Kinky History: The Stories of Our Intimate Lives, Past and Present

by Esme Louise James

Irreverent and provocative, this is a history of sex, from TikTok sensation Esmé Louise James.
It's time to take your seat for a dinner party like no other. Discover the long, long history of the dildo. Hear James Joyce celebrate the beauty of his wife's farts. And you'll never guess Albert Einstein's thoughts on marital relations.
Kinky History draws on Esmé Louise James's phenomenally successful series on TikTok, which explores scandalous stories in the ancient world and the saucy secrets of famous figures. Teaming up with her statistician mother, Dr Susan James, the pair have surveyed the nation for all of your intimate secrets – and the results are in.
By placing the past in conversation with the present, we'll explore five 'kinks' that challenge our thinking about sex. How has the idea of sin shaped our sex lives? Why is masturbation so taboo? Where are our hidden queer histories? How do kinks and fetishes play with the idea of sex? And why does pornography have so much power over us?

Kinky History aims to blow open our conversation about sexuality and gender. Strap yourself in (or on?) – let's build a more liberated, sex-positive future.

Genres: Nonfiction, History, Audiobook, Sexuality, Feminism, Sociology, Adult

400 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 3, 2023

About the author

Esmé Louise James (@esme.louisee) is best known for her series Kinky History which has amassed over 3 million followers across her social media accounts. Esmé is a PhD candidate at the University of Melbourne; her thesis traces an aesthetic of the erotic across eighteenth-century literature. She has produced a range of non-fiction articles for publications such as the Age, the ABC and the Conversation, as well as short stories and poetry, for publications such as Hardie Grant Press and Archer. In 2020, she was listed in the Top 30 Emerging Writers by SBS Australia. Esmé’s book Kinky History: The Stories of Our Intimate Lives, Past and Present was published by Pantera Press in Australia, and TarcherPerigee worldwide, in 2024.

Esmé presents the popular Kinky History podcast, which charted to 1# History Podcast in Australia within a month of its launch. In 2022, Esmé gave talk at TEDxSydney entitled "Writing kinky sex back into the history pages.” Esmé was the recipient of Screen Australia’s Every Voice initiative funding her TikTok series, SexTistics, alongside Dr Susan James. In recognition of her groundbreaking education online, Esmé was nominated for Best Digital Creator at the 2022 AACTA Awards. In 2023, she was the recipient of the University of Melbourne’s Rising Star Alumni Award.

Reviews

[Brendan (History Nerds United) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Normally, a review seeks to answer the question, "Is this book good?" That part is easy. Esme Louise James' Kinky History is wonderful. The real question is, "How many double entendres will I put in this review?" While I role play as a sophisticated history reviewer, my sense of humor can be just as juvenile as it was back in high school. I'm not saying I am proud of this fact. But I am.

Ok, fine. I'll tell you more about the book. James uses a framing device for the overall narrative. She invites the reader to a raunchy dinner party with people from various time periods. This allows her to jump around in history to introduce well-known people and their.... proclivities. If this sounds like it might be a turn off for you, don't fret. This is used sparingly, and James' research is the real main course. (Get it? Get it!?) She is very funny and keeps it light even if there are actual statistics in this book. Which is good because I always found math rather hard.

James wants us to be a little more tolerant of what people do behind closed doors (and sometimes with open doors because you can't forget the exhibitionists). No, she is not flogging prudes with this book. James comes from a place of celebration and education.

So, in conclusion, if this looks like a book you would enjoy, then you should read it. If you think this is outside your comfort zone, why not open yourself up to some experimentation? If you hate it, you can close this book and go read something classic like Shakespeare (who wrote more double entrendres than I can ever dream of).

Oh, the answer to the question is 6.

(This book was provided as an advance copy by the publisher.)

[Meike · Rating 4 out of 5]

Highly entertaining and surprisingly informative, I really enjoyed reading James' mixture of history, science and personal anecdotes. Structured around the themes sin, pleasure, queer, kink and porn, James is here to undo sexual myths in best sex-positive feminist fashion, advocating that talking about sex means talking about empathy, and that sex as embodied experience offers insight into the human condition and should thus be discussed and studied more openly. Her focus is, as the title suggests, what is considered deviant or unusual by some, a concept that has of course changed throughout history.

While I think that the idea to present the whole thing as a dinner with kinky pioneers (good and bad, the likes of Richard von Krafft-Ebing, James Joyce, Marquis de Sade, Gertrude Stein, Virginia Woolf etc. pp.) was unnecessary, the constant innuendo that keeps the tone light was effective and indeed funny - who doesn't enjoy some dick jokes with their scientific stats? I also liked how James incorporates literature, from Sappho to Fifty Shades of Grey.

A fun, smart book, I'm curious what James will publish next.

[Maddy · Rating 2 out of 5]

The audio was so painful. So performative. Sounded like she was manically holding g back a laugh the whole time.
The dinner analogy really grated on me over time too.

[Rebekah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was excited to read this because I (like many people) find Esmé's TikToks very interesting. Unfortunately, while I learnt a lot from this book - particularly about queer history - I didn't enjoy the "dinner party" framing, and the constant use of euphemisms made it difficult to understand and follow at times (I gather they were used in part to highlight how aspects of sex and sexuality were overlooked in historical manuscripts because more modern audiences didn't understand the euphemisms used, but even so). Even so, it is definitely worth a read if you're at all interested in sex and/or history!

[liz · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book had a lot of potential but ultimately fell flat. The dinner party structure as well as the attempts at humor did nothing but bore me (as well as the constant references to TikTok, which I get is her main platform but cmon).
Some fun information and facts are provided but there was more I wished to have gotten from this book than I was provided.

[K. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Trigger warnings: nothing beyond what you'd expect based on the title *shrug*

3.5 stars

I was excited to read this for two reasons:
1. I absolutely LOVED Kate Lister's A Curious History of Sex when it came out and I was hoping this would be more of the same; and
2. I really like James' Tiktok videos.

I did enjoy this, but I think I probably would have liked it better if I hadn't read A Curious History of Sex, because it was fairly clear that Lister is both more established in her career and a more confident author where popular writing is concerned. This is not to say that this book was bad - it's definitely not! I read the whole thing in James' voice and had a delightful time.

However.

I feel like this didn't quite know what it wanted to be. The dinner party analogy didn't entirely work for me, and the statistics felt more suited to an academic text than a popular one. And while the statistics were definitely interesting, they did sometimes distract from the story James was trying to tell. So yeah. I don't think it quite found the middle ground between academic and popular writing that it was looking for, but I still enjoyed it.

[Tanika Caesar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely brilliant, I annotated this book. Genuinely entertainingly written but also so much information that I wish I knew years ago

[Tabitha - · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to @prhaudio for this ALC of Kinky History.

This is the most researched and funny history of sex I've ever read. @esme.louisee teaches so much, and is so freakin adorable while reading this. She's so fun to listen to!!

If you come from an upbringing that refused to even discuss the bedroom, it's nice to read stuff like this, educate yourself and feel safe while doing so. Highly recommend!

[Danielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would like to start off stating the following: I do not read non-fiction. Period. My friend brought this for me when she recognised the name as a content creator I follow on TikTok. So I am reading it because of her, and I don't regret it in the slightest.

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How to tell your reading a book written by an Australian without saying an Australian wrote it: "A set of legs is good if they succeed at walking, and a wombat's arsehole is good if it produces cubic poos"

Just like her tiktoks, Esmé personality shines throughout this entire book. She has made something that could be quite monotonous (referring to non-fiction, not sex) for me, to something that is rather entertaining and above all educational.

[Sadie Newkirk · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 for the horny freaks we’ve always been

[Eilish Gilligan · Rating 4 out of 5]

after some heavy fiction reads this was suuuch a fun palate cleanser and i flew through it. i loved esme's voice - such a clever and colourful way to learn!

[JJ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Did you know that James Joyce wrote erotic love letters to his wife about her farts? Or that politically motivated pornography helped to bring about the French Revolution? If the answer was no, read this book. As the author states, this book is a conversation starter. Not only will it give you facts that you can whip out at parties, it also provides an in-depth look into humanity’s sexual past, present and future that will really make you think.

[Joshua Greer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was fun! I didn’t find the “dinner setting” to be as annoying as some reviewers make it out to be. I especially enjoyed the final chapter which ensured an excellent finish!

[Magen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the history. I really hated the writing style and the bubbly delivery of the audiobook, which is narrated by the author, so... sorry I hated the way you read your book.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25. So many things learned, so many deep dives I’m about to take.

[Caro · Rating 2 out of 5]

Could've been a very great book about human sexual history, but this will get old very quickly. All the tiktok references and writing things like "juicy" or hashtags will feel aged pretty quickly. The dinner party thing was incredibly annoying and I ended up skipping those parts entirely, it didn't add anything to the story. The constant parentheses could've been reconsidered as well. I didn't like the way euphemisms were used either, it felt like an odd touch to write so often with euphemisms about sex in a sex-positive book - it didn't strike me as funny.

The target audience is very unclear here - who is this targeted for? For me as a queer person, lots of the concepts about sexuality were very familiar and quite beginner level, but the author simultaneously also makes fun of conservative people. Skipping the parts of making fun of conservatives could've opened the book up for a wider audience, maybe some conservative person who would be curious about this kind of a topic, but would be deterred based on the somewhat preachy tone of the book (because those are the people who would probably most benefit from reading this!). So basically I suppose it's targeted at young already sex positive people, reading it between the years 2024-2025. I wish I would've liked it more!

[Jackson’s Books & Music · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an incredibly informative read about the history of how societies have perceived sexuality, the laws around it, how it’s depicted in the media for better and worse, and all sorts of enlightening statistics. The book takes into account a variety of perspectives and gives much-needed attention to groups often left out of studies and discussions around these topics.

I felt the author was incredibly respectful in how she approached various topics and communities. In addition to historical examples and stories, she also gives all sorts of anecdotes from her own life and those she knows or has met that range from hilarious to heartbreaking.

Education in general is so important, especially around these issues. I feel this book is a must-read for everyone, though I know the people who would most benefit from reading it may be hesitant to pick it up. If you’re on the fence, I highly recommend checking it out!

The audiobook is narrated by the author. She does an amazing job! I look forward to reading more of her work in the future.

[Tobi ﾄﾋﾞ · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was so poorly written I don’t even know where to begin with this review. So disappointed especially since I preordered this so many months ago

[Jessica Rivers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely amazing. I always loved Esmé's TikTok, and I have been struggling to get some topics in my uni course on gender and intimacy, so I thought I would give this a read to see if it would help. She has a talent for explaining complex ideals in a very easy-to-understand way. It has given me food for thought regarding what I would like to do my final dissertation on. Definitely recommend; amazing, funny, and educational read.

[Bethany · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5⭐️
Thoroughly well researched, I loved the massive range of history that was covered. I did find the dinner party aspect a bit weird and slightly jarring at times, I wonder if it sounds better as an audio book?
Overall, I absolutely loved this book, and cannot wait to spout fun sex facts at dinners from now on 😅

[Austin Fabry · Rating 1 out of 5]

Unfortunately, sometimes you find dodgy sourcing halfway through a book, and you realise the whole book is suspect.

Sappho almost certainly didn't have a husband. There is one source for this, an entry in an 11th century Byzantine encyclopaedia, in which her husband is called Kerikles (prick) from the Island of Andros (man).

[Jamie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really pushed myself to finish this. I wanted to stop by 30%. I didn’t like the dinner party set up. I didn’t enjoy the author’s attempts at humor or the use of euphemisms. Also, a lot of the data is from Australia. I get it since that’s where she lives. There was a lot of potential for this topic but it fell flat for me.

[Nick · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are a fan of the social media posts, you will find similar enjoyment and so much more in this book. Highly accessible writing - and as a historian, let me say, great source analysis and critique.

[Gabrielle Geddes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious and fascinating.

[Leah Clifford]

The audiobook narrator REALLY didn't work for me. I tapped out at 3%.

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a book that feels especially important to read now, as, at least in America, we live in a society where people on all sides of the political spectrum seem to be growing more and more conservative in terms of views on sex. It's a very concise but cohesive view on everything to gender, to sexuality to sex toys, and everything in between! James does a really great job at taking huge, abstract concepts that span a lot of time and space and summarizing it in an entertaining, easy-to-understand way. Overall, a very fun and informative book.

That being said, it was by no means perfect. James' use of euphemisms were funny and clever at first, but, as she wedged them in more and more (in a few places, there were multiple quippy euphemisms in a single sentence, which were not funny or smart enough to be charming, so it just came across as over-the-top and needlessly muddling my enjoyment and understanding of the information.), it just just kept annoying me. Another was the "dinner party" set up? At first, I thought it was a cool, albeit different, framing device, but as it got more involved and more detailed, it was, again, just annoying. She spends a lot of time setting up these elaborate scenes, scenarios, and metaphors, in my opinion, it didn't really add anything of note? It's usually just used to introduce a historical figure or piece of media that one certain chapter evaluates or references, but, again, when it is in book form (or even audio form, because I read this), it just really fell flat.
That being said, if she could secure a deal for a mini-series or something with a streaming service, this dinner party setup would be INCREDIBLE. I just think it is the type of thing that really only works in a visual medium.

[Brittany · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've enjoyed listening to the author on her instagram posts so I knew I wanted to listen to this book as she narrates it herself. Parts of it I found highly entertaining, other parts were just well done history, just of a "kinkier" nature than typically told. However, I found pieces went on longer than necessary and while the dinner table format was intriguing at first, it made for too much filler.

Some entertaining tidbits from the earlier part of the book include: Crocodile feces and honey being inserted like a tampon to be used as a contraceptive; the foot of a female weasel being cut off but leaving the weasel alive, drying it and hanging it around a woman's neck would mean she wouldn't concieve a child but the moment she removed it she would become pregnant; Kellog and his antisex crusades; the first dildo has been dated back to 28000 years ago; Kanamara Masuri. There were a lot of interesting bits of history and what was considered normal and the time as well as where some ideas came from.

“How could the use of sex toys be seen as radical today if we were using them back in the prehistoric era? How could fetishes be so shocking if we were already idolizing feet back in Aristotle's day?”

The later half of the book moves more into statistics and education. There's a reminder that results of polls are skewed by who is involved in taking them as well as how various terms are defined. With there being many beliefs on what constitutes sex, or queer behaviour, if these terms are not outlined in what way the researcher is thinking of them in, the results may not coming back as valid as they should. Esme talks about gender, porn, and sexuality in general.

Good book, worth a listen for anyone who sees this and is at all interested.

[Sarah Wahl · Rating 4 out of 5]

I knew I was going to like this book when Dr. Esme Louise James announced she would be publishing something!! I found her on Tik Tok, as many others have, and fell in love with the content she makes. It is a special interest of mine, and I have written essays regarding sexuality and would like to write more on topics such as this. It is always fun to see how people of the past aren't as prudish as we have made them out to be. I do have to say, I was also excited to read this book because I filled out the survey that she mentions throughout the book, so my answers are recorded! It was fun to look at the statistics and remember what I put & also seeing the percentages affiliated with it. :) Now, I do think that being a fan did make reading this book seem repetitive, as a lot of the notions discussed were also mentioned in her podcast. It didn't make it less enjoyable, I just felt like nothing was being added to what was already said. As others have mentioned in other reviews, I also had a slight difficulty with the dinner party storytelling aspect. I think it would have worked better if Dr. James had written it as these historical figures talking to the audience, and not just the speaker referencing them and then going into their story. Despite this, I still had a fun time and I now want to do my own research!
3.5 stars rounded up to 4

[Ashley (Red-Haired Ash Reads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

After following James’ Kinky History videos on Instagram, I knew I needed to read this book. She always presents the kinky facts from history in a fun and easy to understand manner. This book is just a longer version of that.

James uses a mixture of history, science, and personal anecdote to tell the history of kink. She uses a dinner party as a framing device to showcase various well-known people from history and their proclivities and dives further into the history of that kink. This was an extremely well researched book and James does a great job at presenting the information in a fun and easy to read manner. As she presents this history, she is also teaching us to be more tolerant of people’s sexual choices and learn to embrace our own sexuality.

Overall, this was a wonderful and fascinating look at the history of kink. I highly recommend this book if you are interested in the history of kink because James really does a great job at presenting this information in an educated and celebratory way.

[SmutMistress · Rating 5 out of 5]

My Review:
5 ⭐️ 3 🌶️

If you think kinks and queer identities are a modern fad, Kinky History is here to spank that notion right out of you. Esmé Louise James serves up a wildly entertaining, well-researched deep dive into humanity’s long, messy, and often eyebrow-raising sexual past—complete with an imaginary dinner party featuring historical icons like Julius Caesar and Virginia Woolf spilling their dirtiest secrets.

From ancient contraception nightmares to the politics of porn, James proves that nothing in the bedroom (or beyond) is truly new—just recycled with better branding. Her sharp wit and academic chops make this both an enlightening and laugh-out-loud read. Perfect for history nerds, kink-curious folks, and anyone who wants to scandalize their fellow commuters with a bold book cover. So grab a copy and get ready to learn—because history has always been down to Roman around.