Walks on the Margins: A Story of Bipolar Illness

by Kathy Brandt, Max Maddox

2014 GOLDEN QUILL AWARD
2014 EVVY BOOK AWARD
In Walks on the Margins, Kathy offers a valiant and unapologetic struggle of a mother trying to find a semblance of her son as they are both wrapped in the turmoil of bipolar disorder. Bathed in gentle compassion and exuding the most resilient love for her son and family, Kathy’s narrative favors a compelling witness-writing that shows how it feels to be in the circle of those intimately affected by mental illness and in a world beset by institutional failure.

Max’s attentive gaze depicts reality through the lens of the artist he is yet to become, unearthing poetry, rhymes and a broad palette of colors in the most sordid of places. With a callous, ruthless self-scrutiny, he retells both his manic and depressive episodes. At times unnerving, the fierce honesty of his prose is ameliorated by humor and a highly visual writing style reminiscent of the vanguard novellas. Max conveys a playful and unsettling beauty that he scratches off the seemly dim surface of day-to-day life.

It’s the whiz kid and his vexed mother. His emotional unrest and her unhindered kindness. Mother and son weave their narratives into a single powerful story about coming to terms with bipolar disorder.

Genres: Memoir, Psychology, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Health, Parenting

175 pages, Paperback

First published April 30, 2013

About the author

Kathy is the author of Walks on the Margins: A Story of Bipolar Illness, co-authored with her son, Max Maddox. It was a finalist for the Iowa Review Award in Non-Fiction. She also writes the Hannah Sampson Underwater Investigation series.

After her son was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1999, Kathy became a vocal advocate for those with mental illness and their families. She has served is on the board of directors for NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) most recently as president of the local chapter. She is the recipient of the 2012 NAMI Award for Outstanding Service and the Golden Quill Award for "Walks on the Margins."

Kathy has a B.A. in English and an M.A. in Rhetoric and taught writing at the University of Colorado.

Sourced: http://www.kathybrandtauthor.com

Reviews

[Ash · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Walks on the Margins is one of the most informative, truthful, and interesting books on mental illness that I've ever read. Told from two perspectives, it lays out the reality of what it is like to have bipolar disorder and how a mental illness can affect a family.

Max's chapters were vibrant and colorful, a little hard to follow at times, but always meaningful and eye-opening. And Kathy's chapters showed how hard it is to watch your child suffer and know that whatever you do, it isn't going to be enough. It never will be. Both are excellent writers and they easily held my attention.

Definitely recommended for anyone who wants to learn more about mental illness.

[Nancy Saltzman · Rating 5 out of 5]

After reading "Walks on the Margins" I have a much better understanding and appreciation for someone diagnosed with bipolar illness. I thought the structure of the book made it extremely compelling - one chapter by Kathy Brandt (mother) and the next by Max Maddox (son). The authors took the reader deeply into their lives and showed the highs and lows of the illness and its affects on their lives. I highly recommend this story of perseverance, love, and triumph.

[Misty · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have known people with this disease. It is horrible and draining for the patient and entire family and friends. Yet having this out in a book shows to the outside world what happens with this disease. It is not a common disease that everyone understands. There is myths and people become afraid of people with this. Getting this out in the public assists the rest of the world in knowing what this actually is.

[Wishzoom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Here's a book of alternating chapters written by a mom and a son documenting their journey through his bi polar diagnosis. Both are wonderful writers. I liked the way their points of view remain distinct. The son's description of his experience is rare and riveting, first rate. The mom shows great humanity and transparency as she struggles to be the best possible parent. Both bring inspiring insight.

[Fran · Rating 4 out of 5]

Walks On The Margins
Told in two voices: Kathy Brandt and Max Maddox


An artist’s palette contains many colors and within these colors some envision images, pictures and scenes that either comprise events in their lives or what they think should be part of their lives. Manic Depression is defined as: Manic-depression: Alternating moods of abnormal highs (mania) and lows (depression). Called bipolar disorder because of the swings between these opposing poles in mood. A type of depressive disease. Not nearly as prevalent as other forms of depressive disorders. Sometimes the mood switches are dramatic and rapid, but most often they are gradual. Mania often affects thinking, judgment, and social behavior in ways that cause serious problems and embarrassment. For example, unwise business or financial decisions may be made when an individual is in a manic phase. Bipolar disorder is often a chronic recurring condition. A serious condition if not treated can create tragic results. Author and mother Kathy Brandt creates another picture using a tapestry of designs within this poignant memoir to describe her son Max, his fight with Bipolar Disorder and his hope to create a clearer and more lucid palette of colors. Take this journey and be aware that it might be disturbing at times within the walls of mental institutions, offices of different psychiatrists and into the mind of one young man whose thoughts and words will be clearly presented to readers as he roams the streets, lives life in the danger zone and sometimes under bridges.
Max encountered many different doctors with their very own take or viewpoints on his illness. Many were just grasping at straws and often too concerned with the insurance companies guidelines to pay for his care rather than his care itself. Sending him home with what some might say a smorgasbord of medicines to choose from and take, Max made some strides but not always positive. On page 44 Kathy shares an in-depth and inside view of bipolar disorder, it definitions, how it affects the brain and what causes his illness. Adding in that many figures in history and prominent stars on the screen have this disorder allowing readers to learn that Robin Williams, Winston Churchill and even Teddy Roosevelt dealt with this disorder and look at their individual successes in life.

Creating a world of his own within his own mind Max shares with readers his reality of life. Every scene is filled with many different colors, destructive images, and violent outbursts and through it all Kathy was there to support and try and rescue him from himself. Art is his passion, his catharsis, and his salvation, which would take him into a world that would be calming, filled with colors, different emotions and allow him to be himself. Even his graphic description of an easel and the “disruptive turpentine smell,” that he loved, the 22 colors spread into a rainbow and how they controlled him. As Kathy explains in her narrative his mood swings, depressions and how he just wanted to feel his belonged. At times we hear Max wanting to share his feelings with his family but having difficulty releasing his anger, his fears and hopes. A series of incidents described in Chapter 7 highlight just what happens when Max’s illness overtakes him and tries to win. Delusional behavior, paranoia and finally another confinement seems to be the order of events in his life. From the start he enters another program and then one phone call will change it all as Kathy introduces the reader to Nolan, Max’s father and we learn of the disconnect between them and his stay at North Western Hospital. Dreams that took him into different worlds, scenes in his mind that crossed between reality and blurred vision Max’s road to recovery was long, hard and not without pain. Sleep eluded him at times; colors filled his head forming images of death, destruction and despair. Doctors and medical staff unfeeling, dispassionate, and cold you begin to wonder why he would even submit himself to the indignities. Police and ambulance escorts, phone calls that were left unanswered, wandering the streets and a mother who would never give up. Mercy Psychiatric Hospital was where it all began but we progress to others and after 12 years with bipolar, drug and alcohol abuse he was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. Defined, as “Schizoaffective disorder is a condition in which a person experiences a combination of schizophrenia symptoms — such as hallucinations or delusions — and of mood disorder symptoms, such as mania or depression Schizoaffective disorder is not as well understood, or defined, as are other mental health conditions. This is largely because schizoaffective disorder is a mix of multiple mental health conditions that may run a unique course in each affected person. Untreated, people with schizoaffective disorder may lead lonely lives and have trouble holding down a job or attending school. Or, they may rely heavily on family or live in psychiatric group homes. Treatment can help manage symptoms and improve the quality of life for people with schizoaffective disorder.” Mayo Clinic

Wards filled with patients that were violent and laws that were passed to protect these people. IN 2003 the New Freedom Commission on Mental health declared: “ the mental health care a system in shambles. “ But, nothing changed as Kathy moved forward to learn more watching and understanding why her son did not want to be placed in one of these facilities. Read pages 87- 93 to enter his world and understand why.

There is so much more that I learned about Max and this illness that I can share with readers from Chapter 13 where I learned about the many different medications, the various drugs that he sold and became addicted to and terms like Purple Kush, psilocybin which turned him on and hopped him up, you can feel his body change, tense and the situations described in this chapter will make you shudder. Learn the term Candy Junkie and they do not mean snickers.

Commitment did not only mean confinement. Taking Lithium was supposed to help him feel better but one scene where his mother takes him to her place of work, gives him a massage and releases his tension is heartbreaking. One man named Tony hears a mother’s voice, understand her pain and hopefully help. Forgetting appointments, more medications and the end result of how some families help, others lie to cover up what their loved one is doing this book will give you a much better insight into this illness that taking a course in it would.

Suicide watches, making sure her son’s apartment was safe, taking him to lunch and making sure he would not disappear, Kathy Brandt lived her life in so many different worlds. The most compelling chapter is the one that describes taking Max to her office and relating the ten most important things to remember in life. “Pretend you’re not afraid,” or Remember to eat and sleep and finally Know that Max and I will get through this.” A mother’s voice and a son’s hope. Hospitals that are poorly staffed underfunded and doctors poorly trained, this story takes readers into the heart of what needs to be repaired in our health care system. A twelve-week course would not only help Kathy but others dealing with family members with this disorder. Understanding is one thing but learning how to deal with the illness and having others for support paramount. Learn more when you read chapter 18. Doctors that were late irritated Max and he felt that they were disrespecting him. Lithium is said to be the best choice of medication by the American Psychiatric Association but there are other meds too. Read this outstanding memoir told in two voices so that you enter the world of this young man learning about the disorder through his eyes and then listen to Kathy as she struggled, fought and would never give up. How has his life changed? Where is he now? What has he accomplished? These questions and much more about both authors will only be answered when you read Walks on the Margins. The edge and area immediately adjacent or next to the border of a paper is how a margin is defined. It is where there are no words, a blank space and it is as if you are not part of what is on the paper. Walking on margins: Max seemed to always be on the outer perimeter and never within the space filled with other artists or friends. He never felt that he would be accepted, his margin of reality or truth hard to find and many times he has crossed the “margin of civilized,” or even accepted behavior. Will he ever have a normal life? When will he walk within the larger space and find himself inside? One heartfelt memoir that is straightforward, honest and definitely a must read for anyone that has a family member dealing with this disorder and for everyone else to learn more about it and understand. A great book for mental health specialists to read.


Fran Lewis: reviewer

[Rossa Forbes · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I review memoirs of mental illness, I feel that I should say first where I am coming from and why I like to read these kinds of memoirs. (There really should be a name for this genre.) I am the mother of a son, a little younger than Max Maddox, who was diagnosed with schizophrenia and who is following his own artist's path, with his mother in tow. Like Kathy Brandt and other mothers, I've been working on a memoir, too. The focus of mine is finding out how best to help my son, learning about what constitutes good recovery and how to get there. How to get there often involves finding out what others are doing, and how this works out for them or their relative. I bang my personal drum against the purely medical model, which until recently, has been the dominant model propped up by the pharmaceutical industry aided by an unquestioning public. My writing style tends to be rather conventional, and factual, although I'm struggling to make my memoir worthy of the journey my son and I have taken.

With this preamble out of the way, I am flat out awestruck by the mother and son writing team, and frankly envious. Walks on the Margins takes serious literature turns, outstanding in a memoir. I'm thinking road trip writing --authors like Jack Kerouac, J.D. Salinger, Hunter S. Thompson. Not to forget Mark Vonnegut.

This is the painter's version of 21st century Chicago, as told by Max.

"In the still electric air, the sun slid beneath a satin graphite carpet, dark gray hooks dipped toward the horizon. Arms bent, shoes off, I sent doves up to the sky in a swirl as the sun broke once more, splashing the icon on a Baptist black velvet canvas, falling to my knees I grasped for this dream coming to me so slow, leaving me to doubt.

"Are you okay?" Four teenagers wondered why I was bawling and curled up in the dirt among discarded drug paraphernalia.

"I need an ORANGE," as in vitamin C and citrus fruit, lifted from Cezanne's bowl, the shape of release from the great weight of my role. But of course this misadventure had not befallen us all, which may have been all that ever mattered, and off they went with something to consider between them.

"They would call me crazy, assuredly they had done so already. The difference I guess was that something within them remembered that God does not like to offer proof precisely when it's asked of Him. Or then again perhaps they simply knew the master plan better than I, which I couldn't now distinguish from my own."

The mother Kathy's voice is just as good in its own way, tempered of course by practicalities of immediate focus of struggling to keep the wild, paint-the-town excesses of her son in check."

Where I find the book slightly disappointing is toward the end. I was really enjoying the trip and then felt like I was dumped on the curb without explanation, because, unbeknownst to me, the end of the journey was in site. We're rolling along the road, picking up speed to some destination or resolution or thoughtful self-reflection, and suddenly Max graduates from college, seems to transition fairly effortlessly to graduate school and they're back home in the driveway. Kathy speaks about recovery, but I wish she had said more about how she thought she and Max arrived at that point. She has taken National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Family-to-Family program , which gives her the institutional view of how recovery is possible:

"By the end of our twelve week class, many had let their anger go and quit blaming their loved-ones. And we'd stopped blaming ourselves. We'd accepted the "new normal" of life with mental illness. We left that last night with two-inch thick binders filled with information about mental illness, about what to do in a crisis, and how to communicate, problem solve, and take care of ourselves. We'd become educated and empowered. We'd learned that recovery was possible, and that we weren't as alone as we'd once thought."

That's what's being taught? Accept that Max is mentally ill, don't blame him, and learn to navigate bureaucracy? After the intense, searing experience that somehow worked out reasonably well for Kathy and Max, but with few clues as to why or how. There is so much more to the mechanics and the joy of "recovery" (or whatever we want to call it) that involve daily exercises in patient, faith, hope, empathy that radiate outward to embrace the whole family. These can be taught, but we first have to come from a believing place that our relative is not sick or diseased. While it is true that everyone has to tell their story in their own way --and this is a great story-- it is exceptionally great because of the art and the passion. Am I being romantic about mental illness if I prefer to focus on what's right about an individual rather than what's wrong with him? Is it better to focus our efforts on nurturing the artist rather than getting bogged down by the constant background noise? (Dubious science, harmful diagnoses, and money, always money issues.)

This book was obviously several years in the making, and a lot has changed. To gain a better understanding of recovery we need to start by rejecting the diseased brain, chemical imbalance, genetic pre-disposition to mental illness theories in favour of what many would say is the romantic idea that our problems/our humanity/our greatness are more home-grown. I say this simply because in recent years the science behind the "evidence" has been exposed as tenuous, flat out wrong, or simply wishful thinking.

Here's an American Psychiatric Association news release from May 2013.

"The promise of the science of mental disorders is great. In the future, we hope to be able to identify disorders using biological and genetic markers that provide precise diagnoses that can be delivered with complete reliability and validity. Yet this promise, which we have anticipated since the 1970s, remains disappointingly distant. We've been telling patients for several decades that we are waiting for biomarkers. We're still waiting."

That's enough drum banging on my part for now. I highly recommend this book. The writing is a delight.

[Angela · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had high hopes for this book as the reviews I read were quite positive. However, I found Max's writing style too esoteric. I enjoyed the chapters written by Kathy much more. I was disappointed that the book did not really explain Max's journey to healing. How did he manage to graduate from college, marry, and become successful despite his bipolar illness. The book mostly bounced from one psychotic episode to another. There were large gaps missing in the story line. You do gain a greater appreciation for individuals and families of those who struggle with bipolar illness and the lack of support from the law and community.

[Laura Marchildon · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Walks On The Margins” A Story of Bipolar Illness, by Kathy Brandt and Max Maddox

Are you looking for hope? Well there IS a happy ending.

What immediately captured my attention about “Walks On the Margins” A Story of Bipolar Illness, was this was a two perspective story and this made me curious to read it.

“Walks On the Margins” is an in-depth look from two perspectives; one being from Max, who was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, and the other from Kathy, his mom, watching the horrific changes happening to Max.

When Max writes, his descriptives are those of a poet in turmoil, his personal analogies are detailed, colourful, and powerful to keep the reader enthralled. Kathy, on the other hand describes, in real life, how truly powerless and heart wrenching it can be to see their child go though such torment and their inability to ease their pain.

Kathy’s persistence and advocacy was primary in getting Max the necessary psychiatric care and treatments but it is ultimately Max who is the prize fighter for not giving up on life, even when he perceived there was nothing left to live for.

Mental Illness does not just affect the individual but impacts the family as a whole. Their teamwork approach aided in the mental wellness for all involved.

As a person who has bipolar disorder herself, Max and Kathy have given me hope that I too can reach my full potential.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who has a mental illness and is looking for inspiration and for their loved ones as proof that undying love and support really does help.

[Kathy Brandt · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Novelist Kathy Brandt and her son, Max, take readers on a terrifying journey through our nation’s broken, overwhelmed, underfunded, and frustrating mental health care system. Walks On The Margins will make you angry. It will make you cry. It will also inspire you! Ultimately, it is testament to the unconditional love of a parent and a son’s determination to overcome a serious mental illness. Writing in tandem, they have not only told their personal story, but have told the story of thousands of other American families who are everyday heroes -- and they have told it extremely well."

----Pete Earley, author of CRAZY: A Father’s Search Through America’s Mental Health Madness.

[Polly · Rating 4 out of 5]

An amazing look into bipolar illness, from inside (Max) and outside, trying to help (Kathy). Max's descriptions of the mania in particular are lyric and compelling. My only quibble is that Kathy keeps looking for hope in the stories of others, and yet there's no real sense in this story of how Max got to the point that he could write his part. Several years skip by, and he's suddenly able to function again. Still, it's clear that our mental health system is badly broken, and many other Maxes have fallen through its very large cracks.

[Judy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book because someone in the Grinnell College community recommended it (one of the authors, Max, was a Grinnell College student when he was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder.).The book, told in alternating voices by Max and his mom, gives a horrifying glimpse into the struggles people with the disorder and their families face. In particular, it's a scathing indictment of our system of delivering mental health care.

[Siri · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent insight into a family's life with mental illness. Perspective from a mother and from the son who is living with bi-polar. If you would like to get a grip on trying to understand depression and mental illness first-hand, this is good start in a "walk in their shoes" sort of way.

[Stormy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Please read this book.

[Jeanne Nisbeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good picture of what it is like to live with someone affected by manic- depressive disorder

[Sharon · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very emotional story. As a mother, I couldn't imagine how heartbreaking it must have been to see a child experience so much pain. The sections by Max were insightful and lyrical.