How to Expect What You're Not Expecting: Stories of Pregnancy, Parenthood, and Loss

by Jessica Hiemstra (Editor), Lisa Martin-Demoor (Editor), Kim Jernigan (Foreword)

One size fits all does not apply to pregnancy and childbirth. Each one is different, unique, and comes with its share of pleasure and pain. But how does one prepare for an unexpected loss of a pregnancy or hoped-for baby? In How to Expect What You're Not Expecting, writers share their true stories of miscarriage, stillbirth, infertility, and other, related losses. This literary anthology picks up where some pregnancy books end and offers diverse, honest, and moving essays that can prepare and guide women and their families for when the unforeseen happens.

Contributors include Chris Arthur, Kim Aubrey, Janet Baker, Yvonne Blomer, Jennifer Bowering Delisle, Kevin Bray, Erika Connor, Sadiqa de Meijer, Jessica Hiemstra, Fiona Tinwei Lam, Lisa Martin-DeMoor, Lorri Neilsen Glenn, Susan Olding, Laura Rock, Gail Marlene Schwartz, Maureen Scott Harris, Carrie Snyder, Cathy Stonehouse, and Chris Tarry.

The fourth book in a loosely linked series of anthologies about the twenty-first-century family, How to Expect What You're Not Expecting follows Somebody's Child, Nobody's Mother, and Nobody's Father, essay collections about adoption and childless adults. Together, these four books challenge readers to re-examine traditional definitions of the concept of "family."

256 pages, Paperback

First published September 17, 2013

Reviews

[Laura Frey (Reading in Bed) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been putting this off for... oh... a year and a half. And it was a review book. Then I devoured it in a day and a half. I would recommend this book to anyone who is a parent, or wants to be, whether or not you've lost a pregnancy or child. As this collection reminded me, the luckiest parents in the world will still learn something about loss through their experiences.

[Cynthia Thomeer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book of essays by people who have experienced miscarriages, stillborn births, infertility, heart-wrenching decisions, surprises and more. It’s not a light read, but I was deeply moved by these stories and I hope it makes me a more compassionate person.

[Literary Mama]

After my first miscarriage in 2001, I searched in vain for books on the subject. Apart from the dry and directive pamphlets put out by fertility specialists and grief counselors, there were few options. Though invisible to most people, my loss was a gaping gulf that separated me from the rest of the maternal world, from those whose parental lives were proceeding as planned. This lack of supportive and insightful reading on the subject reinforced my sense of isolation, deepening my loss. In this lonely and barren place, a book such as How to Expect What You're Not Expecting edited by Jessica Hiemstra and Lisa Martin-Demoor, would have been most welcome.

How to Expect is a wise book and a much-needed addition to the now slowly expanding collection of books about pregnancy and loss...

Read Literary Mama's full review here: http://www.literarymama.com/reviews/a...

[Noella Baird · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started this book in 2018 when we were going through the miscarriage of our 3rd baby Avery and finally finished it today 2020. It took me 2 years to read this one. It's a tough one to read especially when you have gone through the loss of loved ones close to you. This book was also hard to read because every story is told by a different person with different writing styles and some seem to be rambling on and on with no aim or structure in sight. That's how I felt reading this book. Our firstborn son Micah was stillborn at 27 weeks which compounded the feelings of loss that resurfaced when reading this book. I am glad that it's finally over and I can say I finally completed this book. When reading most of the stories in this book you can see each author's struggle to express in words how they encountered and dealt with loss in whatever forms they came. Thank you for taking the time to share your experiences with us. It's a comfort to know we are not alone in our grief and losses.

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

A reflective retrospective featuring incredibly talented and brave writers