Natacha Merritt Digital Diaries

by Natacha Merritt

Anyone who has seen her Digital Diaries has intimate knowledge of Natacha Merritt. And of her Friends, male and female, and her acquaintances as well. But Merritt's favourite motif is herself: she poses almost every minute of the day for her camera, taking photographs of herself in bed, in the shower, having sex with her friend, masturbating with and without accessories, from every imaginable angle and with the camera usually at arm's length. Merritt, born 1977, works with a digital camera, the Polaroid of the 90s, breaking down the most intimate details into universally accessible bits of information.
Eric Kroll came across Natacha Merritt by chance in the internet, where she had put several of her photographs. This was something that left the tradition of classical pin-up and fetish photography, in which Kroll himself works, far behind. Face to face with Merritt's photographs one can reflect on intimacy and publicity in the digital age, on narcissism even, or on radical self-exploration with the help of the camera. But this all sounds better as Natacha Merritt herself puts it: in her view, she has found a new mode of masturbating her way into the next millennium.

Genres: Photography, Art, Nonfiction, Erotica, Sexuality, Memoir

256 pages, Hardcover

First published March 15, 2000

Reviews

[okyrhoe · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of those books I picked up by chance at the bookstore, and was intrigued by the casual, almost surreal, aesthetic of the photographs. A fresh and original perspective, maybe overly self-reflective at times, but definitely one that remains after going through the rest of the selections on the shelf.

It's point of view that dominates the theme and mood of these images. The lens invades spaces rarely seen before. At least not in publishable media. Images where the eye, the nose, the mouth are in the foreground, while the breasts, the belly, or the hips become the (inconsequential) background. Merritt creates a distance between consciousness and the body. The moment is captured by focusing on the facial expression - sometimes involved, sometimes blank – rather than the experience of the body.
I think she has some way to go, because the girls are still posing for her and/or for the lens. They see themselves reflected in the photograph before the image has been captured, and this self-consciousness is evident throughout the photo collection.
It might be, though, that this is what Natacha intends to depict: even in the most intimate of acts, we are not giving up our self wholly, to the other, or to the moment. A part of our consciousness observes our own body, and the mind's eye is ever watchful as it re-positions/re-frames/edits the pose, the act, the touch, the expression.
It is not circumstantial then, midway through the book's series of images, I notice that Natacha prefers female subjects who most resemble herself. I can't always tell which girl is Natacha and which girl is the model/friend. They have the same physique; they paint their eyes and mouth in similar fashion. They are all a variation of one individual, one point of view. The photographer and the subject become one and the same. All images are self-portraits.
When Natacha is in the frame along with one of her subjects, it is as if I am looking at a pair of sisters, of twins, or two aspects of the same person. One Natacha kisses a foot, while another Natacha stands behind, watching the kissing, and the third Natacha beyond the frame is observing both and capturing them in the image.
I become the fourth Natacha, trying to make sense out of the other three.

[Shelli · Rating 3 out of 5]

You've got to admire Natacha Merritt for getting an actual physical book of her selfies published waaaaaay back in 2000 – before shooting digitally became the standard and selfies became a thing. (Digital Diaries can claim the distinction of being the very first book of digital photographs to ever be printed.) It's hard to remember that once upon a time, not everyone with an online presence akin to today's Instagram feeds got handed, as a matter of course, a book deal in which they could just recycle all their online content. Of course, it helps that Natacha and her friends were all mostly naked and having sex, but to her (additional?) credit, she really had – even back then at the tender age of 23 – a very unique and ethereal style: moody, atmospheric, and thereby sometimes exhibiting a surprising contrast to the hardcore sex acts the photos depict. It's a cohesive body of work, as opposed to the patchwork hodgepodge one would expect to see in a collection of digital selfies.

There are production details too that are really praiseworthy: a gorgeous cover, with its small, bright orange accent wrapper and silver embossing, a tight color scheme, bold and striking typography (although now a bit dated, as it was definitely recognizable as part of that late-90s sans serif, computer-generated-looking trend), nice heft, high-quality glossy paper, and a sewn-in bookmark. I'd have given the volume four stars, were it not for the following complaints:

• It's got a cumbersome layout: it's in landscape orientation and the binding is along the long end, so you're turning pages up and away from you directly opposite the leading edge of the book, as opposed to the normal right-to-left page-turning process. It feels unnatural, and it's hard to read in any comfortable and non-awkward way except to lie it flat on a surface in front of you, and even then it consistently requires both of your hands to hold it open. (Umm… I swear I did not mean that as the risqué double entendre it just came out as!) I get that the design decision was likely made to accommodate the aspect ratio of your garden variety landscape-oriented image, but it might have been better to preserve the detail afforded by image size by upping the overall dimensions of the book instead.

• If the designers were trying to conserve/maximize space with the above-mentioned format, then they threw most of the savings away with an inordinate amount of white space - there were many completely blank pages, yet others would have four images jammed onto it.

• Just way too many penises for my personal taste. YMMV.

In summary (TL;dr), I found the content of Digital Diaries to be top-notch, but in putting it together, I think the designers were gunning too much for bleeding edginess, instead letting the form of the book follow its function.

[Nikki Morrigan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Literally one of the MOST erotic, striking things I've ever come across. (Maybe I should rephrase that. Actually, no.. I shouldn't ;-) )

[Vanessa G. · Rating 4 out of 5]

another stolen naughty book.

[Svalbard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Verso la fine degli anni 90, il fotografo d’erotismo nonché collaboratore della casa editrice Taschen Verlag Eric Kroll, navigando in rete, si imbattè negli autoscatti di una giovanissima ragazza franco-californiana (con qualche ascendenza maghrebina), Natacha Merritt. Ne fu piacevolmente impressionato; ricordiamoci che quelli erano i primordi dell’uso di massa del mezzo Internet, non erano nati ancora siti strutturati in cui chi volesse potesse inserire i propri scatti “proibiti” più o meno artistici, tipo Ishotmyself, men che meno uno strumento di proporzioni epocali tipo Facebook.Gli scatti di Natacha Merritt, realizzati con una macchinetta digitale (strumento che, anch’esso, all’epoca era ancora alquanto primordiale rispetto agli standard odierni) manifestarono immediatamente agli occhi dello “scafatissimo” artista un substrato erotico sottilissimo, fatto di autocontemplazione, desiderio, compiacimento dell’immagine e delle forme. Kroll decise di contattare la ragazza, e di proporle una pubblicazione della Taschen. Lei, comprensibilmente, fu all’inizio alquanto diffidente; poi, quando si rese conto di aver a che fare con un “vero” fotografo anche piuttosto quotato, accettò di buon grado la possibilità che lui le offriva. Da parte sua, fu lui a trovarsi alquanto spiazzato; sia per l’ignoranza tecnica della Merritt (di lei disse che non sapeva la differenza tra f-stop, ovvero i passi del diaframma della macchina fotografica, e bus-stop, ovvero fermata dell’autobus), sia, anche e soprattutto, per la spontaneità e quasi il candore erotico di lei, per la quale fotografarsi da sola o “in azione” assieme al suo partner era un fatto assolutamente naturale, venuto spontaneo assieme alle sue prime esperienze sessuali a sedici anni o poco più. Per la quale, poi, fotografare e fotografarsi era un modo originale di tenere un diario. Ancora: lei ammetteva candidamente che legare il sesso del suo lui non era tanto dovuto a velleità BDSM quanto al fatto che in questo modo l’erezione, a fini fotografici, veniva potenziata e durava più a lungo... o quanto le sembrasse strano far firmare la liberatoria alle amiche o alle coppie che si erano proposte per farsi fotografare da lei, come premessa per quella che sarebbe stata, senza se e senza ma, una notte d’amore... Non solo: il professionista decise di “prestare” alla giovane amica la sua modella prediletta, Felice. La quale venne fuori dalla sessione di posa più morta che viva, affermando che la ragazza, fotograficamente parlando (e non solo, forse...) era una furia scatenata che per le lunghe ore di una notte non le aveva dato un attimo di tregua... Il libro fu pubblicato, ed è questo. Le foto sono splendide, ma non perché tecnicamente perfette, o platealmente esplicite: piuttosto perché hanno una spontaneità sorprendente, sono esattamente quello che vogliono essere, ovvero memo per immagini di storie erotiche vissute in prima persona, spesso colte al volo, con i soggetti deformati dal grandangolo o dal ravvicinato, occhi o bocche o il braccio che regge la fotocamera in primissimo piano, letti disfatti, vasche da bagno, camere d’albergo in grandi città... Lei, fotograficamente parlando, sarà anche un’ignorante di teoria, ma ha un occhio straordinario per le inquadrature, e una capacità notevole di trasformare in risorse i limiti evidenti di una fotocamera economica e poco versatile. Oltre alle foto ci sono testi, pagine della stessa Merritt in cui racconta di sé, delle sue foto o dei suoi ricordi correlati ad esse, appunto in forma diaristica; nonché l’ampia prefazione ed un’intervista di Eric Koll. Un gran bel libro, una gran bella scoperta. Grazie all’antologia di foto erotica curata da Dian Henson, da me già recensita, che me l’ha fatta scoprire. Bella, poi, la dedica alla mamma, “che mi ha insegnato l’amore senza condizioni...”

[StrictlySequential · Rating 2 out of 5]

Don't let this stop you from reading it but know that it's a period piece which has lost its luster to the masses. At face value, with 2019 eyes and expectations, it's just porch. The pictures don't say what they did at the time or stand up to technology.

Even if I don't like it or personally feel it's a waste of time (both in this case) you won't hear this from me until now: SKIP THE INTRODUCTION . It hurts the work, confuses and is pathetically pandering. Eric Kroll's (never liked the guy) wrote it and made me nauseous with his usual deification of new fringe artists as if they come close to the level of quality to the legends to whom he compares them. She's so hip and sexy and he's a weirdo, pervert with perky penis which is ideal for his work but creepy to read. Stay BEHIND the camera and leave the words to people who aren't in a sexual thrall. I've seen hundreds of pictures he's taken and he has insufficient "cred" when it comes to self-modeling which is the entirety of the work he is reviewing! ESPECIALLY because this artist and her work are about as feminine as you will find. He probably begged (literally) to do the introduction and Tacha forced Taschen to publish it.

When I became aware that the book was published way back in 2000 (copyright page in back of this book) I realized that I had to reset my outlook to be fair to an artist I now appreciate in appropriate context. I'm lucky to be three years younger than Natacha so I could take the whole thing in as myself at the ages I was as the book progressed chronically from 1993 to 1999.

THEN it becomes very interesting and quite shocking (to a pre-virginal American boy of 12 in 1993) seeing a fifteen year old photographing herself taste-testing some hairless tot's tiny twig!

BUT THIS IS NOT PORNOGRAPHY- IT IS INTERESTING, ORIGINAL AND HONEST ART AT THE MOST PERSONAL LEVEL. It's very rough around the edges and lacks the depth of experience but that's the stage it is performing on and its what makes it a worthy achievement beyond personal opinions.

The more she writes the more depressing it gets. A confused girl trying to make sense of herself in a radical way can be interesting yet by the time she is 21 she is depending on life-affirming comfort from a camera lens. The pictures take forever to get any value beyond anatomy because the rest is vague emotions framed by progressively less-dumpy rooms.

CENTRAL THEME of the Entire Book :
"It makes sense to ask all my lovers to sign a model release before we have sex, because the camera must come to bed with me."

The composition, scenery, props, emotions and models get increasingly better towards the end but it's too late to feel any success or solid happiness for her as a person. Since the photos succeed in bringing you inside of her you'll probably wish her well but I left the exhibit hoping she got sick of it soon after.

I must have said "poor girl, why..." 20 times.

[Michelle now at StoryGraph · Rating 4 out of 5]

Where is the line between pornography, exploitation, and sexual exploration? It's a difficult, sensitive, and riské subject. This book was uncomfortable and shocking, but surprisingly enlightening - driving me to question my own definitions of exploitation and exploration. Photography is art, and good art should sometimes cause the viewer to experience discomfort. I admire this photographer and this project and appreciate her courage and persistence in pursuing such a taboo subject.

[John Gannon · Rating 3 out of 5]

too long I lost interest half way through due to the uninspired, repetitive nature of her sexual proclivities and struggled to get to the mediocre ending.

[Paul · Rating 2 out of 5]

I can remember first looking at this book four years ago, not long after it was published, and if I'd rated it at the time I would have given it four stars, at least.

So, now it's four years later, and I'm giving it two stars. What's up with that? What's changed?

Somewhat, it's that in the intervening years the world has been deluged with digital photography in every medium, including erotica, and with any deluge comes a boredom factor. This material no longer seems fresh or new or particularly daring, and the philosophies expressed in the short writing segments do nothing to break from an endless litany of similarly vapid comments I can find on any porn-angst chat list, should I so wish to visit them.

And, more to the point, with that shine off, I was able to take a more thoughtful look at this work, and I find it lacking in humanity. Erotica (for me) demands personality, and this book is primarily an endless montage of close-ups, no different than a porn shoot. There are quite a few naughty bits, to be sure, but very few people.

And there was another missing ingredient that I couldn't put my finger on until the very last photo of the book, which is shot from (presumably) a hotel window, overlooking a city.

Yeah...a city. A place. THAT'S what the book was lacking for me. Context. It was pretty much the only photograph in the entire book that established anything close to an environment.

Without character, without context, without humanity, the scope of this book becomes as much medical as it does erotic.

[Mark Stalcup · Rating 2 out of 5]

Way back in 1992, when I was editor of my college newspaper, my staff had a running joke about trying to obtain a review copy of Madonna's "Sex" - then the current cause celebre for controversy. Of course, nobody'd ever send us one, but someone did finagle a copy from the now-closed local bookstore. Being a group of hormonally crazed college kids, we thumbed through it and were mostly nonplussed, wondering what all the fuss was about. I mention this because a decade later, the indie paper I wrote for did get a copy of then cause celebre Natacha Merritt's book. It IS what people believed Madonna's "Sex" to be: grainy, grimy, close-up, gynecological, dehumanizing at points, extreme, VERY graphic, and rife with the sort of acts that will offend a great many. It's hard to debate Merritt is easy on the eyes; she is. Whether she was the postmodern version of Anais Nin using point-and-shoots instead of words, the archetype of the Suicide Girl, a would-be porno queen for the smart set, or just an exhibitionist catching the eye of the fringes is, however, debatable, and the fact is, given her career after this book (not much) she may have painted herself into a corner with her initial opus. Where do you go after the bondage and fellatio pics? Portraits of happy little trees? Methinks not. And her subsequent fall from notoriety seems to have borne that out.

[Miguelangelo Hexylvania · Rating 5 out of 5]

I remember when this bookk came out. It was super controversial and a fairly new twist on a concept that blazed the path originally brought to light by the likes of Larry Clark, Jan Saudek Hunter S. Thompson and Bill Henson. Magnificently strange, crudely digitized portrayals of young lust and a never-ending void of exploration/discovery.

Viewed by some to be ahead of her time, and yawned-away by others as the simple, cheap narcissistic pornography of a would-be, in it's best of scenarios.
(Mostly) told through the Gonzo-like eyes of Natacha Merritt at the age of like 19 or something, with strange friends and strangers alike, these are her Digital Diaries.

[DoctorM · Rating 4 out of 5]

Digital erotica done by Natacha Merritt in 1999/2000, when she was 21/22... Something I discovered through Nerve.com long. long ago, when both the Web and digital photography were new. Not the Helmut Newton/Rebecca Blake/David Hamilton/early Jeff Dunas style I usually like--- very urban-noir and hard-edged. But as neo-punk photo-erotica it's excellent, and her commentaries are very much worth reading.

[John Van der vuurst · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has setted the scene for sites like Ishotmyself and many more alike. It is a photobook containing, what we now call selfies, of the author solo, or with her male and female friends in sexual explicit poses and situations. It makes you feel a voyeurist, while the thruth is that the author and main model is besides a good photographer and artist, also an exhibitionist pur-sang.

Great book for everybody who loves photobooks and a bit of erotic now and then.

[Emily Kramer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oh Natacha, Natahca, who knew what a soothsayer you would turn out to be? Well, we did. We pointed a finger at you long ago, when you were first running around with a digital camera taking photos of the men you brought home with you. I wonder if you will survive this fantasy of sexual pursuit, or if some wolf will appear from the deep dark scary woods and make you pay for your pleasure.

[Tim · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very candid self-portrait photography book from a time when digital cameras were expensive and crude.

Though I'm not so bold to photograph and publish myself nude, this book was an inspiration to me to photograph more and worry less about the technical deficiencies of early digital cameras.

[Craig · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mid-grade erotic photography. The artist's youth is apparent.

[Rosie · Rating 4 out of 5]

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