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So Much It Hurts
Iris is an aspiring actress, so when Mick, a well-known visiting Aussie director, takes an interest in her, she's flattered. He's fourteen years older, attractive, smart, charming and sexy―in other words, nothing like her hapless ex-boyfriend, Tommy. But when Iris and Mick start a secret relationship, she soon witnesses Mick's darker side, and his temper frightens her. Before long, she becomes the target of his rage, but she makes endless excuses for him. Isolated and often in pain, Iris struggles to continue going to school, where she is preparing for her role as Ophelia. When her family and friends begin to realize that something is terribly wrong, Iris defends her man, but she also takes the first tentative steps toward self-preservation.
288 pages, Paperback
First published September 1, 2013
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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
April 1, 2019
It was nice quick read . It was a very fast pace book. I like the whole hamlet feel to it. It was a role playing story. I feel that this book should be a adult book.
January 27, 2025
3.5 ⭐️
I think this book is highly underrated on this app.
I would recommend it for everyone to read as it gives a deep, meaningful message about domestic violence, and the horrors of it.
Iris, the main character, meets Mick who’s 14 years older than her. Their relationship starts off perfectly - he is the man for her. Until she begins witnessing his dark side, and soon, Iris has become Mick’s target.
Throughout the whole book Iris is accepting this treatment because she thinks this is all she deserves, she would never admit to herself that their relationship is toxic.
She would always defend Mick and apologize for making him mad.
This is what made me frustrated with Iris. Her character was portrayed as weak and unworthy of love, which made me have a negative view on her. It made me question whether she really thinks she deserves the violence, or she was just in denial.
Mick is the opposite of a perfect boyfriend. He can’t control his temper and he takes out his anger on his young, innocent and frail girlfriend. It doesn’t occur to him that he’s doing something wrong, because he’s convinced himself it’s okay.
Mick abuses Iris not just physically but emotionally as well.
And this is why Iris is eager to stay in the relationship for so long, because Mick is a manipulative boyfriend.
He gets in her head, a small voice saying “you can never leave me, and even if you wanted to, you’d be too damn scared to go through with it”.
The deeper I got into the book, the more my views changed on Iris.
At first, I thought this is all she settles for because she is weak. But I slowly learn how much courage it takes to leave an abusive boyfriend.
It’s as if she’s put in a cage, but it wasn’t locked. She could always escape, but she doesn’t know it.
She doesn’t know she’s capable, she doesn’t know she deserves better.
The book in its entirety was amazing, although it was very hard to read, as I became continuously frustrated with Iris. I kept thinking “how long will she keep this going?”, “how bad does it have to get in order for her to leave?”
And at last, she comes to her senses, and leaves her boyfriend. Well, she always knew this is what she had to do, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. The ending was beautiful, and it nearly brought me to tears. I was so happy for Iris, I wanted to meet her in person and hug her!
This book took me on a journey that was heartfelt, frightening, and encouraging.
I learned so much about people who go through horrific experiences such as the main character Iris (domestic abuse) And in the past I would usually say “well, how hard is it to just leave?”
And now I have a whole different perception. It’s very hard. It’s nearly impossible. It doesn’t make you weak, but strong. No one should have to go through this, no one deserves it.
The book truly gives a delightful yet horrifying insight on domestic violence. It is a must read.
I think this book is highly underrated on this app.
I would recommend it for everyone to read as it gives a deep, meaningful message about domestic violence, and the horrors of it.
Iris, the main character, meets Mick who’s 14 years older than her. Their relationship starts off perfectly - he is the man for her. Until she begins witnessing his dark side, and soon, Iris has become Mick’s target.
Throughout the whole book Iris is accepting this treatment because she thinks this is all she deserves, she would never admit to herself that their relationship is toxic.
She would always defend Mick and apologize for making him mad.
This is what made me frustrated with Iris. Her character was portrayed as weak and unworthy of love, which made me have a negative view on her. It made me question whether she really thinks she deserves the violence, or she was just in denial.
Mick is the opposite of a perfect boyfriend. He can’t control his temper and he takes out his anger on his young, innocent and frail girlfriend. It doesn’t occur to him that he’s doing something wrong, because he’s convinced himself it’s okay.
Mick abuses Iris not just physically but emotionally as well.
And this is why Iris is eager to stay in the relationship for so long, because Mick is a manipulative boyfriend.
He gets in her head, a small voice saying “you can never leave me, and even if you wanted to, you’d be too damn scared to go through with it”.
The deeper I got into the book, the more my views changed on Iris.
At first, I thought this is all she settles for because she is weak. But I slowly learn how much courage it takes to leave an abusive boyfriend.
It’s as if she’s put in a cage, but it wasn’t locked. She could always escape, but she doesn’t know it.
She doesn’t know she’s capable, she doesn’t know she deserves better.
The book in its entirety was amazing, although it was very hard to read, as I became continuously frustrated with Iris. I kept thinking “how long will she keep this going?”, “how bad does it have to get in order for her to leave?”
And at last, she comes to her senses, and leaves her boyfriend. Well, she always knew this is what she had to do, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. The ending was beautiful, and it nearly brought me to tears. I was so happy for Iris, I wanted to meet her in person and hug her!
This book took me on a journey that was heartfelt, frightening, and encouraging.
I learned so much about people who go through horrific experiences such as the main character Iris (domestic abuse) And in the past I would usually say “well, how hard is it to just leave?”
And now I have a whole different perception. It’s very hard. It’s nearly impossible. It doesn’t make you weak, but strong. No one should have to go through this, no one deserves it.
The book truly gives a delightful yet horrifying insight on domestic violence. It is a must read.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 5, 2014
SPOILER ALERT - MINOR PLOT DISCUSSION - proceed with caution
Before I really get into discussion I want to say I read the book all the way through and it was interesting. I think to a younger reader, especially female, it could be helpful in getting them to perceive that they are in a bad situation. Near the end of the book I wanted to know what would happen next, and read through it quickly. My problems lie in the telling of the story and character development primarily, and my thoughts on it are what follows.
This novel covers the intriguingly taboo subject of romantic entanglement between a young woman, a seventeen year old minor in Iris's case, and an older man. Add to this equation Mick's propensity for violence and the book is a two in one for a bad news abusive relationship story. Most of the times this kind of gritty reality subject is arresting, upsetting, and deeply impacting for me as a reader. However I just did not feel it for this story and was rather disappointed.
Iris as a narrator bothered me. It was not just that she was weak and delusional about her own situation. Many women in this type of relationship have probably said and done the same thing she did throughout the novel. Perhaps this was the problem. This character was channeling so much of the overall voice of 'abused woman' that there was not enough room for her own voice to come through. As a character she just didn't seem very original. On top of this, whenever she made a step forward it always seemed manufactured so she could say just the right thing at the right time, a little speech about the situation, per say. I felt as if I was listening to the author preach rather than witnessing the character make any kind of development.
Besides Iris there were plot holes that bothered me as well. The author often had the story jumping around, telling something that happened and then back tracking, or even just skipping bits that were less important. Whatever happened to Tommy after the whole 'first time'? I understood that Iris didn't care for him and that she broke things off with him, but I can't really believe he would just drop right off the earth like that. Especially considering his usage of the "L" word. There had to be some sort of awkward moment or even just some words exchanged between the two when she stopped seeing him. I sincerely doubt he would just stop calling. It seemed a bit strange that it was barely even talked about in passing within Iris's own mind. Surely it would have caused at least a little more thought.
Then there was the character of Mick, which made very little sense to me. Why in the world would he just pick up with Iris the way he did? As a high school student, albeit a pretty talented one, the risk would be too much with him in the middle of a custody battle where spousal battery was a prime concern. He was a brash, violent, conniving man. I understand that about the character. But pursuing Iris so determinedly when he knew nothing about her and had no reason to be interested other than thinking her hot just goes beyond believable stupidity for even this character. I could believe it if he had spent some more time around her, maybe saw her own attention to him for a bit and liked it. Then pursuing, no matter how stupid, would have made a bit more sense. But just out of nowhere? It didn't really fly for me. His other actions throughout the novel didn't make a lot of sense either. He could fly off the handle at the littlest thing and hurt Iris for it, and then it comes to a moment when she stands up to him and straight out accuses him well-deservedly, and he does nothing!? All his actions spoke pretty clearly that he would sooner beat her into submission than even take the slightest argument from her. I feel like the story tried to chalk it up to fear on his part, but I'm not sure that he would get that afraid of whatever prowess Iris had over him. Perhaps she had served her purpose to him, and now leaving the country she no longer mattered enough. Considering his obsessive controlling behavior over her throughout the novel though, that doesn't seem like it would be the case.
There is mention of his affair with Iris's drama teacher, Ms. Cameron, but the time of that happening is never specified, only barely alluded to being before Iris took up with him. Did it happen before Ms. Cameron introduced him to the class? If so, was he making the moves on Iris before even closing ties with the teacher? If Ms. Cameron had already left him due to his HITTING HER, why in the world would she introduce him to a group of young impressionable teenagers, and then continue to let him be around them??? I mean she is shown to be a good teacher, but really? What kind of irresponsible idiot would do something like that?!? Then again I don't know how much stock I hold in her as a teacher since she introduced this man to her class in the first place, had suspicions of Iris's activity with him and said nothing about it save a few words to Iris, and then was supervising a party where there was obvious underage drinking as well as the smoking of weed. I mean there is the "cool teacher" and then there is the negligent adult. I don't have so much a problem with her being negligent, as I do with it being inferred that she was blameless in the situation.
To top it all off the side story plot about the BIG SECRET that her mother was keeping was disappointing and vastly anti-climatic to me. I won't give anymore away than I already have, but I definitely don't think it was worth the suspense that was expended on it.
So all in all, I feel like the plot and characterization had a lot of potential but it didn't really reach any of my expectations of it as a story.
Before I really get into discussion I want to say I read the book all the way through and it was interesting. I think to a younger reader, especially female, it could be helpful in getting them to perceive that they are in a bad situation. Near the end of the book I wanted to know what would happen next, and read through it quickly. My problems lie in the telling of the story and character development primarily, and my thoughts on it are what follows.
This novel covers the intriguingly taboo subject of romantic entanglement between a young woman, a seventeen year old minor in Iris's case, and an older man. Add to this equation Mick's propensity for violence and the book is a two in one for a bad news abusive relationship story. Most of the times this kind of gritty reality subject is arresting, upsetting, and deeply impacting for me as a reader. However I just did not feel it for this story and was rather disappointed.
Iris as a narrator bothered me. It was not just that she was weak and delusional about her own situation. Many women in this type of relationship have probably said and done the same thing she did throughout the novel. Perhaps this was the problem. This character was channeling so much of the overall voice of 'abused woman' that there was not enough room for her own voice to come through. As a character she just didn't seem very original. On top of this, whenever she made a step forward it always seemed manufactured so she could say just the right thing at the right time, a little speech about the situation, per say. I felt as if I was listening to the author preach rather than witnessing the character make any kind of development.
Besides Iris there were plot holes that bothered me as well. The author often had the story jumping around, telling something that happened and then back tracking, or even just skipping bits that were less important. Whatever happened to Tommy after the whole 'first time'? I understood that Iris didn't care for him and that she broke things off with him, but I can't really believe he would just drop right off the earth like that. Especially considering his usage of the "L" word. There had to be some sort of awkward moment or even just some words exchanged between the two when she stopped seeing him. I sincerely doubt he would just stop calling. It seemed a bit strange that it was barely even talked about in passing within Iris's own mind. Surely it would have caused at least a little more thought.
Then there was the character of Mick, which made very little sense to me. Why in the world would he just pick up with Iris the way he did? As a high school student, albeit a pretty talented one, the risk would be too much with him in the middle of a custody battle where spousal battery was a prime concern. He was a brash, violent, conniving man. I understand that about the character. But pursuing Iris so determinedly when he knew nothing about her and had no reason to be interested other than thinking her hot just goes beyond believable stupidity for even this character. I could believe it if he had spent some more time around her, maybe saw her own attention to him for a bit and liked it. Then pursuing, no matter how stupid, would have made a bit more sense. But just out of nowhere? It didn't really fly for me. His other actions throughout the novel didn't make a lot of sense either. He could fly off the handle at the littlest thing and hurt Iris for it, and then it comes to a moment when she stands up to him and straight out accuses him well-deservedly, and he does nothing!? All his actions spoke pretty clearly that he would sooner beat her into submission than even take the slightest argument from her. I feel like the story tried to chalk it up to fear on his part, but I'm not sure that he would get that afraid of whatever prowess Iris had over him. Perhaps she had served her purpose to him, and now leaving the country she no longer mattered enough. Considering his obsessive controlling behavior over her throughout the novel though, that doesn't seem like it would be the case.
There is mention of his affair with Iris's drama teacher, Ms. Cameron, but the time of that happening is never specified, only barely alluded to being before Iris took up with him. Did it happen before Ms. Cameron introduced him to the class? If so, was he making the moves on Iris before even closing ties with the teacher? If Ms. Cameron had already left him due to his HITTING HER, why in the world would she introduce him to a group of young impressionable teenagers, and then continue to let him be around them??? I mean she is shown to be a good teacher, but really? What kind of irresponsible idiot would do something like that?!? Then again I don't know how much stock I hold in her as a teacher since she introduced this man to her class in the first place, had suspicions of Iris's activity with him and said nothing about it save a few words to Iris, and then was supervising a party where there was obvious underage drinking as well as the smoking of weed. I mean there is the "cool teacher" and then there is the negligent adult. I don't have so much a problem with her being negligent, as I do with it being inferred that she was blameless in the situation.
To top it all off the side story plot about the BIG SECRET that her mother was keeping was disappointing and vastly anti-climatic to me. I won't give anymore away than I already have, but I definitely don't think it was worth the suspense that was expended on it.
So all in all, I feel like the plot and characterization had a lot of potential but it didn't really reach any of my expectations of it as a story.
November 6, 2013
Note: I received an ARC of this book from the publisher and the author in exchange for a fair and honest review.
Monique Polak manages to take a difficult (and too often taboo) subject and makes it accessible and straightforward for young readers who might not otherwise consider themselves "readers". Teenagers who might not normally pick up a book and read for the fun of it might find themselves surprised with just how engaged they become with Iris and her descent into a dark, abusive relationship with an older man.
The book is not perfect, but it is honest and that is what makes it so well done for the audience it was written for. "Young-adult" categorization aside, Iris, her state of mind and her struggles will resonate with female readers of all ages who have (like most of us, sadly) found themselves in a relationship that just "wasn't good" for them-- physically abusive or not. Yes, at times Iris borders on being so maddeningly naive that you just want to shake her, but the way she rationalizes with herself and makes excuses for Mick always manage to bring the reader back on her side with the bare, relatable truth behind her words.
"I wish Mick didn't have such an explosive temper. That's the right word for it: explosive. And it's hard to know what'll set him off. I know it comes with being passionate and creative. Mick gets upset because he cares so much-- too much, maybe. I could never be with someone who wasn't passionate and creative or who didn't care too much.... I know I'd be bored to death with anyone but Mick."
Iris and her need to and process of defending Mick and his actions to justify them to herself are just too familiar-- simply expressed or not. They're honest, real and raw. I know I've had similar conversations with myself in my own head at times while trying to rationalize someone else's behaviour that I logically and rationally know were "bad for me"-- the reasons we stay. I also know that I have heard too many friends have the same conversations out loud with me (and themselves). Polak has given a voice to Iris that, while still childish and frustrating at times, speaks to real and honest human experiences that are all to often dismissed through victim blaming, shaming or even acceptable as socially expected...
You can read my full review (and others) on my blog: www.adventuresofmamakujo.blogspot.ca
Monique Polak manages to take a difficult (and too often taboo) subject and makes it accessible and straightforward for young readers who might not otherwise consider themselves "readers". Teenagers who might not normally pick up a book and read for the fun of it might find themselves surprised with just how engaged they become with Iris and her descent into a dark, abusive relationship with an older man.
The book is not perfect, but it is honest and that is what makes it so well done for the audience it was written for. "Young-adult" categorization aside, Iris, her state of mind and her struggles will resonate with female readers of all ages who have (like most of us, sadly) found themselves in a relationship that just "wasn't good" for them-- physically abusive or not. Yes, at times Iris borders on being so maddeningly naive that you just want to shake her, but the way she rationalizes with herself and makes excuses for Mick always manage to bring the reader back on her side with the bare, relatable truth behind her words.
"I wish Mick didn't have such an explosive temper. That's the right word for it: explosive. And it's hard to know what'll set him off. I know it comes with being passionate and creative. Mick gets upset because he cares so much-- too much, maybe. I could never be with someone who wasn't passionate and creative or who didn't care too much.... I know I'd be bored to death with anyone but Mick."
Iris and her need to and process of defending Mick and his actions to justify them to herself are just too familiar-- simply expressed or not. They're honest, real and raw. I know I've had similar conversations with myself in my own head at times while trying to rationalize someone else's behaviour that I logically and rationally know were "bad for me"-- the reasons we stay. I also know that I have heard too many friends have the same conversations out loud with me (and themselves). Polak has given a voice to Iris that, while still childish and frustrating at times, speaks to real and honest human experiences that are all to often dismissed through victim blaming, shaming or even acceptable as socially expected...
You can read my full review (and others) on my blog: www.adventuresofmamakujo.blogspot.ca
January 6, 2017
Even though I knew this book would deal with an extremely sensitive topic, I could not finish reading it. I know that abuse happens in many forms to many different ages, but I found Iris, the main character, too trusting and at times desperate. I read around 150 pages, and I felt that the author could have begun to introduce the interventions even more so, but the other characters in the book just seem to be ok with Iris' abrupt decisions and changes. Maybe abuse has touched me and my loved ones too closely; maybe I just wanted to scream at her and her loved ones. I did skim the last few pages to see if another character finally said something to Iris. I think the interventions came a little too late.
June 23, 2022
Really good book. I felt like the words did a great job painting a picture. The only bad part was that some parts were triggering to someone who has been in an abusive relationship. This being said, it made me feel better overall. Made me feel like other people will get through it just like Iris did.
August 31, 2022
Lots of sex, but nothing explicit
April 28, 2014
"It happens quickly, so I have the weird sense I’m watching the scene unfold from a distance. As if there are two Irises. The good Iris- the one who makes Mick happy. The bad Iris- the stupid one who keeps screwing things up."
p99
Iris is seventeen, a high school senior in Montreal. She has a love of acting ; she is good- good enough to see this as a career. Her mother’s attitude toward this very insecure career choice is less than enthusiastic.
This year, the play is Hamlet, and Iris is playing Ophelia, when the Australian star director, Mick Horton, steps in to help as a favor to his friend, the drama teacher. (Ms Odette!) In fact, each chapter begins with an appropriate quote from Hamlet. Mick takes a special interest in Iris, helping her with scenes, and this quickly develops into a love interest/crush/adoration. As she is swept away by this icon’s flattery, dinners, and wine, she is also swept away into his bed.
At the same time that Iris is struggling to understand her fascination with Mick, she is contacted by her estranged father. The allure of an older man is not lost on the reader as these two themes combined with the Hamlet references, run on parallel tracks throughout the novel.
At first, Iris ignores the slaps and later punches because she “deserves” them. This classic power abuse cycle is the central theme. Iris’ descent in the abuse cycle is understandable and memorable. What doesn’t make sense is Iris’ mother, who allows her at seventeen, to live with this much older man. In the early stages, she is too busy to notice, but later, when she understands the situation, she is more a distant friend than a mother.
Polak is a Canadian author, and this novel is partially autobiographical.
p99
Iris is seventeen, a high school senior in Montreal. She has a love of acting ; she is good- good enough to see this as a career. Her mother’s attitude toward this very insecure career choice is less than enthusiastic.
This year, the play is Hamlet, and Iris is playing Ophelia, when the Australian star director, Mick Horton, steps in to help as a favor to his friend, the drama teacher. (Ms Odette!) In fact, each chapter begins with an appropriate quote from Hamlet. Mick takes a special interest in Iris, helping her with scenes, and this quickly develops into a love interest/crush/adoration. As she is swept away by this icon’s flattery, dinners, and wine, she is also swept away into his bed.
At the same time that Iris is struggling to understand her fascination with Mick, she is contacted by her estranged father. The allure of an older man is not lost on the reader as these two themes combined with the Hamlet references, run on parallel tracks throughout the novel.
At first, Iris ignores the slaps and later punches because she “deserves” them. This classic power abuse cycle is the central theme. Iris’ descent in the abuse cycle is understandable and memorable. What doesn’t make sense is Iris’ mother, who allows her at seventeen, to live with this much older man. In the early stages, she is too busy to notice, but later, when she understands the situation, she is more a distant friend than a mother.
Polak is a Canadian author, and this novel is partially autobiographical.
March 21, 2015
This coming of age story follows the life of a young aspiring actress Iris and her relationship with an older man. When an Aussie named Mick shows up to help the high school student with their upcoming performance of Hamlet, Iris becomes smitten with him. Because of their fourteen year age difference, Mick insist that they keep their relationship a secret, but that is only the first secret that Iris will be keeping. Mick becomes more and more violent as their relationship progresses and Iris's opinion of herself becomes smaller and smaller as the days go by.
There is also an underlying story as Iris gets in contact with her absent father. She begins to question how much she trust her mother as she learns more and more about the truth behind her parents breakup. What is the real reason her father is not in her life, and was it his choice or her mother's. The more time she spends with Mick and the more she isolates herself from everyone she knows, the more she questions everyone else she used to be close to.
The storyline is good for a low reading level high interest book but at times I felt my interest in the book lacking. I have read similar stories time and time again and I really wanted this one to stand out from the rest but it left me wanting more. There were also content issues that left me knowing that I could not put this on my high school shelves with good conscience. I expected sex to be a part of this book however I did not expect it to be as graphic as many of the scenes in the book were. Many were quite vivid. The book also contains language (although not overzealous, it is there), underage alcohol and drug use with a teacher present, shoplifting, and violent relationships.
There is also an underlying story as Iris gets in contact with her absent father. She begins to question how much she trust her mother as she learns more and more about the truth behind her parents breakup. What is the real reason her father is not in her life, and was it his choice or her mother's. The more time she spends with Mick and the more she isolates herself from everyone she knows, the more she questions everyone else she used to be close to.
The storyline is good for a low reading level high interest book but at times I felt my interest in the book lacking. I have read similar stories time and time again and I really wanted this one to stand out from the rest but it left me wanting more. There were also content issues that left me knowing that I could not put this on my high school shelves with good conscience. I expected sex to be a part of this book however I did not expect it to be as graphic as many of the scenes in the book were. Many were quite vivid. The book also contains language (although not overzealous, it is there), underage alcohol and drug use with a teacher present, shoplifting, and violent relationships.
August 20, 2013
I received an Advanced Readers Copy courtesy of LibraryThing.
So Much It Hurts is a story about a young aspiring actress named Iris who falls for a visiting director, Mick, who is considerably older than her. She ends up falling in love with him and he showers her with romantic gestures while keeping their relationship a secret. Eventually Mick turns violent and gets physical with Iris over the smallest details and disagreements. Meanwhile Iris remains in denial and assures herself that he still loves her and regrets hitting her each time. She later learns that several of Mick's past relationships have also gotten physical, one of which has a restraining order against him. Iris finally learns how to let him go and choose herself over him.
Overall, I really enjoyed this novel. Once I started I was finished within a day and I didn't want to put it down. I found myself getting so angry with Mick and frustrated with Iris because she's so blinded by the love she thinks she feels. I'm glad she finally came to terms with the fact that Mick is not a good person for her and she needed to get herself away now before it was too late. The mark of a good novel is one that gets your blood pumping, and this one definitely did. Job well done.
So Much It Hurts is a story about a young aspiring actress named Iris who falls for a visiting director, Mick, who is considerably older than her. She ends up falling in love with him and he showers her with romantic gestures while keeping their relationship a secret. Eventually Mick turns violent and gets physical with Iris over the smallest details and disagreements. Meanwhile Iris remains in denial and assures herself that he still loves her and regrets hitting her each time. She later learns that several of Mick's past relationships have also gotten physical, one of which has a restraining order against him. Iris finally learns how to let him go and choose herself over him.
Overall, I really enjoyed this novel. Once I started I was finished within a day and I didn't want to put it down. I found myself getting so angry with Mick and frustrated with Iris because she's so blinded by the love she thinks she feels. I'm glad she finally came to terms with the fact that Mick is not a good person for her and she needed to get herself away now before it was too late. The mark of a good novel is one that gets your blood pumping, and this one definitely did. Job well done.
November 13, 2013
Iris is a budding actress, starring as Ophelia in her high school production of Hamlet. When an old colleague of her drama teacher shows up, Iris is drawn into a relationship with the older man. Although Mick seems perfect, the warning signs are there for both the reader and Iris. Iris chooses to see only the best in Mick, even when he begins to hit her.
This is a pretty transparent and predictable story, but it is strangely appealing. I couldn’t put it down, even though I could see the turn of events throughout the book. Of course Mick was abusive and a thief. Of course Iris would shut out all her friends and her mother and ignore all the warning signs. Of course her friends would finally intervene, Iris would begin to see Mick’s faults, and Mick would finally leave her. But still I couldn’t stop reading. This is a pretty good cautionary tale that will likely hit home with some teens. Not high quality literature, but definitely readable and appealing to teen girls who read Lurlene McDaniel or even Nicholas Sparks. Although the cover lists ages 12+, there is some sexual content and alcohol and drug use, so probably not for younger teens.
This is a pretty transparent and predictable story, but it is strangely appealing. I couldn’t put it down, even though I could see the turn of events throughout the book. Of course Mick was abusive and a thief. Of course Iris would shut out all her friends and her mother and ignore all the warning signs. Of course her friends would finally intervene, Iris would begin to see Mick’s faults, and Mick would finally leave her. But still I couldn’t stop reading. This is a pretty good cautionary tale that will likely hit home with some teens. Not high quality literature, but definitely readable and appealing to teen girls who read Lurlene McDaniel or even Nicholas Sparks. Although the cover lists ages 12+, there is some sexual content and alcohol and drug use, so probably not for younger teens.
January 21, 2014
Iris wants to be an actress more than anything. When a fairly-famous director visiting from Australia takes notice of her, she’s flattered and completely intrigued. It doesn’t matter to her that he’s a decade and a half older than her because he’s so smart, charming, and attractive. She starts secretly dating Mick, and it isn’t long before she realizes that Mick has an anger in him that puts her in danger. By the time Iris realizes what’s happening, she’s isolated and embarrassed, so she continues to see him as his anger–and violence towards her–increases.
Novels about abusive relationships are tricky, because readers aren’t dumb and know when they’re being manipulated. There’s been no shortage of YA novels about abusive relationships in the past few years, and I’ve read quite a few of them.
Read my full review here: http://earlynerdspecial.wordpress.com...
Novels about abusive relationships are tricky, because readers aren’t dumb and know when they’re being manipulated. There’s been no shortage of YA novels about abusive relationships in the past few years, and I’ve read quite a few of them.
Read my full review here: http://earlynerdspecial.wordpress.com...
July 28, 2013
*** I won this book in a LibraryThing contest***
Overall, I enjoyed 'So Much It Hurts'. This book was a bit fast paced- a little too fast, but the story was good. The characters were well-developed, and had a voice of their own that was unique. I never found myself bored with the story, but I did get quite frustrated with Iris.
I could see the story of So Much It Hurts really happening, and it does happen which added the appeal to this book. Monique Polak has created a story that can reach out to people in situations like 'Iris and Mick', and help them realize that they are not alone.
I would recommend this book as a book worth reading, even if though I became insanely frustrated with Iris.
Overall, I enjoyed 'So Much It Hurts'. This book was a bit fast paced- a little too fast, but the story was good. The characters were well-developed, and had a voice of their own that was unique. I never found myself bored with the story, but I did get quite frustrated with Iris.
I could see the story of So Much It Hurts really happening, and it does happen which added the appeal to this book. Monique Polak has created a story that can reach out to people in situations like 'Iris and Mick', and help them realize that they are not alone.
I would recommend this book as a book worth reading, even if though I became insanely frustrated with Iris.
February 21, 2015
Reading this book was like reading the thoughts of a seven year old.
A teenage seven year old who shops in vintage shops, so you better be impressed.
She just got a lolly pop.
From a dark stranger.
Who was fourteen years older than her.
But the lolly tastes gooooooodddd....
And the man punched a wall, not her.
And how dumb exactly is she?
Oh now it's her.
Whoops.
~~~~~~
I am not cruel and I don't blame or accuse or ridicule people who find themselves in abusive relationships that they don't know how to get out of. I just thought this book was a terrible representation of that sort of relationship. It was too immature. Too amateur.
A teenage seven year old who shops in vintage shops, so you better be impressed.
She just got a lolly pop.
From a dark stranger.
Who was fourteen years older than her.
But the lolly tastes gooooooodddd....
And the man punched a wall, not her.
And how dumb exactly is she?
Oh now it's her.
Whoops.
~~~~~~
I am not cruel and I don't blame or accuse or ridicule people who find themselves in abusive relationships that they don't know how to get out of. I just thought this book was a terrible representation of that sort of relationship. It was too immature. Too amateur.
January 19, 2014
This is the story of 17-year-old Iris who falls for Mick, an Australian director who is fourteen years older, charming and abusive. Told in the first person, we are immediately drawn into Iris’s thoughts and feelings as she falls for the traps Mick has set out for her, traps that are disguised as gifts, affectionate gestures and love. Even though the reader knows that this is a story about violence in teen relationships, it’s still shocking when Mick first hits Iris and that’s due to Polak’s skill as a writer. She’s written a story that women of all ages should read, that will draw you in and keep you reading until the very end.
March 26, 2014
Iris, a talented actress, loves being on stage. She loves playing the role of someone else, because in her life, she's always in the shadows. Until Mick. Mick is a famous, attractive film director who thinks Iris has real potential. They have a secret relationship, that is, Iris is forbidden to tell anyone. Everything is going great, except for one thing. Iris has to watch her mouth around Mick. One wrong word, and he gets angry. So angry that he physically hurts her. With the help of her friends, family, and teachers, Iris learns that Mick is dangerous and that you should never feel unsafe, and if you do, speak up.
May 7, 2014
Domestic violence is a tough but important subject to breach. So Much It Hurts by Monique Polak does an excellent job of revealing how an older man can be charming and make a young girl feel special in order to get away with mistreating her. I was worried about how this novel would end, it was difficult to read because of the dark subject matter but I couldn’t stop. Iris has the combination of vulnerability and strength that makes a novel such as this compelling. Her pain and poor judgement will hopefully make young girls think about how they should be treated, and create empathy for those not strong enough to know how to avoid such situations.
March 15, 2014
As far as abuse narratives go, I've read a lot of them, and this was had a fairly didactic bent to it. It's easy for the reader to recognize when Iris is seeing things in a way that doesn't align with the reality. I was frustrated with her, but at the same time I believed that someone could be in her position and accept the type of "love" that Mick dishes out. While I don 't think she should date Tommy if she doesn't like him, I didn't 't understand why she didn't.
This is definitely a hard and uncomfortable novel.
This is definitely a hard and uncomfortable novel.
March 20, 2015
I grabbed this book just off a shelf in the library and looked up the reviews on goodreads. I decided to give it a chance and because it was a fast easy read I finished the book within 24 hours of starting it. It did drag on and on in some parts and I felt like I was inside this 17 year old's head which I'm sure is what the author wanted to convey. I wis the ending could have been more drastic but when it ended I was just like "hmm ok then".
April 4, 2015
This book was pretty though, but I think extremely well written. An abusive relationship is neither easy to read about or easy to write about and this book did a good job. I was worried that I would find myself disliking the main character, finding her "over victimized?" if that is a real thing. But this story registered as very real and authentic with relateable characters and a good storyline.
May 21, 2024
I loved this book. I felt like it really shows what it’s like in an abusive relationship to an extent of course. It doesn’t get super duper detailed into exactly what it’s like but I think it does a relatively good job at showing the start of it. The control and extreme emotional switches. 10/10 will read again.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 30, 2014
Read this mostly on my lunch hour. It moves quick, but sometimes you want to scream at Iris or her friends or family. There are different types of abuse and its good to see that for teens. The intervention at the end is great and Iris got off lucky with minimal abuse and a good support group.
May 20, 2023
An incredibly important and captivating read! I recommend to young adults who want to have more insight of domestic abuse, and how sometimes it might seem like true love.
I enjoyed the story and empathized with the main character. Talented author.
I enjoyed the story and empathized with the main character. Talented author.
July 11, 2013
Read for review.
January 8, 2015
Loved this book - going on the keeper-shelf. Loved watching the character journey through a toxic relationship while 'growing up.' Will be looking for more of this author's work! Highly Recommend!
June 7, 2016
I loved this book!
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