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Tiny Buddha's Guide to Loving Yourself: 40 Ways to Transform Your Inner Critic and Your Life

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From Stress to Happiness.  Many of us know intellectually that we need to be good to ourselves if we want to be happy. But it feels so hard. We are simultaneously the harsh judge and the lost, scared child who wants to stop feeling judged. It becomes a vicious cycle. It only stops when we step outside ourselves and observe how we got ourselves stuck. Only then can we learn to practice gratitude and positive thinking. Joy and Peace.  Lori Deschene, creator of TinyBuddha.com and the self-help journals  Tiny Buddha's Worry Journal  and  Tiny Buddha's Gratitude Journal , shares 40 unique perspectives and insights to help you stop judging yourself so harshly. Featuring stories selected from hundreds of TinyBuddha.com contributors,  Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself  provides an honest look at what it means to overcome critical, self-judging thoughts to create a peaceful, empowered life. More than a Self-Help Book.   Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself  is a collection of vulnerable reflections and epiphanies from people who are learning to love themselves, just like you. In this book, you will Readers of inspirational books and spiritual books like  The Book of Joy  or other books by Lori Deschene such as Tiny Buddha's Worry Journal   or Tiny Buddha's Gratitude Journal  will love  Tiny Buddha's Guide to Loving Yourself .

288 pages, Hardcover

First published October 1, 2013

239 people are currently reading
1407 people want to read

About the author

Lori Deschene

21 books149 followers
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha, an online community that enables participants to share their experiences and insights to help themselves and others. Since launching the site in 2009, she has helped over a thousand writers tell their stories, attracting more than three million monthly readers.

Lori is the author of Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions and Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself. She has presented at the Wisdom 2.0 Conference, and her writing has been featured in Good Housekeeping, Cosmopolitan, Shambhala Sun, Tricycle: The Buddhist Review, and Chicken Soup for the Soul. Lori lives in San Mateo, California.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 46 reviews
Profile Image for Anastasia Peesker.
15 reviews
February 23, 2014
As I am moving through a rough time in my life, I have begun looking to the doctrines of Buddhism and what it can teach us about ourselves.

Deschene offers this "blook" - a book made from a blog - as a sort of guide for how to treat yourself with love and respect. She started Tiny Buddha as a way for a community of online writers to share their experience and wisdom with the world through this website. This book takes selections from these wise posters, separated into categories relating to different methods of introspection.

The book covers such topics as how to forgive yourself, how to overcome grief, and how to start accepting your flaws. These, as well as many others, helped me to contemplate my issues and establish some kind of self admiration. I found it very interesting how these articles combined personal experience with typical Buddhist beliefs. All together, it turned out to be a beneficial combination. It's the kind of guide you can read all at once, chronologically, or piece by piece depending on what you're in need of reference. It's perfect for almost any difficult time in your life.

Not only is is helpful in that respect, but I discovered the beauty of these people's lives through their stories. It's very inspiring to read about others who have gone through other problematic occurrences and who have moved passed them with these creative, inner-directive tactics.
Profile Image for D.
495 reviews2 followers
April 9, 2014
Enjoyed the book and some great quotes. The backstory of the author opened my eyes.

We are not alone with what we’re going through. We all want to be happy, we all want to move beyond our pain, and we all have infinite potential.

See yourself as beautiful and valuable with all your flaws and weaknesses
Minimize the need for approval to feel more confident
Feel complete so you no longer look to others to fill a void within yourself
Find the courage to share your authentic self for deeper connections with others
Learn to take care of yourself instead of putting everyone else’s needs first

Turn your attention to your true passions. If you are holding out for someone else to finally “see” you or love the real you, drop in with yourself and ask, “Do I see the ‘real’ me? Am I allowing my true self to be voiced and be seen?” Do you have spaces in your life where you let down your guard and be authentic?

What inspires you? Remember which wolf you are feeding

Embrace our imperfections -- the glorious typo, my gray hairs, my freckles, impatience and messes, oversensitivity… For today, choose to live with compassion for myself, and by extension, for others. Embody the dynamism of life rather than control or block its flow.

When an idea has significant shape, offer it up, in a stage near completion. Let other help us hone and polish our creations. The end result is far more powerful than the work of one mind can ever be.

the Sanskrit word for repetitive patterns is a samskara

We love because it is the only true adventure - Nikki Giovanni

Learn to be comfortable alone. When you deflect conversations from myself to other people, remember, ‘That’s her garden, stay in yours.”

You, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection
- Buddha

Use the mantra “I am loved’ if you feel the urge to cling to other people
“security priming” - visualize the experience of being loved and cared for
train yourself to feel the type of reassurance you’re seeking from others

challenge your fears around love so you don’t end up settling for an unhealthy relationship

identify your core values and priorities to better know, understand and love yourself

treat yourself as you want a partner to treat you

When you’re too scared to be real, allow yourself to be authentic.

We need to feel deeply connected to other people, fully seen and appreciated by them, and secure in those relationships. Without intimate and meaningful relationships, we ultimately feel alone. We value physical possessions less when we feel loved and accepted by others because relationships can provide a sense of comfort, insurance and protection. They are the most valuable things in our lives. Show up as we truly are.

Some people will stay closed off, but it’s worth the vulnerability to find the ones who won’t.

Our lives only improve when we are willing to take chances -- and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves -- Walter Anderson

What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful - Brené Brown

Have respect for yourself, and patience and compassion. With these, you can handle anything -- Jack Kornfield

Your outlook on life is a direct reflection on how much you like yourself - Lulumon

The grass is always greener where you water it - unknown

What would make me proud of myself if I weren’t trying to impress other people?

Experiment with what gives you energy. Give yourself time and space to explore.
Profile Image for Jenny Whetzel.
422 reviews27 followers
December 19, 2015
This is the first Tiny Buddha book that I have read and I can't wait to read the rest! :) It has a Chicken Soup for the Soul theme, only that it focuses on how to love yourself (as title implies). I am a visual learner so I was THRILLED when I started reading and found out that the book has people's examples on how they love themselves.
Profile Image for Surya.
Author 0 books69 followers
April 6, 2020
A couple of chapters really struck a chord while a couple of other chapters were contradicting and confusing.
Profile Image for Ana-Maria Petre.
141 reviews52 followers
November 20, 2022
A cute little collection of people's stories. Contains a few gems and quite a lot of repetition, but it's cozy and relaxing.
Profile Image for Cecy.
84 reviews1 follower
April 5, 2018
"Se requiere valor para crecer y convertirse en quién realmente eres"
E.E. Cummings
Profile Image for Kara.
Author 27 books95 followers
Read
January 10, 2018

DNF.

There were probably some pearls of wisdom buried in here, but I was completely turned off by the style of a compilation of a lot of people's anecdotes about terrible things that happened to them and the Life Lessons they learned.

I was practically breaking out in hives from the high school health class flashbacks.
Profile Image for Nathan.
283 reviews1 follower
June 6, 2022
A great little book that is a collection of blog posts. It's the first book I have read on my phone, it was so nice to always have something to read when I had a free moment. Each little chapter is the story of a persons life, what needed to be changed, what they did differently, and what they learned. Fun and easy read.
Profile Image for Charish Mallery-Brown.
2 reviews
July 17, 2017
I would recommend this book to.. everyone!!! I enjoyed reading so many different people's perspectives as well as the author. Self love and self acceptance is such a large part of the journey of life :)
Profile Image for Christy.
104 reviews
June 27, 2017
Tidbits of motivations. Some stories are relatable some not - but all give a positive message.
Profile Image for Omar Taufik.
240 reviews11 followers
July 19, 2018
The second book I read in the Tiny Buddha series, and if there is something about both books it is that the author writes from the heart to the heart .. the book is a nutritious meal of insightful wisdom with practicality and simplicity ..

The author states the following at the start of the book about the core message of TinyBuddha.com :
" WE ARE NOT ALONE WITH WHAT WE'RE GOING THROUGH. THAT's the core message behind tinybuddha.com, a community blog that features stories and lessons from people of all ages from all over the world. It's a place where we can come together to share our struggles and successes, knowing that despite our unique life circumstances, we're really not all that different. No matter what we do, what we believe, where we've been, or where we're going, we all want to be happy, we all want to move beyond our pain, and we all have infinite potential, if only we're willing to believe it."

So with this global community sharing we manage to experience relief or as the author states : " It's a tremendous relief to realize that whatever we're feeling, it's okay. We're okay. We don't have to fight it. We just have to acknowledge it, try to understand it instead of judging it, and then use that understanding to grow through and beyond it."


We are not alone in what we are going through .. a reality .. The misconception is the thought we get that there is some thing wrong with us and that is why we go through whatever we go through because there is something wrong with us .. Shame .. Based on a misconception ..a Thought .. Which causes resistance to loving ourselves therefore negatively impacting our lives ..
Change this misconception , your thoughts .. And you change your life

Ideas/themes to help overcome the shame and therefore love yourself :
*Release shame about your past and the limiting beliefs that keep you stuck
*See yourself as beautiful and valuable, with all your flaws and weaknesses
*Accept yourself more and judge yourself less
*Forgive yourself for your mistakes and stop being hard on yourself *Minimize the need for approval to feel more confident
*Let go of the comparisons that keep you feeling inferior
*Feel complete so that you no longer look to others to fill a void within yourself
*Find the courage to share your authentic self for deeper connections with others
*Learn to take care of yourself instead of putting everyone else's needs first
*Believe that you're valuable so you can start creating a life you love

The author builds the book around those themes/ideas writing a chapter on each idea. The chapter is made up of an introduction by the author followed by 4 different blog posts (stories) relevant to the chapter/theme. The chapter ends with 4 tips for Self Love based on the the 4 posts included in the chapter.
To be honest, all ten chapters were a wonderful enriching reading experience. In this experience I came upon stories in which I could relate to, others which were not that relevant but were mind expanding and deeply inspiring. I repeatedly got this inner feeling of peace and acceptance to myself, life and humanity seeing it all as a creation of love and beauty.

A very useful reference is available at the end of the book as a summary of ;
the 40 tips mentioned throughout the book , the quotes mentioned before each story , the titles of the stories mentioned throughout the book, a briefing on each of the 40 blog post/story contributors.


In her second book, the author manages again to utilize her website TinyBuddha.com vast database along with her experience and talent to produce this book as a great help in the field of self love and overcoming shame.


I believe this book could provide a maximum benefit when studied in detail actually digesting it's valuable gems and rich material. I intend to give it another visit in this regards.
The author did more than a great job in writing this book and I would give it a straight 5/5 rating with a recommendation to everybody in the name of love, acceptance and living a life of deeper meaning ..
Profile Image for Pri.
223 reviews5 followers
April 27, 2025
This is hands down one of the cutest, most surprisingly deep little books I’ve ever read. I picked it up and couldn’t put it down. Finished it in one sitting. Thought it would be 40 random articles but no, these are 40 reflections that hit way harder than I expected.

The structure is clean. The selection of pieces from the Tiny Buddha blog is brilliant. Whoever curated this had their coffee and their clarity. Even though it was published years ago, I randomly found it while messing around with my Feedly settings. Honestly, it felt like the universe threw me a bone. I just wish it had thrown it a decade earlier. :/ Would have saved me years of bumping into the same walls.

This book does what most spiritual guides take 500 pages to almost do. It gets you out of survival mode and reminds you that living is the point. Not overthinking. Not overcomplicating. Actually living. Turns out most of our “unique problems” aren’t so unique after all. The layers of crap we carry look a lot alike. Guilt, shame, trauma, weird assumptions, bad judgment calls. It is all here, but broken down so simply it doesn’t feel heavy. It just feels real.

If you’re someone who has never meditated or even thought about self-inquiry, start here. If you’re a teenager or a grown adult secretly feeling like you missed some “life manual,” start here. One article a day, one reflection a day, and you will start seeing your patterns without needing a thousand therapy sessions or ten years in a cave. This book is about healing without the drama. Empowerment without the cheesy pep talks. Honesty without the pity party. It reminds you that you are not broken, just layered.

I love it. I’m late to the party, but better late than still stuck.
Profile Image for C.W. Rose.
Author 2 books136 followers
January 28, 2018
I picked up this book when I was going through a bit of a personal crisis, which caused me to realize that I had internalized and suppressed a lot of issues that I've been struggling with since childhood. So, I decided to seek some help in understanding these issues and how I could turn them around to live a happier and mentally healthier life.

Without giving away too much, I struggled with a lot of the issues detailed by Ms. Deschene and the contributing readers, and saw a little bit of myself in every chapter...some more than others, of course. Reading the stories by the contributers put things into more perspective, and it made the issues described more real and relatable, so to speak. The chapters were also very well organized, with an introduction, followed by stories, and then a summary in each one. I came out of it with a better understanding of myself and why I behave and think in certain ways, and while it will take time to heal old wounds, knowing is half the battle.

So many of us grow up learning to do what others want and fulfilling others' needs before our own, and present an image to the world that's vastly different from what we're really feeling, and are afraid to be real, be ourselves. I was one such person. I recommend this book to anyone struggling with any sort of self-doubt, whatsoever. After all, how can we give love to others and learn to accept others when we can't love and accept ourselves?

Very well done and inspirational book, and I look forward to reading the author's other works.
Profile Image for Erin.
310 reviews22 followers
September 11, 2018
I was disappointed with his book. Perhaps I was expecting something different. This book is a collection of essays written by various contributors to the Tiny Buddha web page. As such, each is different in writing style and experience. To me it felt like a jumble of random essays thrown together and called a book. It would undoubtedly be a support to someone just looking to feel like they're not alone in the struggle of life. But it was certainly not what I was expecting or seeking.
Profile Image for Sameer Khan Brohi.
Author 4 books59 followers
April 22, 2022
I rushed through the pages, liking, pardon, I mean adoring every truthful fable, such a nicely potrayed and told, made me go high on this self love journey.  It does create a change, pushing you firmly towards your inner beautiful soul while accepting its deep spanks of mind chattering with mellow pats. I got my lense out to every word the creators said, highlighting almost everything I could come up with. 💜💜💜There is some eerie magic in this book💜💜💜
Profile Image for Traci.
1,107 reviews44 followers
Want to read
July 2, 2020
I love the Tiny Buddha Facebook page, so I was excited to see this title as a digital offering through my library. I checked it out - TWICE - and just could not get into it. I don't know if it's me or the book, but something about it didn't appeal.

I would still like to read it at some point, but for now, it's a did-not-finish.
Profile Image for Jennifer Madgiak.
74 reviews15 followers
July 11, 2017
While this book did give positive affirmations about life---- the format would have been better in a daily calendar form. It took me a long time to get through this tiny book because I would read a chapter each week -I would get bored after reading similar essays within each chapter.
Profile Image for Stef.
1,174 reviews6 followers
December 12, 2017
Weak sauce. It started out compelling enough, but then the essays started sounding more and more alike, phrasing the same messages in barely different ways. I imagined the target audience being white women who can't live without Starbucks and Soulcycle.
Profile Image for Austin Rose.
28 reviews
September 11, 2018
I've been working on becoming my own best friend (aka treating myself as kindly as I'd treat my best friend) for a bit now and this book provided some great specific tips that I can use toward that goal.
Profile Image for Aditi Gupta.
179 reviews12 followers
February 5, 2020
What a beautiful thing to read when you are hurting, broken, and can find no absolute reason to keep going and loving yourself.


This book is a gem and must be read and possessed by everyone out there!
Profile Image for Dmytro Safonov.
Author 3 books1 follower
July 9, 2019
Very nicely written and helpful

Nicely written and helpful book on getting to love yourself. Straightforward and actionable , you can find lots of advice and tips too
Profile Image for Akina.
15 reviews
October 11, 2022
A book full of lovely and kind words. It gets repetitive in some places but that is all right.
Profile Image for Amanda.
54 reviews
July 28, 2024
Joli livre, facile à lire et facile à écouter dans sa version audio. De nombreuses astuces faciles à appliquer pour apprendre à s'aimer, commencer à s'apprécier
Profile Image for LakshmiSandeep.
51 reviews87 followers
January 13, 2017
A collection of stories to emphasize on the necessity of Self Love - One of the critical quality that needs to be developed for a better life.
Profile Image for Lawanen.
68 reviews5 followers
October 19, 2016
I like how this book hits the spot. I have never higlighted a book so frequent as this one. What I usually like about reading this kind of things is that their words are completely in tune of my spiritual journey. Of course, not all self help books feels like that. I guess, I wanted what I want and I'd like to think the universe conspired to allow me to read this book.

I really enjoy any spiritual journey I take.. I am introspective by nature and an extrovert at the same time. When I have my down time, which is some of my most cherished moments in my life, there is something different of how everything feels. It's like I am paying full attention internally despite being in a jeepney or a train or in a crowd.. Maybe, at times, while I'm with other people.. Any external interaction is tuned out.. Any sound, any hustle.. Any external attempts of getting my attention is involuntarily ignored.. When I am in my zone, these postive words plays in my heart and my soul like delightful whispers. And I get to experience that while reading this book. At moments when phrases speaks volumes, I would just smile and exclaim to myself with utter amazement. This is the very reason why I love my alone time. It is a comforting thought that I feel at home by just spending time with myself.

To some, the bible might be the food to their soul.. Well, I haven't felt that connected with the bible up to this point so this kind of positive reinforcement encourages me to be nearer to God and feed my good wolf. Maybe someday, the bible will be as resounding and as relatable as this kind of books.

Anyway, it's always liberating when I feel good about myself. Thank you, Tiny Buddha!
Profile Image for Beby.
155 reviews37 followers
March 2, 2016
This is a great book. Buku ini merupakan kumpulan2 cerita yg pernah diposting di TinyBudha.com. It has Chicken soup's soul but it focuses more on loving yourself. Di buku ini kita diajarkan untuk lebih mencintai diri sendiri. Treat yourself the way you want people to treat you. Di buku ini kita juga diajarkan bahwa kita itu ga sendiri. Banyak orang yg mengalami masalah2 yg sama yaitu lebih mencintai diri sendiri dan menghargai kelebihan2 kita. Di setiap akhir chapter ada dikasih 4 tips bagaimana untuk lebih mencintai diri. Penulisnya jg bilang perjalanan utk mencintai diri sendiri itu ga gampang bahkan ada kalanya kita jg merasa down banget. Tapi akhirnya kita menyadari bahwa semua ini cuma sementara aja dan akhirnya kita bisa mengambil hikmah dari perjalanan itu. everything happens for a reason.

Walopun judulnya Tiny Budha tp bukan berarti di buku ini kita diajarkan agama Budha. Jd kamu bisa baca buku ini dan mengambil pelajaran2 dari tulisan2 kontributornya.

Profile Image for Cloris Kylie.
Author 2 books21 followers
January 4, 2014
Lori Deschene continues her labor of love through this book. Similar to Tiny Buddha, the book is a joint effort between the author and the community that she leads. I feel proud and blessed to be part of the Tiny Buddha community, and reading this book has helped me feel closer to my fellow contributors and the author, who founded this amazing movement for shared wisdom.

Learning about people's struggles with self-love is eye-opening. I've realized that many people out there have gone through situations as difficult or a lot more difficult than mine. Also, I've learned that we're all advancing on the same path of spiritual growth, but each one of us is doing it at his or her own pace. Personal growth cannot start without self-love, and this book is a great tool to start.

www.cloriskylie.com
Profile Image for Melissa .
135 reviews12 followers
May 13, 2015
This book is a collection of various stories, articles, and insights that help motivate the reader to appreciate life and all the lessons it brings. I felt inspired after reading Tiny Buddha's Guide to Loving Yourself: 40 Ways to Transform Your Inner Critic and Your Life to address some of the challenges I was facing, and to share this information with friends. It was a quick read, and I particularly enjoyed the style of it being broken up into 40 different lessons.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 46 reviews

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