Dear Ruben,
here is my suggestion: Your email from this morning was so nice and everyone reading it will notice the joy you had writing it. So why not post this one as your review? All I'll do is to replace the quotes from the older draft with quotes from the final draft and put a note at the end (from me, explaining how this all happened). Here it is, tell me what you think:
Oh, Annelie!, you mean that I got a Samizdat Wikileaks copy of Devil's Grin? I'm so lucky!, I should rush to buy a lottery ticket!, but frankly, your novel is much better than a million dollars, let me tell you why, (you asked for it, so now you take it and like it! [This is a joke])
First things first; the last paragraph of the file I got is:
"...and I can only think that this is a bad sign, very bad indeed. His name was Professor James Moriarty."(1)
Is this the ending of the novel?, it certainly seems a very fine ending in a cliffhanger; I want to read your next Dr. Kronberg novel!
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There are many firsts in your novel, and I have read many detective novels, written by male and female authors, (and yet I didn't know Laurie King existed!), so all I can say is that judging from my experience, there are several impressive firsts in your novel.
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There are many fine points in your novel, let me tell you about one that stunned me, in my experience it is the first time a detective cries because of the horror he or she just experienced. Dr. Kronberg tells us that after discovering what was happening in Broadmoor's oven:
"I lay flat on the thick branch and wept."(2)
The humanity of Dr. Kronberg moved me.
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It is also the first time a detective discusses Jack The Ripper with Sherlock Holmes, and also the first time in my experience that a detective offers this new point of view upon the his crimes. Dr. Kronberg tells Holmes:
"Due to my occupation I do come across a rather large number of stab wounds and one of the peculiar things I noticed was that almost all women with knife wounds in their lower abdomen were victims of attempted rape. And all of those who survived the attack reported the rapist used a knife because he was unable to penetrate them, he was unable to produce an erection. Doesn’t that add a totally different angle to the Ripper’s motives?"(3)
Annelie, you are a great profiler!
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Ana Kronberg's lover is great:
"Sometimes, he with his orange mane and his coarse tongue and paws, made me think of a lion."(4)
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The way you situate Dr. Kronberg and Sherlock Holmes in the physical world is very memorable:
"Holmes’s face flushed in excitement and he slapped his hand on the table. Darkness fell. A loud clatter told us the silverware had jumped off the ledge."(5)
And:
"The glass I had spoken to had gotten cloudy."(6)
This is delicious:
"The horse bolted, the cabby shouted, and we were joggled about like chocolate candy in a box."(7)
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How so very English and so very Holmesian that this shocking scene only seems to impress Sherlock:
"Holmes stumbled two steps backwards. The sight of a naked woman, alabaster against an obsidian lake, seemed to have left an impression. "(8)
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But the best of the surprises of this fine novel, is the psychology of the detective. The author lets the reader glimpse the thoughts of Dr. Kronberg at intense moments in a marvelous and revealing way:
When Ana Kronberg is pursued by a group of menacing teenagers at night:
"I started running as fast as I could, trying to picture a forest around me, to make me feel safer or more self-assured."(9)
When she is injured in the back of her head:
"The bald patch there was as ugly as a scorched forest."(10)
It's only real people like Dr. Kronberg and me (Rubén) who confess:
"I have to confess Watson’s narrative annoyed me a little."(11)
Sometimes more than a little, but how human and perceptive and intelligent of Dr. Kronberg to be irritated by the same idiosyncrasies of Watson as me!
When Dr. Kronberg is examining the prisoners:
"Anything but die on cholera while being strapped onto a bunk."(12)
The double life she lives affords deep insights:
"Living disguised as a man had given me a radically broader view on humanity... Sometimes I felt the insane urge to tell them all to cross-dress. How would the world change?"(13)
But the most extraordinary revelation of Ana Kronberg's soul comes from her dream:
"He stood behind me, planted a kiss on my shoulder, then opened my shirt with his left hand, and pulled it aside. His right hand held a knife. Slowly he slit my abdomen open; I meant to scream but could not make a single sound. Lazily he pulled my intestines out and draped them over both my shoulders."(14)
Why does she have this dream?
Literary folklore (which of course knows everything and is never wrong) says that Chekhov established the first rule of theatre: "If you show a gun in the first act, you have to shoot with it in the third", (I have never been able to discover exactly where did Chekhov wrote this rule, but someday I'll find where).
This dream of Ana Kronberg is the gun in the first act, so I candidly thought the author was going to shoot with it in the third and reveal the origin of Ana's dream; but the novel ended with that particular gun's virginity untouched, is the author going to reveal Ana's mystery to us in the next Kronberg novel?
Why is Ana dreaming Jack The Ripper murders her, but, please notice that before slitting her abdomen, Jack plants a kiss in her shoulder, why, why, why?
Why is Jack behind her?
Why is Jack murdering her?
Why couldn't she make a sound?
Ana Kronberg has other unexplained dreams, and that makes her mysterious and attractive, her soul is revealed, but the revelation is another alluring mystery to be investigated.
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I enjoyed Dr. Kronberg's visit to Robert Koch's laboratory in Berlin, I wish I could visit too.
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The clipped dialog between two extremely intelligent persons, Dr. Kronberg and Holmes, is extremely enjoyable:
"He didn’t even notice his getting cold. I had almost finished eating as he seemed to return to the present: ‘Do you think we can heard the Oriole’s call in the Berkshire?’
Hastily, I swallowed the last bit of pork before inhaling it accidentally, opened my mouth, and closed it again with a snap. After a moment of consideration I answered: ‘Broadmoor Lunatic Asylum? "(15)
And I think dialogue is the most authentic way an author can characterize, humanize and make believable her (his) characters, it is also the most difficult, and it is extremely difficult when one of them is Sherlock Holmes and the other is her character. However, Annelie Wendeberg aces with flying colors this obstacle and we feel Sherlock's reactions to Ana Kronberg are absolutely, palpably, genuine Sherlock Holmes in the flesh.
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Annelie, why is it that we admire Sherlock Holmes but we are unsatisfied with him?, we want him to be our friend, our lover, and we rewrite his story to make him almost human without changing his fascinating personality. I think you manage to make him a bit more humane and more likable than the original, without changing his personality, but let me tell you, Ana Kronberg interests me much more than Sherlock.
Is it because I already know Sherlock's story and I don't know Ana Kronberg's? The answer is no. Ana is fascinating, even when placed beside Sherlock Holmes, and that is an impressive achievement, congratulations.
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What I have said so far does not exhaust the many fine points that stand out of your novel, but I managed to ask the most poignant questions your novel and Dr. Kronberg forced me to wonder.
So you see I'm a big fan of yours, and as member of the jury I award you: First Place.
your fan:
Rubén
P.S. I enjoyed writing this letter to you. Hope you like it.
Note by the author: A few days ago I got an email from Ruben, telling me how very much he enjoyed the novel and quoted a line from chapter three. I almost got a heart attack! He had read the entire novel before its publication date, because one very tired night I had accidentially posted a full-length draft instead of the updated first chapter.
I swallowed, pulled the draft off Goodreads and posted chapter one again. But I got curious and asked Ruben what he thought about the novel. After all, he was my first reader. This morning I got his email. I loved it so much that I asked him whether he would like to post it as his text review. He happily agreed.
Thank you Ruben!