Good Stuff from Growing Up in a Dysfunctional Family: How to Survive and Then Thrive

by Karen Casey

Is there a silver lining to growing up in a dysfunctional family?

Bestselling recovery author Karen Casey looks at stories of people who grew up in dysfunctional families and "the good stuff" that can come from the experience. "Throughout my many decades in recovery rooms I have interacted with thousands of women and men whose journeys reveal, in detail, the harrowing history of dysfunction that has troubled their lives," says Casey. "But what is also apparent in their stories is their eventual and quite triumphant survival, often against extreme odds."

Casey interviewed more than 24 survivors of families rife with dysfunction; survivors who willingly shared their stories and came to realize they had, surprisingly, thrived as the result of their often harrowing experiences. In "The Good Stuff from Growing Up in a Dysfunctional Family," Casey shares the stories and the skills these survivors developed to live more creative and fulfilling lives.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology

190 pages, Paperback

First published October 1, 2013

About the author

Karen Casey, Ph.D., has spoken on spirituality, relationships, and personal growth for more than twenty years. She is the author of twenty books devoted to the enhancement of one's personal and spiritual journey.

Her first book, Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women has sold more than three million copies. Casey is a popular public speaker on the spirituality conference circuit, and she is passionate about helping others in Twelve Step support groups where her own recovery from addiction began more than three decades ago. Cultivating Hope: Weekly Readings to Open Your Heart and Mind is her latest book.

She shares her time between her homes in Minnesota and Florida.

Reviews

[nikki · Rating 1 out of 5]

i understand and appreciate the intent of this book, i really do, but i have a hard time stomaching frequent sentiments such as: "I'm inclined to say that the offspring of dysfunctional homes may be the luckiest of all the members of the human community."

like... come on. this is straight-up romanticizing emotional pain and/or abuse, and isn't useful to anyone

i also just didn't like the writing style. awkward, padded phrasing and excessively syrupy prose do not make a good combination

[Travel Writing · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am sure this book will touch people. It is written in a simple way with accessible language.

For me, it was a long list of jovial bumper stickers, that seemed utterly disconnected from the reality of trauma research and somatic experiencing of people raised in dysfunctional homes.

I was at a funeral once and there was lovely, older woman who exuded warmth. To anyone who got within a foot of her, she would brightly exclaim some variation of, "Oh so glad you came! It is such a shame to lose him so young, but he is no longer suffering. God is good. He wouldn't want us to be sad."

After awhile, I noticed that people were swerving to avoid the little old lady. Her dismissal of the pain that was so blatantly present, her inability to allow anyone to feel- including herself, and, and her insistence on "looking at the bright side" was too painful.

I understand the message the author is extending: no matter how abysmal your upbringing- there are hidden gifts, but this book is just a print version of the lady at the funeral offering platitudes and not comfort.

The book also proclaimed that the author interviewed people, but what I encountered was the author telling you what she thought of the people she interviewed, not their experience. And it was troubling to read how many times she referred to "observing' people. Was she really at AA meetings or group therapy taking notes and then writing about it? Because that is just beyond awful.

But what did me in was the never ending use of: as I said before, as I mentioned earlier, as I said in the last chapter, I referred to ( ) just a moment ago...

[Emily Kestrel]

I am not going to rate this book because I simply could not get into it. I abandoned ship after one chapter, so I don't know if the content is helpful or interesting. I do like the author's focus on becoming a better, stronger person rather than wallowing in a "poor me" story. But I hated the writing style, finding it both didactic and saccharine. It annoyed me so much that I thought I was going to beat my head on the wall. I'll probably donate this one to the library. I'm sure the book will find a good home with someone who appreciates it. It just wasn't for me.

***I received a free copy of this book as a First Reads Giveaway.***

[Bailey Reber · Rating 4 out of 5]

While I found this book to be helpful overall as it challenged my ways of thinking, I was not a fan of the religious talk nor the interwoven toxic positivity. This book was published in 2013 before toxic positivity really came to life so I won’t harp on that part too much. As for religious talk, the book began with using lots of phrases like “the God of your understanding” which I really appreciated as I currently am on my path to figuring out if there’s any religion that I’m interested in following. As the book went on, it seemed to focus more on Christianity verses whichever religion/form of God the reader is faithful to. I found that to be disappointing as I wouldn’t have chosen to read this book if I knew that Christianity was an important aspect of it.

On the positive side, hearing stories of those who have overcome their own traumas and personal challenges was very uplifting. My family of origin was incredibly dysfunctional and learning that some of the dysfunction actually helped me become the woman that I am today was such a wonderful mindset shift. Before reading this book, I didn’t realize that I gained many great skills while in “survival mode” while growing up in a chaotic household.

I appreciate the effort put into this book and the vulnerability of those that the author interviewed who chose to share their stories.

[Alexandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

“there are no accidents or coincidences”. “You are exactly where you need to be in this situation and all situations”. Well…maybe. Not being a subscriber to this particular type of sloganism, there is still some value in this book. Recognition of a dysfunctional situation and Perseverance are the critical elements of the “good” takeaways of dysfunction. Or insight and stick-to-itness if you will. There are some inspiring examples and it is a quick read.

[Tea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I truly enjoyed this book and the positivity!

[Lindsay Foden-Flint · Rating 1 out of 5]

Gave up with this. Too much twelve step religion involved. Sometimes the optimism, in the face of real family abuse, was offensive.

[Alexa Brust · Rating 2 out of 5]

More religious than anticipated

[Kate Ditzler · Rating 3 out of 5]

this book arose out of a personal research project looking for the traits that adults who grew up in dysfunctional families exhibit. the first three chapters (resilience, perseverance, and humor) seemed to follow the research question, but after that it devolves into a study of the traits that those who have worked the 12-steps exhibit: forgiveness, acceptance, detachment.

I can see how I might have developed resilience, but I sure haven't medically gained the ability to forgive.

[Kim Freitas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. Very informative. There's plenty of info in it for anyone that interacts with people. So if you don't live, work, act in a solitary role, live in a cave as a hermit, this book is well worth reading. Thanks for the great info. Thanks for the book. I will look into more from this author.

[Tony Parsons]

since Adam & Eve there has been no such thing as a functional family luv 2 win/read this book

[Sara]

Well-meaning, but far too touchy-feely for me to get beyond the first chapter.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very cheerful book, highly recommended. The title and subtitle sum it up perfectly. Fairly short, lots of anecdotes. Perhaps a bit excessively optimistic.

Inspirational.

[Dan Stern]

I loved this author's take on dysfunction in families. Let's see-husband's sister stole money and moms ashes from us so she's on the outs til that gets resolved-his cousin who my daughter thinks of as an Aunt is coming to see us soon from Switzerland is one of the most lovely people you'll meet. And daughter will move out for a summer in Switzerland in the next few. On my side my mom comes to visit regularly and my sisters are my best friends! Their children are bonded deeply with their cousins. :) This is all after lots of work-and to top it off our kiddos have the best god parents in the universe-our son is going out to stay with his god father this summer-so for anyone saddened by dysfunction is at be full of love and you can heal anything! When I see my husbands overweight and dysfunctional family I send them blessings along with healthy boundaries! Health in family comes through in physicsl health most definitely! I'm a grateful and blessed woman-wouldn't change a thing!