adhd which i think more people should be aware about.
July 28, 2025
After recently being diagnosed and feeling really overwhelmed and emotionally challenged, this book is exactly what I needed! Although at times it was confronting to read, I’ve never felt more seen and have learnt so much about myself and about this disorder already! This book is really well researched and informative. It was also really helpful taking my time to read this to digest the information and highlight (a lot 😅). Although I feel like I have a bit of a journey ahead of me this was a great starting point and I feel a bit more hope that my quality of life can at some point get better :)
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