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How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul
In your quest for love, don't lose yourself along the way.
While navigating through the dating scene, every woman begins to wonder:
How do I know when a guy really loves me?
Am I being too picky?
Do I even deserve love?
Is my relationship worth keeping?
Is love worth the risk?
Are any decent guys left?
Single women often feel left alone to find answers to their deep questions about love and intimacy. Some hang out and hook up, hoping for love. Others are afraid even to hope. At some point, every woman needs reassurance that she and her standards are not the problem. In How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul, you'll discover twenty-one strategies to help you raise the bar, instead of sitting at it, waiting around for Mr. Wonderful.
While navigating through the dating scene, every woman begins to wonder:
How do I know when a guy really loves me?
Am I being too picky?
Do I even deserve love?
Is my relationship worth keeping?
Is love worth the risk?
Are any decent guys left?
Single women often feel left alone to find answers to their deep questions about love and intimacy. Some hang out and hook up, hoping for love. Others are afraid even to hope. At some point, every woman needs reassurance that she and her standards are not the problem. In How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul, you'll discover twenty-one strategies to help you raise the bar, instead of sitting at it, waiting around for Mr. Wonderful.
301 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2011
290 people are currently reading
1467 people want to read
About the author
Jason Evert
54 books229 followersJason Evert has spoken on five continents to more than one million people about the virtue of chastity.
Jason earned a master’s degree in Theology, and undergraduate degrees in Counseling and Theology, with a minor in Philosophy at Franciscan University of Steubenville. He is a frequent guest on radio programs throughout the country, and his television appearances include Fox News, MSNBC, the BBC, and EWTN.
After speaking solo for several years, he teamed up with Crystalina, and the two married in 2003.
Jason earned a master’s degree in Theology, and undergraduate degrees in Counseling and Theology, with a minor in Philosophy at Franciscan University of Steubenville. He is a frequent guest on radio programs throughout the country, and his television appearances include Fox News, MSNBC, the BBC, and EWTN.
After speaking solo for several years, he teamed up with Crystalina, and the two married in 2003.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 156 reviews
June 13, 2012
This book literally changed my life.
March 3, 2013
Solid advice. Strongly recommended! Men desire to chase us. Great book for Youth Group studies/Book Clubs! Women desire to be loved for more than just their body. No woman should settle for just " getting by ". The pressure to date in high school is insane and misleading. Clearly defines the difference between infatuation love and TRUE love. Confirms the value of saving sex for husband and wife. Second, why only ONE man will left your veil on your wedding day! Seconds after he claims all you are and will be as HIS WIFE ~ Forever. Parents, affirms the importance of praying for the spouce for EACH of your children. God created love with a purpose.. love is pure! I also promote " Women made New " Videos on youtube.com I will be reading this book again! God bless. U R worth waiting for!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Rprd...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJQmb...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Rprd...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJQmb...
July 13, 2020
I was given this book by one of our youth ministers, and honestly, I didn’t think I needed it. I mean, I was a freshman, single, and had been to many chastity talks. I knew my boundaries and I was strong in my morals. But this book changed my perspective on relationships forever, and I am so happy I read it when I did. You don’t need to be Catholic to read and appreciate it.
November 12, 2020
Had to read this for senior year theology class and let me tell you as a queer agnostic this book is one of the biggest pieces of trash I’ve ever consumed, second only to theology of the body. Literally the idea that every woman, EVEN Christian women, fit into a perfect box as described is so stupid, especially when they shame people who don’t. The authors are clearly basing their ideas on straight, upper/middle class, unquestioning, and predominantly white experience and it just doesn’t click for anyone who doesn’t fit perfectly into those boxes. Maybe don’t give this to a young female family member who is probably already questioning her faith because, I’ll be frank with you, most Christian literature only serves to make people less faithful. (Sources? 3 out of my 155 person catholic school class graduated as atheists)
August 16, 2011
This was a good read for anyone who is a spiritual person...And it helps us feel better about relationships and marriage, both males and females...I would recommend this for young adults and teens if they have a spiritual interest as it goes into concepts of abstinance and purity until marriage etc...However, if your a person who loves sex while being single and doesn't really beleive in the institution of marriage this book is definately not for you....But, all and all a solid read...
January 13, 2013
I am a very spiritual person and this book has some good points but the way they refer to being "pure" makes me want to vomit. I definitely agree that the expected sex on the 1st-3rd date makes building a lasting relationship very challenging and people should take some time to actually get to know one another before they make a physical commitment but overall, this book made me want to throw it in the trash and the only reason I haven't is because my mother gave it to me. I find the language judgmental and the "truths" they claim are based off an archaic religious doctrine.
June 4, 2013
I am a Catholic Teen girl and this book helped me out amazingly reevaluating my last relationship I was in!!!! It really makes you think about what you want in your life and how to wait for sex until marriage!!!!
February 28, 2023
This isn’t just “another typical purity book”, it’s so much more! I was utterly surprised with how amazing and Christ-centered this book was! I had heard many people talk about it throughout my years at my Christian high school, but I thought it would end up being like all the others. NEWSFLASH! It’s not! I enjoyed this book so much and took it al to heart! I WISH high school me would’ve listen to all the people telling me to read it... it would have caused me to change how I went about some things with boys back then. I’m passing it along to two friends and my younger sister! I feel that every girl with a longing to honor Christ and serve Him with all her heart NEEDS to read this!
Chapter 20 was a HUGE hit for me! Don’t get me wrong, I was able to relate to all the chapters and soak up TONS of knowledge. But some of my favorite quotes came from the second to last chapter:
“If we have been made by God and for God, then our lives will not make sense apart from Him. If we lose sight of our origin, we’ll miss our destiny. We’re made for more than this world can offer” (p.273)
“one’s soulmate is only visible to a person who is living in the will of God” (274).
“keep your eyes on heaven rather than earth ... You won’t miss ‘the one’ if you keep your eyes on Christ. He won’t let it happen” (275).
“Jesus Christ did not die on a cross in order to give us more rules to follow. He died in order to save us and to obtain for us the graces necessary to love as we were created to love ... Indeed, God has given us laws. He will be our judge. But in the end we will be judged by a God who is love, on our willingness to reflect His love” (276).
“In your prayer time, don’t seek spiritual feelings or emotional experiences. Seek God” (282).
The last paragraph of this chapter (chapter 20) is the best thing I’ve ever read! It moved me to tears! I would type it out, but it’s kinda long and I want everyone to read the book to find out what it says :)
Chapter 20 was a HUGE hit for me! Don’t get me wrong, I was able to relate to all the chapters and soak up TONS of knowledge. But some of my favorite quotes came from the second to last chapter:
“If we have been made by God and for God, then our lives will not make sense apart from Him. If we lose sight of our origin, we’ll miss our destiny. We’re made for more than this world can offer” (p.273)
“one’s soulmate is only visible to a person who is living in the will of God” (274).
“keep your eyes on heaven rather than earth ... You won’t miss ‘the one’ if you keep your eyes on Christ. He won’t let it happen” (275).
“Jesus Christ did not die on a cross in order to give us more rules to follow. He died in order to save us and to obtain for us the graces necessary to love as we were created to love ... Indeed, God has given us laws. He will be our judge. But in the end we will be judged by a God who is love, on our willingness to reflect His love” (276).
“In your prayer time, don’t seek spiritual feelings or emotional experiences. Seek God” (282).
The last paragraph of this chapter (chapter 20) is the best thing I’ve ever read! It moved me to tears! I would type it out, but it’s kinda long and I want everyone to read the book to find out what it says :)
March 18, 2013
Self-Help/Inspirational books are probably my least favorite genre because more times than not the person who wrote their collection of tips and inspirations and got it published reveal themselves to be very self-righteous in their motivational tome - "just read my book and you'll be perfect just like me!" (Insert eye-rolling here) But, despite some annoying areas this book did offer some good things to think about and consider with regards to relationships and marriage. It also discusses at length appropriate ways to preserve your purity for marriage and why this is so important in this modern age. I'll definitely let my girls read it-I even highlighted it and made notations. :-)
April 16, 2022
i loved this book the first time i read it but this time i found it a little off putting. in total there were about three chapters that actually could help you find the person you deserve. literally all the other chapters were about not having sex. just point blank chastity. so. save yourself some time. read the first chapter and the last two chapters and don’t have sex with people who don’t deserve you
November 16, 2013
For me, the book was good but for someone who already practices being pure the real home hitters didn't come until the last 40 pages about. But it was still worth reading for those pages and for the other odd tips, advice, and revelations.
December 12, 2012
eh. Written to younger readers.
September 21, 2021
Very outdated and controversial opinions
August 27, 2015
I spent the day today after-Christmas shopping with my mom and sister. I don't see my family very often since they almost all still live in Maryland, so I try to make myself available to them as much as I can when we're together. It seems appropriate for a season like the Christmas season, when we celebrate the birth of Jesus into his human family and the Holy Family as a group (this year, on Dec. 30). Being around family and friends makes me acutely aware of my in-between state in life, though. I'm not married or even dating anyone, and my youngest sibling is 15, so it's extra awkward when my mom gets excited by evidence of Santa's arrival on Christmas morning. She'll have a great time when grandchildren come, but I don't know when that will be.
If you're anything like me, a Catholic 20-something struggling to navigate the gap between your childhood family and the family you may one day build, you can appreciate the lonely, out-of-place feeling that often surfaces this time of year. As Catholics, we are called to practice chastity, grow in holiness, and seek godly spouses, but the specifics can be difficult to understand. How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul: 21 Secrets for Women is the latest offering from Jason and Crystalina Evert, noted chastity speakers associated with Catholic Answers. Jason's first book, If You Really Loved Me, changed my life when I read it in college. I've reread it since then, but that book is aimed toward a younger audience. Thankfully, as Jason has grown in age and wisdom with his wife (whom he met because they were both chastity advocates!) and four young children, his writing has grown as well. He is now reaching out toward people like me, those who know that there must be something better than the hook-up culture. There is, and this book begins to unpack the alternative.
Read the rest at Austin Catholic New Media.
If you're anything like me, a Catholic 20-something struggling to navigate the gap between your childhood family and the family you may one day build, you can appreciate the lonely, out-of-place feeling that often surfaces this time of year. As Catholics, we are called to practice chastity, grow in holiness, and seek godly spouses, but the specifics can be difficult to understand. How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul: 21 Secrets for Women is the latest offering from Jason and Crystalina Evert, noted chastity speakers associated with Catholic Answers. Jason's first book, If You Really Loved Me, changed my life when I read it in college. I've reread it since then, but that book is aimed toward a younger audience. Thankfully, as Jason has grown in age and wisdom with his wife (whom he met because they were both chastity advocates!) and four young children, his writing has grown as well. He is now reaching out toward people like me, those who know that there must be something better than the hook-up culture. There is, and this book begins to unpack the alternative.
Read the rest at Austin Catholic New Media.
February 15, 2014
Belief + doubt = sanity (Barbara Kruger), but belief + trust = faith.
This was given to me by one of my youth leaders back home several months ago, but I didn't pick it up until after I went on a retreat a couple weeks ago. At this retreat I had an epiphany, and as I wanted it to stay, I decided to give this book a go.
I can't help but admit I'm a little embarrassed by reading this. It's not only a religious self help book, but it's a religious self help book on finding a "soulmate." Oh please. But to be honest... I'm glad I read it. I urge others to read it as well. It won't hurt. Of course I rolled my eyes at a few things I disagreed with; to be a woman of faith and science is hard, for those two things don't always go. But all in all, the general message is a great one, and this read brought up some interesting points. I'm definitely going to give them a thought instead of pushing them to the back of my head and forgetting about them. What I really liked was a passage near the end, and to all my liberal minded friends, I want you to mull this over before you look down upon those more conservative than you. "If a woman dreams of being a single professional, God bless her. If she dreams of being married at home with eight kids, God bless her. True feminine liberation is giving her the freedom to choose for herself without looking down upon her goals."
On a side note, I think the timing of this read is noteworthy. It's the day after Valentine's Day, and the two year anniversary of my own spiritual conversion.
This was given to me by one of my youth leaders back home several months ago, but I didn't pick it up until after I went on a retreat a couple weeks ago. At this retreat I had an epiphany, and as I wanted it to stay, I decided to give this book a go.
I can't help but admit I'm a little embarrassed by reading this. It's not only a religious self help book, but it's a religious self help book on finding a "soulmate." Oh please. But to be honest... I'm glad I read it. I urge others to read it as well. It won't hurt. Of course I rolled my eyes at a few things I disagreed with; to be a woman of faith and science is hard, for those two things don't always go. But all in all, the general message is a great one, and this read brought up some interesting points. I'm definitely going to give them a thought instead of pushing them to the back of my head and forgetting about them. What I really liked was a passage near the end, and to all my liberal minded friends, I want you to mull this over before you look down upon those more conservative than you. "If a woman dreams of being a single professional, God bless her. If she dreams of being married at home with eight kids, God bless her. True feminine liberation is giving her the freedom to choose for herself without looking down upon her goals."
On a side note, I think the timing of this read is noteworthy. It's the day after Valentine's Day, and the two year anniversary of my own spiritual conversion.
June 18, 2022
I don’t know how people can read this book and take it so literally to heart. It is written awfully, sounding like a child at times. It paints people who are not faithful enough or people who struggle with addiction as toxic or monsters. It’s the perfect religious propaganda. Yeah there are some good messages about loving yourself and making sure your soulmate does that as well but it’s just such a bad book. It reminds me of something written for teenagers to push purity culture and shame. Enforces misogyny at times too. Just not a great read and I don’t know how people can just miss all these red flags.
November 17, 2021
This book is interesting, amazing, helpful, beneficial, helpful, informative, romantic and sad to read about Jason&Crystalina’s love story! Also, this book does talk about how to notice toxic signs in a Christian couples relationship! I enjoyed reading this book and it’s so important to notice toxic signs in a Christian couples relationship and in a relationship too! Jason&Crystalina Evert are so amazing authors and their books are great, interesting and helpful to read for sure! Love them as my fav authors!
November 30, 2012
Amazing book! I really enjoyed this read and was amazed at how clearly things were layed out in this book, as well as how relatible it was. I am in my 20s, but I still enjoyed this book, though I do feel like it is definitely geered more towards teens, it doesn't address many of the dating and relationship aspects that relate to those outside of their teen years.
April 20, 2012
This book is the most amazing book i have ever read. All girls should invest in reading this.
May 11, 2012
They have such a strong testimony.
June 20, 2013
Will make you proud to be a Christian woman!
March 19, 2022
This book meant a lot to me as a teenager and looking back I wish I would have been sheltered from the incredibly toxic purity culture presented here.
February 27, 2020
Ya sé que doy muchas 5 estrellitas jaja.
Pero este ha sido un libro muy diferente a los anteriores. El título no me agrada, pero no puedo decir lo mismo de su contenido.
Estoy muy contenta con lo que leí y me gustaría que más amigas lo leyeran. Pienso que es una guía básica para toda mujer para valorarse y reconocer las implicaciones de sus decisiones respecto a sus relaciones.
Pero este ha sido un libro muy diferente a los anteriores. El título no me agrada, pero no puedo decir lo mismo de su contenido.
Estoy muy contenta con lo que leí y me gustaría que más amigas lo leyeran. Pienso que es una guía básica para toda mujer para valorarse y reconocer las implicaciones de sus decisiones respecto a sus relaciones.
March 14, 2021
2.5 stars
I have such a complicated relationship with this book.
I read it because my counselor recommended it to me.
That's the only reason I was determined to finish it.
Had I just picked it up on my own, I would have given up on it.
The book shines when it focuses on relationships (men & women) and how women should perceive themselves and what women should look for.
The downfall of the book is the judgmental tone it takes on sex and birth control.
It's quite jarring. The authors' holier-than-thou tone is very offputting. The same message could have been conveyed in love and not in exasperation.
Also, the book is very clearly meant for women in their teens and early 20s as nearly every real-life example features someone of this age range. Why then did my counselor recommend it to me, her client in her 40s?
When I focus on the sections that were universal and speak to women of all ages (about a third of the book), this book is easily a 4-star book. But taking everything into consideration, I give it 2.5 stars. I did not enjoy the book and can not recommend the book to anyone.
I have such a complicated relationship with this book.
I read it because my counselor recommended it to me.
That's the only reason I was determined to finish it.
Had I just picked it up on my own, I would have given up on it.
The book shines when it focuses on relationships (men & women) and how women should perceive themselves and what women should look for.
The downfall of the book is the judgmental tone it takes on sex and birth control.
It's quite jarring. The authors' holier-than-thou tone is very offputting. The same message could have been conveyed in love and not in exasperation.
Also, the book is very clearly meant for women in their teens and early 20s as nearly every real-life example features someone of this age range. Why then did my counselor recommend it to me, her client in her 40s?
When I focus on the sections that were universal and speak to women of all ages (about a third of the book), this book is easily a 4-star book. But taking everything into consideration, I give it 2.5 stars. I did not enjoy the book and can not recommend the book to anyone.
October 24, 2022
Wonderful book for the Christian girl. My guy friend actually read this before I did, he enjoyed it so he could see what kind of guy he should and shouldn’t be 👏
and I enjoyed it because it pin pointed the issues with many guys that i see in other individuals. This book makes a case for purity from a biblical world view, it’s for Christian women mainly so don’t expect your friend to completely change their mind on hookup culture if you gift it to them. Not saying that’s a bad idea tho lol. The book was really enjoyable and had many stories in it, although some of it was repetitive I think the main message got across fine. “If you have high standards, and stick to your convictions while putting yourself in places where the type of man that will respect you will find you, then you probably won’t have any issues finding a godly man.” I think it’s a great book for Christian men too, sorta shows them what a godly man does to respect women and gives them an image of what women want. 10 out of 10
and I enjoyed it because it pin pointed the issues with many guys that i see in other individuals. This book makes a case for purity from a biblical world view, it’s for Christian women mainly so don’t expect your friend to completely change their mind on hookup culture if you gift it to them. Not saying that’s a bad idea tho lol. The book was really enjoyable and had many stories in it, although some of it was repetitive I think the main message got across fine. “If you have high standards, and stick to your convictions while putting yourself in places where the type of man that will respect you will find you, then you probably won’t have any issues finding a godly man.” I think it’s a great book for Christian men too, sorta shows them what a godly man does to respect women and gives them an image of what women want. 10 out of 10
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 2, 2019
The book is very interesting, so far.
The language is easy and straightforward.
I am a Christian and it resonates very deeply in my heart.
I also feel that young ladies who are not necessarily Christian and spiritual can also read this book, because it will make you re-examine your life choices in regards to sex,men, etc.
It helped me in a time of my life where I was very depressed after a bad breakup and needed to re-examine what I wanted in a relationship and how I could hopefully weed out the people with whom I couldn’t have a future with. I happily say that I have now been married for 6 years and intend to share this book with my daughter and nieces.
Great read!
The language is easy and straightforward.
I am a Christian and it resonates very deeply in my heart.
I also feel that young ladies who are not necessarily Christian and spiritual can also read this book, because it will make you re-examine your life choices in regards to sex,men, etc.
It helped me in a time of my life where I was very depressed after a bad breakup and needed to re-examine what I wanted in a relationship and how I could hopefully weed out the people with whom I couldn’t have a future with. I happily say that I have now been married for 6 years and intend to share this book with my daughter and nieces.
Great read!
December 23, 2012
This was a great book! I would recommend that you read it in a group because I got a lot out of it by being in a book discussion with others. Even though it's aimed at women, there are things in it that men could benefit from as well.
September 12, 2012
Such an amazing book.
July 18, 2013
Beautiful!
April 1, 2024
~5 stars~
Beautiful, sound, inspiring.
This book covered so many aspects of learning to love properly, not just a future spouse but oneself and God too.
Beautiful, sound, inspiring.
This book covered so many aspects of learning to love properly, not just a future spouse but oneself and God too.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 156 reviews