Building a Compassionate Relationship With Yourself

by Kim Fredrickson

Building a Compassionate Relationship with Yourself offers insight into the ways we lack compassion for ourselves, how that impacts us, and how we can speak God’s truth and grace into our interactions with ourselves. This transformational way of interacting with ourselves then flows out to others. The more compassion we have for ourselves, the more compassion and love we have to give to others.Many of us are quick to offer compassion to others, while often being harsh with ourselves. What is missing is self-compassion. It is not self-pity, where we wallow in the shame of what we have done. It is not self-complacency where we just accept where we are. Instead, it is the idea that we can be kind to ourselves when we fail, as well as treating ourselves with the caring support we would give another who is struggling. Self-compassion is absolutely essential for healthy, balanced living. There are huge benefits emotionally and relationally when we can practice self-compassion. Without it we are vulnerable to the opinions of others, are disconnected from our needs and ourselves and find it difficult to deal with and let go of our mistakes. This book came from the experience of working with clients therapeutically over the last 25 years who are so hard on themselves. They don’t interact with themselves in this unkind way because they want to…but because they don’t know any other way to relate to themselves when they fail, make mistakes, make poor decisions, or can’t foresee the future. I see them through such different eyes. I see good people who are struggling, who do their best to deal with life. They sometimes succeed; sometimes fail…just like all of us. What gets us into trouble aren’t the failures, but what we do with them. How we treat ourselves when we fail and have normal needs determines the course of our relationship with ourselves.Many, but not all of my clients have a strong belief in God and know that they are forgiven for their sins. Even with this head knowledge, they don’t always feel forgiven…instead they feel like they have to either continue to punish themselves for what they’ve done, or make up for it because they have no way to let it go. The Scriptural basis for self-compassion comes from Mark 12:28–31 where we are instructed to “love our neighbor as yourself”, as well as Ephesians 4:25–32 where we are shown what loving others looks like. This book will provide some understanding of why self-compassion is so hard to extend to ourselves, as well as provide hope and practical help to learn and grow in our ability to relate to ourselves in healthy and gracious ways. This book is filled with compassionate dialogues to extend to yourself, practical exercises to relate positively to yourself, as well as self-soothing skills to calm yourself.Building a Compassionate Relationship with Yourself Insight into the ways we lack compassion for ourselves, how that impacts us,and how we can speak God’s truth and grace into our lives~ An understanding of how we become divided against ourselves on the inside,and ways to heal this~ Ways to build inner strength and help heal from life’s hurts~ Scripts of how to respond compassionately to yourself when you don’t have the words to say ~ What it looks like to have a gracious compassionate relationship with yourself in the areas of self-talk, self-soothing, and self-care~ The Biblical foundation that self-compassion is based upon~ Practical exercises and tools you can use to build this relationship with yourself~ Places for you to write down your thoughts and feelings

160 pages, Paperback

First published March 7, 2013