Stanley Kubrick e me

by Emilio D'Alessandro, Filippo Ulivieri

Che siate appassionati di cinema o meno, questa è la storia più incredibile che vi sia mai stata raccontata. È il 1971. Emilio D’Alessandro lavora a Pinewood, accompagna attori e produttori in giro per i set a bordo della sua Ford Capri. È stato chiamato per una corsa a Abbots Mead, una villa alla periferia nordest di Londra. Suona alla porta d’ingresso, una donna alta e sorridente si affaccia sulla soglia: «C’è una persona che vorrebbe conoscer la, attenda qui». Solo qualche minuto, e dal corridoio spunta un signore barbuto sulla quarantina. «Buongiorno, sono Stanley Kubrick. È lei il pilota di cui si parla in questo articolo?» domanda, mostrando un vecchio ritaglio di giornale. Kubrick sta ultimando le riprese di Arancia meccanica e cerca un autista. Non sanno ancora che quell’incontro cambierà le loro vite.In trent’anni di sodalizio professionale e umano con il regista, Emilio D’Alessandro scopre i segreti della settima arte, un mondo fantasmagorico, lontanissimo dalle sue origini, che lui vive da protagonista. Si troverà a dover portare a spasso il grande fallo di porcellana di Arancia meccanica, a mangiare un boccone con Marisa Berenson in una trattoria per camionisti, a salvare Ryan O’Neal da un’orda di fan scatenate sfrecciandoper le vie di Londra. A Childwickbury, l’immensa villa-studio della famiglia Kubrick, Emilio conosce personaggi come Francis Ford Coppola, JamesCameron, Ennio Morricone, George Lucas, Nino Rota, Jack Nicholson, oltre al «discepolo» Steven Spielberg. E sarà sempre lui a fare da interpretenelle lunghe telefonate di Kubrick con Federico Fellini. Passeggiando nei corridoi dell’Overlook Hotel o per le strade di un Vietnam ricostruito neisobborghi londinesi, Emilio vede nascere film leggendari, fino all’eccezionale partecipazione in Eyes Wide Shut, nei panni dell’edicolante di Tom Cruise.Emilio D’Alessandro, insieme a Filippo Ulivieri, racconta la sua esperienza straordinaria, grazie anche a un’inedita documentazione fotografica e alla raccolta delle lettere e dei messaggi che Kubrick gli ha inviato. Gesti quotidiani, drammi familiari, partenze e ricongiungimenti, chiacchiere davanti a una tazza di caffè americano, lunghi viaggi in auto in cerca di location. Giorno dopo giorno, Emilio diventa indispensabile per Stanleye Stanley per Emilio. Stanley Kubrick e me è la cronaca della carriera di un genio del cinema raccontata attraverso gli occhi del suo assistente personale, ma anche la storia di una profonda amicizia e di una meravigliosa avventura.

Genres: Biography, Film, Nonfiction, Audiobook, History, Biography Memoir, Memoir

354 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2012

Reviews

[Jim Dooley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Late in the book, the director, Sydney Pollack, who is to replace Harvey Keitel in EYES WIDE SHUT, is picked up by Emilio D'Alessandro and driven to Stanley Kubrick's home. During the trip, Pollack sits quietly. After he has met with Kubrick, he is formally introduced to D'Alessandro and is all smiles, stating that he thought Emilio was the driver.

I mention this because it paralleled my experience as a Reader. I had picked up the book because I wanted to learn more about Stanley Kubrick. What sparked his interest in certain projects? What was he thinking when he composed certain scenes? Was he forced to remove the "slow motion" sequence in A CLOCKWORK ORANGE to gain an R rating ... and how did he feel about that? What interested him in doing EYES WIDE SHUT, and would he have bristled at Warner's posthumous CGI insertions to dodge an X rating?

When I was a short way into the book, it was obvious that I wasn't going to find the answers here. Emilio was hired as Kubrick's chauffeur ... and he seldom ever went to the cinema. (When he saw DR. STRANGELOVE, he didn't think much of it.) So, I was wasting my time with this one, right?

No, not at all. Just as Sydney Pollack didn't understand that Emilio had become part of Stanley Kubrick's trusted family, I didn't realize the insights that would be forthcoming into the human being who was one of the world's most respected film directors. These insights made for a fascinating peek into the life of the reclusive artist.

Emilio joined the Kubrick camp just as A CLOCKWORK ORANGE was finishing, and he was with the director's family right up to Kubrick's death. Kubrick did not discuss his thought process with Emilio regarding his choices for film subjects. In fact, he kept his production thoughts to himself, so it is doubtful that unless a "How I Did It" diary is found, we'll ever have the definitive answers.

What the book does succeed in showing us is the genius with the personality of a benign boy king. He was fascinated by so many things and, since money was no object, he indulged that fascination until it was satiated. He was naturally secretive about virtually every aspect of his family and professional life. Considering the world's interest in what he was going to do next, that made a great deal of sense.

If I had to take a guess, I think that the unbelievably long production schedules were the result of his trying to perfectly capture the image that he had in his head. If it didn't exactly match what he "saw," it would need to be done again. (Curiously enough, only Nicole Kidman appeared to be immune to the repetition, with Kubrick stating how happy he was with her first attempts.)

Kubrick had a sense of what he wanted to accomplish, and the personal lives of everyone around him needed to comply. He wasn't a taskmaster, but the boy king asking for a favor that couldn't be refused. If he didn't get his way, he would usually wait for a more opportune time and return to the request.

What emerges is a highly sensitive, emotional and moving story of a man who was genuinely adored by the people around him, even when he exasperated them beyond endurance. I had tears as I read about his death, and I felt the outrage when his private files were rifled to find how to finish the editing on his last film, and for his story ideas that were probably co-owned by the studio. I laughed at the silly occurrences that happened during his unaccompanied driving attempts and enjoyed getting to know his menagerie of animals.

At the end, I can truthfully say that I think I knew this "unapproachable genius" ... and his name is not Mr. Kubrick ... it is Stanley. For the film student, there is a wealth of counter-point knowledge. For everyone else, it is a warm-hearted and moving biography.

I highly recommend it.

[Iris · Rating 4 out of 5]

A peep behind the scenes of the relationship between the director Stanley Kubrick and his friend Emilio D'Alessandro. These heartfelt memoirs spanned 28 years until Kubrick's sudden death in 1999. A book about loyalty, quirkiness, privacy, detachment and love.

[AndreaMarretti · Rating 5 out of 5]

Libro FAVOLOSO.
Sicuramente da non perdere per i cinefili ma godibilissimo da chiunque.
Il nocciolo della storia è il rapporto, la chimica che si crea istantaneamente tra Emilio D'Alessandro _autista (e presto factotum) mite, gentile, assolutamente ignorante di cinema_ ed il Maestro non appena si incontrano.
È incredibile da dire (ma è assai probabile che si possa dirlo) ma capolavori senza tempo come "Barry Lyndon", "Shining", "Full Metal Jacket" ed "Eyes Wide Shut" non avrebbero mai visto la luce senza questo autista-confidente del regista più schivo e geniale di sempre.
Emilio non sapeva chi fosse Kubrik ma ha conosciuto come nessun altro Stanley.

[Christopher · Rating 3 out of 5]

Emilio D'Alessandro is not a connoisseur of the cinema. If he can tell you which lenses were used in a particular shot in Barry Lyndon, it is only because he was meticulous in his cataloging of his employer's property, not because he understands the aesthetic or practical motivations behind its selection. No, Emilio was a straightforward, hardworking former race car driver of good Italian stock who became a nearly constant fixture in Stanley Kubrick's life, first as his driver, then as just about everything, from personal assistant, to cook, to confidant. Anyone looking for insight into Kubrick the artist should look elsewhere (D'Alessandro notes that Kubrick's favorite book about his films was Michel Ciment's Kubrick); those interested in Stanley the man will find much to love here.

In sharing his memories of working as Kubrick's factotum for nearly three decades, D'Alessandro both confirms and complicates the Kubrick stereotype. Yes, Stanley was a perfectionist who demanded the same of everyone with whom he worked, a private man who expected (and warranted) full allegiance, and at times a brutal taskmaster. But above all, he was a warm, loving, passionate artist and family man, a sometimes absent-minded and untidy workaholic for whom functionality was paramount, and a generous provider for friends, family, and colleagues alike.

D'Alessandro's unfussy recollections seem a bit dry at first, but after a few chapters, as he -- and, by extension, the reader -- gets to know Stanley better, the mutual admiration the two shared for one another becomes apparent and the book becomes informative, endearing, and often rather funny. And whether it be due to my own personal connection to Kubrick and his art or the wonderful portrait drawn by D'Alessandro's (a little of both, I'm sure), I must admit to reading the last two dozen pages through misty eyes, mourning anew the loss of both a great man and a great filmmaker. Taken in conjunction with Jon Ronson's documentary Stanley Kubrick's Boxes, the light but worthwhile Stanley Kubrick and Me continues to illuminate the inseparable life and work of one of the great artists of the cinema.

[Emma Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simultaneously a fairy-tale love letter and an honest portrait, I felt honored to have been allowed access to the private lives of these men through Emilio's stories. This book removes the mystery that always seems to surround the enigmatic man behind the camera, and replaces Mr. Kubrick with the sensitive, loving Stanley.

[Anthony · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was wonderful. It's more an insight into Stanley Kubrick 'The Man' rather than Stanley Kubrick 'The Filmmaker'. There is plenty on his films here from A Clockwork Orange onwards, but it's more about what it was like to work for him, how to deal with him, and ultimately becoming a friend.

I've been a fan of Kubricks films since I was a film student so this was a great listen.

[Tony · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is about Stanley Kubrick. This book is more importantly about the working friendship between the author, Emilio D'Alesandro, and Stanley Kubrick. It provides a more intimate look at the way Kubrick interacts with those closest confidantes, with which he worked to create his films. The negative reviews I have seen dislike the book because it is not a Kubrick study. Not a book about the intricacies and genius of Kubrick. I loved this book because I have read those accounts and the countless books that reflect that side of Kubrick, but this one shows more of the man from a first hand account from a friend.

There is plenty on Kubrick's work habits and behind-the-scenes stuff here but the centerpiece is Emilio and his observations and interactions with Kubrick on and around the productions of Kubrick's films starting with A Clockwork Orange onward, working as Kubrick's driver and later assistant to the director.

Great read, highly recommended for any Kubrick fan, film fan, and those who appreciate a peak behind the curtain of film production and long-standing friendships.

[Smiley III · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great! A real entry into the mind of the man.

Fun, too. Read it for the stories about famous people, stay for the heart, grasp what was going on in the world these twenty-plus some years in particular.

Emilio's a great guide, and you'll find out about a lot of people, and learn a lot about how people get by -- cope, and make things -- in general!

A real pleasure, and one you should keep around so everyone you know can pass it amongst themselves.

Terrific!

[Paul Spence · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stanley Kubrick was a man ever careful to remain two steps ahead of his own demise. Terrified of flying, he arrived in England in his early 30s and never again left its borders, not even to attend the funerals of his parents. He forced his drivers to stay under the speed limit and famously decamped to a manor house that predated the Great Fire of London from which he could accomplish all his pre- and post-production work without ever stepping outside. His paranoia was legendary, even as it forms the backbone of some of his greatest films, including 2001, which was inspired as much by Kubrick’s fear of the unknown as it was by the ongoing proliferation of nuclear weapons. Kubrick would tell the rare interviewer he was merely shy; anything to excuse his stubborn unwillingness to talk with real people. The closest he came to an admission was telling Time in 1975 that it was “helpful not to be constantly exposed to the fear and anxiety that prevail in the film world.”

The obsessive consistency he maintained in his private life turned out to be in vain. Kubrick didn’t perish in a car accident or a mushroom cloud. Death stalked him within the walls of Childwickbury and claimed him in the midst of his only true refuge. He had just completed and delivered the final cut of Eyes Wide Shut when he retired to the master bedroom on the second floor of his home. He never came back down.

Even in death, Kubrick never left the house. The funeral was held at Childwickbury and Kubrick’s body remains interred there today. Christiane contributed a bright orange portrait she’d painted of her husband in earlier years, with a benighted Stanley at the center of it resembling Jack Nicholson at the end of The Shining by way of Francis Bacon. Jan Harlan, Kubrick’s brother-in-law and the executive producer of his later work, gave a short eulogy describing him as a kind man of boundless energy. “If you want to know more,” he said, “you’ll have to ask Emilio.”

That would be Emilio D’Alessandro, who was hired by Kubrick in 1970 to serve as his driver and rapidly rose to the level of his personal assistant. He also frequently played the roles of mechanic and handyman, prepared Kubrick more than a handful of meals, and took care of what grew to be a vast menagerie of cats and dogs. Toward the end of his tenure, he even got to sell a newspaper to Tom Cruise — his only cinematic cameo. The subtitle of the latest pseudobiography of Stanley Kubrick, written with help from Filippo Ulivieri and translated by Simon Marsh, is “Thirty Years at His Side,” and it is meant to suggest an intimate relationship between its author and the great film director who employed him. For all we believe we know about Kubrick, the chilly recluse, that is a tantalizing prospect, and D’Alessandro’s promise of such a portrait threatens to undermine the secondhand reports we have of Kubrick generally seen terrorizing Shelley Duvall or neglecting his family.

D’Alessandro meets Kubrick during the preproduction of A Clockwork Orange. He is poached from a taxi service by Jan Harlan and agrees to become Kubrick’s driver without ever having heard of the man. (He had seen Dr. Strangelove in 1964 but failed to remember the director’s name.) One of his first responsibilities is the delivery of the enormous porcelain phallus employed by Alex to bludgeon a woman to death in Clockwork. Whether out of curiosity or because Kubrick figured a champion motor sportsman would make for a safer driver, D’Alessandro was selected because Kubrick had discovered a 1968 news article about his former career as a Formula Ford driver. Eventually, Kubrick let him go the speed limit.

Very quickly, D’Alessandro begins to suspect that he is more than just on the Kubrick payroll. He speaks of Kubrick not as a tough but fair boss, but with the fawning tones of a semi-requited romance. “I loved him,” D’Alessandro writes. “The mechanism of our relationship worked perfectly.” All this to explain the feeling he gets whenever Kubrick smiles at him at the end of the workday. “My job was to see to it that he didn’t have to waste time. I was there to spare him the small, and sometimes not so small, burdens of life, so that every day he could quite simply be Stanley Kubrick.” And like any good infatuation, D’Alessandro allows his heart to do the seeing for his eyes. He finds he admires the man even when Kubrick is only tossing him chum — “Don’t call me sir. […] Call me Stanley.” — and takes it for granted when Kubrick tells him, “All I need is a desk, a chair, a pen, and a coffee machine; nothing else.” Wait a minute — hadn’t D’Alessandro just spent the preceding chapter expounding on the army of assistants and helpers enlisted to the cause of Kubrick, Inc.?

When The Shining enters preproduction, D’Alessandro is rightfully impressed by Kubrick’s craft. A scale model of the Overlook is built; it isn’t long before the real thing is constructed, based entirely on photographs of grand American hotels taken and compiled by the set designer and another assistant. D’Alessandro’s awe is real, but it doesn’t lead to new insight about Kubrick. If they ever discussed the film, it is not recorded here. We learn that Kubrick endeavored to replicate a hotel in one of the photographs down to incredible detail, but D’Alessandro, his assistant at this point for nearly 10 years, doesn’t think to pick his brain about it. Instead, he’s on daughter duty with Vivian, Katharina, and Anya.

D’Alessandro drops off documents to Kubrick’s office on a morning when he’s meeting with Jack Nicholson. Kubrick introduces D’Alessandro to Nicholson, saying, “This is Emilio. […] He’s my private driver. He looks after my things.” D’Alessandro, who by then was practically managing Kubrick’s life, doesn’t allow himself to feel slighted. (It also appears to be how Kubrick referred to D’Alessandro in general. When he makes the rare appearance in other biographies, as in Michael Herr’s and John Baxter’s, he is also understood to be little more than a gofer.) When D’Alessandro’s business is complete, when he’s driven the actors where they need to go and made the necessary phone calls and run Kubrick’s endlessly scheduled errands, Kubrick seems to forget about him. D’Alessandro spends very little time reporting from the set.

Kubrick eventually has D’Alessandro working 12-hour days, and D’Alessandro’s marriage sags under the weight. Kubrick promises him days off, and reneges; D’Alessandro goes on about his work without further complaint. When he finally finds his nerve, it’s not for the long hours he’s compelled to work without overtime. Kubrick asks him to build a fence that would prevent his beloved cats from escaping, a task even the “carpenters from Barry Lyndon couldn’t manage” and D’Alessandro doesn’t think he’s up to it. When he tells Kubrick so, it’s the first time he raises his voice. Kubrick makes him do it anyway. It isn’t until D’Alessandro receives an offer from Alitalia, which he pursued in secret rather than risk a confrontation, that he raises the question of work-life balance again. Kubrick plies him with a raise; D’Alessandro would rather be able to have dinner with his wife. But Kubrick barely hears him: he can hardly say more than, “No, no, no,” which becomes his trademark plea the more D’Alessandro talks about resigning. Nevertheless, it works, and Kubrick talks him out of the Alitalia gig, but it is more accurate to say he cons him out of it: the long hours don’t change; in fact, they’re soon about to grow even longer, and the promise of time off evaporates. And we’re still only a third of the way into his tenure.

At the Overlook, D’Alessandro’s opinion of Jack Nicholson sours. “He was always making vulgar remarks full of sexual innuendo,” complains the employee of the man who made A Clockwork Orange. He’s suitably impressed by Nicholson’s acting chops, however, and less so by those of Shelley Duvall, whom he doesn’t seem to regard much at all. Duvall’s driver later confides to D’Alessandro that Duvall was crying in the back of his minicab, and D’Alessandro has to reassure him that all is well back on set. He may not have personally witnessed the hundred-plus takes to which Kubrick infamously subjected his co-star, but when the question of Kubrick’s ruthless perfectionism does come up it’s in a context that omits Duvall:

What made things difficult on the set of The Shining was that Stanley wanted everything to be exactly as he had conceived it, even if that meant filming the same scene hundreds and hundreds of times. Stanley filmed a scene and when he’d finished the take, he said it was fine and that he had to do it again. Then he said that the new take was fine and that he had to do it yet again. Even if that one was fine, he still had to do a third one.

Either out of loyalty or incuriosity, D’Alessandro doesn’t press Kubrick to explain his method, although surely at this stage in his career he must’ve felt comfortable enough to do so. It’s a terrible missed opportunity for Kubrick fans, but D’Alessandro either doesn’t care or doesn’t realize it. By his own admission, he had never sat for a Kubrick film all the way through. A proper biographer with D’Alessandro’s level of access would’ve asked; such a person would already be a lover of cinema, especially Kubrick’s cinema. D’Alessandro writes it off as the cost of doing business.

D’Alessandro is recalcitrant about culture, but the worst that can be said is it only serves to make things a little awkward around Childwickbury. What a welcome surprise to learn that Kubrick had planned to collaborate with John le Carré on A.I., but how telling it is whenever D’Alessandro refers to le Carré (né Cornwell) as “David,” his long-moribund Christian name. I would have liked to learn, as one does from Michael Herr’s short but valuable text and which is fleshed out by le Carré’s own recent memoir, that Kubrick had befriended le Carré as early as 1980 — which D’Alessandro would have known but doesn’t choose to relate. When he finally sits down with copies of Kubrick’s films, he reports back to Kubrick that his favorite was Spartacus. I was smacking my forehead even before reading that Kubrick whispered, in reply, “Um … I don’t think much of that.” One film he never gets around to seeing is A Clockwork Orange — and, my god, man! — you’d think after transporting the big, white murdercock to the set that D’Alessandro might be a little curious what it had been used for.

D’Alessandro’s colleague, a bawdy production assistant named Andros Epaminondas, tells him he’s planning on leaving. The grueling work had worn him down. “I’d like to get out of here occasionally,” he tells D’Alessandro. “I’m always here; I’m always on the phone. I never get to see anyone, and as soon as I get home I collapse on the bed. I haven’t got the energy to do anything else, to go out with a friend, nothing.” D’Alessandro should’ve understood Epaminondas better than anyone. Certainly D’Alessandro’s long-suffering wife would empathize. But instead we get an almost perfect imitation of Kubrick. “Andros, I understand what you’re saying,” D’Alessandro says. “But it’s as if you were stabbing me in the back. I hate to tell you this to your face, but you’re hurting me.”

Epaminondas’s resignation leaves Kubrick surprisingly dumbfounded. “Didn’t I pay him enough?” he asks of D’Alessandro, missing the point. As D’Alessandro tries to explain, Kubrick butts in: “I’ve never made demands on anyone!” It is a testament to D’Alessandro’s growing impatience with his employer that he’s as surprised by Kubrick’s outburst as we are. But his shock doesn’t outlast ours. He goes home angry, but he’s back at work the next day.

There are few genuine revelations in the book to challenge our perception of Kubrick. Nothing is so muscular as that revealed in Jeremy Bernstein’s great 1966 profile of Kubrick in The New Yorker, where Bernstein uncovers a shortwave radio that Kubrick was using to listen in on Moscow’s opinions of Vietnam. (Christiane tells Bernstein that “Stanley would be happy with eight tape recorders and one pair of pants.”) That Kubrick, in what would become his final hours on Earth, was very anxious about the state of anti-Semitism in New York City is an incredible moment that we learn of not from D’Alessandro but from Michael Herr, who received such a phone call while driving on the Friday before Kubrick’s death. A scene in which D’Alessandro walks in on an incapacitated Kubrick — D’Alessandro doesn’t say he was having a stroke, but it could certainly be interpreted that way — was news to me. But it also makes me wonder why more wasn’t done to get the clearly ill Kubrick to a doctor.

D’Alessandro makes certain to highlight Kubrick’s benevolence. At one point, Kubrick provides an aspiring film school applicant with a letter of recommendation after the kid appears as a background actor in Full Metal Jacket. And D’Alessandro’s story picks up steam when he’s witnessing Kubrick interact with other filmmakers. “How the fuck can you make a film in such a short time?” Kubrick screams at Steven Spielberg over the phone. Later, D’Alessandro recounts Kubrick’s profound joy at having none other than Danny DeVito wish him happy birthday over the radio, although D’Alessandro spends very little time contemplating Kubrick’s surreal insistence that he make the introduction. D’Alessandro had never met DeVito; Kubrick had merely assumed all Italians were acquainted.

Kubrick and D’Alessandro make a call to Federico Fellini, with D’Alessandro acting as interpreter. The conversation is a warm one, and Fellini asks D’Alessandro to tell Kubrick goodbye “in the most sincere and affectionate way possible.” But before hanging up, Fellini asks about Kubrick’s next film, and Kubrick, remembering the way Platoon cut the legs out from underneath Full Metal Jacket in 1987, is startled.


“The new film?” said Stanley suddenly. “Don’t tell him anything! Say good-bye, say good-bye quickly!” and he tried to grab the phone out of my hands.

D’Alessandro wants every moment to resonate like this one. But he reads too much into Good Kubrick while making too little of Bad Kubrick. Genuine tragedy strikes the D’Alessandro family when his son is maimed in a car accident. The son’s leg is amputated after a harrowing eight days spent in a coma. Kubrick passes on kind words and offers to do everything he can. So why is D’Alessandro reduced to passing updates on his son’s condition under Kubrick’s shuttered doorway? And why is this presented as goodwill on Kubrick’s part, rather than practiced indifference? If this was a perfect relationship, Kubrick doesn’t seem to have noticed.

It isn’t until D’Alessandro starts suffering heart palpitations that the spell begins to lift. Kubrick catches him enjoying a much-needed breather while on the clock and comes downstairs to ask him what he’s up to. When D’Alessandro explains, Good Kubrick tenderly examines his chest. But Bad Kubrick doesn’t appreciate the irony of telling D’Alessandro, “You know that’s the first time I’ve seen you sit down in twenty years,” and neither does D’Alessandro, who feels somehow consoled by it. He’s getting on in age, and he can no longer work the excessively long days required of him. He rarely gets back to see his elderly parents in Cassino. Still, D’Alessandro is forced to beg until he’s practically blue in the face for Kubrick to let him quit. Kubrick does. D’Alessandro submits his two-week notice and lives happily ever after.

Or so it would be in any other employer-employee context. But D’Alessandro feels the need to stay on for three more years, and Kubrick extends even that murderous length of time by an additional 18 months. It isn’t until D’Alessandro’s father dies that he begins to comprehend the gravity of the situation. It’s the closest D’Alessandro comes to blaming Kubrick for his misery:


I called Stanley to tell him I wouldn’t be coming to work the next day. “See what’s happened?” I said to him in tears. “I’d been afraid for months that this was going to happen.”

But he stops just short. He writes it off as the vicissitudes of life rather than the unfortunate consequence of working for a megalomaniac. And when he returns to Cassino to attend the funeral, he brings something of Kubrick with him. He can barely stand to be around people, the mourners at his father’s wake, and he catches a flight back to England less than 48 hours later. D’Alessandro’s father died on a Thursday, and by Monday he’s clocking back in at Childwickbury. The transformation is nearly complete: Kubrick would’ve skipped the funeral entirely.

It is possible for Kubrick to be equally an insufferable tyrant who traumatized his actors and employees; a neurotic, restless monk of a man; a beloved friend, husband and father; and the greatest filmmaker who ever lived. On that last count, a BBC poll last year tallying the greatest American films of all time placed five of Kubrick’s on the list, more than any director save the two with whom he tied: his friend Steven Spielberg, and Alfred Hitchcock, another filmmaker not exactly known for being pleasant to work with. Kubrick’s films have inspired generations of filmmakers, from David Lynch to Terrence Malick, and countless numbers of cut-rate imitators. He earned that level of esteem by wrenching exactly what he wanted out of those who chose to serve him, but not for nothing does D’Alessandro continue to love the man. Even Shelley Duvall had only praise for him, and not after the fog of years distorted the memory of her time on set, but as early as 1981, in a brief interview with Michel Ciment.

One of the most frustrating things about this book are D’Alessandro’s frequent lapses into the kind of sentimental dross Kubrick himself was so allergic to in his own work. The worst offense is a Return of the Jedi–like sequence toward the end. Kubrick has died, dissolving the energy of his household like a dying star, and it’s as if a light has gone out in D’Alessandro’s life. But his sorrow doesn’t last long, because no sooner has he returned to Italy than he has a vision of Kubrick and his own late father driving a tractor together out in the fields, laughing heartily and reassuring D’Alessandro of life after death. The elder D’Alessandro even gets to tell his son that “everything will be alright” before he and Kubrick literally disappear into the fog. All we need is “Yub Nub” and a dancing Ewok or two to complete the scene.

I would have preferred the book to end a few pages before. In Rome, D’Alessandro visits a museum exhibition of Kubrick’s personal effects and finds that every item signifies a fleeting moment shared with the late master: handwriting he had recopied, a string he had tied to Kubrick’s Ey

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best insight I’ve found so far into Kubrick the person, not the filmmaker. Our guide here, Emilio, brilliantly portrayed by narrator Stephen Hoye, doesn’t have a clue about films. He knows how to fix your toilet plumbing, and can tell you why the right rear wheel is making that noise, but he doesn’t know Tom Cruise or Sidney Poitier from Adam.

A thirty year working relationship and ever burgeoning friendship, Emilio gives up so much, so much, yet it seems the easiest thing in the world. Kubrick demands 110% for what must have been 80% of the waking day yet the satisfaction felt must have been incredible. Numerous times he tries to quit, to spend more time with his family, always failing.

He wasn’t a recluse, or a hermit, as widely reported by the press at the time. He was the gentlest of men with an absolute love for his family (and pets). People who met him adored him, he was so warm, they have such wonderful stories.

When Emilio does retire and finally watches some of his films it’s fascinating the conversations had. Kubrick was most excited to hear what he thought of Full Metal Jacket. Out of respect Emilio never watched Clockwork, Kubrick pulled it from distribution in the UK after receiving death threats.

Chapter 10 is heartbreaking, about Emilio’s own personal familial trauma. One of those, oh, this is real life type stuff moments. Then those final few chapters wrap up a beautiful book as we near Eyes Wide Shut and the inevitable.

An absolute must for any Kubrick fan. I’ll listen to this again at some point.

[Houssy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Libro per cinefili, per appassionati e per sognatori. Il ritratto di un grande autore di cinema (il più grande) attraverso le sue debolezze, le sue manie, il suo genio e il suo amore verso il piccolo, grande autore di questo splendido libro. Indimenticabile.

[Livietta · Rating 4 out of 5]

Una visione di Kubrick particolare. Qui a parlare è Emiliano D'Alessandro, che è stato assistente del regista per oltre trent'anni.
Un dietro le quinte umano, di una persona che i film di Kubrick se li è visti dopo, in un tentativo di pensione tra full metal jacket e Eyes Wide Shut. Per Emilio, Stanley era un datore di lavoro e anche di più, non un regista da idolatrare, e per Stanley, Emilio non era un factotum, era un appiglio alla realtà, una sicurezza in un mondo che lo spaventava.
Essendo un racconto molto aneddotico, si presta benissimo all'ascolto: scorre benissimo e i racconti di vita "quotidiana" risultano vividissimi e sembra quasi di essere immersi nelle stanze delle due case in cui Stanley ha vissuto, accerchiati dagli animali.
Consigliatissimo.

[Bram Macgregor · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this entire thing on my kindle while I sat at my younger sisters graduation, I just forgot to log it.

This is the definitive book on Kubrick (so far).

5/5; More thoughts coming soon.

[Sherif Nagib · Rating 2 out of 5]

مذكرات سائق ستانلي كوبريك الخاص ومساعده الشخصي. أغلبية الكتاب عبارة عن يوميات مليئة بالتفاصيل الطويلة والمملة وغير المهمة إطلاقاً. هناك بعض الحكايات المُسلية والمثيرة لفضول شخص مهووس بكوبريك مثلي. ولكن إن لم تكن من عشاق المخرج فلا أرشح هذا الكتاب إطلاقاً.

[Andy Bryant · Rating 4 out of 5]

God I wish I'd known all this 25 years ago. In the early 90s I wrote my dissertation on Kubrick's films, when very little was known about the man but there was much speculation about his nature - misogynistic, obstinate, difficult to work with (50 takes for one scene etc.). This is not a critical appraisal of Kubrick, that ground is well covered (Michel Ciment's 'Kubrick: The Definitive Edition' and 'Kubrick: Inside a Film Artist's Maze' by Thomas Allen Nelson I remember as being the best books to go to for critical analysis). It is instead one of the precious few insights we have into what Stanley Kubrick was like as a man, from someone who knew him better than most. He comes across as far more eccentric than even the weirdest stories you'd always read about him, but rather than being an oppressive ogre he was a kind and loving man, definitely devoted to his art but equally devoted to his family and friends.

D'Alessandro's story is told with honesty, tenderness and humour. I give this 4 stars not so much for the quality of the writing, but simply for doing the service of putting the record straight on a man who guarded his privacy so closely during his life, that the world had simply made someone up to fill the void.

I'll have to go and watch all the films again now. What a chore ;)

[James · Rating 1 out of 5]

Bailed after 120 pages. It's like reading an account of Steve Jobs written by a guy who would fetch him things but with whom he never seemed to have a conversation. The only thing the author and Kubrick seemed to have discussed was the author's desire to work somewhere else with fewer hours.

Emilio: But Stanley--I miss my kids!
Kubrick: But I need you here!
Emilio: OK.

What's so odd is that the author conveys zero interest in Kubrick's movies or anything other than cars--and that becomes an issue when the reader is going through pages about the author's son's desire to drive race cars like his dad. (Who cares?) It's like a biography of Hitchcock by his valet who has never seen any of his movies. Nothing about Kubrick is conveyed other than that he really liked his cats. There aren't even any good anecdotes about the making of the films. I'm amazed by the blurbs on the back cover: "An oblique tale of two souls in which genius and humility are knit together and sometimes exchange places." What?

[Raghunath · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lovely quick read! This is how I like biographies to be written. With a lot of personal anecdotes giving a sense of 'being there' with a man like Stanley Kubrick. It was narrated in a simple way that is honest and endearing. There were a couple of instances where my eyes went a little moist.

This will definitely dispel all the myths that surround Stanley's private life (NOT a reclusive life). By the end of it, I felt like I understood the persons Stanley Kubrick and Emilio as well as their dependence for each other. Thats a big win for a biography.

[Fabio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oggi mi sono ritrovato tra le mani questo fantastico libro, che nella mi libreria occupa lo spazio dedicato ai miei libri preferiti. Storia autobiografica della vita dell’ assistente di Stanley e della sua vita stessa, narrata direttamente dal dietro le quinte della vita del grande regista. Un libro incredibile da leggere tutto di un fiato senza mai momenti di noia.... Ogni pagina e un momento della amicizia piu’ unica che incredibile si queste due vite incontratesi per caso.
Da Leggere!

[Gianfranco Gentile · Rating 5 out of 5]

A most incredible fairy-tale for the die-hard fan. This is the most touching item in my SK library, together with Christiane Kubrick's 'A Life in Pictures'. I recently met her and got her to sign my copy. So it'll now be my mission to meet Emiliano or Filippo or both and ask them to sign my copy of this. What a lucky and sweet man you are, Emiliano ♡

[Nathan Phillips · Rating 4 out of 5]

I ordered this book for the library not really knowing what it was, just being aware we needed more stuff in our collection of film-related books. Didn’t expect it to so fascinate me, or to make me tear up! D’Alessandro was Kubrick’s driver and personal assistant for three decades, which makes this sound like an exploitative cash-in, but nothing could be further from the truth. He was a perfect foil for his boss because he didn’t have any direct interest in cinema and so wasn’t trying to “get at” him in any way, and his loving memoir of his career under him ends up providing casual but invaluable insight into Kubrick’s personality and working methods, from the Clockwork period all the way to his death. This is stronger than the conventional biographies of the man I’ve read because its intimacy allows one to get a strong sense of who he actually was and how it might have informed the way he worked, rather than getting caught up in either excessive psychoanalysis or salacious speculation. D’Alessandro just presents his memories straightforwardly and matter-of-factly, presenting a strong sense of everyday life at Kubrick’s home and offices and the closeness of his family, which eventually became intertwined with the author’s. As those close to him always alleged, the book suggests that Kubrick was remarkably ordinary and just as remarkably warm, despite a number of quirks and fixations, and a rather paranoid overprotectiveness extended to those close to him, and a tendency (common to creative types) to be helplessly incompetent and disorganized in as many ways as he was meticulous. There are wonderful personal photographs of props acquired through the years, but much more tellingly of Kubrick and the people around him seen candidly. And the stories — about everything from getting mobbed by Ryan O’Neal fans to Kubrick’s despondency at the death of a pet cat — are funny, touching and fascinating; but the book becomes more than just an intriguing document and instead outright moving as it delves into the Eyes Wide Shut period. You find yourself not wanting to lose Kubrick all over again; and you keenly feel the hole his absence leaves in the lives of those around him, palpably suggesting a kind of love that can’t typically be described very well. When Emilio finds an old note from Stanley with a shopping list on it shortly after his death and breaks down, you’ll be hard pressed not to be crushed right along with him.

[Craig Adamson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to this book via Audible. This is quite a biography/autobiography. A very intriguing story from a man who essentially accidentally became Stanley Kubrick‘s personal assistant for about 30 years.

There are quite a few twists and turns in Emilio Dallesandro‘s life. Several of them are quite tragic and so it makes for a very good story.

The book is a little long for my taste, but it was really very entertaining to listen to the author describe Stanley Kubrick‘s eccentricities. Just the way he controlled people and conversations and dominated every aspect of other people’s lives was equal parts creepy and sad and funny and awkward. I found a lot of the descriptions of conversations the author had with his employer were highly entertaining. Mainly because Stanley Kubrick was so weird. Contrasting Kubrick‘s highly demanding needs with the unbelievable loyalty of all of his staff was certainly a testament to Kubrick’s character. And even though he basically wore people out, they also gladly work themselves to the bone to help him.

Some of the most enjoyable parts were the author explaining how he played cat and mouse with Kubrick and his need to keep people at his beck and call nearly all hours of the day and night. The ability of the author to essentially out-think his employer is very impressive and also extremely humorous.

While I won’t listen to this audiobook again the narrator does a tremendous job, especially at the end of the book when the author is pouring out his heart out in a very emotional time in his life. I feel like the narrator did a an extraordinary job capturing the emotion. The narrator has a special balance in the way that he captures all the humorous things that happened during the story. The quirkiness and the irony are the charm of this book. I don’t know how to explain it but I would encourage people to read or listen to at least the first half of the book to determine if they have the stamina to finish the second half. I felt it was well worth it.

[J Earl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stanley Kubrick and Me by Emilio D'Alessandro is a very good and intimate look at Kubrick the person and the relationship with the author. This is not, and makes no claim to be, a cinematic history of Kubrick's films or an intimate look at the filmmaking process. This also doesn't claim to be a biography of Kubrick. To complain about what the book never tried to do as though that is a failing of the book is actually more a statement about a reader's inability to read what a book is about before choosing it. So if you want film stuff, steer clear of this. If you want to know about Kubrick when he wasn't on set (and there is some insight to be had about his processes here, just not explicitly laid out as such) then you should give this book a try.

I found this book to offer a wonderful glimpse at Kubrick behind the scenes, in the life he guarded fiercely. If you know Kubrick's films well, you will make some possible connections between life and film but these are not the point of the book and they are also only possibilities and not definitive links. In some ways it was looking for the director within this personal life that represented half the fun.

This is very much about both Kubrick and D'Alessandro so if you don't want contextualization for the Kubrick parts you may be less pleased, but you'll also miss out on the dynamics of a long term relationship between the two and how each influenced the other.

I would recommend this to readers who like their film histories well-rounded and not just about films as objects. If you don't care so much about really getting to know the people involved in film, Kubrick in this case, then this may not be for you since this looks at Kubrick in relation to people, to friends and family, and not as though his life were lived in a vacuum.

Reviewed from a copy made available by the publisher via Edelweiss.

[Giovanni Newman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of my favorite book I have read recently.
I love cinema and Stanley Kubrick is one of my favorite director ever but this does not make a great book by itself.

But I think that this is a great story of friendship and devotion narrated from an interesting perspective. I think it took seven years to Filippo Ulivieri and Emilio D’Alessandro to put all the bits from the 28 years of long lasting relationship between Stanley and Emilio and making it into a book. Emilio’s wishes at the beginning was to make it done in about three months, from telling his memories to Filippo to go in printing. Why such a rush?
Because he wanted to honor his long-lasting friendship with Stanley as fast as he could and give to the world and homage to his mentor.

As the story progresses you see the deepen of their relationship. It spans from respect to affection to nurture in something that could be called family. The last few chapters I was endlessly crying seeing this friendship going deeper between two grownups men that share nothing but mutual respect and affection. They were opposite in their attitudes, intellectually very far and coming from very different backgrounds. But something bigger bonds them to each other’s.

Emilio did not even care about Kubrick’s cinema and this makes one of the best cinema biopic ever written. The distancpe between him and the artistry give great hints about the Stanley’s way of work. After reading this book, I noted a book that is mentioned in this story by Stanley as his favorite biography about him by Micheal Ciment. I tried read it and got bored after a few chapters.

Dear Stanley, the best book about you and your work was written by the person you could have never imagined. That’s the most beautiful happy ending of the story of your lifetime.

[Dan Hennessy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this book was fascinating! When most people write about Kubrick they write of him being difficult, overly perfectionist and curt, but here Emilio D'Alessandro writes about him with deep love and affection: he acknowledges many of the traits we've come to associate with Kubrick; it turns out some are true and some are much more complicated. Here we see a more personal side to the genius - Emilio D'Alessandro admits that for most of the time he worked for him he never even saw much of the man's work (so therefore there aren't any grand analyses of technique or minute filmmaking detail) and I think this results in a far more interesting read. We hear about Kubrick's day-to-day, as well as time on film sets, transporting people and props, Kubrick's love of animals, his family dynamic, his generosity, and his shyness. There's one moment late on in the book where Emilio describes how some neighbours love his movies and Kubrick seems stupefied: 'really?'. It portrays him as being quite sensitive and reclusive (frankly, a human being! We don't see that very often). The obsessiveness people talk about seems to ring true - a large portion of the book seems to revolve around the writer asking for more time off, and when getting that time off, receiving phone calls at all hours of the day. There are some incredibly moving emotional points along the way too - it seems like everyone close to him truly adored him.

There was one fault here for me: I think it could be argued that the treatment of Shelley Duvall during The Shining is slightly downplayed. Perhaps this was unintentional, it certainly isn't ignored, but I think due to the large criticisms Kubrick has faced since (including from his own daughter) it could probably have been covered a little more in-depth. Maybe this isn't the right book for that, I'm not sure.

All in all, a great read!

[Rob Burrowes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Emilio is a truly good man, he’s loyalty, respect and rigid moral code makes it clear why he was one of the few who Stanley Kubrick could trust in his tightknit movie production circle in the rural outskirts of London. D’Alessandro’s personable and often naive way of navigating the world is what ended up him in these truly unique positions in life. The heart wrenching struggle of working Kubrick is painful yet gratifying; beyond all, it was always about the work. But this book shows how human even the Goliaths of industry really are. Who these men are can only be told but the minutia of their daily lives which Emilio illustrates. No one is more qualified than Emilio to tell the story of who Stanley Kubrick really is. The myths and legend around the man behind the movies was has become legend in cinema history. However, Emilio cracks the secretive nut which is Kubrick. The idiosyncrasies of who Kubrik is definitely makes him unique however, it dispels much of the legend. Behind you find a man who is really no different to you and I with our quirks. Simply, this one is a great director.


I think Kubrick would have really liked this book and his great friend Emilio has honoured their work and their lives beautifully.

If you enjoyed this book, a subsequent documentary was made about it called S is for Stanley

[Stuart · Rating 5 out of 5]

Before you read this book, write down all that you know about Stanley Kubrick because after you finish you’ll have different impression.

I would say that this is one of the top 10 books I have read. It is such a surprising, touching and almost unbelievable story that I couldn’t stop listening to it but it was so intense that I was almost glad that it ended.

In brief, the author was personal assistant to Stanley Kubrick and was by his side continuously during the creation of Kubrick’s most famous movies. Although a brilliant mind and epic organiser Stanley Kubrick needed a crew of people to organise the minute details of his own life and Emilio was his most trusted servant.

In some way, it is love story because they both loved each other’s company but it is a story of dependency. Kubrick was lucky to find someone like Emilio who could put up with his quirks and crazy requests and was totally dependent on him. But in some ways Emilio, a simple man, also became dependent on Kubrick as the prime meaning in his own life.

Before reading it, I suggest watching the documentary
‘Stanley Kubrick’s Boxes’ as it shows footage of Stanley Kubrick during this time and his house which complements the story.

[Lowellie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book really gives a good rendering of what Stanley Kubrick was like in his home, both when working on his craft and tending to his day-to-day tasks. We learn about his quirks and his compassion, how he was able to set up such a beautiful creative work environment in his home, and how loving he was to the people and pets around him. The way this book was written made me feel the emptiness and quiet of Stanley's home at night, even though the place was filled with boxes and books. We get a sense of his longing and desire to keep working, to do well. The book allows you to be quite close to him and his consciousness. For that, this is a book I'll for the rest of my life hold dearly.

I read this in the public library and couldn't pause for a second, it goes by so fast. At every turn, I want to see what Stanley is up to and what the interactions with him will be like. In the end, I get a hollow feeling realizing how short even a full life can be, but also a fulfilling appreciation that Stanley existed. Most notable is you'll find Stanley doesn't fit the stereotype of the mad recluse, his gentleness and curious mind show he's much more in touch with the world and with people than vague generalizations would have you believe.

[John Kestner · Rating 4 out of 5]

During his lifetime, Stanley Kubrick was as enigmatic as his films, living as one of Hollywood's most celebrated filmmakers as far away from Hollywood as he could. Emilio D'Alessandro was initially a driver for Kubrick, but over the years he became the director's right hand man, handling nearly everything about his life in England. Emilio drove around Ryan O'Neal and Jack Nicholson, as well as other actors and collaborators. He then handled vehicle maintenance, then shopping, then errands, then nearly everything from handling cats & dogs and cleaning Kubrick's private rooms (you realize that it was only Emilio who entered some of Kubrick's spaces during one of his "retirements"). By the end, you realize just how much Emilio, a former race car driver who hadn't even seen a Kubrick film, meant to the reclusive filmmaker. With the continued interest in Kubrick's films, I wouldn't be surprised to see a film adaption of this (if Emilio allowed it). If you're a Kubrick fan, I would definitely recommend this book.

[Meghan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This definitely had its flaws but I cannot describe how cool it felt to be let in on the personal life of one of the most mysterious and talked about filmmakers of all time as well as behind the scenes of the making of some of his most iconic films. I was literally giddy reading about the making of The Shining and Eyes Wide Shut. This was also very sweet and endearing, Emilio’s and Stanley’s relationship was special and once in a lifetime. That being said, I literally would not last ONE DAY in that work environment like holy shit did Kubrick work those people to death. Emilio better have more money than he knows what to do with at this point bc he deserves that and a lot more. I also really enjoyed learning about how deeply Kubrick cared for animals. That’s one of the best ways to tell the character of someone in my opinion, and if that’s true, Kubrick was one of the best. Emilio was an empathetic, loyal, and funny narrator and I’ll forever be upset that I can’t just fly to Italy rn and spend a weekend at his farm hearing anecdotes about his time with Kubrick.

[Austin Lugo · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you were to look up fly in the wall in the dictionary, this is what you would see. As a perpetual outsider, Emilio is not a filmmaker attempting to understand the thoughts, ideas, emotions of one of the most infamous directors of th 20th century. Quite to the contrary.

Rather, here is a story told by the man, and arguably the human being, closest to Stanley Kubrick. As the title suggest, by his side for 30 years, and yet as far from a cinephile as a man could be.

As he makes apparent throughout the book, Emilio didn't only aboid the theater, but hadn't even seen most of Kubrick's work until well towards the end of his career.

So if all the scholarship and academia is taken out of Kubrick, all the cinema and filmography aand photography, what is left?

A man.

A man terrified of failure, of not being good enough. A man, not a genius, who just wants to be loved.

If only our writer could capture this in a fuller piece.

If only. If only. If only.