The stories of the children in the orphanages are so terrible I just hope they aren't the same now.it is as if the nun and care takers were punishing the children for their own lack of love-- one would expect the opposite. terrible stories also emerge from the 1960 about unmarried girls getting pregnant and their dreadful treatment by religious societies and supposed helpful agencies.
The Mail recently published a series of articles describing the trauma and torment suffered by unmarried women in the 50s to the 70s, in Canada, my home country. According to the article, Canada like America lived in a sexual time warp: women with illegitimate children were left to struggle alone against a judgmental world. The great crime of youth, having sex ‘out of wedlock’ was unforgivable and considered entirely the girls fault even though it was often the boy pressuring the girl to prove her love. I remember my own complete ignorance about sexual matters and the difficulty of buying contraceptives; it was that girls weren’t supposed to know about such things. It wasn’t proper!
In The Mail article one of the girls said: ‘Perhaps it is hard to believe now at a time when condoms are available from dispensers in high school washrooms, that in 1969 the dissemination of contraceptives or even information about contraception was illegal. A Toronto pharmacist was jailed in 1960 for selling condoms. We all knew what it meant to be pregnant and unwed. The warnings were loud and clear: your life would be ruined; you would be kicked out of school, perhaps out of home, and branded a slut or a tramp. There were options, of a sort. Abortions could be had, but they were illegal, expensive, and usually dangerous. You could get married, but a shotgun wedding brought its own kind of shame and was not the best option in which to bring up children.’
Apparently according to the article most pregnant girls just disappeared into homes run by religious organizations—in Canada they were primarily Roman Catholic or Salvation Army. The girls were hidden from view until the babies were born and (in most cases) given up for adoption. The girl then returned home to forget she’d ever had a baby, as if she could. The worst story takes place not in Canada but in Lancaster England. Suzan was 13 when she got pregnant in 1967, her boyfriend 14. She says, ‘It was the headmistress at my school who first worked it out I was pregnant as neither of us had any idea. I was sentenced to two years’ supervision and my boyfriend to six months in borstal. I was taken, alone, to St Monica’s Mother and Baby Home in Kendal, Cumbria, which was run by very strict nuns. It was a workhouse, really. The dormitories were barren—no curtains or lockers or comforts of any kind. We had to attend religious services as a kind of penance and were dragged out of bed at 5am and sent down to the basement’s big stone sinks to scrub the soiled nappies. The way I understood it, the adoption of my son at six weeks was part of my sentence.’
I find it unbelievable that they could treat a child in such a way in the supposed liberal times of 1967 England. About the same time period, my neighbor in Italy, a restaurant cook, discovered her 15-year-old daughter was six months pregnant. The family as well as the daughter considered the boyfriend unacceptable as a husband so the child was integrated into the family and brought up as part of my neighbor’s family. Very humane!
In spite of France being a Catholic country that banned the use of contraceptives until 1967 it has always had a low birth rate (they invented the Rhythm Method). More surprising is that young people having sex seemed to be taken for granted. Couples just called each other fiancée, some sort of equivalent to being married. Unwed pregnancies and illegitimate children did not carry the Anglo Saxon stigma. Children had the same status as legitimate children and today almost 50 percent of births are to unmarried couples.
I thought the 13-year-old Suzan had been deprived of her rights because she was a minor till I read the account of Jennifer Evans, in North London. ‘It was 1968; I was 25 and unmarried. My family, who were wealthy, could have helped me! When I was seven months pregnant I moved to a home for unmarried mothers and babies in Wimbledon, run by the C of E. My little girl was born in April 1969. I did manage to keep her at first. I lied that the father was coming back and then we would marry. My mother could not bear the shame and after six months kicked me out. I realized the hopelessness of my situation and my daughter’s bleak future. She was adopted when she was ten months old.’ Jennifer sounds middle-class and not dumb so I'm surprised she lacked the ability to find the necessary help, which was readily available in 1968.