Riptides & Solaces Unforeseen

by Debby Mayer

Part mystery, part love story, part report from the medical front in the United States today, Riptides relates the fast-onset brain cancer that ripped through a strong, healthy man and led to his death four months later at the age of fifty-six. The book is a searing chronology of the effects of devastating illness, of being caught in the maw of hospitals, of unthinkable decision-making and small, unexpected solaces. Tightly written, fact-based, it is never maudlin, and it offers an element of hope without sentimentality. Riptides is a harrowing read. The writing is honest and intimate, the language spare and precise. Encounters with the health care system-doctors, nurses, aides-repeatedly fail to provide reassurance, honesty, or reliable information, and often end in promises that are not kept. These are human failings, but they are devastating when two is becoming one. Our hospitals and hospices can do better than that. -Nancy H. Smith Professor Emeritus of Anthropology and Psychology Antoin Boisen, the father of clinical pastoral education, wrote that every patient and family member is a "living, human document"-a story waiting to be heard. As a health-care chaplain I recommend this story, Riptides, to anyone working with patients. -Keith F. Patterson Chaplain, Episcopal Diocese of Vermont In four months an active, intelligent, forceful man becomes an invalid, incapable of speech or voluntary movement. Friends and family barely have time to adjust to one set of symptoms before the decline advances. The impact of these terrible events is heightened by the writer's understated, matter-of-fact prose until the reader feels almost a participant in this tragic story. No one who reads it will ever forget this book. -Molly Laird RN, PhD, Emergency Room Psychiatric Nurse Debby Mayer's blog, 2 widowhood for the rest of us, can be found at debbymayer.blogspot.com or through debbymayer.com. An excerpt from Riptides was awarded a grant in creative nonfiction from the New York Foundation for the Arts. Debby Mayer is also the author of A Novel (Putnam's, Berkley). Her short fiction and journalism have been widely published. She lives in Hudson, New York.

252 pages, Paperback

First published April 11, 2013

About the author

Debby Mayer is a writer and talker in San Diego, California. In addition to Riptides, she has published a novel, Sisters; numerous short stories; and reams of journalism. She received two grants from the New York Foundation for the Arts: one in nonfiction, for “Therapy Dogs,” an excerpt from Riptides, and one in fiction for “The Secretary,” a short story published in The New Yorker. She holds an MA in creative writing from City College, where Sisters won the DeJur Award. Her day jobs have been arts administration (Poets & Writers, Inc.) and editing (Publications Office, Bard College). More at debbymayer.com.

Reviews

[Brenda Shufelt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Riptides & Solaces Unforeseen is a compelling memoir of how one human being meets the sudden deterioration of her life' companion. It makes so clear how an articulate, learned, reasonable person who loves and is dedicated to someone suddenly, inexplicably fallen ill can experience confusion, dismay and helplessness in the face of the layers of procedure, custom, ridiculousness, and lack of communication and feeling that often is our modern medical world. That world consists of a system that seems destined to keep any sense or human contact out of the equation. An important read for doctors and others in the medical profession, people going through a medical catastrophe with a loved one, and all other human beings.

[Abbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Riptides and Solaces Unforeseen is a moving memoir, which depicts both the slow process of death, and the way that it is coped with. Mayer recounts her experience with tragedy, in which her significant other contracted cancer. Mayer offered commentary on the healthcare systems in place, depicting how terrible her experience was. While attempting to cope with the declining health of her significant other, Mayer had to fight in order to obtain the needed treatments. Her hardships were astounding, and her memoir reflects the experiences of not just herself, but many others as well. In the end, it could be seen that we are all merely mortal, and everyone's life will eventually come to an end. What matters is how you use and fight for the life you are given.

[Samantha Gardner · Rating 4 out of 5]

It feels hard to write a review of something so personal to the author. I docked a star for grammatical errors throughout despite the author working in publishing.

*Read for COMST 450B Health Communication*

[Karen Reinhart]

Sadly comforting

I grieved and lost all over again, but came out the other side knowing others have walked in this path and others will follow.

[Jody Weber · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sad!